Struggling

[4forme]

I found raw 2 yrs ago and it served amazing purposes for healing. I never really lost weight, but i didn't control what i ate as long as it was raw. It was never possible for me to be 100%, but was as close as I could be.

Since moving back to the US from Singapore I have flound it extremely dificult to eat raw even 50%. It's just so cold! I am also home all day homeschooling my 4 kiddos so around food all day.

I still suffer from Hypothytroid (poss hashis) and major craving for sugar, and just about everything.
Each day I want to start out raw but somehow end up with something quite the opposite in my mouth! What has happened to my self control and my ability to be strong amidst temptation of cooked foods? Why is it I eat the very stuff I want to stay away from?
I am now a good 15-20lbs above what I want to be with only 3 pairs of pants that fit comfortably, 2 of them being exercise pants!:eek: I am b'feeding my 2 yo and desire so badly to be back in control.
What is the best way to get out of this rut? Juice fast, water fast, smoothie fast?
I will be completely honest, I want this weight gone more than anything, even health! Obviously, food is trumping my weightloss desires for some unknown reasons.
I am ashamed and stuck. Please send some thoughts, some tough love and whatever experiences you might have to offer.
Desperate times are calling for desperate measures!

[GreenVariety]

Awww sweetie you need to be gentle with yourself! I'm relatively new to raw but I have to admit that it took me accepting myself to be able to go raw 100%. It was 19 degrees when I got up this morning and I haven't had a craving for warm food all day (or in the past two months). Before I was 100% I was about 100% 95% of the time on willpower alone and I crashed right at the beginning of December! I went on an outright binge. And the worse I felt about myself the worse I ate. Read some empower books and get yourself in the right mindset and there will be a world of possibilities that open up to you! And green smoothies (at least a quart - fill up a big mason jar) a day are GREAT! Avocado also really helped me! You can make blended soups that are absolutely to live for and eat heavy greens (or blend them) which will really help you. But most of all be gentle with yourself! Drink lots of water and get those dark leafy greens into you!

Lots of love and RAWhugs!! It gets easier!

[contessa20]

(((hugs)))

First, I would suggest that you stop and take a deep breath.

Now, are you exercising? Are you drinking plenty of water? Not doing those two things greatly contributed to my out-of-control SAD eating. Actually, it will also contribute to overeating on raw too but that's probably less of a problem at the moment.

Okay, personally, I wouldn't start with a fast of any kind but that's just me. It's too restricting for the very beginning when will-power is sometimes minute by minute and SAD cravings abound.

My suggestion would be to start exercising and drinking a TON of water. Start every morning off with a big glass of water followed by a green smoothie.

My final suggestion would be to get Alissa's DVD and watch it straight through. If you can't afford it right now then search for raw vegan recipes on YouTube and watch as many as you have time for. Seeing the foods being made so quickly and almost effortlessly is SO inspiring. I had had Alissa's recipe book for a couple of years but the day after I watched the DVD I instantly went 100% raw vegan. I made no promises or declarations to myself about how long I would do it for; I just did it and followed suit everyday thereafter. About a week in I joined the 30-Day Challenge here (which I would absolutely suggest for you) and now I don't know that I could look back even if I wanted to.

You can do it!!!

[Veganforlife]

A agree with the previous posters. Be positive about this. If you want it to be, it will...

Hang out here. Ask questions. Read. Learn. Listen. Live.

RAW baby!!!!

[4forme]

Thanks for the encouragement. It's not easy to stop beating yourself up, how strange does that sound!?

A fast is very restricting, but sometimes, when you have an unhealthy relationship with food, just being raw isn't strict enough. Does that make sense?
I totally relate to the mindset of the worse I feel, the worse i eat. that in itself is frustrating because it's food (amongast other thing i know) that got me here in the first place.
there are many other facets that i havebn't explained that make this difficult. But, nothing is impossible.
But, where do i go from here? I gorged myself on food for b'fast and lunch. My mind is a tricky place. I want to not eat til morning, or eat raw dinner. period, or the other evil side of me wants to eat everything bad in sight cause "tomorrow i will start over" (famous last words-the same ones i spoke last night while eating a large bowl of kix and rice milk!)

There are social situations that keep me wanting to hybernate and not go out, mainly because I am disspointed at myself and the fact I have nothing to wear!
UGH!:confused:

[mattshor]

ok, take a break and stop for a second. Don't let yourself get in a panic.

Take a minute and do something that was once difficult for you and that now you've developed the skill. It can be small. Just take a minute to remember that you are a capable and strong person.

Now, look at the raw challenges you are having. How can you set yourself up for success. Maybe right now, before you change your diet you need to take a little time to set up the environment. Do you need to stock up on some basic foods to have on hand so that when you are hungry and exhausted you don't in desperation turn to something cooked? Do you have too much stress going on at the moment and need to set aside a few minutes for prayer/meditation/reflection?

Now, pick one thing that you are going to change. Maybe it will be to just have a GS for breakfast 5 times per week. Maybe you will try one new raw recipe every week. Maybe you will just promise yourself that once per day you will make a better choice. That will be your project until you master it.

You need to remind yourself that you are in control--the more you feel it, the more you will be. With some practice you *will* get back in the swing of things.

[4forme]

ok, take a break and stop for a second. Don't let yourself get in a panic.
Just take a minute to remember that you are a capable and strong person.

Now, look at the raw challenges you are having. How can you set yourself up for success. Maybe right now, before you change your diet you need to take a little time to set up the environment. Do you have too much stress going on at the moment and need to set aside a few minutes for prayer/meditation/reflection?

You need to remind yourself that you are in control--the more you feel it, the more you will be.

Thanks! There are a few things you said that are really key! I do have a lot of stress in life at the moment. I just moved internationally in Decmber and have a huge house that i take care of now, along with 4 children to homeschool. Not to mention we may possibly be moving again in a few months, all this while dh is traveling!
Man, this would stress anyone out!
Not to mention I cannot find a good Dr who can help out with my thyroid meds so am super stressed i will be without and again gain another 15 lbs and be exhausted.

Deep breath!

The other key thing you mentioed is there are some things I can do in my enironement to set up for success. I have a new dehydrator and juicer, but remain in the box due to lack of time. I NEED to get these things out of the box and make some recipes. If there is something yummy that i can do QUICKLY or make ahead of time, this will be a recipe for success. Without a plan i fail, period.

I was/am starting to panic and feel out of control, but stepping back and realizing, having someone grab ahold of me and say "wait a minute, deep breathe!", that's helpful.

I am off to finish homeschool, and then, instead of cleaning everything up, I am going to get my juicer and dehydrators out and make a place for them on the counter. Tonight I will make a fav. recipe to have for myself in the AM.
GS's are easy for me as i love them. But, being allergic to bananas, that's just a bummer!

My food intolerances soemtimes get the best of me too. Bananas, flax seeds, chia seeds, hemp, all things that make amazing crakcers/breads. Beans are difficult too.

Deep breath. I have a plan!

Thanks. Will hopefully have pomething good to report in the morning!

[contessa20]

A fast is very restricting, but sometimes, when you have an unhealthy relationship with food, just being raw isn't strict enough. Does that make sense?

It totally makes sense and I 100% agree with that statement. It sounds like you know what your body wants to do, it's just the actual doing it. Unfortunately, that's something that only you can control. :::hugs:::

Spend as much time here as you can spare, set up a blog, post a LOT. That will help to motivate you and help you feel connected to the Raw Vegan community as you start on your journey.

If you don't mind me asking, where are you located? Maybe someone here lives close by and then you would have a raw friend "in real life."

[appifanie]

i find the most important thing for me is to start the day raw. usually a smoothie but today i made a muesli.

also, for the most part, i try not to buy un-raw food that interests me. i do have some un-raw food in the house cause my toddler isn't raw and i'm not full raw yet.

[mattshor]

Thanks! There are a few things you said that are really key! I do have a lot of stress in life at the moment. I just moved internationally in Decmber and have a huge house that i take care of now, along with 4 children to homeschool. Not to mention we may possibly be moving again in a few months, all this while dh is traveling!
Man, this would stress anyone out!
Not to mention I cannot find a good Dr who can help out with my thyroid meds so am super stressed i will be without and again gain another 15 lbs and be exhausted.

Deep breath!

The other key thing you mentioed is there are some things I can do in my enironement to set up for success. I have a new dehydrator and juicer, but remain in the box due to lack of time. I NEED to get these things out of the box and make some recipes. If there is something yummy that i can do QUICKLY or make ahead of time, this will be a recipe for success. Without a plan i fail, period.

I was/am starting to panic and feel out of control, but stepping back and realizing, having someone grab ahold of me and say "wait a minute, deep breathe!", that's helpful.

I am off to finish homeschool, and then, instead of cleaning everything up, I am going to get my juicer and dehydrators out and make a place for them on the counter. Tonight I will make a fav. recipe to have for myself in the AM.
GS's are easy for me as i love them. But, being allergic to bananas, that's just a bummer!

My food intolerances soemtimes get the best of me too. Bananas, flax seeds, chia seeds, hemp, all things that make amazing crakcers/breads. Beans are difficult too.

Deep breath. I have a plan!

Thanks. Will hopefully have pomething good to report in the morning!

Glad to hear it! I just moved from Israel to Boston in Oct. it was so much change in my life that even though I was really excited to do a raw month right when I got home, it was just too much for me. Y. and I were pretty committed to daily GS and I kept just playing with the dehydrator from time to time. Then, when Feb came around and I was suddenly ready (having a job really helped!) things started really falling into place.

Be patient. Remember it isn't about being perfect, it's about improving.

[4forme]

Off topic........

OHMIGOODNESS, DID YOU JUST SAY YOU MOVED FROM ISRAEL?????

I am in the middle of a possible move TO Israel! Where did you live? How long did you stay? What were you there for?
Can I PM you and about your experience there??

Back on topic............

I have eaten tons of unraw stuff today, but am actually prepared for tomorrow. Mentally and physically. I have nuts dehydrating (after being soaked) in my newly set up dehydrator! I have frozen fruit and greens for a smoothie in the morn.
I plan on spending time with The Lord in the morning to get my anxieties out. I am planning for a good day tomorrow.
You guys have been great and super supportive, thanks!!!

[RawSweetie]

Hi 4forme :)

I think other posters have said some great things. I just want to send you some encouragement and good vibes. Please don't beat yourself up! It's just unproductive and time-wasting....not to mention painful...

I'm currently back to high raw--winding down on day 3--after a few months long TOTAL deviation from the raw lifestyle. I, too, have been under extreme stress, and I am a city person living in a small-town in Maine, which has turned out to be a VERY poor fit for me in many ways. I've been struggling with the various challenges of being here and have been using my old SAD comfort foods to numb out, and to stave off boredom. The result is the usual aches and pains, bad skin, and about a 15 lb weight gain. I started researching raw foods and adopting that way of life a little over a year ago. I've been high raw, 1/2 raw, not at all raw, totally raw for varying periods of time. It's been important to me to remember that, even during the off-raw times, I NEVER let go of my raw dream. I have food addictions and, although I've been sober from drugs and alcohol for 21 years, I am blown away by the power of my addictions to processed flour, sugar, even dairy, which I am opposed to eating for ethical as well as health reasons....

Anyway, before this post gets waaay too long, can you give the kiddies a 1/2 day off, so that you can get your raw food/appliance ducks in a row? Sorry if that sounds deviant, I don't have kids!

Keep on keepin' on. ;)

[4forme]

Hi 4forme :)

I think other posters have said some great things. I just want to send you some encouragement and good vibes. Please don't beat yourself up! It's just unproductive and time-wasting....not to mention painful...

I'm currently back to high raw--winding down on day 3--after a few months long TOTAL deviation from the raw lifestyle. I, too, have been under extreme stress, and I am a city person living in a small-town in Maine, which has turned out to be a VERY poor fit for me in many ways. I've been struggling with the various challenges of being here and have been using my old SAD comfort foods to numb out, and to stave off boredom. The result is the usual aches and pains, bad skin, and about a 15 lb weight gain. I started researching raw foods and adopting that way of life a little over a year ago. I've been high raw, 1/2 raw, not at all raw, totally raw for varying periods of time. It's been important to me to remember that, even during the off-raw times, I NEVER let go of my raw dream. I have food addictions and, although I've been sober from drugs and alcohol for 21 years, I am blown away by the power of my addictions to processed flour, sugar, even dairy, which I am opposed to eating for ethical as well as health reasons....

Anyway, before this post gets waaay too long, can you give the kiddies a 1/2 day off, so that you can get your raw food/appliance ducks in a row? Sorry if that sounds deviant, I don't have kids!

Keep on keepin' on. ;)

I relate to this in many ways. Just moving from a big city in Asia, which wasn't a good fit for me at all! I am a country girl in major ways, being in a big city found me hibernating in my home for long periods of time and becoming depressed. Not to mention all my medical problems on top of that.
Now I am in the country doing what I love, being a homemaker and home teaching my kiddos. But the overwhelming nature of it all (after being whithout any of it for 5 yrs) and on top of all the other stressors previously mentioned.

The kiddos did have a 1/2 day (which, btw, isn't that uncommon since we can double up very easily the next day) and I was able to set some things up, but mostly just be here and get re-aquainted with the raw community and all in entails.
I feel encouraged and ready to take on the mentality once again. I too have been anywhere from little to high raw to 100% within these 2 yrs. I feel a failure if I am not high raw, but that mentality is failure in itself at least in my life. Noone can be perfect so it's not attainable. Doing the best I can is pefect for me. That's what i aim to do from here out.

[gritsnla]

Homeschooling and raw, what a great opportunity. Grow your own veggies (in the spring, of course). I'm sure there's some science and math in the un-cooking, juicing, dehydrating, sprouting. They should enjoy that! Good luck! And be sure to always schedule that "me" time!

[kiropa]

give yourself one week. set a goal -- whether it be 100% raw, 50% raw or juice feast and commit to it. See it through, persevere -- you can do it!!!!

i say this because a month ago i could have written your post and now i feel like a new woman. in fact, after just a few days i had a whole new perspective -- i really did.

my story is that i was sad for a while and reverted to cooked/porcessed food for comfort. in that time, i reached a weight that i had not weighed in years. i was miserable. i continued to exercise, but my weight would not budge. i felt uncomfortable in my skin.

when i was finally ready (after several faslse starts), i embarked on a liquid fast. it ended up lasting 22 days and in that time i lost close to 20 pounds. More importantly, i regained control and perspective.

i know fasting can seem extreme, but it works for me. it is hard for periods of time, but easy in that there is no thinking, prepping etc. with regard to food and the results are motivating.

i don't homeschool, but i have three kids ages 8 and younger and i work FT outside the home. fasting can be freeing in that it gives you back a lot of time and mental energy spent thinking about food and berating choices etc.

there really is no point in making yourself feel bad. but, i know, it is a vicious cycle that is difficult to break. like i suggested, make a goal and stick to it. for me, a week was what i needed to feel in control. but honestly, after 4 days my brain started to change.

you can do it and in just a few days you will feel so happy, i promise!

[janetc]

A agree with the previous posters. Be positive about this. If you want it to be, it will...

Hang out here. Ask questions. Read. Learn. Listen. Live.

RAW baby!!!!

You probably don't know this, VFL, but your postings have given me so much hope. I too have fallen off the wagon quite a few times. It is so nice to know that it happens to other people as well.

Keep on posting your experiences. I really do like reading them.

[mattshor]

slightly OT
poster, I sent you a message on your profile, would be happy to talk to you about Israel (esp. raw there!) just shoot me a message and we'll talk!