Searching for a Cure/ Redemption

[born_again]

I've struggled most of my life with food and eating issues and have suffered an eating disorder (mostly anorexia, but also bulimia) since age 15. Within a year, I was also self-harming and suicidally depressed. I am now nearly 19 years old and have realised that I have wasted over 3 years of my life being suicidal. I have attempted countless times and recently ended up in ER because of it. I take the fact that I am still here after several dozen attempts that I am meant to live. In the meantime, these feelings did not serve me and went on to ruin a lot of my life, particlarly in my relationships (friends, family and significant other) among other things.

In my desperation I have tried therapy with a few different therapists as trail and error and each one made me feel worse. I also tried anti-depressant medication and had a negative reaction on both occastions. I am now at the point where I suffer eating issues(starving, purging, binging), very severe depression and consistent suicidal thoughts, insomnia, very very low concentration (my old bosses were on the verge of firing me because they just thought I couldn't do anything right. I quit before they had the chance.), panick attacks and even a bit of paranoia.

For me, the raw food diet is my last shot. I'll end up in the psych ward before my teenage years are out otherwise. I need this work and I need support. Come on, who is with me on this?!

[spicyfull]

I wish you everything you need to Stay RAW..........Welcome to MY World.

[Frugal Raw]

Welcome!!! I wish you the best of rawesome health!!!!

[czpinky]

Welcome to raw food! the raw food diet has helped me alot with my own disordered eating and many other things. also, have you ever considered trying yoga? i have been practicing yoga for three years and i absolutely know that it was my true savior from my own depression. i also saw a therapist for about a year on and off. well, i wish you the best of luck! much love and peace :)

[michigan roman]

- imo raw foodism is your exact / correct move

- your only 19 , SLOW DOWN / DEEP BREATHING EXERCISES EVERYDAY TO CALM , youve got decades to figure this out

- turn off tv , thatll scramble your mind and leave your nerves shot if anything

- running is great to clear mind / relax , some type regular exercise is needed by everyone

- de-srtessing methods like mentioned yoga are needed . maybe also acupunture sessions and massages if can afford . maybe acupuncture for increasing cerebral blood flow

- go to www.mountainroseherbs.com and get some gingko biloba herb to increase circulation to the brain . though that could be unsettling to gut so maybe not

- B VITAMINS are big in depression / nervous system function . find raw foods rich in them

- almond milk smoothies with sweet fruits like bananas and berries are gut calming for me

- with the tv turn off radio , another mind scrambling rattle trap in modern society . theres so many distractions around us today i think it fries alot of peoples nerves and that theyd way better off more naturally living in open country working outdoors close to nature . and living very simply with only a computer to learn with

- ive confered with alot of women (thats if your a women :D) past 4 years on raw forums with probs just like yours , and besides the raw diet its seems relaxation techniques help . things like setting up your own little havens such as say hot herbal baths with incense burning and calming music . and meditation techniques

- the omega 3's in flax seed are good for brain , buy whole and grind in blender to add to things

- theres some wonderful women here thatll come up with alot of great advice so keep hanging out

- on all my advice im not the smartest or medically trained , so dont take me as an saying im an expert . i just read on my own

- without alot raw foods in your diet youve been starving your cells including nervous system making it / you frail . just like a plant living in sand is starving from poor soil , your food is like a plants soil . and rich top soil to you is nutricious raw plants


- i wish my current body was only 19 and all i had to figure out were low appetite / depression / mental clarity issues , its not a big deal for someone that young whose soul is burning very brightly with energy to barge out of this little rut . and your main need is raw plant foods to energize your blood / cells

- SLOW DOWN / DEEP BREATHING EXERCISES / YOUVE GOT DECADES

[HolyGuacamole]

What they ^ said.
I have struggled with some of the same stuff in my own way, and in fact am still grappling with some of my issues at age 38, so I can empathize and I applaud you for taking action now.

You're giving yourself a huge gift by changing your way of eating. It will help. It will.

I want to reiterate what others have said, that you need to decide to take charge of this situation with radical self care. Meditation, yoga, exercise, fresh air, sunshine, time in nature, time connecting to the earth (literally, physically, with your unshod feet or body contacting the ground) - these are all things that contribute to feeling good, some of them critical to it, and most of them are completely absent from modern Western life.

You are leagues ahead of most people by taking this step.

You will NOT be in a psych ward at 19. Let that be the last time you say, write, or even think anything like that.
You are beautiful, you are filled with light and love, as we all are. You're just disconnected from it. Now you can take steps to reconnect. Decide right now that you deserve it, that nothing that makes you feel good and contributes to your health is a luxury, that taking care of you is job #1.
You're on your way.

Welcome.

[Dimond]

Welcome Born_again. I have some info that may help you, if you want to email me. Wish you luck with raw. You'll find plenty of support on here. :)

[rawmiss]

Welcome :) :p :)

I know the raw food diet will help you because it helped me. I think my brain functions a lot better on raw, I don't do well with raw caco though, it makes me irritable.

[Patch]

Hi Born again, welcome, raw food will help I'm sure. Your whole outlook changes, well it did for me anyway I look at things differently.
Don't know if you have ever heard of Thetahealing but I know that has worked for some people. If you have a practitioner in your area have a talk to them. I'm from New Zealand and have just become a practitioner over here but I'm sure there are lots near you. All the best in your journey.

[freshlight]

Welcome :) Raw will definitely help you. Have fun and get well soon. You can do it!
Eva

[jacsam]

Wishing you the best in finding all the answers your needing. Welcome !!!

[born_again]

Thank you so much to each and every one who posted. Your responses are really appreciated. I'm going to start a progress journal in the blogging section and you're all most welcome to read and comment ( and hopefully cheer me on!:))

Peace, Love and Happiness to you all.:)

[Fruit_of_life]

Welcome, born_again. I'm new to the boards and fairly new to raw foods, but I've come here for many of the same reasons you have. I too have sacraficed too many years (ok, almost a decade) to bulimia and depression.

It's time we start living, no?

Anyway, I just wanted to send hugs and positive thoughts your way. Have faith in yourself, you can do this. If you need anything, or just want to talk, I'm here.

Best of luck, happiness, and health to you!