Azaria
01-28-2009, 09:45 PM
1. Do not assume that if you do the tea and SWF together, it will be more efficient and therefor quicker. Efficient, yes. Quicker, not neccesarily.
2. Do not do this at 5:30am while itching to get to your walk at the beach by 7 before it gets too hot. This is rushing things and is never a good idea when the colon is involved.
3. Do make sure you are through with butt pee, or anything else that may be happening, before you leave the vicinity of the toilets.
4. Do make sure your pelvic floor muscles are in tip top shape if you make it 30 minutes down the beach in the opposite direction of the toilets. If your pelvic floor wasn't toned to begin with, it will be by now.
5. AVOID HILLS. For the love of God, avoid hills.
6. Once home and supposedly safe, do feel free to drink a hot cup of herbal tea. Breath a sigh of relief that you can now release and eliminate at will, which is happening at a rate of about 1 every 15 minutes.
7. After showering, feel free to dress comfortably. However, make sure that the zipper of your comfy pair of pants actually WORKS. Being stuck in your pants will be worse than the beach walk, especially as your mind has already told the body it can let go, finally. The toilet is right there, it is r.i.g.h.t. t.h.e.r.e......
8. Once you wisely decide to change to elastic waistband, do realise that there is slight chance that while your lovely treehouse home is usually completely private, every once in awhile someone will have to come to trim the trees. And since the universe has a wicked sense of humour, this tree-trimmer (who is of course dashingly hot) will inevitably be right outside your bathroom window, which, of course, has no blinds.
I shudder to think of the damages to my insides after all this drama!!! :D:D
2. Do not do this at 5:30am while itching to get to your walk at the beach by 7 before it gets too hot. This is rushing things and is never a good idea when the colon is involved.
3. Do make sure you are through with butt pee, or anything else that may be happening, before you leave the vicinity of the toilets.
4. Do make sure your pelvic floor muscles are in tip top shape if you make it 30 minutes down the beach in the opposite direction of the toilets. If your pelvic floor wasn't toned to begin with, it will be by now.
5. AVOID HILLS. For the love of God, avoid hills.
6. Once home and supposedly safe, do feel free to drink a hot cup of herbal tea. Breath a sigh of relief that you can now release and eliminate at will, which is happening at a rate of about 1 every 15 minutes.
7. After showering, feel free to dress comfortably. However, make sure that the zipper of your comfy pair of pants actually WORKS. Being stuck in your pants will be worse than the beach walk, especially as your mind has already told the body it can let go, finally. The toilet is right there, it is r.i.g.h.t. t.h.e.r.e......
8. Once you wisely decide to change to elastic waistband, do realise that there is slight chance that while your lovely treehouse home is usually completely private, every once in awhile someone will have to come to trim the trees. And since the universe has a wicked sense of humour, this tree-trimmer (who is of course dashingly hot) will inevitably be right outside your bathroom window, which, of course, has no blinds.
I shudder to think of the damages to my insides after all this drama!!! :D:D