How to convince your toddler to stay raw? [Archive]

Anais

01-20-2009, 01:46 AM

Our daughter has been 100% raw since birth, and is thriving. She recently turned 3, and also switched from daycare to preschool. That means not only 3 other babies eating cooked food, but 20 other toddlers eating cooked food. Our daughter got very interested in cooked food. She has always shown interest, but we committed the innocent "mistake" of telling her that once she was big she could eat cooked. Now, since they use that "you are a big girl now"-thing at preschool, she has decided she is big and asked for cooked food. I have given in some times in the last weeks at other people's houses, and last weekend we even went to Wholefoods, and she had vegan pizza with her dad (who is still eating cooked once in a while at home). The results were always that she didn't want to eat fruit at all for some days, and only went back to it after starving for some time.

So how do you deal with that "I don't want to be different from anybody else"-feeling of your toddler and the emotional suffering that comes from being so different? Any advise? I would hate to give in, but I'm more heartbroken at seeing her suffer so much. After all the cooked food at Whole Foods, the next day she had a nasty cough so I told her that was from the cooked food. I could see how that hurt her, but she told me she would not eat cooked again, she did that to please me. She keeps being very picky about food, and only eats 1-2 disches, so I think it will probably be much easier for us to get some nutrition into her on a cooked vegan, than on raw vegan, if she keeps refusing to eat the variety I am offering.

Any advise would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Anais

spicyfull

01-20-2009, 04:04 AM

Don't you wish you could keep them in a Bubble. She has entered The New World with all of its exciting discoveries, Good and Bad. I have NO Magic advice for you except, its got to get Better. Pray for Wisdom. Someone will drop by and give you the advice you are seeking.....Welcome to the Forum.

twinyoga

01-20-2009, 08:28 AM

I just try to incorporate as much raw when they are home as possible. We make smoothie "time" fun and I take them to the grocery store to pick out the fruits and veggies of the week. I always have some of my raw food for them to try out. But I think this is inevitable.

I recall there is something in Raw Food Detox Diet about raising your kids with raw foods and how to help them make the best choices that are available.

FYI, there was a time when my daughter would it ice cream and have a terrible stomach ache afterward. So, after a couple times of this when she asked for ice cream again, I reminded her it gives her a tummy ache. She said, oh yeah I remember that, let's get something else.

good luck

Revvell

01-20-2009, 08:34 AM

This is quite interesting to me and when I read the title I asked myself ~ who is in charge here? a 3-year old or the mother? Then I read the copy below so, here are my thoughts...

I have given in some times in the last weeks at other people's houses, and last weekend we even went to Wholefoods, and she had vegan pizza with her dad (who is still eating cooked once in a while at home). The results were always that she didn't want to eat fruit at all for some days, and only went back to it after starving for some time.

Starving for some time? What does that mean?

So how do you deal with that "I don't want to be different from anybody else"-feeling of your toddler and the emotional suffering that comes from being so different?

How does a 3-year old have "emotional suffering" and see herself as "so different"? It seems to me there's something else going on here that a 3-year old can have such strong feelings.

For me, if I were in this situation, this child would eat what I eat when we're at home and out by ourselves. When in social situations, I'd bring lots of fruit, smoothies, raw cakes, pies, cookies and let everyone choose. I'll bet many of the children would choose grapes, baby carrots, celery and the like over cooked food and your daughter would see a whole different attitude. Naturally children LOVE fruit ~ they love the colors, the juiciness... grapes fit so well in their hands...

Any advice? I would hate to give in, but I'm more heartbroken at seeing her suffer so much.

Suffering is of one's own making. She's manipulating you.

After all the cooked food at Whole Foods, the next day she had a nasty cough so I told her that was from the cooked food. I could see how that hurt her...

You've got to teach her responsibility for her health. It's YOUR job as her mother. (I feel like yelling "C'MON! She's 3!!!)

When I was a kid and most other kids were drinking Kool-Aid and going to MacDonald's for soda and such, we didn't get that. Did I like it? no. So what? Now, I appreciate it. I learned health practices from my mother. Did I like it? No! Not until I was 27, feeling poorly and realizing what my mother was teaching me was autonomy, resiliency, life skills. That's what mothers do.

I'm sure someone else has been through something similar and can give better advice.

Revvell (http://LetsTalkRaw.com)

MelanieM

01-20-2009, 09:18 AM

I empathize with you greatly! We do not have a raw household and even with reasonable (by most standards) dietary habits, there's still a fair amount of non-food foods that end up in our home. And while my son (3.5) will happily munch on healthy snacks, my daughter (6) wants no part of just about any fruit or vegetable. She has always been like this, and it's a bit of a struggle for me. And we homeschool, so this has nothing to do with outside influences in group care settings!

I absolutely refuse to force anything on a child, or anyone else, as it is more important for me that my kids learn that they are ultimately in control of their bodies than it is to have them eat veggies. If I override their choices now, they'll simply grow up and have to learn how to make choices for themselves later! Better, in my opinion, to help encourage them to make the best choice available to them, and communicate about natural consequences when they come up. It sounds like you're doing that for your daughter, and perhaps that's the very best you could ever do for her!

At 3 yrs, she might have a hard time remembering the consequences from eating something three days ago, and how that will apply to how she will feel if she eats it again today. But I think that will change as her awareness grows, and if you can keep supporting her in that and helping her put words to her feelings, I bet it will go a long way to helping her make positive choices in food, and all other areas.

Obviously, I'm not saying load your house up on junk foods and let her have at it! But if you continue to have healthful choices at home, and with her when out, then the majority of her choices will continue to be good ones. And for the times that she chooses other, then those are opportunities for learning. Perhaps when she figures out that these aren't off limits 'big kid treats' she'll get over wanting to have them.

I also think that my biggest enemy in all of this is my own sense of worry! I can so easily get caught up in concern over what my children are eating, or not eating, and put myself into a bit of a tailspin. But really, the best I can do for them (or anyone) is holding a vision of wellness. When I can remind myself of this, things flow much more smoothly for all of us.

I'll bet many of the children would choose grapes, baby carrots, celery and the like over cooked food and your daughter would see a whole different attitude. Naturally children LOVE fruit ~ they love the colors, the juiciness... grapes fit so well in their hands...

I often wish this was true for my daughter! lol! (And there I go back into worry. Ha!)

Anais

01-21-2009, 01:49 PM

Thanks for all the nice comments. I agree with all of you, and feel much more encouraged now.

Revvell, when I first read your comment I felt very offended. I know that I am in charge, and I know that there will be many more decisions I will have to make that will be uncomfortable. By feeding her raw for the last 3 years, I already chose to not go the easiest way, believe me. I gave it some more thoughts. I think you are right, but you don't know all the facts... impossible on a forum, I know. Anyway, I talked to her preschool teacher this morning, and she told me that my daughter is crawling on the floor after lunch and eating the crumbles she can find on the floor. Of course, they tell her not to do it, blabla.... But that is what I mean by emotional suffering, not sure if I got the right word. She is surrounded by 20+ other toddlers that all eat pretty "normal" cooked stuff, one is vegetarian, no vegans. So she feels weird. I don't want her to feel weird. I was the weirdo all the time at school, because of my parents' life choices (long story), and I don't want her to go through that.

But the most important part: I don't want her to lie to me! I want her to stay connected with me and have her tell me if she wants to eat cooked and than eat it in front of me. That way I know what she is up to, and know that I can still make the best choices possible (e.g. vegan).

There is more behind it in our story. Her dad is not 100% raw, and even though he is not eating cooked at home anymore, he sneaks away to eat on other food, and I'm convinced she gets that. When I was 15 I started smoking. My mom never prohibited me to do it, partly because she was smoking at the time. So it's all about good examples, but it's also about trust. I was never able to lie to my mom, never. And I never had to.

Right now, I'm not sure what is more important to me. A good friend of mine is raw. Her daughter was vegan most of her childhood, and she is now 12 and started eating raw. But that was her own choice, after seeing her mom thriving on it. Would she have forced it on her, I bet she would be eating McDonalds and CocaCola right after moving out of the house.

You ask how does a 3-year old have "emotional suffering" and see herself as "so different"? A 3-year old raw kid has pretty strong emotional stuff going on, believe me. I was never able to numb her feelings by just giving her comfort food, remember? She is different from all other kids I know, and that is good. Right now, she is sad with her lifestyle, and I am not able to accommodate her.

Oh, and we had that situations that there was lots of raw fruit and veggies. But there was also pizza. Believe me, not one of the kids ate anything raw at that party! One of the little guys had 5 slices of pizza! These are the moments when I feel very sad for other people's choices. Of course, you ask, how can they even order (yes order, it wasn't even homemade) pizza for a 3-year-old birthday party? How sad, right? You know why? Because all parents know that pizza and pasta is the stuff their kids eat. So in order for them to be able to feed their kids, they buy stuff the kids like. I think that is manipulating, and everybody else does it.

Oh, and the McDonald example you gave: Did you never sneak away? Did you never lie to your mother?

Revvell

01-21-2009, 02:06 PM

Oh, and the McDonald example you gave: Did you never sneak away? Did you never lie to your mother?

Yeah, I was 16, not 3.

RawKnitster

01-21-2009, 02:19 PM

Slightly off topic but I can't help it. Love this conversation!

It's a struggle to get kids to eat healthy no matter what parents consider "right". When my daughter was three her diet was loaded with fresh steamed vegetables (I wasn't raw then). Now she is 15 and has no use for vegetables. I've almost given up. Maybe I should, she is rebelling against my choices for her now, the only other choices are bad ones.

One thing I noticed about 2 of my daughter's friends whose parents don't allow junk food or sugar at home, these are the girls that binge eat away from home. And I mean binge.

Anais

01-21-2009, 02:22 PM

I know. That's what I mean. And I bet, their parents don't know about it! I wouldn't want my daughter to sneak away without telling me, even at 16.

JennaBoBenna

01-21-2009, 04:04 PM

It's a struggle to get kids to eat healthy no matter what parents consider "right". When my daughter was three her diet was loaded with fresh steamed vegetables (I wasn't raw then). Now she is 15 and has no use for vegetables. I've almost given up. Maybe I should, she is rebelling against my choices for her now, the only other choices are bad ones.

One thing I noticed about 2 of my daughter's friends whose parents don't allow junk food or sugar at home, these are the girls that binge eat away from home. And I mean binge.

I think no matter how you raise your kids, they'll want to do something different eventually anyway. (Heck, even Raven from The Garden Diet wanted to eat cooked for a while! But she did go back to raw pretty much immediately)
I was raised on sugar cereal, cinnamon sugar on white breads, McD's and nameless others. In high school, I ate boxes of processed snacks, ate greasy buffet Chinese food once a week at least, walked across the street to the fast food joints (funny, i typed 'fat' instead of 'fast' at first..) and ate boxes of candy a day! It wasn't until I was 17 years old that I saw the 5-A-Day campaign and wanted a change. Two months later, I watched a film and became vegan immediately.
If you feed them healthy, they will want to branch off into fast food(seeing the experiences in this thread)
If you don't feed them healthy, they'll eat that garbage anyway!

The difference? The kids raised healthy will still have those properties stuck in their heads from being raised that way. Kids without it, ie. little JennaBoBenna, don't have any idea how to be healthy and are stuck being overweight/sick until they figure it out for themselves.

juuust my two cents :)

RawKnitster

01-21-2009, 04:07 PM

Your 2 cents is priceless. :)

Revvell

01-21-2009, 04:23 PM

As did I from the time I had money at 13 until I was 27 and realized what my mother taught me made a difference. If she hadn't done that, I wouldn't be doing what I am today.

There's a point when you've got to let go though and let them find out for themselves yet, if you don't stick with it when they're young, set the boundaries, set the guidelines in your own home, then they see you as a hypocrite.

A parent has to parent to the best of their abilities. Kids have enough "friends".

What one "wants" from their children and what they get are often two different things.

Slightly off topic but I can't help it. Love this conversation!

It's a struggle to get kids to eat healthy no matter what parents consider "right". When my daughter was three her diet was loaded with fresh steamed vegetables (I wasn't raw then). Now she is 15 and has no use for vegetables. I've almost given up. Maybe I should, she is rebelling against my choices for her now, the only other choices are bad ones.

One thing I noticed about 2 of my daughter's friends whose parents don't allow junk food or sugar at home, these are the girls that binge eat away from home. And I mean binge.

RawKnitster

01-21-2009, 05:26 PM

Thanks for the wisdom, Revvell. Interesting choice of words, "What one wants from their children", rather than what one wants for their children. Your phrase is probably more honest.

adiebabe

01-22-2009, 11:03 AM

In my 20's I was schooled to be a childhood educator, though I chose not to make that my career in the end, there are several things I have taken from that education and the time I did work in the field. This is an interesting study I came across in school and from what you've seen with your daughter, shouldn't surprise you.

A study was done on children and the influence of their peers on food choices; Two groups were formed, children who liked corn but hated peas, then a second group in which the children liked peas but not corn. The researchers took one child from each group and placed them in the opposite group. It was only a matter of days until the children's preferences switched to match the group.

Frustrating as a parent, I know...at least you know that's the 'norm' for all young children! I understand your frustration though...I am in a similar situation with my own child and his father (his dad is a typical SAD eater & non-active person).

I make sure I discuss nutrition and it's benefits with my child and when he's at home with me, he eats the same diet as I do, with some exceptions. He will have to figure it out for himself to some extent though....as long as I provide him with a sound, nutritional base and he understands why one choice is better than the other and he eats as healthy as possible, as much as possible...he will make better choices than his peers. Whether now or later when he's a little older. I've seen it already and he's just 7.

freshlight

01-22-2009, 11:17 AM

I'd keep offering as many yummy-looking raw things as possible but in the meantime I'd also try to find the "most-healthy" cooked alternatives to what she wants to try. It is possible.
And when she sees that you don't force her to eat healthy stuff she might get more interested in it.

edited:

oops: just noticed that she's 3. I thought she's much older......didn't read the title properly.

You can be much more convincing than you think you are :)

Don't worry,-just keep up the raw work and be an example. It's easy.

RaisingAlex

01-22-2009, 11:24 AM

My three year old, Alex has been raw his whole life. He is around cooked food when we go to my parents, and they often suggest to him or try to tempt him into eating "their" foods. Alex already knows better, he knows how his food is soppose to taste. He will not eat anything that tastes bad, so I can't imagine any child wanting to eat cooked food that does not know it or has not had it since birth.

Alex uses the word NO when he needs to and tells gramma that her food tsates bad, he just refuses it. He does not like it. He will go into her cooler and get a apple, or a carrot, or whatever she has that he likes that is raw.

Its all in the training, I guess.

freshlight

01-22-2009, 02:06 PM

beckx

01-22-2009, 02:43 PM

i would just make her food special... cut specially, named specially, made together out of things she chooses... maybe learning about different raw foods together, or planting a garden.

if she's really feeling isolated, maybe reading books/websites about raw families together would help? or alex's blog? (link in melissa's signature) to be able to say, "look at these big strong kids

MelanieM

01-22-2009, 03:05 PM

I think some people don't understand that there are very young children that express extreme interests of their own, and that any form of manipulation just isn't going to work. (Assuming you're inclined toward manipulation even being an option.) I think it's perhaps impossible to understand this, unless you've parenting a child like that yourself. Spoken as someone that was once stuck in the house for 10 days because her 18 month old refused to put on pants. And no, there was absolutely anything I could do about it to convince him otherwise, and I tried most everything humanly (or humanely) possible.

So to the OP... it sounds like you are very respectful of your daughter's wishes, which IMO is the most wonderful gift you could give her. Keep doing what you're doing - offering her healthful choices and being open to listening to what she has to say - and you can't go wrong.

HolyGuacamole

01-22-2009, 03:25 PM

A study was done on children and the influence of their peers on food choices; Two groups were formed, children who liked corn but hated peas, then a second group in which the children liked peas but not corn. The researchers took one child from each group and placed them in the opposite group. It was only a matter of days until the children's preferences switched to match the group.

Too true.
My son who is 3 and 99% raw asks for kale, salads, and green smoothies to eat, wants carrot/apple/spinach juice in the morning, etc., and is generally a really healthy kid who eats great stuff.
This morning we were checking out a local Waldorf school and at snack time, they offered the kids carrot sticks and organic cheddar cheese crackers. EVERY kid there ate the crackers and ignored the carrot sticks, including mine.
I wished they'd just not offered the crackers at all, but they did, and given the choice, every kid there went for the crackers.
And I promise you if he were offered pizza or an apple (apples being something he asks for all the time), particularly if it was what everyone else was eating, he would darn well choose the pizza.

I think you should offer healthy raw foods whenever possible and pack them for your child to take with her if that's a part of her day, expect your child to eat as you do at home (I wouldn't even give non-raw options) and tell the child you trust them to make good decisions about what to eat when you're not there. You control what you can for the good of your child, and as for what you can't control, don't worry about it. You're setting an amazing example for your child by eating raw. She's learning from it. That's good enough. Really. *hugs*

HolyGuacamole

01-22-2009, 03:28 PM

Keep doing what you're doing - offering her healthful choices and being open to listening to what she has to say - and you can't go wrong.

Exactly. :)

Aleesha Sattva

01-22-2009, 04:13 PM

well i don't believe in forcing children, no matter what the age - to do anything.

i can only speak for my own life here cause honestly every single child is different but i remember when my eldest went to preschool (she was only one who went)... she changed a LOT. suddenly i was no longer the wisest person in her life. everything was "ms. smith says to do it this way" and "ms. smith says to blahblahblah"

it's an added bonus of homeschooling, that you don't need to deal with this kind of peer pressure and teacher influenced behaviour. they soooo mirror their first teachers.

anyway, i would only offer raw at home and whenever she is with you outside the home like a restaurant... and allow her to make her own choices when she is out on her own like preschool. when she eats cooked and has a cough or mucus etc... be sure to continue pointing out to her that yes, it's the cooked food that does this.

let's face it, she may be 3 but she's very intelligent. she WILL make the choice that is right for HER. it's your job to guide her in the right direction, offering the best choices you can... and standing beside her while she learns her own lessons. we don't learn their lessons for them... we are simply along for the ride!

Zella Juice

01-22-2009, 05:01 PM

All we have is raw foods in the house..so that's what is available to him. We changed the way we ate and he eats that way and that's just how we are. He is 9 now. It has been 2 years since we switched. We have gone through the sneaking of cooked food. I know right away when he sneaks it. He gets a cough and I can hear him up all night coughing and sniffling. Finally one day I was like "did you eat cooked food?" and he said yes...he ate a doughnut. He is starting to realize that while it might taste good at the time..It makes him feel yukky for days and it's not worth it. I think kids go through the same revelations as we do when we go back and fourth from raw. And finally end up choosing raw if we stick with it..and drink those green smoothies.

We went out to indian food and I let him have some vegan rice and entree. I made sure he had only a little bit cause he will eat too much and feel too full. He was so excited that he was going to have cooked. He was jumping up and down. After he said it was good but he wouldn't want to eat like that all the time. He was fine going back to his raw foods and even ate an apple when he got home. Which I was happy about cause it would help digest that stuff.

For him, I had to force this way of eating because he was always sick. This was the only way he would be well. So, it was a really good way for us to keep on track. I am all for forcing a 3 year old to do what you want them to do. You are the parent. And when you get reports that they are eating crumbs off the floor you take them aside and say.."Stop, eating crumbs off the floor, or a toy will get taken away"..they are smart..they can handle it. I did feel bad forcing my son to eat this way in the beginning...but it just motivated me to find the best recipes that he would love. Now we try and mimmic the cooked foods that he loved. And at halloween..when he collected candy..we went through his bag and tried to come up with a raw version of each piece he had. So, we make it fun and it becomes like a bonding thing between us. I think this works when the whole family is raw and it becomes part of who they are. They will be proud of it and not resist it as much.

It's defintaly a challenge that has the sweetest rewards. A life change that has made us stronger, happier and healthier than we have ever been.

Anais

01-22-2009, 05:40 PM

It's amazing to hear all these different opinions. Thanks to everybody for all the ideas and inputs.

I know raw toddler Alex, he is an amazing little boy. And we talked to Dr. D. about his daughter. I talked to a friend whose daughter was vegan for most of her childhood and now started raw at 12yo. So we really studied that part.

I'm not for forcing my child to eat or taking away toys if she does stuff I don't like. That will just make her lie to me, she already started not telling me the truth, something I never thought would happen. She was not telling me her real feelings because she feared I would be mad at her! She needs to learn how to make her own decisions. I completely agree on the peer pressure thing. I know that she loves her raw food, but doesn't want to feel left out, and I don't blame her. If I feel social pressure sometimes when I go to business luncheons and am having my little salad, telling people I already ate because I don't think it would accepted if I was the weirdo in front of the client, how is she supposed to handle it?

We have decided to give her some cooked vegan. All she asks for is bread, so I will buy or make bread. That will hopefully make her feel better at school, and at home, I keep offering what I eat without forcing it. She is smart, and she will make wise choices.

I will post an update in a couple of days about how that is going!

choleblack

01-22-2009, 09:15 PM

Anais-

Just a quick thought, have you talked with the teacher about the class maybe doing a "unit study" on the colors of fruits & veggies or something along those lines that might get the whole class interested in those types of foods. They could read books, do coloring pages, plant seeds in glass jars & watch the roots grow. Sometimes that's all it takes & getting her class interested in the way you eat at home might help make her time at school easier as well. Of course you could always do those activities at home together as well.

Chole

Aleesha Sattva

01-22-2009, 11:35 PM

I know raw toddler Alex, he is an amazing little boy.

We have decided to give her some cooked vegan. All she asks for is bread, so I will buy or make bread. That will hopefully make her feel better at school, and at home, I keep offering what I eat without forcing it. She is smart, and she will make wise choices.

I will post an update in a couple of days about how that is going!

I agree... Alex is a very amazing little man indeed.

Bread? Really? Wheat is soooo bad for us - of course it is your choice, but perhaps something less harmful would be a better option?

Anais

01-25-2009, 01:53 AM

For anyone who is interested - here is an update: We decided to introduce some vegan cooked food into her diet. Now she got a plate with cooked food and her bowl of fruit/blended fruit/smoothie at school. She also gets crackers for snack time like all the other kids, and canned fruit (yikes, tons of sugar, I know!). I talked to her teacher and she said she had never seen my daughter so happy. For now she has had pasta, rice, bread and crackers. She is only tasting all the new stuff, but eats very little of it. If she is hungry she comes and asks for her raw dishes. No trouble with constipation, I guess since she is eating just very little amounts. After two days, my husband and I realized that her behaviour had drastically changed. She seems to be much more independant, balanced, happy, relaxed and self-confident.

I feel totally reliefed, so I guess we did the right thing:-) It has taken so much burden off my shoulders (my husband is not that much into raw right now). Now, I can even have some cooked stuff once in a while without having to hide. That immediately kills any cravings.

Anais

01-25-2009, 01:57 AM

Oh, and I know how bad bread is, but we didn't have a real option. She had totally idealized bread, she only wanted that exact kind of white bread that everybody else at school is having. She is eating one slice a day, max. I can life with that. Funny thing is that when I was pregnant with her, I kind of lived off that bread (I wasn't eating raw back then). Should be more carefull with the next one when it comes to food choices during pregnancy!

rawma-mama-8

01-25-2009, 05:15 AM

I am a single mom who was mostly raw for 2 years...
strictly raw for the first year...and then slowly got
hooked back onto cooked food...found out I was
pregnant and tried to line up support, job
community so I could raise my child raw
and then I lost the job during my first trimester-
lost my then raw community and ended up
a homeless pregnant woman with no family or support...
a fate I never thought would happen (mostly due to
sex discrimination and lack of genuine and caring friends.)

Now I have established some stability. I moved my
1 year old out of the shelter we were living in about a year ago.
He is now two and I am finally in a financial position to choose
raw. Before, I ate for calories due to lack of money
and having to rely on foodbanks (had to due to anemia and
vitamin b-12 deficiency (common on raw) I am getting
vitamin b-12 injections weekly now so I think I can handle
the transition...wondering if there are recommendations
out there on how to make the transition smoothly for me
and my spirited two year old (who is quite addicted to
carbs and sugars- not the raw kind)

Help - single mom trying to get back to raw~

Thanks for any wise words and support on getting low
cost produce in the inter city during winter.

private messages welcome: dakakeshiva@gmail.com

klomasius

01-25-2009, 07:15 AM

I make sure I discuss nutrition and it's benefits with my child and when he's at home with me, he eats the same diet as I do, with some exceptions. He will have to figure it out for himself to some extent though....as long as I provide him with a sound, nutritional base and he understands why one choice is better than the other and he eats as healthy as possible, as much as possible...he will make better choices than his peers. Whether now or later when he's a little older. I've seen it already and he's just 7.

VERY true, all one can do really is keep talking to their kids about better health choices and WHY these are better and what happens to the body etc.

When parents become too dogmatic and 'this is the way it should be' I believe there is a tendency to link the lesson with the negative reaction the child has (in the same way some people can't eat broccoli or other vegetables because they were forced to eat them as a child).

I know it's hard, bringing up a child is such a complex activity with no hard and fast roadmap.

My advice would be to emphasies the positive, make colourful and tasty raw treats, make them together and get her involved in the kitchen.

Do you know of any other raw tots or kids? This goes a long way to helping children (yes, even 3 year olds), identify and understand that they are not alone and confirm that other kids are leading a similar lifestyle.

If you know of no other kids, maybe check youtube and type in terms like 'raw kids' etc. you might find some great stuff you would watch with her. Show her pics of kids eating raw from this thread section too.

Since my son was about four we have gone through lots of raw photos (in particular the photos only threads of this site, they are great!) and each time he has come across a tasty looking dish we play the 'I wanna make that!' game where he shouts out 'I wanna make that!' and points to it.

Also, I am very keen on getting the Book Evie's Kitchen by Shazzie that has lots of colourful foods (complete with gorgoeus pics) for kids and a lovely picture of her little daughter on the cover.

Seeing a raw food book aimed at kids with a glowing raw little girl on the cover might also help you to emphasise the positive link between raw, fun, health and excitement.

Check out the link below:
http://www.detoxyourworld.com/acatalog/evies_kitchen.html

Don't get too down, kids want to explore new things, that's what they do best! Just keep on emphasising the positives of raw and making lots of tasty foods available in the fridge, freezer and cupboards, keep discussing her health, her body and the food connection and she will have a great basis for healthy eating later in life! :D

p.s. I reckon you've done a FANTASTIC job with her being raw for three years! Go you!