Why would someone like pears??? I was asked this!

[sarahrjm]

I slipped. Pretty BAD, its been 4 days SAD.

I am feeling awful, I have gained a little weight, it is mainly bloat I think... I feel awful in my skin.

It really stinks that I only caved because of my boyfriends family. They are a family of very fat people (I am sorry but it is true). It was either I was going to punch someone, or eat something SAD. I only had 1 bite - then It was all over from there. I couldnt resist. This was at dinner time, and by desert, I was kind of hungry, but didnt want a SAD desert. There were pears, so I sat down with a pear, while everyone got their slice of cheesecake, cookies, and other various deserts.

I got mocked for a FULL half hour, about the fact that I was eating a pear. The pears were given to my boyfriends Aunt, from Harry and David. They were SOO good..

First words out of his aunts mouth "Why would someone give me pears?? des anyone even like pears?" As if they were some weird food that no one has ever heard of.

I said " I LOVE PEARS". I got sneared at, and my boyfriends mom told me I was crazy.

I was so baffled and upset at this point. Its been down hill from there. I am all backed up, bloated, my joints hurt, and I havent had a BM in 3 days.

ICK.

Today has been good so far atleast........Im really scared for the dinner I am going to at my boyfriends friends house tomorrow.......I think I might skip it........I think it is sick that I actually felt bad about the fact that I like fruit? It is just so sick.

I need some support! :(

[notwell]

their loss.

[SheLovesToEat]

I slipped. Pretty BAD, its been 4 days SAD.

I am feeling awful, I have gained a little weight, it is mainly bloat I think... I feel awful in my skin.

It really stinks that I only caved because of my boyfriends family. They are a family of very fat people (I am sorry but it is true). It was either I was going to punch someone, or eat something SAD. I only had 1 bite - then It was all over from there. I couldnt resist. This was at dinner time, and by desert, I was kind of hungry, but didnt want a SAD desert. There were pears, so I sat down with a pear, while everyone got their slice of cheesecake, cookies, and other various deserts.

I got mocked for a FULL half hour, about the fact that I was eating a pear. The pears were given to my boyfriends Aunt, from Harry and David. They were SOO good..

First words out of his aunts mouth "Why would someone give me pears?? des anyone even like pears?" As if they were some weird food that no one has ever heard of.

I said " I LOVE PEARS". I got sneared at, and my boyfriends mom told me I was crazy.

I was so baffled and upset at this point. Its been down hill from there. I am all backed up, bloated, my joints hurt, and I havent had a BM in 3 days.

ICK.

Today has been good so far atleast........Im really scared for the dinner I am going to at my boyfriends friends house tomorrow.......I think I might skip it........I think it is sick that I actually felt bad about the fact that I like fruit? It is just so sick.

I need some support! :(

my mother was given some pears from harry and david and she told me last night they were SO good she couldnt believe it. the woman that gave her these jewels was feeding them to her dog!
my mom was freaking out that something like that would be given to a dog.
not that dogs dont deserve good things to eat but with the expense of those pears.....why would anyone do that.

i havent had them but my mom said they were fabulous.
some people do strange things in life. i hope the dogs enjoyed them alot. LOL

[MelissaO]

My hubby's family is very much the same way. Dinner with them for the holidays was yesterday and there was nothing alive or remotely healthy there.

I know alot of people here bring dishes to share when they go to get togethers but if I did that my dish would go to waste- no one there would try it. I would also never hear the end of it if I brought my own dish for myself to eat. I have been with my hubby for over 10 years and it has taken years for them to understand I do not eat red meats, nothing fried, no coffee, no junk food.

I just try and do the best I can there when I can not make some kind of excuse to not get out of a function.

[HolyGuacamole]

Good word, that sounds painful.
Sorry. *hugs*
If it were me, I might skip the dinner tomorrow...

[cara4art]

Oh dear! {{{Hugs to you}}} - this sounds just BEYOND awful what you have to go through with family!
I agree with Holyguacamole - I'd skip tomorrow's dinner too! Use any kind of excuse you have to, like something upset your tummy over Christmas and how you'd love to attend but simply can't! Actually, something DID upset your stomach - being forced into eating stuff you don't ordinarily eat, and having to deal with toxic family. {{{Hugs again!}}}

[Ilse W.]

You have to learn to be Number One in your own life. You have to take your own health and happiness seriously or nobody else will, either. If you must go to your BF's family dinners, go ahead and bring your own plate of food. Close your ears to their comments, just tell them that you care about your health and can't eat cooked food, no other explanations needed. On the other hand, caring for a person does not obligate you to care for his family. Some people don't get along with their own family, either. We don't choose our families. How about you tell your boyfriend to back you up and tell his folks to lay off and respect your food choices? Give him an ultimatum, either back you up or you will spend the day at home enjoying real food.

[Aleesha Sattva]

it's not always so easy to get through family dinners - and it sounds like this family isn't one who enjoys anything raw and alive.

my advice, drink a huge green smoothie before you leave, bring along some raw yummy treats like fudge balls etc. AND bring a gorgeous salad with you. this way, even if you do end up eating some SAD food... you can heap salad on your plate and enjoy your fudge balls and not feel so "odd".

cause let's face it... we are odd in the mainstream world and so making it easier on ourselves is important... for me anyways.

[Ilse W.]

Oh that's why this suits me so well, I like to be odd...:D

[rawlight]

ditto to the support here. But I think you should also talk to your boyfriend and tell him he needs to support you. If this is a serious relationship, this is a good example for you to see him and the dynamics with his family. If he can't support you in front of his family with your choice to be healthy, what does this bode for the future when it comes to the other choices you will make?

No offense to his family, but Harry and David products very well known and the pears they have are terrific. They have no taste :o

[Raw Angel Mom]

You know what, this will turn around when they see how gorgeous and healthy you look!

You deserve to be beautiful, healthy and gorgeous!
Keep up the great work and congratulations for eating those pears, which i love by the way, lol.....

Hugs

PS. Last year when we were traveling from a family to the next, i brought some key ingredients (Nut, seasoning, spice etc...). I would make our food and the family would absolutely love the taste even though they would eat their cook meal. I made icecream, egg nog, etc.... It was a great success.

[Azaria]

I only had 1 bite - then It was all over from there. I couldnt resist.
I can really relate to this statement! It is like opening the floodgates.,, yes? You think it will just be one innocuous little bite...then whammo, what the h&** just happened?!

Sounds like you are being hit by a double whammy...not only do you feel like crap in your body but it seems like you have 2 sides of your psyche fighting in there.

I think it is sick that I actually felt bad about the fact that I like fruit?
One side knows the beauty of the taste of fruit but the other side feels pressured by the rest of the 'pack' to conform to the percieved norms (SAD diet). It's a tough place to be - but an *incredible* opportunity to strengthen your resolve and firm up your beliefs and actions. For now let this one go, it is over and there is nothing to be gained from beating yourself up. Use it for more clarity and strength next time something like this comes up:)

And more importantly, I think pears in general are delicious...but nashi pears are pure heaven. Yum :D

[carolg]

Pears, pears, give me pear applesauce. I love making this and adding a pinch of water if need be to start the food processor going.

When I visit my daughter I usually do the shopping and this helps me. If I was going to strangers then I would bring along what I can eat. Some don't understand but I'm beyond trying to convince people. I'm on a "restricted" diet is my excuse so it helps settle the discrepancy.

Even if we slip, we can always get right back. This group rawks to help us all with support.

carolg

[juliebove]

I am one of the few who really doesn't like fruit. Pears and apples are two things I can eat. Can, but don't usually. They don't necessarily taste good to me, but they don't bother me. Most fruit tastes so bad to me I have to spit it out immediately. Or I don't like the texture.

We do not eat much fruit at all in this house. I get an organic produce box and alas, most weeks it will have some fruit in it which invariably gets thrown away. Seems they will eat sliced apples (must come sliced and in bags), sometimes bananas, sometimes Cuties, and sometimes melon or fruit salad that is made up at the store. But whole fruit? Or fruit I have cut up? Forget it.

This is weird because husband used to eat TONS of fruit. Not organic fruit though. He hates that. Hates anything organic. Says it tastes weird. I think his taste buds are messed up. He dumps tons of salt and hot sauce on his food or he can't eat it.

[Ilse W.]

How about giving it to a neighbor, a friend, or the food bank instead of throwing it out? Or tell your CSA that you don't eat fruit and can they substitute some vegetables.

[Aleesha Sattva]

wow tossing it out? you don't have a single friend that eats fruit????

[JennaBoBenna]

Why would anyone eat CHEESECAKE?!:confused: I've never understood..:p

give me a danjou any day! :D

Sorry you had to go through that though. The best of us get mocked in some way or another for how we eat...it's sad :( but, it's the best for us, so forget about them and their habits!

[Pking]

Pears are one of my favorite fruits. And true, like others have said, dealing w/family about healthy foods can be a real challenge. Especially when they claim to KNOW all about healthy foods. lol. It's your health, so stick to the things that make you healthy regardless of the negative feedback.

[Revvell]

- being forced into eating stuff you don't ordinarily eat, and having to deal with toxic family. {{{Hugs again!}}}

No force involved ~ always choice. Dealing with toxic families and relationships are also a choice. The thing is, take responsibility for it. Don't blame the other people in one's life. They are where they are and we're all where we are.

Until we grow into our own beings and choose to do what is healthy for us, then this kind of thing is common. Been there, done that. Choose not to do it anymore.

It's a path of aliveness, awareness, growth. We all travel at our own pace in our own time.

Revvell (http://www.Revvellations.com)

[RawHeaven]

Sarah, you're much more tactful than me, lol. I would've said you're really not in the position to be telling me what is healthy and I love pears! But it's easy for me to write that --- who knows until you're in the situation.

Go on and have your pear next time.

The social pressures to conform can be very difficult, but you can do it.

Who's living in your beautiful body --- them or you?

If it's you, than you know what to do next time.

We, or a lot of us anyway, have had our challenges and dealings with negativity from loved ones and even complete strangers for that matter. Food is a hot button and when you're making healthy choices, especially amongst folks who are unconscious to their health issues -- well they will be all over you. Most of the time they have no idea they are lit up like a Christmas tree and their stuff is rising to the surface. Just stay strong, know it's their stuff and stay committed to YOU.

Pretty much everyone that was near you on a very intuitive, basic level knows that pear was a good choice. That's why they responded the way they did. We all know inherently what is good for our bodies. And that's the nuttiness you have to manage at times from people and it's not easy. I have had people almost rip my head off because I pulled an apple out of my purse while they were eating something SAD or packaged. They really couldn't handle that was my choice for a meal and I didn't say or word to them! But it does get easier. I find laughing and keeping my sense of humor helps tremendously. :) Eventually the day arrives when you are no longer swayed by people's emotions and judgements. It's a choice which has already been brought up.


Crystal

ps what helped me was beginning a meditation and exercise practice. great way to stay neutral to that type of energy.

[jurence]

who is healthier, them or you?

who feels better, them or you?

who is thinking more clearer, them or you?

who is an asshole, them or you?

Answer the questions.

Why would anyone ever eat a pear?

[RawHeaven]

I guess I feel like typing today.

Something just popped into my mind...the Cinderella story.

Now just substitute the mean step sisters and step mom who knew that Cinderella had it going on. Same kind of energy happens to raw foodies at times. People get all up in our business regarding what we're eating and try to make us feel bad or confused about it. hahaaaa. Same story happening all over again in many different situations in life. Alright.

But Cinderella always hung tough, knew where she was going. Well she didn't have all the answers - she just stayed true to herself.

We all know the end of that story.

Stay true to yourself is probably the original author's meaning.

[jurence]

Cinderella was stupid enough to believe she had to stay cooped up in the house, it was her fault.

And on that note, the wicked witch of the west is not the wicked one, the "Good" witch is the evil one. She is the one who knew how to get dorothy out of there the entire time and didn't tell her just to clap her shoes. Now tell ME who is evil.

[RawHeaven]

I have no response.

Different viewpoints on the fairytales.

hehe.

[sarahrjm]

Thanks to all that responded! I Feel MUCH better now!! and some of you are real characters! I love it!!:p

I went to a concert tonight, Someone insisted on buying me drinks constantly, I kept telling them no (I dont drink) I kept throwing me drink out.... I told them no, and they chose to waste their money! HAH!

[juliebove]

:D
How about giving it to a neighbor, a friend, or the food bank instead of throwing it out? Or tell your CSA that you don't eat fruit and can they substitute some vegetables.

Food banks don't take perishables. My friends don't eat much fruit and they only eat specific things. Not stuff that comes in the box. I don't really know my neighbors. The reason I have to toss it out is it goes bad. I always bring it home, hoping they'll eat it, but they rarely do. They did eat some this past week with us being snowed in and food being limited. :D

My current CSA doesn't do just veg. boxes. The old one did, but they didn't allow us to make changes so invariably I'd be getting stuff I didn't want.

[juliebove]

wow tossing it out? you don't have a single friend that eats fruit????

One of my friends will eat red delicous apples. Don't know about the others, but none live anywhere near me.

[SheLovesToEat]

:D

Food banks don't take perishables. My friends don't eat much fruit and they only eat specific things. Not stuff that comes in the box. I don't really know my neighbors. The reason I have to toss it out is it goes bad. I always bring it home, hoping they'll eat it, but they rarely do. They did eat some this past week with us being snowed in and food being limited. :D

My current CSA doesn't do just veg. boxes. The old one did, but they didn't allow us to make changes so invariably I'd be getting stuff I didn't want.


JULIE! just tell them NOT to put fruit in your box! you will get a lighter box with just the veg.... but i am SURE if you tell them you will only be throwing out the fruit if they give it to you...they will be sufficently horrified and then remember NOT to put fruit in your box!

why waste something precious that others can eat?

[juliebove]

JULIE! just tell them NOT to put fruit in your box! you will get a lighter box with just the veg.... but i am SURE if you tell them you will only be throwing out the fruit if they give it to you...they will be sufficently horrified and then remember NOT to put fruit in your box!

why waste something precious that others can eat?

It doesn't work that way. And what makes you think someone else will eat it if I don't? If I'm paying for it, I have the right to throw it out if I want to. *sheesh* Why anyone would be horrified at that is just beyond me.

Reminds me of the time I was chastised by a 6th grade teacher for throwing out some stewed prunes. She told me people in _____ (some other country) were starving. So I told her to give me an envelope and I would mail the prunes to them.

[sarahrjm]

Im going to the dinner tonight. I talked to my boyfriend. He does support me, but it didnt really click to him that he should jump in when his family is being rude - He also didnt witness most of it. He just witnessed my anger afterwards.

So I am going to the dinner tonight. It is at our best friends house, his family and ours. He knows about RAW, he lives in california and he says its all over the place - He is also into science.. so he knows all about it!

I am going to bring pears! - Because I love them! and if nobody wants them, More for me!

Pete (our friend) told me he'll have some!

LMAO!!

[JennaBoBenna]

Reminds me of the time I was chastised by a 6th grade teacher for throwing out some stewed prunes. She told me people in _____ (some other country) were starving. So I told her to give me an envelope and I would mail the prunes to them.

haha!! nice! :D

[HolyGuacamole]

Hey, good for you, that sounds perfect. Sounds like they may end up a little more enlightened than before.
Have fun!