what the low down on sabatoge?

[Zaphirah]

Now, let me say-I know I have made progress. My currebt weight is 133. I was as high as 245 when I was pg 5 years ago and I weighed 212 when I really put forth an effort to lose weight. I will not be too hard on myself-I am proud. But I do have a question about sabatoge. For example, I have this annual dinner party to go to. My dress requires me to weigh about 130 to look/fit well. So what have I been doing for 2 days? FREAKING OUT and eating. (for some unkn own reason eating causes bloating and some pain-yet I am still eating and therefore hurting myself?!?!?) Now, why am I sabatoging myself? Why am I not happy to eat light and look good? If there was no party I would be FINE. So why am I MAKING it so I will feel self concious at the party and negative?
This shows itself in other ways like body shaping. I have good intentions, but little follow thru. My weight is fine, but I have a lot of "flab" due to such a larger weight loss. I WANT to look good, yet I DO NOT do what it takes to look/feel good and strong.

So does anyone know the psychological reasoning behind sabatoge? I am SO close...yet I make sure I don't make it? What gives?

[shashibala]

I know how you feel. I weigh about 136 now. I was 196 a year ago. I'm pleased with my progress, but I haven't been able to push myself into the next phase. My weight goal is 115-120 and I need to exercise. I'm not going to lose more weight by just eating differently. I know this, but I just don't do it. I'm working on it though! Let me know if you figure it out!!

[spicyfull]

Get in the MIRROR and have a Talk with yourself. Tell yourself you will Stop this Nonsense right Now, that you Will fit into that dress and go to this function. Tell yourself that you will have a Great Time and you Will be the Cutest one there.

One constantly has to Build themselves up because there are enough others waiting to tear you down. So Talk to your Body and it WILL Respond. When that feeling comes upon you, tell it NOT TODAY or I AM TOO FINE FOR THAT.

[curlygirl82]

Well, I can only speak for myself - you most definitely could have completely different reasons for doing this than I do... but here's my take on why I do it:

It's akin to the (subconscious) reasoning behind procrastination. If you wait till the very last minute to do something, then it lets you off the hook for not doing it as well as you could have. You turn in the term paper you did the night before, and when you get a B instead of an A, you can smile and say to yourself, yeah, but just imagine if I'd REALLY worked on it... Then you can go on with your life, confidant that the paper you COULD have (but didn't) turn(ed) in was the best ever. And you never have to actually put it to the test and find out -- maybe your best is just a B. All of this, of course, is just a coverup for being too critical of yourself, being an overly harsh perfectionist. We're scared of letting ourselves down - so we sabotage ourselves so that we can let ourselves off the hook. Make sense?

So, in your case, maybe you're putting too much stress on yourself about looking good enough, feeling good enough... maybe you're scared that you won't have the best time ever, even if you're looking your best... so you sabotage it, and then when it isn't perfect, it's OK.
My suggestion would be to take the stress out of the equation, as much as possible -- easier said than done, I know!!

Just my thoughts, based on TONS of my own personal self-sabotage.

Best to you, and hope you have a blast!

[Zaphirah]

amazing. each one of you were spot on and said something that affected my heart. Thank you. What a blessing you are!

[HolyGuacamole]

Well, I can only speak for myself - you most definitely could have completely different reasons for doing this than I do... but here's my take on why I do it:

It's akin to the (subconscious) reasoning behind procrastination. If you wait till the very last minute to do something, then it lets you off the hook for not doing it as well as you could have. You turn in the term paper you did the night before, and when you get a B instead of an A, you can smile and say to yourself, yeah, but just imagine if I'd REALLY worked on it... Then you can go on with your life, confidant that the paper you COULD have (but didn't) turn(ed) in was the best ever. And you never have to actually put it to the test and find out -- maybe your best is just a B. All of this, of course, is just a coverup for being too critical of yourself, being an overly harsh perfectionist. We're scared of letting ourselves down - so we sabotage ourselves so that we can let ourselves off the hook. Make sense?

So, in your case, maybe you're putting too much stress on yourself about looking good enough, feeling good enough... maybe you're scared that you won't have the best time ever, even if you're looking your best... so you sabotage it, and then when it isn't perfect, it's OK.


Wow, how very astute.
I do that procrastination thing and never really thought about why but ding-ding-ding!



Have fun at the party, Zaphirah.

[Bananna]

Yes! I remember learning about that in psychology...never really made the connection to weight loss and 'perfecting your body' till now! That Really makes sense and is very helpful to me too!

[oai]

what curly said. :p

[rawviveyourself]

First off, 133 from 245?? AMAZING! Good for you!!

Second, what you feed grows, what you starve dies.

Every moment we have a choice to feed a thought. Think of it like bumper bowling. You have those little guards on the side to keep the ball in play. Without the guards, ball goes in the gutter, game over. Our minds are like the bumpers --- so when any negative thoughts come in, just realize the goal is to get the ball down the alley and get a STRIKE, which you won't get if you let the ball go in the wrong direction. So, in short, keep your mind out of the gutter. :) (Totally unintended pun!)

[rawxstasy]

I understand what you guys are saying. I think my problem is when I start looking good, I become afraid. And it doesn't matter how badly I want to lose the weight. I stop exercising, eat more and pack on the pounds again. :( But I've been dealing with alot of emotional and sexual abuse from my past. I have been doing craniosacral therapy which has been really helpful in releasing my fears.