cant breastfeed - help

[garydeb44]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone could help me with this. My daughter is having much trouble breastfeeding and needs to supplement the baby with formula. Does anyone know what is the best formula to give the baby while she is trying to heal. She is so depressed right now and the babyt really needs to to eat, so please if anyone knows what's best after breastfeeding, please respond. Thank you so much.

Debbie

[Zaphirah]

how old is the baby? there are organic formulas out there. I am a mom of 4 babies and I couldn't nurse-not 1 single one of them. I know breastmilk is best, but when it isn't an option, you just have to do what you have to do. I was severely despressed about being unable to nurse. seriously. I am an ALL NATURAL mama, and this DID NOT fit into my "plan". Does your dd feel somewhat the same? It was difficult, but my dc survived formula (lol) and are now raw vegans. I did the best I could with what I had, ya know? As my dh is fond of saying "It is what it is." (((((hugs)))))

[garydeb44]

Hi, thank you for responding so quickly. My daughter is very depressed right now. She does'nt want to give up nursing but it is what it is. (lol) What organic formula did you use? Which one is best? I have four children also but I breastfed them so I don't know anything about formula. Thanks again

Debbie

[garydeb44]

Oh I forgot, the baby is 3 weeks old.

[HolyGuacamole]

Has she spoken with a La Leche League leader or lactation consultant?
It may yet be possible for her to breastfeed...

[garydeb44]

Yes, she had a breastfeeding nurse come to the house a couple of times for A LOT of money. It didn't help.

[MiahTay]

Here is an interesting article:

http://www.all-creatures.org/cb/a-babies.html

I had a friend that CHOSE not to breastfeed to find that their daughter was allergic to just about every formula on the market and ended up using goat's milk - it was the one thing they found that she wasn't allergic to.

I wonder if it is possible to continue to breastfeed with supplementation? Is it just that she is not producing enough milk? Could she still breastfeed and supplement with another options so that babe is getting enough? Just some thoughts.

Blessings,
Heather

[deberaw]

Her baby is so young, I wouldn't give up just yet....try calling 1-800-LA-LECHE for assistance, their help is free and someone in her area will be able to call her back and assist. She should also be talking to her pediatrician who may be able to advise also. Best of luck! Deb

[Zaphirah]

Yes, help is always a great idea-but there comes a point where some mamas CAN'T breast feed. I tried with all 4 of my babies and they would become lethargic and dehydrated and 1 even passed crystals. Nursing seems like a HUGE deal, but in hind sight, I made a mountain out of a mole hill. I also had PPD (most likely from very complicated medical births and then found I was unable to bf). Do you think she has PPD? I used crappy formula that I got free from WIC but there are organic ones now, if cost isn't an issue.

I mean, if she wants to keep trying she should, but there comes a very sad and lonely time in a mamas heart when she realizes that she CAN'T. Telling her to keep trying and keep trying, altho nothing is working may only set her up to feel more like a "failure", in her own eyes. Does that make sense?

[rawstrength]

My freshman English teacher was a babe in a time when there were no infant formulas. His mother couldn't breastfeed him and he was allergic to cow's milk. So he drank goat's milk.
He is now 85 years old and he is still very healthy and active. He retired last year. He is also the only senior I know who doesn't take any prescription medicines.
How do I know this? We once spent an entire English class discussing babies and breastfeeding. Though a genious, my English teacher was also kind of a cook.

[garydeb44]

Hi, thanks for all your responses. She is going to try to keep nursing but she needs to supplement. Her nipples cracked open, are bleeding pretty badly and the pain is sooooo intense . I don't think she is even producing that much milk either. She tried pumping, but that's not working either. It's hard for her to relax because she is in so much pain and she is so upset that nothing is working. The nurse told her to try switching postitions every time and only breastfeed every 3 hours so she can heal in between. The baby is hungry and is not getting enough from her. He starts crying right after she feeds him but when I give him the pacifier, he sucks vigorously as if he is trying to get something out of it and then starts crying again. I told her to supplement with formula in between while she is trying to heal her nipples a little but as soon as he starts to nurse again, the scabs crack open and they start bleeding and its so painful. I don't think with her being so tense that the milk is flowing properly.

[rawstrength]

Has she tried a mix of coconut oil and honey to help heal?
This is how I healed the recurring cuts that I had on my feet. These cuts would literally open everytime that I walked. But putting coconut oil and honey on and sealing it overnight cleared the cuts right up.

[Sugar Snap Pea]

Tell her to forget the breastfeeding nurse, LaLeche League is free, and in my experience more knowledgeable than any other resource!! There's a cream called BagBalm i think, that really helps w sore, cracked nipples. Don't give it up till shes tried LLL! ;)

[Sugar Snap Pea]

OOPS, sorry, Rawstrength, NO HONEY FOR BABYS UNDER 1 YEAR, EVER! It contains botulism spores which can be lethal for babies under 1 year due to their immature immune systems. Honey is good for healing wounds, but if the baby nursed and got some of the honey, that would not be good.

[rawstrength]

OOPS, sorry, Rawstrength, NO HONEY FOR BABYS UNDER 1 YEAR, EVER! It contains botulism spores which can be lethal for babies under 1 year due to their immature immune systems. Honey is good for healing wounds, but if the baby nursed and got some of the honey, that would not be good.

Oh, I completly agree. She would have to make sure the baby didn't ingest any of the honey.

[Mialsse]

I am so sorry your daughter is having such a tough time.
I can relate, this sounds so very similar to my first breastfeeding experience. I don't have any answers to your specific question, I haven't been the market for formula for a while, but I do want to share my story - unsolicited as it may be, lol. And the only reason I am doing so is in hope that it *could* possibly help, in one way or another. I apologize if this gets long - I tend to talk a lot, haha!

My first son was born under extremely stressful circumstances. A whole lot of unnecessary medical intervention caused a lot of problems for both baby and me. I eventually had to be rushed in for an emergency c-section, and my son was immediately taken to the NICU. They were unable to perform the surgery while I was awake (whole 'nother story), so I was knocked out and unable to see my baby until the following morning. As such, he was given formula by the NICU nurses during my absence.

When I finally was able to be with him, I tried to nurse, but he had already become so used to the "easy nipple" bottle, and became instantly frustrated when he couldn't quickly latch onto my breast. I kept trying and trying the entire time he was in the NICU, but the nurses there continued to pressure me to "just supplement with formula" to tide him over until we figured it out. I had the hospitals "breastfeeding nurse" come to try and help, but after observing for only a few seconds, she advised that I just keep plugging away at it, and if he gets really hungry, it's ok to "just supplement with formula" until we get the hang of it.

Being so young, and not having an OUNCE of breastfeeding support from anyone around me, I listened to them. I figured the drs and nurses had to know what they were talking about, right? (haaa) So I supplemented. Only, the more I supplemented, the more quickly he'd become frustrated when I would put him to the breast. He wanted NOTHING to do with nursing, but I kept trying. My breasts were SO sore. My nipples were crusty, cracking, and bleeding. It hurt! BAD!!! I would cry everytime he started to wake up. Knowing the intense pain I was about to be in while I tried to help him latch on. After just a few seconds, he was in a screaming fit because he couldn't latch on, and I was already in tear over-load, they just flowed uncontrollably. Whenever I wasn't trying to nurse him, I was standing in the shower crying silently to myself. It seemed to be the only place I was able to get some relief. The hot water helped to "drain" my breasts some, so they weren't so engorged. The water also seemed to help soothe my bleeding nipples. But I wanted to keep trying. My family encouraged me to stop, and to "just let him have his formula". Telling me I gave it a good effot, and assuring me that it wasn't a big deal, he would be fine. After 2 1/2 weeks, I gave up, and my son was exclusively formula fed.

The thing is, it WAS a big deal. It was a big deal to ME.

He'll be 10 in just five days, and I still regret that decision. It's something I have struggled with all of these years. I HAVE made some progress in trying to forgive myself, and making myself let go ... but the feelings of regret and disappointment are still there. The feelings of being a failure. The feelings of not being strong enough to do what my heart was telling me to do, and instead listening to the advice of those around me - even as well intentioned as they were.

I've had two other children since, and while it was still very very difficult, and quite painful in the beginning(same crusty, cracked, bleeding nipples), and later a few infections caused from clogged milk ducts, that also caused a great deal of pain, and a lot of tear stained cheeks while nursing... I did find a way to make it work with both of them. I came to learn my nipples aren't "latch friendly", so I'd have to help tuck and shove in order to get a proper latch with no pain. I also realized I don't naturally produce enough milk, so I took herbs and drank teas daily to help with supply. I also tried SO many different types of pumps before I found one that worked for me. I didn't really get much milk from pumping (I don't know what it is - my boobs just don't like pumps, haa), but I wasn't interested in storing it anyway, I just used it to help stimulate more milk production (and the one that finally worked, after trying even the most expensive, top of the line model, happened to be a cheap, disposable hand pump that was given to me during a hospital stay).

I'm not saying your daughter should forget about supplementing and just continue trying to nurse. Not at all. That is entirely up to her. My only suggestion would be to help surround her with breastfeeding support, so she is able to find peace with whatever decision she comes to make. If she gives in before she's able to explore every avenue there is, she may, like me, become eaten up with regret for years to come. It's something I wish I would have had that first time. And not some over-priced nurse. Like the others have mentioned, get in touch with the LLL near her. They are a WEALTH of information, ideas, tips, tricks. So many wonderful women, with years of experience. If they aren't able to help your Daughter through this difficult time and able to successfully breastfeed, they'll likely be a great resource for alternative feeding options. She may even be able to get connected with a Mother who is willing to give or sell her own milk.

My heart goes out to your Daughter. I remember the feeling all too well. I hope she is able to find peace with this situation soon! And (((HUGS))) to you for trying to help!

[MiahTay]

Yep, sure wish someone would have told me about cracked and bleeding nipples too! My first child sucked so hard I had cracked and bleeding nipples for a little more than the first month. I found that if I put warm wet compresses on before I nursed it would help with the pain a bit. And I also found that once I started nursing and my milk began to let down that the pain really eased up. Then AFTER I had endured this my mom told me that her doctor had told her to use a wash cloth to toughen up her nipples before I was born. I also would contact La Leche League, they are a HUGE wealth of information.

Blessings,
Heather

[Raw Angel Mom]

Until you find the perfect supplement, nurse and nurse and nurse more often. The milk will go up, i promise.

I didn't know about it, me i was pumping and still do because i had an infectiong and when i was ok, my baby at the time wanted the bottle only, so i just sticked with pumping. She is three and i still do, and i have no regret for doing this, of course she eats mainly raw food now. This is so handy to produce the milk still when they gets sick, have teeth, eye infection, mum's milk rock. So when the demand would go up with her, i would pump more often and at some point, i would have so much milk that i would freeze it.

If you need to get an automatic pump, do so for it has been a great investment for me. You can do both nursing and pumping.

Not knowing better, i supplement my daughter at first, from pressure, but knowing what i know, i wouldn't worry about it anymore and just try to produce more milk

Almonds, 3elives, maca and greens seem to increase the milk.

If you still want to supplement, and unless you can find a homemade recipe. I found organic infant milk on the internet. Whole food sell it. I bought the dairy one, but it constipated my baby at the time. Now, no more dairy but i would give her dairy before i gave her any soy base formula. On the raw thread for children, some recommended coconut water. Apparently, it is very rich, but do your research and folllow what feels right with you. I know for sure that you can increase your milk.

For your baby being depress, your emotions, horomones etc.. goes in your milk, so perhaps, try to think of something great before making your milk.

Best wishes!

[garydeb44]

Thank you so much for all your replies. I printed them out and am bringing them to her tomorrow. Hopefully something will help her. Thank you again.

Debbie

[Sugar Snap Pea]

Hey there, Don't know if your daughter is still trying to breastfeed, but if she is, have her google cottonbabies.com and go to the nursing section! Lotsa items there that may help her if she's still trying! ;)

[garydeb44]

Thank you so much. I will look at that right now. Yes, she is still trying. Right now she is pumping, but her nipples are still bleeding just by pumping. I'm scared she is going to have a really hard time getting the baby to nurse again. It's been about 2 weeks.

Thanks again

Debbie

[1bigfamily]

Thank you so much. I will look at that right now. Yes, she is still trying. Right now she is pumping, but her nipples are still bleeding just by pumping. I'm scared she is going to have a really hard time getting the baby to nurse again. It's been about 2 weeks.

Thanks again

Debbie

I was able to get my twins to nurse after 3 months of bottle feeding so tell she doesn't have to give up if she doesn't want to. Has she figured out why her nipples are bleeding?

[garydeb44]

Oh, that's encouraging. Thank you. The same thing happened to me when I nursed my first child. I think just sensitive skin. I have blonde hair, green eyes and a very fair complexion. I think darker people have tougher skin. Just a thought. The second child, I knew of the problem so I toughened up my nipples by using a white wash cloth and rubbed them everyday for months before I gave birth. This toughened them up and I have no problem at all nursing the rest of my children. :)

Debbie

[Raw Angel Mom]

With the pump or nursing if there is any discomfort, you need to figure a way to reposition until this is ok. I learned finally that if i don't do this, i will end up bleeding. Now that i found the trick i am ok and i probably would be with nursing if i would have an infant. With the pump, you do have control as long that this is an automatic pump where you can adjust the speed ect... It is important to bare with producing milk even though that you pump it and leave it in the bottle. Better your milk then supplement.

Mummy needs to sleep with the baby if she is tired and not worry about anything else then to take care of her also. If she is tired, the milk will go down too.

Milk really go up if you do pump often or nurse often this is how our body work.

Best wishes!

[garydeb44]

Hi Raw Angel Mom,

Yes, thank you , I agree. I will give her your advice on pumping. She's willing to try anything.

Debbie

[sewrev]

my son was 1/1/2 when I got pregnant with my first Daughter and she was 6 months when I got pregnant with my last daughter .. I had some problems nursing my first daughter and my obgyn told me to have a beer each night for a couple weeks till my milk came in better.. I guess it worked two fold it relaxed me enough so I could let the milk fall down and seemed to quiet the baby down some too. The Hops in the beer I was told has something in it that will help with milk production. I know this is not raw but by the time my last daughter came I had all these babies and stress and had an infection in one breast and mainly feed from the good breast.more since the other was so painful.. I tryed the beer thing and it really helped and I dont like beer.. I had Poopooed the idea at first when my obgyn told me this but sometimes so get to a sertain amount of sleep depravation and you;ll try things you would never dream of

[juliebove]

I too had to supplement. I just could not produce enough milk. At the time there were no organic formulas available. I tried every formula on the market and Angela got sick from all of them. Either threw them up or had trouble at the other end. Got stopped up or the runs. We now know she has food allergies. I had wanted to breast feed only because I know allergies run in the family. But I had no choice. She was steadily losing weight, was dehydrated and there was a case on the news of a baby dying because the mother didn't supplement. It was a bad time for us.

[J A]

I thought I'd drop a line too... I know I'm a male but my wife's in LLL and I've been attending the meetings AND talked nursing a lot with my wife and her LLL friends. And, being a home dad, I've seen our two kids grow up nursing... Our daughter is 4 and she'll still enjoy it now & then while the 1,5 year toddler simply doesn't know anything better ;)

Definitely keep trying and let the baby decide when. Any schedules will likely increase the problems as will supplements - the more supplements, the less milk and the problem will only keep worsening. Plus formulas really are a deadly thing - should only be given as an emergency. I reckon Ann Wigmore was fed greens by her grandmother, wasn't she? I mean, she was abandoned by her parents and kept alive by the green stuff (green juice? green soups?) given by her grandmother. We have given green smoothie to our son (didn't know of those when our daughter was small) but 3 weeks is very very young... Could try very small amounts? Your daughter could first warm up the smoothie in her mouth, her enzymes might also help to make it even more palatable.

Oh, and be sure to call LLL! They're worlds apart from any nurses I know of, at least where I live.

Edit: Oh, I hope your daughter sleeps in the same bed with the baby - I can imagine she'll have trouble if she's making the baby sleep in a cot. Just a thought.

[coco]

a note about the beer, it's only stout (dark beer) that does the trick. regular old lager is useless for increasing breastmilk supply.
fenugreek tea is very good as well.

best of luck.