RawSweetie
10-24-2008, 05:10 PM
Hi all,
Well, I have been eating SAD **daily** for the past, oh, 3 weeks or so. A month?? My 60-hr work week, the constant temptation of "gourmet" SAD food in my face every single day, and a very, very tragic event in my family all created a perfect storm of bad eating. I don't feel judgemental toward myself, and I do know that raw is a process. I'm choosing to view my experiences as grist for the mill...but I also know that it's hard for me to come here toRFT and admit that, after all the raw wonderfulness I had experienced at 30 days raw, and all the available support here that I could ask for, I have been on a real bender. I don't eat flesh, but I have been freely eating eggs and cheese. It is SUCH a weird, strange DISCONNECT.
I'm sure this is more for an actual therapist, but the family thing felt like someone backed a dump truck into the "yard" of my life and let loose with a whole lot of garbage and, suddenly, I was treating my body that way. All kinds of very toxic family secrets came to a head and lives have been forever altered. I feel literally thrown from the beautiful raw path I was on...
My work shedule returns to normal as of this weekend, so that is good, and I'm praying to be able to return to my path, one day at a time. I have learned, once again, how utterly, utterly addictive SAD food is for me. It's really unbelievable.
In other, HAPPY news, I am also falling in love--with a chef--a SAD chef--who fully respects and supports my raw food journey, thinks I am the cat's meow, and who is very interested in the whole raw "thing," as he calls it, even though he is not ready to do it himself. He thinks it's great, and yet he is quite invested in his own professional path, and I wouldn't want to step on his toes in any way. So, it's an interesting place I'm in right now. I really just wanted to reconnect with all of you. When I go back to SAD eating, I don't feel like I "deserve" to be here. I hate that! I've been reading the threads but have not been posting. The thought of having to go through detox all over again makes me sad and disappointed, I have to say. But, I want to be raw. So, here I go again. :o
**Thanks for listening**
Well, I have been eating SAD **daily** for the past, oh, 3 weeks or so. A month?? My 60-hr work week, the constant temptation of "gourmet" SAD food in my face every single day, and a very, very tragic event in my family all created a perfect storm of bad eating. I don't feel judgemental toward myself, and I do know that raw is a process. I'm choosing to view my experiences as grist for the mill...but I also know that it's hard for me to come here toRFT and admit that, after all the raw wonderfulness I had experienced at 30 days raw, and all the available support here that I could ask for, I have been on a real bender. I don't eat flesh, but I have been freely eating eggs and cheese. It is SUCH a weird, strange DISCONNECT.
I'm sure this is more for an actual therapist, but the family thing felt like someone backed a dump truck into the "yard" of my life and let loose with a whole lot of garbage and, suddenly, I was treating my body that way. All kinds of very toxic family secrets came to a head and lives have been forever altered. I feel literally thrown from the beautiful raw path I was on...
My work shedule returns to normal as of this weekend, so that is good, and I'm praying to be able to return to my path, one day at a time. I have learned, once again, how utterly, utterly addictive SAD food is for me. It's really unbelievable.
In other, HAPPY news, I am also falling in love--with a chef--a SAD chef--who fully respects and supports my raw food journey, thinks I am the cat's meow, and who is very interested in the whole raw "thing," as he calls it, even though he is not ready to do it himself. He thinks it's great, and yet he is quite invested in his own professional path, and I wouldn't want to step on his toes in any way. So, it's an interesting place I'm in right now. I really just wanted to reconnect with all of you. When I go back to SAD eating, I don't feel like I "deserve" to be here. I hate that! I've been reading the threads but have not been posting. The thought of having to go through detox all over again makes me sad and disappointed, I have to say. But, I want to be raw. So, here I go again. :o
**Thanks for listening**