Deflated Again.

[Eva]

Welp, here I am. I got off the phone with my boss feeling as deflated as ever. I want to feel optimistic about life and my future, but I really am having a hard time getting past the deflation.

I ate a whole (small) bag of macadamia nuts while I was talking to him, had to reach for something.

A person can't be raw + healthy + deflated. One of those things must be gone. It's the deflation that needs to go. We ended the conversation and are supposed to continue it in a couple hours.

I hope I will have the courage to do the right thing.

[oai]

hi eva. goodluck with the phone conversation. do your best with boss man! :)

yep. i think i read a thread on here about there needing to be a balance b/wn being healthy physically & emotionally. it was a very intellectual type of post... so i ran away from it. :p you might know which thread i'm talking about though. :D

[ShelShel]

I hear ya! :o I love to go for something heavy raw when I get stressed out. It's my same response when not raw. As though I can bury the feeling. I'm so happy that you were able to stay raw in a time of stress...good for you! :)

[HolyGuacamole]

Eva, I am eating a big pile of raw fattiness right now for emotional reasons.
It happens.
Let yourself off the hook. *hugs*

[MelissaO]

When the time is right you will do the right thing. The macadamia nuts were a better reach for then the other stuff that made your tummy hurt.

[Eva]

oai -- I decided to just keep doing my work and to not call him back, to just separate myself from the emotions long enough to fulfill my responsibilities! He called the next morning, and the talk was fine, but nothing has changed.

ShelShel -- Good point, and I am glad I didn't reach for something that's not raw... except here's the thing... I want to be past all of that, even though I realize it is normal as a human sometimes. If I have stress that makes me want to reach for food that my body doesn't want, I want to breathe deeply, meditate, focus on what I need, do some yoga, go for a walk, journal, etc. I'm finished with stuffing things down!

HolyGuac -- I hope you're feeling better from the emotional = eat fatty stuff. :eek::) (Thanks for the permission to let myself off the hook. I know, I know, I'm human!)

MelissaO -- November 3 is the date. I got a tummy ache anyways from the stress and imbalance. :( But no worries, I'll have everything in place on November 3. He's scheduled to put my benefits payment in my account (for May to September) at the end of this month. I know his ethics, they're what give me the belly aches... he won't give me the money he owes me if I quit.

And so it is, I'm gonna keep on keepin' on. I can't tell you how much your comments help, having the support from people who understand. :)

[HolyGuacamole]

Thank you, Eva. I do feel a little better this morning, and I hope you do, too.
You're doing fine. :)