Why, oh why?

[Eva]

I had a call scheduled with my boss. I'm not happy with some things happening with the company I work for. I don't like some things that are happening, and I really don't need the money. I'd be happy with any interesting job, and I'm qualified for plenty of those.

Sigh. So, right before this call I went and bought some cheese and bread and ate it all. I thought I was through with that sort of silliness. Now, I've been in and out of the bathroom, my heart is beating fast but I'm lethargic, and my stomach is SO unhappy!

Sigh. Don't know why I'm sharing. I'm so used to offering up advice since I've had it "together" for awhile.

My game plan is:
-Get back to looking at my choices.
-Drink some warm mint tea.
-Eat something like a carob chocolate. I don't know. I want more as ridiculous as that is. That's the best I can think of considering everything's closed for the day now except places with the unhealthy chocolate. ]
-Cancel the trip for the weekend (can't be on the train feeling like this, ick.).

That's it. And rest. If I'm up to it, I may do some yoga this weekend.

[rawstrength]

When your stomach is feeling emptied out, try some celery juice. It really is great for restoring digestive juices and getting back on track.

We've all been there, eaten bad food, felt bad, yet wanted more. It is a valueable learning experience. Keep on keepin' on!

[Emma-Liza]

I know you know this...but I'll just say it anyway... :)

Address the stress source. Eating to avoid stress or deal with anxiety just compounds the problem. If it were possible to eat those things into submission, I'd be queen of the world by now! :o

Even more distracting from dealing with the source of the stress would be to focus on what you ate and how bad you feel. Put your energy and focus back to what you can do about the problem at work. Your body is healthy and it's going to be fine.

[Eva]

Yes, Emma-Liza... you're right! Clearly, I need to address the source of the emotional difficulty. Sheesh. It's just that I'm not "ready" to quit, but the environment at work is not currently ideal for my needs. LOL, I even work at home. But I'm still part of Corporate America, even if it is from my studio in Budapest!

Double sigh.

[Eva]

Thanks rawstrength for the input. Unfortunately (I guess), this is more complicated than just food. I'll try to remember the celery juice for the next time I would like physical cleansing, though. :)

[RawHeaven]

Eva I know you will figure it out. The emotional stuff is surfacing for a reason. I used to think that healing involved all or nothing prospects. Hit major milestone. Release. Hit major milestone. Release. Gone forever. haha. I wish.

I believe we heal in layers like peeling an onion, tears included. Just when you thought you were completely done with something, there it is again. I'm sure it's a deeper level of awareness that you're about to uncover.

Remember "Layers".

Have a beautiful weekend.

Love,
Crystal

[RawHeaven]

It's just that I'm not "ready" to quit, but the environment at work is not currently ideal for my needs. LOL, I even work at home. But I'm still part of Corporate America, even if it is from my studio in Budapest!

Double sigh.

I think there's a clue regarding the core of it in there somewhere. ;)

[MelissaO]

I am sorry to hear about your job situation. I am in a simular situation at my place of work. My friends and family tell me to let things roll off me, don't take it home with me etc. It is not possible for me to do that so until I am able to either find another job (been looking since June for that ) or until end of next month when my finances are at a better place I have to stick it out. I do lots of yoga, warm baths with lavender oil drops in it before bed, when I am at work I get out on break and walk around the building.

I hope things get better for you soon.

[Revvell]

My teacher has a saying "Nothing's handled until it's handled". It's not handled ~ whatever it is. :)

[Stina]

The most powerful tool I have in my life is meditation. Do you have any kind of practice?

[tanishamarshall]

Sound like me Eva, needing to get rid of things in your life that are not doing you justice.

I know you'll get through it... Stay strong and like it was said earlier, don't dwell on it, re focus on what you do want.

[raweater]

I had a similar but longer term problem, I started buying organic raw cheese regularly and have some almost daily on "half cooked half raw pizza" (cooked bread, raw tomatoe sauce, raw real cheese). I thought the only bad thing in there was the bread since raw dairy is apparently very healthy (while pasteurized dairy is proven to be extremely dangerous and deadly). But I noticed the cheese always caused me to burst out in acne (luckily just in my back). I also heard that raw cheese is only made from raw milk, but the final product is cooked during processing, so this may be why it was giving me acne. Oh, and being a stupid human I always tried to warm it up in the oven until I thought it was at the "brink of rawness".

After eating this half raw pizza almost daily for months, I decided to quit it.

I haven't had it in months now and now that I'm back to work on my raw recipe book i'm closer to 100% raw as I test each recipe I create, and it got me thinking "These recipes taste better than pretty much anything cooked I can eat, are made in less time, and cost less", so I'll really try to stay closer to 100% raw although I have no intentions on going to absolutely 100%, I'm ok eating cooked vegan things in restaurants or every now and then at home.

[Eva]

You guys are great. I overate yesterday (all raw, though) and have had stomach aches like you'd never believe for about 3 days straight. Last night, I had a breakthrough. I was oil pulling for some time and -- through intense pain -- got myself moving to clean up, make almond milk, start scones with the pulp, get some sprouts and rejuvalac going, start flax crackers (actually they're finishing now), wax my legs and underarms, take a bubble bath, and drink some warm herbal tea. I did most of the work in about 1.5 hours! And I was still in pain when I was finished, but I was feeling better.

I read "The Four Agreements" last night and spent some time thinking about my motivations. I had a lovely conversation with my husband and mom. What more could I want?

So, I am on a juice feast today -- which is funny because I have crackers and savory nori snacks in the D and scones and almond milk completed now. But, ah well, I'll be back on solids tomorrow.

And I was SURE that my (new!) blender's juicer attachment would be worthless, but I have made some WONDERFUL apple juice today. I'm even using the pulp productively for my next batch of crackers (recipe to come if it works out well! :))

[Eva]

My teacher has a saying "Nothing's handled until it's handled". It's not handled ~ whatever it is. :)

LOL, yes, yes, both true. But getting handled on the fly here and now!


I had a similar but longer term problem, I started buying organic raw cheese regularly and have some almost daily on "half cooked half raw pizza" (cooked bread, raw tomatoe sauce, raw real cheese). I thought the only bad thing in there was the bread since raw dairy is apparently very healthy (while pasteurized dairy is proven to be extremely dangerous and deadly). But I noticed the cheese always caused me to burst out in acne (luckily just in my back). I also heard that raw cheese is only made from raw milk, but the final product is cooked during processing, so this may be why it was giving me acne. Oh, and being a stupid human I always tried to warm it up in the oven until I thought it was at the "brink of rawness".

After eating this half raw pizza almost daily for months, I decided to quit it.

I haven't had it in months now and now that I'm back to work on my raw recipe book i'm closer to 100% raw as I test each recipe I create, and it got me thinking "These recipes taste better than pretty much anything cooked I can eat, are made in less time, and cost less", so I'll really try to stay closer to 100% raw although I have no intentions on going to absolutely 100%, I'm ok eating cooked vegan things in restaurants or every now and then at home.

Good for you for making the cut. I have been uncooking like mad in the last 18 hours or so (lol and sleeping in between), and it has been so much fun. Sheesh, and I haven't even been eating the stuff. But I'm really pumped for when my single-day juice feast is over, because I just KNOW these things are going to be tasty! Raw food is SO good! And I'll tell ya, the bread and cheese was NOT worth it. It wasn't good at all. I feel like it wasn't really so much about the taste though. Although last night I was thinking of fried hashbrowns. That was thinking about the taste. I'll have to figure something out to replace that. But either way, I don't want it.


Sound like me Eva, needing to get rid of things in your life that are not doing you justice.

I know you'll get through it... Stay strong and like it was said earlier, don't dwell on it, re focus on what you do want.

I'm definitely focusing on what I do want. Stay tuned. ;)


The most powerful tool I have in my life is meditation. Do you have any kind of practice?
Stina, what a useful thought! I have at times made a special effort to meditate. It's actually quite useful for ADHD. I have not been going to yoga or meditating lately (with one exception last week when I tried a new yoga place that I will never go back to. Ick.).

I will make more of an effort to put this back in my schedule. It truly does help.


When your stomach is feeling emptied out, try some celery juice. It really is great for restoring digestive juices and getting back on track.

We've all been there, eaten bad food, felt bad, yet wanted more. It is a valueable learning experience. Keep on keepin' on!

Ha, now that the emotional issues are gone, I'm going for the celery juice in a bit. :) I've just made a shopping list for the health food store. I just can't guarantee they'll have it...

[Teraw]

Sweetie, I just quit my job and I did need the money. I am qualified to do a lot as well and had no problems finding potential replacements. My stress levels are important to me. If that job of yours can't "get it 2gether" LEAVE! Sometimes our higher power wants us to move on and fertilize others. I have read many of your posts on this site, and you are truely inspiring. We need you! You have lots of advise b/c you have been through it all. Don't cancel your plans. If you feel unable to do it for yourself right now, please......do it for us! You're sharp I know you will bounce back in NO TIME!

[Eva]

Sweetie, I just quit my job and I did need the money. I am qualified to do a lot as well and had no problems finding potential replacements. My stress levels are important to me. If that job of yours can't "get it 2gether" LEAVE! Sometimes our higher power wants us to move on and fertilize others. I have read many of your posts on this site, and you are truely inspiring. We need you! You have lots of advise b/c you have been through it all. Don't cancel your plans. If you feel unable to do it for yourself right now, please......do it for us! You're sharp I know you will bounce back in NO TIME!

I had another conference call this morning, and the moment the call started, I went from juice feasting to eating heavy food from the D. Sigh. It's just so negative. And my ethical standards are ... hmmm... different from those of the company. That's my biggest issue.

Then I read your post. Such kind words. I called my bank to check where I am. I have the money for several months' basic expenses covered, and house that's paid. I really DON'T need this. "Unfortunately", my boss is putting money for the whole year (17% of my income from April to the end of October) into a retirement fund or paid out as cash (my option) at the end of this month. If I quit today, that will NOT happen! Sigh.

[Eva]

I am sorry to hear about your job situation. I am in a simular situation at my place of work. My friends and family tell me to let things roll off me, don't take it home with me etc. It is not possible for me to do that so until I am able to either find another job (been looking since June for that ) or until end of next month when my finances are at a better place I have to stick it out. I do lots of yoga, warm baths with lavender oil drops in it before bed, when I am at work I get out on break and walk around the building.

I hope things get better for you soon.

I don't know how I missed your post. Ugh, I've heard the "let it roll off" type suggestions plenty. Good ideas in the yoga, warm baths etc. :)

I hope everything works out for you soon. Have you checked out www.elance.com for freelancing opportunities? It could be worth the look...