View Full Version : How to deal with social difficulties
10-16-2008, 09:52 PM
Hi everyone. I want to ask how do you deal with certain social situations. I explain at different times to my kids (8 & 5) that we eat healthy so we don't get sick (and because it's nice to the animals etc). So, when we're over at the cousin's house, those kids eat crap, and then my kids ask why their mom gives them food that would make them sick. Doesn't she care about their health??? they say. It is very difficult to explain this to them. I try to say that she doesn't know any better, but that's a flat out lie because I know she does. So my kids say, so tell her it's bad! Oh, did you realize you are killing your child with that food? Oh, did I offend you by saying that? Aaaargh! Everyone around them eats crap. Then they say stuff like "so 'n so" didn't get sick after eating that donut (or whatever). It is very hard (VERY HARD) to be around people who don't eat like we do. Not just because food for us isn't available, and we have to bring our own, but my kids just don't understand why a parent would give their kid junk food if it makes them sick. These parents are killing their kids, don't seem to care, and I'm supposed to explain that this to them in a "loving" way? I don't know what to do anymore! I feel like living on Mars! I do not want to insult anyone or make them feel like bad parents, but part of me wants to grab them and shake them and shout "do you know what you're doing!" But this is mainly about explaining to my kids why their aunt feeds their cousins rubbish (or their friends' mom feeds their friends the rubbish). How can you do this delicately, and without making them feel like their aunt (or friend's parent) is being "cruel" by feeding them something that would make them sick and hurt animals. Thanks for your input!
10-16-2008, 10:27 PM
This one is very easy. I do not personally believe there is one diet that works for all of us. Just as I do not believe there is one belief system that works for all of us. I tell my daughter it is up to each person to decide what is best for them and live their lives accordingly. We do not have to agree with what the other people do. We just have to do what we know is right for us.
10-17-2008, 08:22 AM
IF I had children, I'd tell them to go ahead and indulge what others eat ~ and see how they feel. I know whenever I went to a birthday party as a kid, I'd be throwing up orange soda the next day.
It's just like how adults here find out how bad cooked, sugared, dead animals are for them. They go raw for awhile, then eat the food. As often as not they feel poorly and realize what's good for them or not.
I know when I was a child, experience was the best teacher. My mother ate healthy but I didn't realize what that meant until into my late 20's.
No, they didn't "SEE" so'n'so get sick but was so'n'so feeling good? Do the other kids bounce off the walls from the sugar and artificial color?
Life is an experiment to be lived. One could talk to me until they were blue-in-the face yet, I've got to experience it.. then, I'll learn. Maybe your kids do too.
Raw Angel Mom
10-17-2008, 08:40 AM
I hear you but we need to do our best to inspire others and not to force them. Perhaps send study, article etc... or even some testimony after changing their diet.
Keep in mind that our attitude is 50% of our health. I have seen poeple smoking and live past 100 years old. Actually two sisters and a brother,this make you think about our stress level.
My friend knows better and she contintue to buy McDonald food for her and her daughter, but she does make room for the good stuff.
Hoping your cousins will know better and feel inspire to do better. You can always suggest her to buy organic meat or food. You should check the Oprah show that was on this week. They were showing the difference of an animal raise free range and from corporation.
I have been vegetarian for 9 years and raw vegan for one year and half. You can also get them some DVD.
This sort of thing came up (at home) in conversation with my stepkids, and we had a lot of really frank conversations about EVERYthing at the dinner table.
We talked about how people might sometimes HEAR about something, but they just don't understand or maybe even don't want to understand. And how the decisions we make are for health, and it's because we have had the opportunity to UNDERSTAND how good green smoothies and healthy foods make us feel. But it is not our place to be the parent of kids at school, so there is no need to discuss it with them.
I like to use kid-friendly analogies so they understand, too. So, say your 5-year old has just learned to read or whatever thing the 5-year old has learned ... and your 8-year old has probably recently learned division or at least multiplication. You could talk to them about how they KNEW about division and reading, but it took time to UNDERSTAND. And how those other family members do not love their kids any less just because they don't understand about how much the food can help or hurt kids now or over time.
same way i deal with discipline issues, "why is so and so allowed to _____ but i'm not?" my answer is that i'm not their mother, i'm yours and i have to do what I think is best for you, to do my best for you. for everyone the best is something different and that's ok. i think this is a great lesson about tolerance and differences too. like i don't lie to my kids about santa claus but they know other kids believe in that and they accept it and don't spoil it for others. same with diet, though i have heard from other parents from my son's class that their kids have started asking "is that an animal?" at dinner time so there you go, teaching by setting an example is huge and effortless.
10-17-2008, 12:17 PM
I just say..remember when we ate meat and drank milk? We thought we were being healthy and learned better. They just haven't learned that yet. We try not to focus so much on it. We just bring our own food. Or choose from their veggies if they have some. We like the socialization and want to be a part of people's lives. We don't want to tell people how bad their food is because we don't like it when people tell us how our food is weird. If they want to know about eating healthly they will ask and we will be glad to tell them about it.
This Thanksgiving we are going to the grandparents house. I let him have cooked corn on the cob with coconut oil last year. So we are sharing that one thing with everyone. A few times a year I will make an exception like that. But it has to be something simple like steamed veggies because he will get sick and feel yucky afterwards.
So, pick your battles and try not to make your kids be a raw food teacher to everyone they meet. I found with my son. He really doesn't want to have to educate everyone. He just wants to hang out with them and have fun.
10-20-2008, 11:36 AM
I agree with what everyone else has said about people just not understanding. I spent my whole life on the standard American diet, because I didn't know any better.
I spent tons of time researching how to achieve optimal health and a stronger immune system, but I still continued to eat badly. I just didn't know!
And that's people's problem in this country..we just don't know. No one teaches us that processed food, even 'healthy' things like high fiber breakfast cereals, are bad for us...we're tricked into thinking these things are good, and that we're doing ourselves a favor! If people knew the truth imagine the chaos that would happen from all these companies going belly up that make processed food.
We live in a country where we are basically lied to by the government about what a 'healthy' diet is. And cuz of that, people just don't know any better.
So it's best to just be gracious to these people who are ingorant, because the nicer you are, the more accepting they will be towards your way of eating and living. Force and anger never achieves anything! (I'm preaching to myself here :))
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