Horrifying Realization...

[MiahTay]

I am preparing to start a cleanse on Monday and whenever I do this I always turn inward. Well the process for me started this morning and I realized something that has shaken me to my core. I use food to make people like me - at least that is how it is twisted in my head. If I know they like something special I go out of my way to make it for them. Am I afraid people won't like me for me!!! Am I afraid people won't like me without FOOD! This is NOT good. Wow, anyway ... I just wanted to share with someone who MAYBE won't think I'm crazy ... 'cuz I'm sure not ready to share with the people I've been feeding! This realization almost causes a panic feeling inside me. I can't even believe this... Ok, I really am ok, and I am glad I have come to this but this is going to be a hard one for me to work through.

Thanks for listening,
Heather

[shashibala]

Don't be afraid! This is one of those hurdles that we face when on a journey into ourselves. I remember realizing how I had involved my daughter in my eating addiction by using our together times to feed my food desires. I was shocked and appalled at myself. I have now become able to enjoy food with her socially while sticking to my food choices. Food is so tricky because it is everywhere, it is emotional, it is social, and most of us need it. You will also find a balance in time. I found that the increased self esteem that has come from caring for myself well has helped me not be worried about pleasing others as much. Giving people food to make them happy is a fine thing. It's just your sense of yourself that needs to be separated from the gift! It's a process, a journey and you are doing great! Many Blessings to you!

[Dimond]

You're not alone. Many people are like this with food or other things they can do for others. I personally don't think you should worry about others, but if you want, how about sharing your raw food creations instead? You can impress people with how good raw tastes and it's good for you.

Best, of course, to let people like you for you. I bet you can do it. Stay strong and realize you have much more to offer than food. :) Besides you'll find out who truly likes and cares about you. It could end up being even more rewarding. You only need a small selection of true friends, rather than a large amount of shallow ones.

[Revvell]

Let's take the drama out of it and turn it into a celebration! It's not horrifying to realize something about oneself. What's more horrifying for me is when I DON'T realize something and keep doing it and wondering what's wrong with this picture?

Congratulations!!! No, you're not crazy! Realizations like this is what keeps people like me in business. My students/clients can tell you all KINDS of things they've realized during our sessions.

So! Time to Celebrate!!! As far as how long it takes to work through, do some journaling. For instance, write down this sentence and complete it w/ 6-10 difference endings:

"One reason I use food to make people like me is...."

There are other sentence stems I could come up with but, that's a start I think.

Now, start the party! (and remember, always, play with your food!)

Revvell

[Emma-Liza]

Revvell just wrote what I was about to write, only, you know, better than I would have! And I love the fill in the blank exercise.

Miahtay, this is a wonderful thing to have illuminated for you! You are a caring person and you are getting to the core of how you go about expressing your care and what your expectations are. This is important stuff!

[Thick]

So! Time to Celebrate!!! As far as how long it takes to work through, do some journaling. For instance, write down this sentence and complete it w/ 6-10 difference endings:

"One reason I use food to make people like me is...."

There are other sentence stems I could come up with but, that's a start I think.

Now, start the party! (and remember, always, play with your food!)

Revvell

Wow, Revvell, that is the most wonderful advice, I am very grateful! I will be using this in many areas of my growth, Thank you very much!

And Miahtay.. perhaps you are feeling panicked about not nuturing yourself as well, hmm? Maybe think of some other planned nurturing you can do during your fast for yourself--and for the others you nurture, too=)

[HolyGuacamole]

Yup, realizing things about yourself is good.
Congratulations!

[RawHeaven]

Let's take the drama out of it and turn it into a celebration! It's not horrifying to realize something about oneself. What's more horrifying for me is when I DON'T realize something and keep doing it and wondering what's wrong with this picture?

Congratulations!!! No, you're not crazy! Realizations like this is what keeps people like me in business. My students/clients can tell you all KINDS of things they've realized during our sessions.

So! Time to Celebrate!!! As far as how long it takes to work through, do some journaling. For instance, write down this sentence and complete it w/ 6-10 difference endings:

"One reason I use food to make people like me is...."

There are other sentence stems I could come up with but, that's a start I think.

Now, start the party! (and remember, always, play with your food!)

Revvell

Revvell, this is is very helpful to me too. Thank you!

Heather, realizations are wonderful. Once you know....poof then the energy is transmuted and you can begin focusing on healing. Best wishes with your master cleanse and on your raw journey. I'm sure you will gain even more clarity on the MC. Blessings.

[Revvell]

Yer all welcome. Hoping it helps the OP as well. :)

Ahhh!!! Light bulb just went off. Instead of "horrifying" how about the word "enlightening"???

For me, an AHA moment lightens the load (well, sometimes gotta work through the stuff BUT, it gives me something to work with!)

[MiahTay]

Yer all welcome. Hoping it helps the OP as well. :)

Ahhh!!! Light bulb just went off. Instead of "horrifying" how about the word "enlightening"???

For me, an AHA moment lightens the load (well, sometimes gotta work through the stuff BUT, it gives me something to work with!)

Revvell - thank you for your words of wisdom. Yes of course it is a wonderful thing that this has come to light for me ... the horrifying part is that I have lived like this. I have known that I have had an unhealthy relationship with food and I suppose this is the natural progression of growth that since I have been correcting MY relationship with food it would naturally progress with my relationship to others regarding food. And thank you for the homework assignment, at first glance I don't like the truth of the matter but enlightenment is good - right? :o

Everyone thank you ALL so much for your words of encouragement. It truly means SO much that you care.

Blessings,
Heather

[Crazy Healer Lady]

Aw hun, I feel for you. It's tough what you're going through, but it's worth it.

I work as an energy healer, and in my custom, one of the aspects that we work with is called the Shadow Self. This is the side of ourselves that we hide from ourselves. All the dirty secrets, the shame, the secret joys. We hide it because we don't want to look at it. In the process of healing, we illumintate the shadow side bit by bit. We bring those parts of ourselves into the light and look at it with honour and beauty. We see these parts of ourselves and love them. Yes, in the process it may be painful. It can be very painful to relive pain of loss, to grieve past ways of living, but it is so beneficial and so healing. Remember to love yourself for all that you do. Every bit of it, even the bits that seem wrong. Love every step of the way, because the moment you cast it away for fear and hatred, you cast it back into the shadow.

You're doing wonderfully and I am so happy for you in your progression. Much love,
-CHL

[Ilse W.]

I use food to make people like me - at least that is how it is twisted in my head. If I know they like something special I go out of my way to make it for them. Am I afraid people won't like me for me!!! Am I afraid people won't like me without FOOD! This is NOT good.

I will go out of my way to make special things for people when I know what they like. I don't do it because I want to make them like me. THEY ALREADY LIKE ME, OR THEY WOULD NOT COME TO MY HOUSE TO EAT. I do it, because it makes me feel good to make others happy. My friends and family love my cooking, especially German food I make. I happily cook it for them. They like me ANYWAY!:D

[Imani]

I feel bad if I do not eat with folks and even if I know it is not good, like pigs eyes....Well not that bad hahaha. I want to live my way, and I feel... is this elitist? So I will eat what you put infront of me or I will make what I think you like to eat amd eat what ever it is with you. I am working this down. I started a raw food meetup and I meet once a month with rawfood enthusiastics. This way I can give you food you and I love the food also... raw. I feel like I am shunning my culture. I have changed every soul food to be better, sweet potatoes with olive oil baked, now raw!!!!!!!!!!! No one will come to dinner for the holiday. Not so, they will come sooner or later, they come for family love and the learn to love the raw also. They say it is not soo bad. Then they say whats this what was that. Later in the year they say can you make some more of this or that. It only took a little time. I feared loosing the connection with my family. I always felt so isolated, because we always eat differently in our family. Real maple syrup, brown rice. Now raw, it was a natural progression. Scary but natural.
Imani