Zaphirah
08-25-2008, 06:43 AM
My original title was going to be "crawling back to raw". but I thought that gave off quite a negative vibe. I should be happy that I am raw again. I AM happy to be back. Today is day 1 100% (again). I'm not going to start over with the counting. Even tho I screwed up, I still considered myself a raw vegan.
I watched The Secret for the first time 2 nights ago. I was drifting off to sleep while dh was watching it and just as I entered that weird 1/2 awake/ 1/2 dreaming state I heard these words "You are the architect of your own life...and body."
I felt those words saturate my heart.
Wow.
I have always been a victim to my circumstances. I have tried to make the best of it, but at the same time I felt I was fighting against something, in order to make something out of my life. Same thing with my food disorder and my flabby body.
It's probably something that most everyone was born knowing, but it just never occurred to me that I AM THE ARCHITECT of my own LIFE and BODY.
With each food choice I make, I am learning to say those words before I take a bite, to help evaluate whether or not this is the best choice for where I want to be.
Sorry if I am rambling-but prior to this I felt a slave to my food addiction/binging/cravings. They truly did seem MORE POWERFUL than I. I think things like OA's first step "Admit I am POWERLESS over food" really set me up for failure. I thought there was NO WAY OUT but to struggle and fail, struggle, do well for a bit, then fail.
Today I have a renewed hope for my life and my body. I could be smokin' hot-if *I* want to.
I can do this. I know I can.
I watched The Secret for the first time 2 nights ago. I was drifting off to sleep while dh was watching it and just as I entered that weird 1/2 awake/ 1/2 dreaming state I heard these words "You are the architect of your own life...and body."
I felt those words saturate my heart.
Wow.
I have always been a victim to my circumstances. I have tried to make the best of it, but at the same time I felt I was fighting against something, in order to make something out of my life. Same thing with my food disorder and my flabby body.
It's probably something that most everyone was born knowing, but it just never occurred to me that I AM THE ARCHITECT of my own LIFE and BODY.
With each food choice I make, I am learning to say those words before I take a bite, to help evaluate whether or not this is the best choice for where I want to be.
Sorry if I am rambling-but prior to this I felt a slave to my food addiction/binging/cravings. They truly did seem MORE POWERFUL than I. I think things like OA's first step "Admit I am POWERLESS over food" really set me up for failure. I thought there was NO WAY OUT but to struggle and fail, struggle, do well for a bit, then fail.
Today I have a renewed hope for my life and my body. I could be smokin' hot-if *I* want to.
I can do this. I know I can.