I almost cant take it anymore

[Live Free]

I have been doing great eating mostly raw since December 2005. But my husband insists on bringing home fast food and fish.

I am drawn to french fries and flounder. I have also been wanting to eat tofu lately. I really like the versitility of tofu.

I was ready to give up yesterday, I just cant take the temptation anymore. I really love eating raw foods, but there are just sometimes that I want to eat what he is eating.

I have never been a huge meat eater or lover but anything from the sea is difficult for me to give up. The Vietnamese make killer fish dishes. They are mostly a fish eating culture.

I have not been wanting to eat greens lately either. Which is weird for me. I have just been wanting to eat fruit.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Teresa
Live Free

[VeganVixen]

hmm , well you could either try NOT giving in ,or you could allow "treats"-if thats what you REALLY want ,to transition -just do it responsably AND DON'T binge ,also if you do decide to have cooked every now and then,try to make it as healthy as possible....

[Fuzzball]

I know exactly what you're talking about...my kids will make my favorite soup in front of me (bean with bacon)....it's HARD to walk away from that...

I have been a really bad boy lately...mainly because I haven't done the work necessary to have snacks readily available...I'm going to do that this weekend...hopefully it'll take care of those cravings for me..

[VeganVixen]

the best way to stay raw ,other than will power and looking beyond the present and aknowledging the effects of food , is to have LOTS of options ;)

[Carlene]

Live Free,

How can you give up? If you have to have a taste of fish, have it. That doesn't mean you failed, it doesn't mean you can't be all raw tomorrow. It's not like your on Weight Watchers and have to confess to the group you ate a piece of cake and now you have to publicly be humiliated for gaining a pound. If you like raw, be raw, if you have to eat that piece of fish, enjoy it, and then be raw again as soon as your done chewing.

If you've been raw since December then you know how great it is. Why worry so much? I have set a three day rule for myself. If I crave something drastically for three days in a row. I get to have it. There is no eating other non-raw things to satisfy the craving, I just get to eat the one thing I crave and then when I'm done, I'm raw again. No guilt, no tirade of what a failure I am, no fear of coming to the forum and having to fess up (although I'm sure I will in my journal). Raw is supposed to make our lives better, happier, no one enjoys sacrifice. I say eat the fish, and then have fruit for desert.

I've only had one bad day of craving so far. I purposely ate more fat and protein that day to make sure I wasn't just craving calories. By the next morning, it had passed.

[twinyoga]

I agree with the last post. If you are truely craving something, than have a taste or a meal. That doesn't mean that you're not raw. Just relax. Your cravings won't seem so bad if you have the right attitude.

[Punky]

Live Free,

How can you give up? If you have to have a taste of fish, have it. That doesn't mean you failed, it doesn't mean you can't be all raw tomorrow. It's not like your on Weight Watchers and have to confess to the group you ate a piece of cake and now you have to publicly be humiliated for gaining a pound. If you like raw, be raw, if you have to eat that piece of fish, enjoy it, and then be raw again as soon as your done chewing.

If you've been raw since December then you know how great it is. Why worry so much? I have set a three day rule for myself. If I crave something drastically for three days in a row. I get to have it. There is no eating other non-raw things to satisfy the craving, I just get to eat the one thing I crave and then when I'm done, I'm raw again. No guilt, no tirade of what a failure I am, no fear of coming to the forum and having to fess up (although I'm sure I will in my journal). Raw is supposed to make our lives better, happier, no one enjoys sacrifice. I say eat the fish, and then have fruit for desert.

I've only had one bad day of craving so far. I purposely ate more fat and protein that day to make sure I wasn't just craving calories. By the next morning, it had passed.


I agree with Carlene:s advice too.
I take it your husband is Vietnamese...so is my mom...
i just picked up my boys since she babysat today and she
had cooked some great Vietnamese dish that smelled so good.
Their food is one of the healthier cuisines in general if that helps
with your guilt.

[RawTruth]

Hi Teresa - okay, you asked for some thoughts, so here goes!


I have been doing great eating mostly raw since December 2005. But my husband insists on bringing home fast food and fish.

I am drawn to french fries and flounder. I have also been wanting to eat tofu lately. I really like the versitility of tofu.Look up the wealth of information on how bad soy products are for you. That should chase tofu out of your head. :D


I was ready to give up yesterday, I just cant take the temptation anymore. I really love eating raw foods, but there are just sometimes that I want to eat what he is eating. It must be such a challenge to have someone bring that stuff right into your kitchen. I know there are numerous people here on this forum who live with cooked food eaters, some of which actually prepare the cooked food for them. They do have tricks to stay raw like eating first, making sure they're full when the cooked food is around. Someone a long time ago talked about using mind tricks -- imagining that food as the poison that it actually is ... or even more disgusting visual images which I don't want to go into here!! Use your imagination!

I say -- Think of that as the little girl inside of you who wants this junk "no matter what" -- you're the wiser adult who knows better than to give in. Just tell her that you're doing what's best for her in the long run. IIf you actually had a 3 yr old who was begging for a lollipop, you'd surely hand her a banana instead ... or a handful of juicy ripe cherries. Well, you get the idea!) Also, Revvell gave some good advice in another, similar, thread. She says that when she has a craving, she eats something raw. If she still craves it, she eats something else raw. I may be wrong about this next step, so she'll have to correct me -- but, I think that if after that she still wants it, she just eats it. That's it. It's over. Then go back to eating raw.


I have not been wanting to eat greens lately either. Which is weird for me. I have just been wanting to eat fruit. Then eat fruit! :D Have you read the websites or stories of long time raw foodists -- or even Alissa's typical food she eats that she describes in her book? It's mostly fruit. Also -- something to think about is that our bodies, when we've purified them by being 100% raw for a significant period of time -- adapt to the seasons. And, what's more natural during summer than to eat fruit?

Do you have plenty of raw food books? Now's the time to reread them to re-energize your commitment.

What may help you right now, also, is to search for and read Alissa's posts on here. They're always inspirational and grounded in rock-solid experience from her own life and that of mentoring and leading many people in being and staying totally raw.

Best of luck. Despite what we all have to say to you, I have no doubt that you'll find your own unique answer to this temporarily-trying time.

[Revvell]

RT is correct in what I'd said except for the part about "I" eat it. It's what I suggested another do. lol

Thing is, there's a part of us which feels it can NEVER have what it's craving again. This is not the body craving, it's the monkey mind craving. The body craves pure, raw foods. The monkey mind (lil chattering thing in your head) wants what it knows and has known. It doesn't matter if it's REALLY good for you or not ~ it wants what's familiar.

What you've done is hit an upper limit. You can push on through that upper limit ~ or not. You can also see how, after all this time of being raw, the food affects you if you choose to eat it. Does it bring you comfort? IF you eat it, you might be feeling guilty which will remove the pleasure ~ if there is any.

Yanno, people tend to eat for taste also ~ instead of nourishment. Make sure all the tastes are satisfied in your meals. These would be: Sweet, sour, salty, pungent, bitter and astringent.

Most of all, if you choose to eat as your husband does, don't beat yourself up about it. That would interfere with digestion and it's not going to make a difference. Wheneveryou wish to, eat more raw until you get back to 100% ~ (if that's where you are) ~ or wherever you are.

Injoy ~

Revvell

[Live Free]

I think that my husband does this food stuff to me on purpose. If you knew him, you might think that too. I dont think that he is thrilled that I am eating more raw foods, and no meat.

He wants it to go back to the way it was before. I just cant think that I can go back totally to the way I ate before going Raw.

I can eat something that I find appealing and then go back to raw without any side affects. Like I wont just keep eating and eating the cooked food. It just isnt me.

I am annoyed with this so called cravings because I am not a person who lets things control me. That is why I never smoked or did drugs.

Once I eat something that I crave, then the craving goes away and then I am fine for awhile. If the food doesnt taste like I remembered and I no longer like the way it makes me feel. That just helps me to avoid it the next time.

Thank you everyone.

Teresa and Mae
http://www.angelfire.com/in4/everything4m/ourfamily

[sweetgoddess]

Teresa, I am just wondering, have you talked to your husband about all this? ABout why you are doing this and what kind of support you would like to see from him, how he can support you, how much you appreciate it, etc?

SOmetimes, people need things spelled out to them, and open, honest communication, well nothing beats that.

[catherinethegreat]

my boyfriend LOVES fast food. Sometimes I don't care if it's in the house and sometimes I'm totally offended and want to kick him to the curb! haha

Now I've communicated that I LOVE fast food and CHocolate and if it's around me I will eat it. Simple as that.

So now he calls me on his way home from work if he is in the mood for fast food and ASKS me if it's ok - and tells me that he doesn't want to hurt me in any way.

I LOVE that he does that now.

So I make sure I have eaten before he gets home
and if I haven't and am tempted I tell him I'm craving it and don't want it and he will eat it in the car on his drive home or I will go in the office and work and let him eat in the other room.

I think the smells of cooked food are REALLY hard to deal with in my opinion.

Also - Every humans make up is so different that maybe your body is craving fish because it needs something in it? Who knows really.

Revvel had a good comment about the monkey mind and what your body truely craves.

I notice that what I am craving is to fit in - to not have an "issue" - to be easy - to not fuss - to not have restrictions - etc....all that gets in the way of what my body needs as well. Not sure if that is true for you or not - but it can be a social thing as much as it is a food craving.

[Live Free]

Sweetgoddess

Yes, my husband knows why I am trying to eat more raw foods, but I still dont think that matters to him.

He supports me in my efforts to stay raw by letting me spend whatever I need to on food.

But realistically, he would rather have me get old with him. He said that the Olympics in London. My baby will be around 8 years old and my husband said he would be OLD. I told him I wont be OLD.

What else can I say. I wish I could comment on the need for communication in our relationship, but there really isnt anything to comment on.

Teresa

[sweetgoddess]

Teresa, I am truly sorry. I only brought it up because I know what a startling revelation it was for me when I realized my husband cant read my mind and truly needs clear voiced steps on what I need from him. I just wondered if maybe your husband doesnt really KNOW what he can do to support you more.

If that is the best he can do then so be it. Then I suppose you need to blaze your own trail around there. Though I know it isnt the same, you have all of us for support and you are a GODDESS. You can do anything.
And, down the road, you never know what your husband might do....I have seen my husband recently eating fruit every morning...he has always lived on absolute junk. This is just from months of watching and listening to me.
Blessings~

[Live Free]

Thanks sweetgoddess.

you all are a true blessing and I think of all of you as my friends.

God bless you

Teresa and Mae

[Sharon in Colorado]

Are you concerned that if you eat something cooked, you might start craving cooked more? This doesn't happen to everyone, but it is usually how I end up eating cooked. It's always a little bit at first, then I go back to raw for a while, then a little more cooked, then raw, and before I know it I'm eating more cooked than raw. So, if you think that giving into your craving might result negatively, I'd advise staying all raw.

[Live Free]

No Sharon I am not afraid of that at all. I really dont care for the cooked food as much. I dont contiune to eat it. I just eat a few things here and there and then I go back to eat all raw.

If I have something to make I will eat all raw, but if I dont I will ususally have some veggies and or Vietnamese soup with vegetables.

Teresa

[Arky]

Your post raises a number of points:

Your husband is entitled to eat whatever he wishes to eat but if he wishes to eat food which he knows to be tempting to you, then it would be respectful, and civil, of him to make efforts to do so discretely rather than 'rubbing your nose in it', so-to-speak.

With deference to the above point, I would nonethless point out that cognitive dissonance means that it is often easier for people to attempt to bring others' behaviours into alignment with their own behaviours, even if these are, perhaps, less healthy than yours, rather than challenge, and attempt to change, their own behaviours to align with yours. (Please note, though, that I am not saying that your husband's particular habits and behaviours are any more, or less, healthy than your own)

Though it may not be a popular viewpoint on these forums, the truth is that eating a small proportion of cooked food is not necessarily an unhealthy thing to do. If this is really tormenting you, then while I would of course support your wish to 'remain raw', there must sometimes come a critical point where it is more psychologically-unhealthy to remain 100% raw than it would be to remain 90% raw and save your sanity. Psychological health is every bit as important as physical health, a fact many raw-foodists often seem to forget. I know this is an unpopular viewpoint, here, but I am a realist and I believe each individual must do whatever it takes to be their healthiest both physically and psychologically, if they are to enjoy life to the full, which is, after all, what a healthy lifestyle aims to promote, isn't it? Call me crazy, but I'd rather be 90% physically healthy (in, admittedly-over-simplistic, dietary-only terms) and 90% psychologically-healthy, than suffer the torment of being only 60% psychologically-healthy in order to be (supposedly) 100% physically-healthy, from a dietary standpoint. Diet is only a fraction of the wholistic health picture.

Good luck, I hope you manage to find, or stick to, your ideal path.


Let me make it absolutely clear that I personally strive to make my diet as 'raw' as possible, but with the proviso that doing so does not impinge upon my sanity. The day a Raw diet becomes an obsession, and an end, in itself, is the day it has failed to serve any useful purpose in my life (I'll keep you posted! lol ;) )


J.

[catherinethegreat]

John - that was a perfect point!

Thanks for posting all of that.

Love it.

*c

[MaxMarie]

Don't beat yourself up about it. I've had a frantic busy month. I haven't been able to get to Whole Foods or Trader Joes to buy good groceries. I've had to make due with the Arabic market around the corner. They just don't have the produce I need. After a couple of weeks I found myself CRAVING chicken. I've been veggie for 12 years! Where'd that come from?

So I made a detailed journal of how I felt pre-chicken. Then I bought a tiny serving of ready cooked chicken and chronicled how I felt afterwards. It took me days to recover. I was tired. I had a lot of trouble waking up. I had a huge eruption of eczema. The list goes on and on.

Keeping track will help keep you giving in.

[pfc]

I have no idea if it will help, but when it comes to cooked food smells I have, in my successful moments (which are more and more frequent!) decided to enjoy the smell, imagine it as a beautiful flower, that one can enjoy smelling, but one would not choose to eat! It's a little odd, but it's like I gave myself permission to enjoy the food somehow and that let me move on.
If that isn't working I usually remove myself from the situation, and try to breathe deeply in the freshest air I can get into and refocus my attention on something else.
(Note: I work with many people from India and I LOVE INDIAN FOOD. They all bring their lunch in every day and heat it up in the microwave...you get the picture...)

[CAdreamer]

When I was young, we had a neighbor who had been exposed to mustard gas in the war. It destroyed his sense of smell and taste. He didn't enjoy eating anything and it showed. He was ultra thin, and ate only to survive. Everything tasted the same, and when he came for dinner, he sometimes had to ask what the food tasted like so that he could compare it to something he remembered.

If our food senses are alive, and we've experienced many pleasant flavors, and smells in life, it is hard to have those familiar foods around and not cave in to eating them. Fortunately, my husband is raw, so I don't have to deal with that. Also, I am not in the workplace where eating out, or even with others in a lunchroom, can be tempting. I live in the country and don't have all of the fast food smells wafting in the air to lure me. But...I can smell KFC even now as I sit at the computer. I can smell Taco Bell, too, or Burger King.
even fresh bread from the oven....those are lingering memories of favorite foods and are impressed on my Mind. Celery, cucumber, and greens don't quite have rthe same impact. While pleasant, they are not strong and 'pulling'.
You can smell a great stew before you open the front door, but a salad is a subtle smell.

[Texicalian]

PFC and CADreamer - very cool - I was thinking earlier this week about the smell of cooked food in relation to essential oils (EOs). EOs are the "life blood" of the plant and are what cause the plant to smell. So when we smell food cooking, essentially we are smelling its "life blood" as it leaves the food! Also, 90% of taste is smell, so when we smell cooked food we're getting a high percentage of the experience of it.

[RawTruth]

I was talking about this with a raw friend over the weekend. I think I may possibly react to the smell of cooked foods for the rest of my life. Since, up until 6 months ago, I ate cooked food, the Pavlovian response may be hard-wired into my brain. For me, this is just facing reality. I just figure that every time I have an olfactory memory, I'll continue countering it with my self-talk: nothing cooked tastes as good as raw feels (borrowed from a forum signature); my body is detoxed and the cooked food will hit me like a ton of bricks; I make good choices every day, and this is one of them -- I am choosing raw despite the fact that the aromas smell good to me.

[Live Free]

My husband decided to give my baby some beef the other day from his steak and mushroom sub.

I was very annoyed with him, he didnt even ask if he could give her beef. He just did it. She instantly wanted to eat more of the meat. Which I said it is necessary to give her beef? I really had to say something because this keeps continuing.

He said it was only a little bit, well a little bit and a little bit add up to be alot. He just smirked and made my baby wish she could eat more meat. I stopped him.

if she never had the taste of meat in her head, then she wouldnt ever want to eat it. Or have addictions to it. It would be better for her.

It seems to me that he doesnt trust my judgement on what to feed my baby, or the lack of respect for me and my wishes. (#1) is basically it.

Do you have any suggestions? I am very fustrated. I just want to be a family and do things as a family. but I dont want to have food be our connection as a family.

Teresa and Mae
Live Free

[tracyinfo]

Teresa, this can be a very difficult issue. At some point you will have to talk with each other and come to some kind of agreement. It could be all your way, or all his way, or something in between. There is a book out there that I have heard quite a bit of good things, called "Living with a meat eater". I forget who the auther is. I would recommmend reading that book, just from what other have said.

Blessings.


My husband decided to give my baby some beef the other day from his steak and mushroom sub.

I was very annoyed with him, he didnt even ask if he could give her beef. He just did it. She instantly wanted to eat more of the meat. Which I said it is necessary to give her beef? I really had to say something because this keeps continuing.

He said it was only a little bit, well a little bit and a little bit add up to be alot. He just smirked and made my baby wish she could eat more meat. I stopped him.

if she never had the taste of meat in her head, then she wouldnt ever want to eat it. Or have addictions to it. It would be better for her.

It seems to me that he doesnt trust my judgement on what to feed my baby, or the lack of respect for me and my wishes. (#1) is basically it.

Do you have any suggestions? I am very fustrated. I just want to be a family and do things as a family. but I dont want to have food be our connection as a family.

Teresa and Mae
Live Free

[PeatrixPotter]

I am remembering something from Alissa's book that said cooked food is like an addiction, and that if you are eating even a small amount, your cravings for it will still be intense. So going 100% might help you with your cravings.

Peatrix :)