View Full Version : Dealing With Others Who Dont Help
07-17-2008, 02:34 PM
Hello, all. I was eating pretty dang well until I met my fiance 4 years ago and then I started cooking to please him. He likes meat, pasta, cheese. So I gained some weight and had allergic symptoms, etc. Then I decided to move and got stressed and gained some more weight. I transitioned after I got here with Paleo and now am raw. But my boyfriend's selling his house and moving out and sometimes I'm worried about as much as I'm happy. He never verbally criticised any of my food, cooked or raw, it was just how happy he'd look eating pasta and meat and cheese. And sometimes he'd barely touch the healthy stuff. He, my daughter and my mother all have weight issues and I really want to lose all the weight I gained and feel good in my own skin. At work people who are waaaaaay heavier than I am sometimes make jokes about my raw food snacks and lunches.
07-17-2008, 02:52 PM
Congrats on being raw!!! I agree it's difficult when others around you are eating cooked foods.
You may just have to make food for yourself and let your bf fend for himself if he wants meat and cooked food. If your daughter is young then she eats what you eat, if she's older, she can fend for herself as well.
I really believe it grows on people around you. I just do my own thing and don't talk about it unless people ask and I've had so many people I work with tell me they are eating healthier. I have friends and relatives dipping their feet in raw at the moment. Your bf and daughter may never be raw or vegan but if they eat a few more fruits and veggies it's better than nothing, right? I think it's extremely important to set a good example for your daughter.
Stick w/ it, you know it's worth it! Best wishes.
07-17-2008, 02:59 PM
The main reason we started juicing was because all my husband would eat was meat and cheese. I was worried he was not getting enough nutrition from veggies.
Here we are three years later and he is a Vegan and my son and I are both Raw. We didn't think we could eat this healthy but with starting to juice everyday put us on the right path.
My husband lost 100 pounds and I lost 50. My son actually needed to gain weight and now he is more filled out and healthy.
Just start juicing for him and see what that will do. No one can refuse fresh juice.
07-17-2008, 03:49 PM
M husband is not raw. He ate a Thickburger yesterday and I could have spanked his butt. :eek: He doesn't eat garbage-wont' touch cheese and ice cream-mucus. He likes his sweets and my morning smoothies. Has to have one. I gained some weight when I married-two different eating styles-I wasn't raw then. He ate a lot of fast food and I didn't. Cut way back on it. He doesn't do sodas, pizza, french fries, potato chips, candy bars, the typical junk. Not a big meat eater. He will eat a lot of cooked veggies and raw veggies on a salad. I figure he is on his own path and will just see my health benefits and will make a change someday.:) I make salads for him and his eating habits don't tempt me.
07-17-2008, 03:57 PM
I just keep making the healthy stuff and they keep saying -- "Oooo -- your slads look so good..."
07-17-2008, 05:23 PM
My daughter (who's 17) is getting interested. I left some books lying around with some photos of really yummy looking smoothies and puddings. She loves that stuff but I refuse to make it with dairy. So I made her coconut and fruit versions and she (after years of telling me she didn't care about her weight and making fun of my food) tells me she wants "in." But she's dealing with cravings big time. And I really want her to stick this out and for us both to lose weight and get healthy.
My boyfriend says if I lose weight he'll try it - a little. Just the "good stuff." He's about 300 pounds.
Really, I just have to ignore what others think and say and do my own thing, as you all are suggesting. I don't want bread anymore, which is amazing, because it's been my biggest weakness for years, despite making me feel gassy and tired. And I don't even like pasta and cheese. It's just that whenever I've cooked for them and uncooked for me eventually I'd just give up being the different one.
I did finally tell my boyfriend, who lives in Virginia that I was very sad when I saw how much weight he gained since the last time he came to visit me in Oregon. I told him I couldn't eat the way he did because I was tired of being fat and miserable. I told him I was afraid he was killing himself and hoped he stopped eating that way, too. To my surprise, even though he's not been super truthful about what he eats with me in the past, he wasn't mad at me and thanked me for telling him. That was a week ago and we've talked pleasantly every night since then. I'm wondering why we never had this conversation before. A lot of times I'm so afraid of confrontation I put stuff off way longer than I should. I've been married and divorced before and I guess I'm skittish. It's really nice to hear that other women still eat raw while their husbands eat the meat and potatoes diet. And they're still married!
Do you find that saying anything about your loved ones' diets does any good? My daughter binges. She's pretty and incredibly smart and I worry that she is also cutting short what could be a charmed life by sitting in front of the tv eating whatever she can find by the handful. I don't buy junk but somehow she makes junk out of our food and (even though we live out in the middle of nowhere) manages to find cheese crackers, chips and that horrible green soda that actually has antifreeze in it! I find her reactions to what I make baffling - she won't touch some food, not even a taste - and will eat enough of other things I make for both of us for two days. I don't know how to handle this yet so I am saying nothing. We've had a better relationship over the past few weeks than we have in years so I am afraid to spoil it!!!
My son (who is skinny) and I talked this morning. He still lives in Virginia and he is astonished she is on a diet of sorts and doesn't really have any advice for me about how to proceed. He's also too silent in his relationships and is afraid to spoil it if he says anything.
Until I found rawfoodtalk.com I figured I'd just try to be patient and keep making yummy food and hope it all works out. But now of course, I'm hoping some of you are dealing with similar food issues in your families and have stories to share that may help.
Thank you for your comments!
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