View Full Version : Isolation?
06-29-2005, 10:56 PM
Does anyone else feel this lifestyle to be isolating? I am the only one I know who follows it besides everyone here, but online messages can only do so much for your social life. LOL!
My friends in NYC are already making plans for the holiday weekend and they all include drinking, smoking, and lots of unhealthy food. I am already worried that I will be miserable. I don't hold it against my friends. Afterall, that was me once upon a time. But now I am different. I really want to make new friends, but I am not sure how.
So many people here seem like they live on the west coast. It's not like I can call people up and go to a raw restaurant.
Anyway, sorry to whine. It can just be lonely to be healthy these days.
06-29-2005, 11:09 PM
Please I'm 23 yrs old...I AM a smoker :rolleyes: oops i know ...It is very hard .....I live in florida very hot,very beachy, and lots of alcohol......ha I am a bartender too!...Well I don't like to drink all the time ..but I'm the type o go out maybe 2x a month and drink like I will never see a drink again! :p ...but I always feel aweful afterwards~I have to remember that......This is what hold me back...I think hmm being a raw vegan- Does this mean no more social life..never having a drink again ...It's not the end of the world- but sometimes I do have a great time :cool: ..but ah well
I really do understand....I don't tell my friends what I'm doing because I know the reaction...but I need to try it for a while...if I don't I'll keep thinking about doing it and never do it ....
wow did I make any sense :confused:
06-29-2005, 11:35 PM
It's hard to be different, but that shouldn't exclude you from activities with your friends...take your own food and bev's, and join in the rest of the fun. However, if food, alcohol, and smoking is all there is to your friendships, then you need to make a change and find people who are not so shallow... and with whom there is a wealth of laughter, fun, talking, giving, and sharing common interests.
06-30-2005, 12:01 AM
What's up with planning for the Nov/Dec holidays??? This must be the 3rd of 4th thread. It is only June! Maybe, I cannot think that far ahead because I have children???
Anyway, JumpinJax, there are plenty of east coasters on this forum. NYC has some raw restaurants!!!
But, I do understand about friends: getting together, heading out to some stinkin' restaurant that serves dead carcasses, drinking up a storm, etc... Right now, I either don't go, or I find out if the restaurant has at least a decent salad.
I do treat myself to a raw restaurant adventure as often as I want. That helps alot. Sometimes, I bring one of children with me, and other times, I invite a good friend. One time, I even posted in the classified/events forum about meeting up with a group of people at a local raw restaurant. It turned out very successfully. Perhaps you can try that!
06-30-2005, 12:03 AM
Not really , I wouldnt want any freinds that excluded me b/c of my lifestyle anyways ......J.M.O.
06-30-2005, 12:20 AM
It is very hard to make changes especially when you are young (I presume) and all your friends are "having fun". (I have kids that in their 20's and trying to go RAW also). If you stick with it soon you will feel the changes so strongly that you will either make new friends or you and your old friends will adjust to your new way of life. With the key word being LIFE! I wish that I had heard about RAW when I was younger. (Although like you I might not have been ready to recieve the message.) Now, I am almost 50 and have had health and weight problem to deal with. What a blessing for you if you can stick with it and STAY healthy from your prime! Make a list of what attracted you to Raw (pro's) and things that will stand in your way of living it (cons)and see how they balance out. Maybe this is not the time for you to go 100%Raw. Maybe a vegan 50% raw is were you are at the moment. That's OK. Maybe you need to do more soul searching and see where your priorities are, what your goals are, why did you start it in the first place. Write it out! Having a clear idea to look at helps. Read some of the journels from people who appear to be your age. It might help to know they are struggling with the same issues. Good Luck
06-30-2005, 12:25 AM
NYC has some great raw restaurants, and Rhio who is extremely active in the Raw community, she has all kinds of fun things going on all the time.
As far as your friends, getting together with friends is not about food, food is just something around. The pleasure of friends is the comradery the joy the laugter etc.
I have never been a drinker, and I lived in a very heavy drinking town, with 3 major Military Bases and several colleges, I never once felt left out at a kegger or any place else, I would always drink ice water, and although occasionally some drunk would wonder why I wasn't drinking ( this was before there were designated drivers) I just didn't pay attention to them.
When you go out with friends, you are either there to enjoy your life however you choose eating salads, drinking fresh water, breathing fresh air, or to try to fit in, eating what they eat, drinkin booze, smoking etc.
Be your own person, people will admire and respect you for your choices. Do what works for you.
And if you want to meet raw people, start up a raw group if you can't find one.
But, I would bet there are several in NYC that you could join or hang with.
06-30-2005, 12:27 AM
I don't understand everyone's hesitation to tell their friends of their lifestyle choices. Having been vegan on and off for so many years, my friends and family just ask me "so what are you eating this month." When we go to the bars, I remind them I don't drink, they don't care as long as we have fun. Granted when everyone starts to get plastered, I say my goodbyes for the night, but up until then I will have had a great time.
You don't have to convert your friends, you don't have to eat what you don't want. If you went out and they were eating oysters and oysters made you ill, would you eat them? Probably not.
What I'm saying is, go out. Have fun. Drink water with lemon, who really cares? Eat before you go so you're not starving, and then just have salad at restaraunts. Actually, here's a story for you. My dad when he was young would go out with the guys after work. He didn't drink, and was shy about admitting it, so he would have a little talk with the waitress and have her get him just soda with alcohol rubbed around the rim whenever he ordered a 7&7 in exchange for a big tip at the end of the night. It was a little deceptive, but it did the job.
Today a woman at work who read my novel asked if she could take me out to lunch next week to discuss it. I immediately said yes, then remembered and told her I only ate raw food. "Cool," she said, "then sushie it is." I mentioned vegan, her smile didn't dim. "Vegan raw it is."
06-30-2005, 12:38 AM
carlene I totally agree , btw sushi can be raw veg ,just ask for a veggie hand roll with extra avo instead of rice ;)
06-30-2005, 12:44 AM
What's up with planning for the Nov/Dec holidays??? This must be the 3rd of 4th thread. It is only June!
I think she is referring to the 4th of July weekend. :D
06-30-2005, 12:46 AM
Oops! ha ha ha! I was reading another post about eggnog and my brain did not switch track soon enough!
I think she is referring to the 4th of July weekend. :D
06-30-2005, 01:07 AM
LOL! Eggnog and firecrackers! :D
06-30-2005, 02:36 AM
Yes, JumpinJax, it can be isolating, especially at first. I was also the only one going raw that I knew when I first started almost 6 months ago.
That's not the case now, but it's only been through persistence. The results are worth it, though. In the last few weeks, I've been at a raw friend's house making raw lasagna with her, I've been out to eat at raw restaurants on 3 separate occsions with raw friends -- I didn't know any of these people before, there's a raw potluck I'm going to next Friday, there's a raw July 4th event that I'm not going to (but there's a raw July 4th event nonetheless!), there was a veggie raw group outing to a local restaurant over the weekend which I didnt' go to, but, if I had, there would have been 20 more potential friends or acquaintances. My email inbox is full of announcements from 3 very active raw bulletin boards in the area. In the last month, I've found two women who actually live within walking distance of me who are raw. One is a member of this board and another I met at a raw cafe. Now, seriously, will we end up being really close friends? Who know? It's probably unlikely. But ... I don't feel so isolated anymore.
I'm telling you this only to show you that there's hope for you. You are in an area where there's such an active raw community! You just need to research. Search others out. Go to potlucks. Network. Organize your own potluck - advertise on this forum. Go to raw restaurants alone and talk shamelessly to everyone including the servers and the chefs. Get phone numbers and email addresses. That's what I do and most everyone is friendly and chatty right back, and ... links are formed.
07-02-2005, 07:45 PM
If you want to find/make new friends who eat the same as you, try rawfood.meetup.com and search for raw food meet-ups in NYC!
In fact, here is a link to some photos from one of the NY raw meet-ups with some DELICIOUS-looking food!! http://rawfood.meetup.com/12/photos/
07-04-2005, 01:16 AM
I involved my friends and family immediately in what I was doing and they are all very supportive. Having been very ill for so long they were all really delighted to see how much better I was getting with each passing day. Of course they all had the same quesions about protein etc. and would panic every time I would have a healing crisis. Still doing that from time to time and would try to save me from myself. But ultimately now my mom eats raw with me on the weekends when I come over to visit and my friends and I have raw food fiest together every wednesday. So contrary to being more isolated as I was when I was very ill and unable to do things now I get out there and am living really living for the first time in years. So for me I am no longer isolated. If you are going out almost every where you go people will be willing to whip you up a quick salad or fruit plate. Take a small container of olive oil and some sea salt and you have an easy dressing. Then enjoy the company. My friends love that I am eating raw now because I have energy to really actually go out and I am in a good mood almost all the time now. My friends call me now on Tuesday to find out what delicacies in raw food they will get to have the next day or request their favorites from the last time. It is great.
Sharon in Colorado
07-04-2005, 12:39 PM
When I moved out here to the Springs, I was concerned that there wouldn't be anyone here who shared a raw interest with me. Fortunately I found a lady, who was not only raw, but homeschooled and had the same belief as me, and we started a raw support group out here together. It's funny, we are both struggling with raw right now, so we are really a great support team!
Keep your old friends, but do try and reach out to new ones that share similar interests. I never really let go of my old friends, they have their own place, but it sure is nice to find the raw interested ones. Little do you know, they are probably feeling lonely as well, and needing to find you too!
07-04-2005, 12:42 PM
There is a web site www.live-foods.com that inform you of live food events especially in NYC. If you go to these events you should meet lots of like minded people
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