amyambro1
05-21-2008, 01:04 PM
When I went from coffee and soda drinking and meat eater to raw in June 2007 overnight, I honestly thought I would never eat cooked food again. I had a deep fear of eating cooked food, like it was an addiction I was trying to overcome. I had the nightmares about making mistakes and everything! It became easier and easier as time went on, and before I knew it, I was 100% raw for 7.5 months. I looked and felt better than ever. I was still having some problems dealing with emotions - switching back and forth between smoking or overeating raw, but always felt wonderful and healthy, like never before.
Then for some strange reason, it started to creep back into my brain that it was okay to try cooked food again. I didn't want to, but if I had to do it, I would. (?)
So I went with some good friends to New York City for one week over New Years Eve. I brought all my own food and just expected to stay raw. The longer we were there, the longer I felt like ti would be okay to splurge with a little cooked food. We were going out to eat A LOT, and when we finally went out for sushi I decided I couldn't resist. I just had to eat some sushi!
It didn't seem to effect me much physically. I didn't feel any more tired or in any pain.
I also began running out of my own food. After that sushi, it hit me suddenly like a ton of bricks. My addiction to cooked food had completely taken over. Suddenly it was okay for me to eat whatever, and I made a promise to myself that as soon as I came home from the trip, I'd go right back to eating raw.
When I came home, I did go back to eating all raw, but I didn't have that fear anymore. Suddenly I felt like if the opportunity were to arise, it would be ok to eat some cooked food. So very slowly, I crept back into more and more SAD food. I didn't want to, but it was suddenly really hard to control! Then I would eat mostly raw, and binge on chocolate. I would eat raw all day, and then at the end of the day, sneak out to the gas station and buy 2 or 3 candy bars, eating them as fast as possible! I knew that there were feelings arising in me that I thought chocolate could cure. Even with daily meditation, it was still difficult for me to get through the emotions.
For 2 or 3 months now, I have been eating mostly raw and then binging on really bad food, but avoiding any big cooked meals. The only cooked food I've been eating is serious junk, like cookies, cake, chocolate bars, and so on. But the rest is raw! It's out of control!
My birthday was Monday, and my friends took me out for birthday cake at TGI Fridays. I first ate spinach and artichoke dip with very greasy tortilla chips, and devoured an entire piece of oreo chocolate cake. I woke up yesterday in the worst condition ever. My body was so weak, I couldn't get out of bed, I had a dreadful headache, hot w/ cold sweats, a terrible fever! Couldn't eat anything! Nauseated. Haven't felt so sick since long before going raw.
Well, I feel that I've hit rock bottom. I feel a bit better today, but I'm going in later for a colonic to hopefully get rid of the rest. Then it's back to raw. I realize I have to deal with the uncomfortable emotions differently, in a healthier way, so I'm just going to keep meditating, watching my mind, and stop myself before acting on my uncomfortable mind.
Then for some strange reason, it started to creep back into my brain that it was okay to try cooked food again. I didn't want to, but if I had to do it, I would. (?)
So I went with some good friends to New York City for one week over New Years Eve. I brought all my own food and just expected to stay raw. The longer we were there, the longer I felt like ti would be okay to splurge with a little cooked food. We were going out to eat A LOT, and when we finally went out for sushi I decided I couldn't resist. I just had to eat some sushi!
It didn't seem to effect me much physically. I didn't feel any more tired or in any pain.
I also began running out of my own food. After that sushi, it hit me suddenly like a ton of bricks. My addiction to cooked food had completely taken over. Suddenly it was okay for me to eat whatever, and I made a promise to myself that as soon as I came home from the trip, I'd go right back to eating raw.
When I came home, I did go back to eating all raw, but I didn't have that fear anymore. Suddenly I felt like if the opportunity were to arise, it would be ok to eat some cooked food. So very slowly, I crept back into more and more SAD food. I didn't want to, but it was suddenly really hard to control! Then I would eat mostly raw, and binge on chocolate. I would eat raw all day, and then at the end of the day, sneak out to the gas station and buy 2 or 3 candy bars, eating them as fast as possible! I knew that there were feelings arising in me that I thought chocolate could cure. Even with daily meditation, it was still difficult for me to get through the emotions.
For 2 or 3 months now, I have been eating mostly raw and then binging on really bad food, but avoiding any big cooked meals. The only cooked food I've been eating is serious junk, like cookies, cake, chocolate bars, and so on. But the rest is raw! It's out of control!
My birthday was Monday, and my friends took me out for birthday cake at TGI Fridays. I first ate spinach and artichoke dip with very greasy tortilla chips, and devoured an entire piece of oreo chocolate cake. I woke up yesterday in the worst condition ever. My body was so weak, I couldn't get out of bed, I had a dreadful headache, hot w/ cold sweats, a terrible fever! Couldn't eat anything! Nauseated. Haven't felt so sick since long before going raw.
Well, I feel that I've hit rock bottom. I feel a bit better today, but I'm going in later for a colonic to hopefully get rid of the rest. Then it's back to raw. I realize I have to deal with the uncomfortable emotions differently, in a healthier way, so I'm just going to keep meditating, watching my mind, and stop myself before acting on my uncomfortable mind.