View Full Version : living judgment-free?
05-18-2008, 06:45 AM
I don't know what to call this, but I will try to explain it the best I can.
Yesterday I had a "bad" day. It was negative and uncomfortable, but at the same time I DON'T feel that way. I just feel like I learned a lot from a few uncomfortable exp.
So having a "bad day" is a judgment statement, but is saying that I had an "uncomfortable" day judging? I don't think so, right?
So how does one learn to not judge things and just walk thru life experiencing LIFE in it's fullest. and I know there is a term for this that is escaping me right now....
05-18-2008, 06:59 AM
I believe it is a process and some may be farther in their journey than others. It is all about letting go of the preconceived and previously taught.Look at babies when they come into the world and then "we mess them up" ~ I say that loosely and lovingly :) . I don't know if there is anyone who doesn't do a little judging w/o even knowing it unless they are a monk;) or something.
I just came off a fast/cleanse and usually when I do one I feel so free,calm and lala nonjudgmental. For some reason this time I find myself having silly picky thoughts racing through my head now and then. I am going to make a positive judgment and say I am detoxing ( I hope as it's not me ):rolleyes: .
Don't know what word you are looking for ~ Just tossing some thoughts out there. But do remember it is a process and being aware will bring about change.
05-18-2008, 07:30 AM
We all judge. It's part of our nature. Even all the books I'm reading currently about releasing, letting go, being non-judgmental are just changing words to sound as though they aren't judging.
Choosing to do one thing or another is judging. You have to judge which thing works best for you.
I hear what you're saying though and recently have been reading "Take Me to Truth" which is one of the best books yet, I've read on the topic.
For me it's more about a neither this nor that... neither here nor there. For instance, the other day while I was speaking, two women chose to speak. I stopped and said "I'll wait". Now, I really had no emotion about it. Wasn't angry or upset as many would have been and, as I found later, a couple were. One woman was so upset she kept saying "how rude!" Well, her upsetness (making up my own word here) kept her from hearing what I was saying as she was focused on what THEY were doing.
What I've found works for me is, more and more awareness.
In reading your appreciations this a.m. I saw that you said it was a bad day but you learned a lot. So, was it REALLY a bad day. Part of you said "yes"; part of you said "no". Hmmm. So, how about being in the center and see what evolves from the experiences of the day?
It's like when someone judges us ~ we usually think of judgement as bad. Well, someone might be saying something good about us. Isn't that judgement as well?
Most people validate (or invalidate) themselves by others' opinions. If someone says something we perceive as "negative" we don't like ourselves (or THEM) and if someone says something we perceive as positive we like ourselves (or THEM).
I like your question, consideration and thoughtfulness. It's what I've been working on for years and years and it's a FUN journey to just come from the moment... neither here, nor there.
Did any of this make sense? LOL
05-18-2008, 09:17 AM
I've been thinking about this myself. When I was younger I had a hard time discriminating between people I wanted in my space and those I did not. I so didn't want to judge others that I gave up my own space to accommodate them and their energies. It wasn't their fault. I wasn't clear enough in myself to have boundaries.Then for a few years I became a hermit because I didn't know how to find a middle ground between what is inside me and what is outside me.I thought that being unattached to the ego meant giving up self love and self preservation. I have learned to make choices that are positive for myself without the guilt associated with not choosing to be around people that don't make me feel positive. So I am choosing/judging situations as negative or positive.
That is judging, so I'm still there in the judging place. I am finding a balance between allowing situations to flow past and around me without taking them personally, and still making choices based on what helps me to thrive. I'm working on looking at them with the "inner observer" and not getting entangled emotionally. When it works, I feel like I am floating along unattached to events, but still grounded enough in the "self" to function well as a human being. I hope to feel that way as much as possible, but it is a goal in progress!!
05-18-2008, 02:40 PM
I think it's natural to have an opinion. Judgement seems like something that happens before a punishment is laid down. I think having an opinion of something is natural...we have the option to look at the silver lining or not.
If it's a negative opinion of this thing we observe, we have the choice whether to take that opinion and go down cranky road for awhile and mutter like Popeye, or decide to have tolerance and move on with the day. (even after a bit of venting- we can change gears and move along)
For me, tolerance is a key word. If people tolerated our differences things wouldn't escalate to more than a healthy opinion....judgements cause nit picking, negative energy in a room or even war.
ie:Like is this girl I saw with her thong hanging out of her pants yesterday, lookingsilly...is she really worth having more than a 2 second opinion about? It's easier to laugh at human weirdness and move on with our positive day.
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