emotions roller coasting >> menapause??

[BDraw]

Hi! I'm getting real close to 50 (not exciting) and my emotions are causing way too many crying spells. And I can't figure out what is wrong. I do not think it is detoxing! Been mostly raw since October '04, and mostly vegan before that for several years. It was suggested to me last night that I'm probably entering the menapausal era. Not excited!

Any body have any suggestions? Besides . . . enjoy the ride?

I do plan to go see a naturalist doc soon. Just having a hard time making that phone call.

Help appreciated. Thanks!

[Revvell]

Not sure why you feel the need to see a doctor. Menopause is just a natural transition into the best part of your life! Experiencing and expressing emotions, whatever they may be, is part of life also!

...and yes, crying is detoxing. It's wonder-filled!

For me, menopause has been so freeing it's amazing! No monthly pain and mess, don't have to wear undies :rolleyes: ~ get a lil hot now and then yet it's just part of the process.

Ummm, enjoy the ride! :D

Revvell

[rawpriestess]

Well, if you think it is the beginning of menopause, it probably is, as our inner talk will always give us the correct answers.

Menopause is natural, and if you are raw, and have been vegan, you may simply experience some emotional issues and that's it.

Life changes can be scary, if we don't know what they are or why.

Just think back to when you started your mensus, you had your mom to talk to, maybe a sister or aunt, or teacher, you may have seen one of those "movies" at school, or had a counselor or health teacher or even school nurse to talk to, you certianly had friends who were probably going through the exact same thing, and even if you didn't you could go to the store, buy a package of tampons, and read the instructions, and find out alot in that little piece of paper.

Now, with menopause, I didn't my mom or aunt or grandma to help me, they have all passed away, no sister, (I have a half sister, who I never really see, and she is 10 years younger than I, I'll probably get a call from her in about 10 years though ;o) and I have no health teacher, no school counselor, no one to really help me.

It can be embarassing to ask other women friends, since I would then be assuming that they are a certain age (which I feel is rude, YES, I am of that era, where I won't confront someone about something if I feel it is too personal) so I could go to a health food store and read a book or two, but then I'm not so sure of that either, as I don't really have any symptoms, except, what appear to be hot flashes, brittle hair, and sleeplessness, but I've had those symptoms all my life pretty much, depending on my mood etc.

So, because I am in my 50's I am assuming that I am going through menopause, I still have periods, I still have a high libido, but I do cry easily, always have, I have brittle hair and nails, (that is new, always had strong nails) I have gained alot of weight in the past few years (MUST be menopause, couldn't be all the junk I was eating LOL), and I am irritable (no more so than usual).

I'm not trying to make light of any symptoms, I am just saying that life is a journey, a process, a walk through the forest, valleys and the meadows.

Enjoy each day, each part of it. I didn't want to grow up, I don't want to grow old, but I do want to grow, so each day I will become more and more like my self. Grow older, but not grow old, embrace the excitement of a new part of my life, and walk forward into the rest of my life, one step at a time, one day at a time, one breath at a time.

Now, given all of that, there is such a thing as emotional detox and you may certainly be going through that. Again, allow it to be what it is, and go WITH it, don't fight it, just observe what your feelings are, maybe choose to write them down, if that works for you, and allow all of that bad icky emotional stuff to go bye bye, so you can be your truly wonderful smiling self again.

If it is menopause, black cohosh, red clover, red raspberries, and red raspberry leaf, dong quai are all excellent with symptoms, and will help with any specific cravings you may be having, such as salts or sweets.

Rawpriestess

[lodestar]

Dear Girls:

I will be 52 in August and to be honest and hopefully not sounding too smug...I am feeling irresistable.
Without a doubt the raw way of eating has curbed the night sweats and I am sleeping better. No question about that at all. My body does seem to cling to stubborn weight around my mid-section more than ever before.
Emotionally I feel solid and complete. It's hard to explain, but my faith in life's plan gives me perspective, peace and direction.
I am living my dream. When I was a little girl I used to walk home to a not so happy house and I would look up into the heavens and pray that Heavenly Father would grant me the grown-up life of my dreams...with tremendous gratitude and humility I can say that those wishes have come true.
Now my new goal is to find a fulfilling creative outlet. I am toying with the idea of writing a child's book for each grandchild and paint watercolor illustrations.
I guess what I am seeing for myself is...I need to continue to stretch, reach, and grow. I love the idea that we are all sharing this amazing transition together.
Oh, I might add that my cycle is regular, shorter, and heavier than ever. Dang!

[Sweet lips]

yeah, now we need to hear from Raw Truth! I am fifty this year according to the state ( I am one with 2 birth certificates - another long story), never the less - It is a wonderful time in a woman's life. At fifty:

At fifty -People will listen to you and actually believe what you say!

At fifty on raw - your beauty is so irresetible because what is in your soul is magnified 100 of percentages and it is wonderful

At fifty -you have seen some things, lived through some things, been in some things, and come through some things only to discover that it was alright.

At fifty ( my aunt begs to differ- she says 70), you can say what you are feeling to anyone and really not care

At fifty - that stuff that used to piss you off (she ask can she say that), just really doesn't matter

At fifty - you are winding down is some areas, career, home , may empty nest, only to begin again in another area

So you were saying.... Menopause - I was supposed to be thrusted into menopause after my surgery in January - the emotionalism has been mild, guess because I have had a whole lot of stuff going on but I didn't attribute it to meopause.

I dunno, but I do know that I am seeing joy on the other side of the rainbow -I am coming of age to see the beauty of my wholeness. ( Your post just helped me understand thank (((((hug)))) you! :)

Did you have toxic emotions before, such as some anger, some anxiety, you know the stuff that just takes you out of you? That is probably what is happening for you now, progressing in the circle of life and getting rid of the old for the brand new you! Although you have been raw since October, thee is really old stuff inside us that can take awhile to surface.

Two things I am going to suggest to you as you are cleansing/crying : Journal girl, until your fingers cramp and see just what is coming about from there and then seek out Revvells daily thread on appreciation and start appreciating those cleansing, loving tears and love yourself up.

The herbs will help you, and of course, your circle of aged, beautiful babes will be here for you. I like what R.P. said about not having that discussed amongst women as was done with on set of my menses. Something to think about ummm - my Mom just finished - I think, and she didn't have the flashes and stuff, and I don't either, but there does need to be conversation about this for women. I am thinking out loud, so I will talk with you later.

I have some nice embrodied ( I know I messed that up) hankies if you are think tissues will not be enough. Be blessed :) Although I jest, I do hope I didn't offend you - life is just fun and because of your post, I realized it. Thanks

[Revvell]

Beautifully written ~ much of what I can say about myself. I am also living my dream. Wonder-filled isn't it?

It seems I am finding more and more creative outlets ~ so many, no time to do it all AND sit by the pool. I think the child's book sounds lovely. Enjoy!

Revvell



Dear Girls:

I will be 52 in August and to be honest and hopefully not sounding too smug...I am feeling irresistable.
Without a doubt the raw way of eating has curbed the night sweats and I am sleeping better. No question about that at all. My body does seem to cling to stubborn weight around my mid-section more than ever before.
Emotionally I feel solid and complete. It's hard to explain, but my faith in life's plan gives me perspective, peace and direction.
I am living my dream. When I was a little girl I used to walk home to a not so happy house and I would look up into the heavens and pray that Heavenly Father would grant me the grown-up life of my dreams...with tremendous gratitude and humility I can say that those wishes have come true.
Now my new goal is to find a fulfilling creative outlet. I am toying with the idea of writing a child's book for each grandchild and paint watercolor illustrations.
I guess what I am seeing for myself is...I need to continue to stretch, reach, and grow. I love the idea that we are all sharing this amazing transition together.
Oh, I might add that my cycle is regular, shorter, and heavier than ever. Dang!

[BDraw]

Wow! What wonderful replies and advice. Gosh, you've given me a lot to think about.

"Did you have toxic emotions before, such as some anger, some anxiety, you know the stuff that just takes you out of you? " Yes, I'm not really liking that other me either.

We have just adopted 3 siblings (3,6,9) and the 3 year old is quite a stong-willed little one and so much anger inside. Some days I do loose it!! And I really hate me on those days. Do you really think if I keep RAW, all the nasties will come out and I'll be able to be loving no matter what she (the three year old) dishes out?

I think another one of my problems is I'm grieving the loss of my freedom.

When we made the decision to adopt we knew beyond a doubt that God's hand was directing it, but you know, I never knew it could be this hard. I'm tired. Tired of the constant fight with a three year old.

Okay, I've probably unloaded too much. Back to menapause. . . to answer another question: "Not sure why you feel the need to see a doctor." Why? My husband and friend insist. They seem to think that it will solve all my problems. They seem to think I could be getting depressed too. Maybe I am, the joy of life evades me and I haven't a clue how to begin to have fun.

So I made the appointment -- get this -- on my birthday -- the big 5-0. What a gift!

Please forgive me for being such a downer, I really do appreciate your input. And I will start to journal -- though I may be afraid what I find.

Sweetlips -- you did not offend me. And what you said about: "start appreciating those cleansing, loving tears and love yourself up." is beautiful. I'll try to remember that when the emotions and tears take over. Now I have to ask, where are Revvel's appreciation notes?

Thanks again everybody, you are blessing me with you care. BD

[Revvell]

Hey BD ~

How can one be depressed with so much to celebrate? Here's where to acknowledge that ~ EVERY SINGLE DAY! 2 or more times a day if you feel to!
http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?p=40785#post40785 There will be times when you are feeling so down and can't seem to think of even ONE thing to appreciate ~ then you remember the little things ~ hot and cold running water; a roof over your head; your three little ones are there wit you ~ safe; etc. Life is a wonder and a gift ~ Which is why it's called the present. (Probably heard that somewhere before, yah?) :)

Yes, when we are going through transitional times, stuff comes up ~ and not necessarily in ways we would like. Children can be trying (as can other people in our lives). One thing I have learned to do with ANYbody I find taxing ~ do something different. It sounds as though the 3-year old has already learned where your buttons are ~ and pushes them. Well, instead of reacting ~ respond. Respond differently each time ~ throw her off balance. One cannot continue playing THAT game unless the other player continues THEIR side of it. Change the rules; make up your own ~ or don't play at all!

How to have fun? Give the kids to your husband or your "best" friend and get gone! Go do something YOU want to do! One canNOT give of oneself if they are feeling emotionally drained. What's left to give? Of course you are depressed! Sheesh! You've lost you and all your energy is going to the 3 little ones! Take a break! Go walking barefoot in the park; take time to do some yoga ~ away from home. Do something YOU want to do and take the kids. Let them roll down a grassy hill; swing on swings at the park; Put the oldest one in charge of the little ones while there. Read a junk novel.

Now this might not sit well with you yet, you say "God's hand was directing it". Maybe, yet, you are the one's who took action. If necessary, find other options. You are in the best stage or your life. YOU are the one who needs to make the decisions about how that will be. Would you like to celebrate whatsoever? ...or... continue on as you are now?

One thing I learned quite some time ago ~ It's our decision to be happy ~ or not. You've got a lot of support here on this forum. LOTS of folk here have children. Probably lots of people living near you have children. Can you trade with them? They take yours for a few hours; you get theirs?

Look for back-up plans so you and your honey have time together too. When I was 12 I babysat a family with 5 children ~ the oldest was 10. They went out every other Sat. night ~ alone. You need that time.

Best to you ~

Revvell

[pfc]

just a thought...
In my studies of counseling and counseling practice I have come across some information on what happens when we find ourselves around young ones. Often what we were faced with at the age of the young one (or around that time) can surface. Your note about perhaps being afraid of what might come up while journaling triggered my mind to remembering this. Perhaps some of what is there is stuff left in you that is coming up to be experience and/or let go?
Congrats on the adoption! So kind, compassionate and brave! Many blessings to you and your whole family!

[lodestar]

Dear BD...you are doing very difficult things...and I might add that you are doing them well. Remember that you will be sustained by God in this extra responsibility you have assumed, but you must take the time to "fill your cup" before you can give others a drink. Revvell made this point very clear. When my children were small I needed:
rest as well as quiet time
high quality food
emotional and physical support...you know help from husband and sitters sometimes
a vision...just where do I want to go with my life
spiritual food...scriptures and all good uplifting books
count your blessings...Revvell's gratitude thread is an excellent place to post thanks
friends and mentors
patience with myself

You are not required to run faster than you have the strength to do. My heart goes out to you dear girl.

[BDraw]

Thanks so much for the encouragement! As I sit here and fight back tears of blessing (from you), my heart swells with compasion, from you.

And as you remind me of my 3 little ones, I must make a correction. I have 4 little ones. I didn't mention our own 6 year old Downs Blessing. Now he puts a smile on my face constantly, even when he crawls in my bed at 5 in the morning with his frozen little body. He is my joy. Always manages to lift me up despite his challenges of mental retardation (still in diapers, can't talk, etc).

Thanks for starting my day with such wonderful advice. I will choose to be happy and try my best to respond differently while my buttons are being pushed to thier limit by my 3 year old. This could take some imagination, actually I like the idea of not responding at all.

Love and blessings to each of you for caring enough to share with me.

BD