Moving?

[Cinammon]

Hey

A few months ago, I posted here about trouble with one of my flatmates and her 'friend', who was in the flat all the time? and should I say anything?

Well, he started staying overnight (her bedroom is right next to mine) and they kept waking me up and making so much noise - talking and laughing(!) - I eventually had to say something one Sunday morning, after getting about 4 hours sleep before they started talking again (at about 6 am)

He texted me to say he would never visit her in the flat again.

Hah! Knew he would, and he did. Other flatmate couldn't take him being around anymore and moved out. After a couple of days, I flipped, and said I wasn't comfortable with him being there all the time. He yelled back at me.

I put in a formal complaint and he was banned. The past couple of weeks have been a nightmare. He threatened to go to lawyers and say it was racism (they're both from India). She and I have been ignoring each other, after a very uncomfortable couple of conversations.

She is soo much better at the ignoring stuff than I am. She never did like me, and always was v bitchy, in a slightly subtle way - nothing you could really make a big deal about - but enough to be really, really miserable to live with.

I'm going to have to move out(!!!)

I'm just wondering what people think. I've already moved from one flat because I was sharing with a girl who behaved like a psycho.

I'd think it was just me being overly-sensitive, if it wasn't for the fact that other people have commented on my ex-flatmate's psycho behaviour, and how uncomfortable it made them - and for the fact that my current flatmate and her friend's behaviour drove somebody else out of this flat - somebody who'd been living there for almost 3 years with no trouble at all, before they came.

(Sorry this is sooo long - hope it's making sense)

The thing I'm dreading is that: what if I do move again, and find myself with another awful flatmate or two? I can't keep moving ....

On the other hand, this has been going on for about 8 months now, and enough is enough.

I suddenly thought, too, that, if I moved, I'd probably be able to really go for the raw food diet, and not be so uncomfortable that I have to keep stuffing feelings down with junk food.

But what if I move in with another psycho??? Is the point of this that I should stay and tough it out, or move and start again?

(It's staff accommodation, so it's really easy to change rooms/flats)

I'm sorry this has been such a long post. Thank you very much for reading this far!

Love

Cinammon x

[christofu]

Cinnamon,

If I had my druthers, I would opt to move on, and be free of uncomfortable situations. Your flatmate is down right inconsiderate to the point where she should be the one to move. :p Get while the getting is good.

[spicyfull]

Seems to me, if she wanted to be with him, she would meet at his place. I think these are problems you might run into all the time in one form or another until you move by yourself. Either a Phycho or a Free Loading Bum.

I'd stand MY Ground......Let her Move, Stop Running. It is YOUR Place also and its about time you Continue to act like it. And might I say, Great Move with filing your Compliant. Let him get ALL the Lawyers he want....they don't have to live with the two of them in the next room. Its not Racism......its wanting to have a "Home Sweet Home".

I wish you all the Best.......NEVER LET ANYONE SEE YOU SWEAT......You have Rights Also.

[Apasaraw]

Oh yes, Cinnamon, do move and soon. Point your emotional compass and find the right place. Maybe if you even just start looking, your flatmate will go first. Either way way tell the universe you're looking for a better situation by taking action.

I see a pattern forming. New name search, new flat search...it's your authentic self trying to come out to play and guiding you to where you should be.

Christofu is right...you have rights too. You have the right not to be bothered by someone who doesn't pay rent and have the right to sleep so you can function! Do you need someone to help you move? I wouldn't mind a trip to England.;)

[Cinammon]

Hey

Thanks for answering.

Christofu and Apasaraw, I'm agreeing with you both - it's definitely time to move. I just can't live like this. Hope to God the next flat'll be better - if it's worse, not quite sure what to do then(!)

Christofu - absolutely agree with you, she should have been the one to move. But, after her 'friend' was banned, she pulled a complete 'poor victimised me; so now I can't have my friends round?', and I don't think the manager could face asking her to change flats. Apparantly manager did suggest it, and flatmate-from-hell said no way.

Spicyfull - absolutely - that's the question everyone's been asking - why did she never go to his place? Even manager asked it. Maybe he's married too - her husband is in England. Odd, odd situation.

I've been in flatshares for years now, and never anything like this. Thanks for your support re filing the complaint - and I LOVE what you wrote re lawyers not having to live next door to them. That's brilliant - and could be said about most lawyers who work for awful clients(!) Thanks again!

I think I really do have to move, right or wrong. Whole situation is making me too miserable, and taking all my energy, so work is definitely suffering. And I just remembered today that my other flatmate told me they think that flat is cursed - about three people who moved into it over past couple of years failed the course!!!

Apasaraw - thank you for your lovely words. You've been great - much appreciated! If you ever are planning a trip to the UK, give me a shout!

Right! Bank Holiday today, so I can't tell the office I want to move - will do it tomorrow.

Thanks again!

Love

Cinammon x