anyone change thier name?

[Zaphirah]

I have been thinking about this for a long time. I may have even posted about this in the past.

I really want to give myself a new name. I've never really cared for my birth name. I have never felt that it really fit me. I want to shed my old skin and honor the new me with a much more spiritual name that means something personal to me. Has anyone done this?

legally or just socially? I feel slightly odd introducing myself under a different name, but Zaphirah is really WHO I AM, ya know?

[Revvell]

I did. Legally.

[Apasaraw]

I nearly did, researched etc. and then decided against it when I worked out the "whys and wherefores"....

If you are Zaphirah...first of all bitchin' name! Secondly, how do you pronounce it? What does it"mean" if anything?

I am just a curious sort when it comes to names because I grew up with an odd one.

[Cinammon]

I changed my name for numerological, as well as other, reasons.

People were really cool about it - it was funny at first - they'd say, 'Hi -, sorry, I mean - '. but after a week or so they got used to it.

I guess it's the same everywhere?? you can legally call yourself whatever you like, and change it as often as you like, so long as there is no intent to defraud?

I haven't changed it by deed poll yet - but have been able to register with a doctor, change it on my bank account, start uni with my 'new' name, etc.

In one way, it's been a huge change, in other ways, no difference at all (I may change it again - still looking, in a way. I think it makes sense, as we evolve, that our name may change.)

Since you are Zaphirah, I'd say go for it. People will probably be fine. Maybe you could test the water a bit first? You'll know yourself when the time is right, and if that time is now - give it a go?

Best of luck

Love

Cinammon x

[jacsam]

So what names are you considering and how do you pronounce Zaphirah?

[Zaphirah]

Thanks for the input. Could anyone share the WHY behind their name change?

My IRL name is "shannon". I have never really cared for it. it has never really "fit" me. I mean, I'm going on 34 years, and I still don't feel "at home" w/ it.

I'm thinking of changing my name to Zaphirah (zah-FEER-uh). It means "victory" and I kinda want to change my last name too...

in my head, :p my name is Zaphirah bat Lael Sunflower. If you loosely break it down it means "Victorious daughter of God, who keeps her face toward the Sun."

It means so much to me. I have intro'd myself a couple of times as Zaphirah and the majority of my mail comes to Zaphirah Sunflower, but it irks my dh-not about the last name, tho. Dh has a family history of having someone OTHER than the birth father's name for the last 2 generations. :p He doesn't want to be Mr. Sunflower. LOL!

and then there's my darling children. it could be quite confusing for them.

Just trying to look at all the angles before I really get serious about it, ya know?

[BeadedGraces]

in my head, :p my name is Zaphirah bat Lael Sunflower. If you loosely break it down it means "Victorious daughter of God, who keeps her face toward the Sun."


That just rocks.

[Zaphirah]

thanks, sistah. I feel like I am FINALLY coming out on the other side of a whole lotta crap. My sister and I joke that we are lucky to be breathing, if you consider the genetic sludge we arose from-like Lazarus. Oh man, that just reminded me-waaaay back in hs i had a friend who changed his name socially when he got back from rehab. (I didn't know him before, only for a few months after he came back.) He said he wanted to be called Lazarus because he felt like he had been dead and was now alive again. Gosh, I can't believe I forgot all about that. :o

[Revvell]

I changed it because I wanted to. That's it! No real reason. Tried out a few; came up with Revvell... nothing fit for the last name until my spiritual teacher gave me the name Ma Prabodh Revati. Well, I didn't want to go by Probodh so, kept the Revvell P. Revati. Flows...

[Aleesha Sattva]

i changed mine. was going through therapy and wanted to let go of the wounded little girl i was... so i changed my name (and had it numerologically balanced to my birth name at the same time).

some people didn't agree with my choice and chose to leave my life over it... oh well can't be very good friends IMO if my name makes them never want to see me again LOL

i love my name... love it. disliked the other one tremendously. so i'm very happy i did it. ;)

and yes, mine is legal.

[Zaphirah]

i changed mine. was going through therapy and wanted to let go of the wounded little girl i was... so i changed my name

disliked the other one tremendously. so i'm very happy i did it. ;)




very similar situation. thank you. :)

[Apasaraw]

For me, the why was just about having my name be Apasara (which I was given at birth). But I didn't want a last name. I didn't feel connected to it. I was wounded by it if you will. I still don't want a last name, even with the option of my husbands surname. BUT with the advent of a computer world it is hard not to have a surname because you can't fill out forms etc. (the computer won't accept a blank or a space)

Also my last name is a common first name and people were always "correcting" my "last name first" section on forms or lists. Duh...I do KNOW my first and last name. Stop flipping them about!:rolleyes:

If I had my way...I'm just Apasara...or the nickname my friends use. I'm a one word kinda girl.

[Zaphirah]

Did you find that your name change helped you to be more authentic? more real? more grounded? more spiritual? It seems to me that changing your name is akin to a re-birth, a new beginning.

I'm not sure why, but my biggest fear is upsetting my children. My family has always thought I was a kook, so no big deal to deal with a little more criticism. :rolleyes: :p

I'm still mulling the whole telling the dc thing. I need to meditate on this for awhile.

[Revvell]

I'm not sure why, but my biggest fear is upsetting my children.

You wont upset them. They are in charge of their feelings and responses. I'd suggest you allow them to be. My mother and brother were both upset I changed mine. That's their right if they wish it.

I read something REALLY great in a book from an author I'm interviewing for one of my shows. She stated: "If I use you as a mirror, it's because I want you to be responsible for and make the decision for what I'm thinking or judging about myself."

I've been accused of hurting peoples' feelings. I find it interesting how some will accuse while some will defend. I'm just the mirror. You will be the mirror in this case.

I don't know how old your children are yet, they either want or will want the freedom to do as they choose. Will they allow you, as an adult, your freedom? Or, will you give them the power to make decisions for you?

[Aleesha Sattva]

when you change your name... you change the numerological vibration and those around you do respond to your differently.

i found that i changed tremendously. it's like the blockages to who i really am were all taken away. i did choose a name which was balanced numerolgically for me though so this may have been why.

i love who i am with this name... i wouldn't go back to my old name for anything!

[Zaphirah]

Revvell-howd'ja git so smrt? huh? :p

love that quote btw. :cool:

Aleesha-I know nothing about numerology, but that's what a new name feels like-like clearing away the cobwebs in my energy. It's kinda like when I stopped holding onto STUFF. I used to save little mementos and all kinds of things (not compulsively, I just had a lot of clutter-like 2 can openers in case one broke, used pieces of furniture that people gave me that I didn't like but I kept just so no one would be offended to find I'd gotten rid of it-that kind of thing)

Then one day I really TOUGH and in a couple months time my house felt CLEAR and it felt good to BREATHE in there. It was sparse, but clean and bright and shiny. My friend used to come over and say that the house had a wonderful FEEL to it now that all the stuff was gone.

I feel like a new name will do that energetically for me. I'm not expecting a CURE by changing my name-that's what therapy is for. LOL! But I do think it is a major symbol that I am commited to my new path-just as people take their spouses name in marriage-as a symbol that they have left their "old life" and are entering their new life. Does that make sense? It's early here. LoL!

[Draginvry]

I've been accused of hurting peoples' feelings.

That happens to me all the time. I am also incredibly selfish.

But, we are supposed to be selfish. There is no reason to care about what others think. Really, there's not. You do what is right for you, and they do what is right for them. If that upsets them, that is their choice, not yours.

You are not responsible for other people's ignorance. Neither am I. That's why I say what needs to be said, and I do what needs to be done, even though I know people are going to get in a tizzy and judge me for it.

Your brain was not designed to let other people make decisions for you. You are supposed to think for yourself. Otherwise you wouldn't need such a big brain. You'd just have the nervous system of, let's say, a flatworm.

I don't intend to "change" my name legally. But everyone who *knows* me, knows me by Draginvry. Everyone who doesn't *know* me, knows me by another name. I have no need to correct them because I know that the people who really know will accept the name I have chosen. The people who do not want to know, will not use that name.

But it's not what other people call me that matters. It is what I call myself.

[Zaphirah]

Quote: "That happens to me all the time. I am also incredibly selfish.

But, we are supposed to be selfish. There is no reason to care about what others think. Really, there's not. You do what is right for you, and they do what is right for them. If that upsets them, that is their choice, not yours."

But what about love, compassion, and empathy? You do get more bees with honey.

I have a family member that is so FORWARD that she ain't worth the time anymore. It can be very taxing with people who are so forward and committed to being RIGHT all the time.

How can I LISTEN to what someone is saying when there is no room for learning from EACH OTHER?

totally OT, but just my 2 cents-

[Revvell]

I don't believe that's what's being said here. What I get is that, we've got our own lives to live. When you talk about someone being "forward" to me that means interfering with others' lives. What we're talking about is living our own. No one else can live it but us and if we're constantly seeking others approval for what we do then we are letting them control and manipulate us. IF you feel to change your name and don't because of others' reactions/responses, then you are living for them, not for you.

EVERYONE judges. It's what the mind does. Some people will approve and support you in this; others wont. It's all judgement.

It's like eating raw foods. Some will support you; some wont. It's life.

When you say "learning from each other", people will learn from you as you go about living YOUR life and you learn from them as you're doing here. Isn't that so?



Quote: "That happens to me all the time. I am also incredibly selfish.

But, we are supposed to be selfish. There is no reason to care about what others think. Really, there's not. You do what is right for you, and they do what is right for them. If that upsets them, that is their choice, not yours."

But what about love, compassion, and empathy? You do get more bees with honey.

I have a family member that is so FORWARD that she ain't worth the time anymore. It can be very taxing with people who are so forward and committed to being RIGHT all the time.

How can I LISTEN to what someone is saying when there is no room for learning from EACH OTHER?

totally OT, but just my 2 cents-

[Zaphirah]

Yes. That is right. That is what I am trying to do. Learn.

and Yes, you are right-what I was talking about is interfering. It sounded to me that Draginvry was saying that his/her truth is all that really matters, but other people have to live their truths and have a right to do so without interference.

I totally hear what you are saying about being true to oneself.

As I'm sure you can tell-seeking approval is my biggest flaw. I want to be seen as WHOLE PERSON and OKAY in other people's eyes. I know my heart, but whenever I have acted on it (in my youth) it was met with TOTAL anger, belittling, physical violence, neglect, verbal abuse, etc. So now I am learning that this is not the way MOST people live. It's like a veil has been lifted. I was never encouraged to do ANYTHING, just "fit in" and "shut up". Now I'm sure this sounds all victim-y-and that's not how I intend it to be.

That is my OLD life, but I am here. I am Zaphirah Lael Sunflower. I am and never was S__________. That was a label put on me by some very unwell individuals and I want to be free of it. :)

[Revvell]

Yes. That is right. That is what I am trying to do. Learn.

and Yes, you are right-what I was talking about is interfering. It sounded to me that Draginvry was saying that his/her truth is all that really matters, but other people have to live their truths and have a right to do so without interference.

It is all that matters ~ to him. He's not interfering in anyone else's life. He's living HIS!




As I'm sure you can tell-seeking approval is my biggest flaw. I want to be seen a WHOLE and RIGHT in other people's eyes.

I can imagine that would be pretty tough since everyone has their opinion of how you should do that and what is right, eh?



I know my heart, but whenever I have acted on it (in my youth) it was met with TOTAL anger, belittling, physical violence, neglect, verbal abuse, etc. So now I am learning that this is not the way MOST people live. It's like a veil has been lifted. I was never encouraged to do ANYTHING, just "fit in" and "shut up". Now I'm sure this sounds all victim-y-and that's not how I intend it to be.

You should listen to my interview with Sandy Brewer who was continuously raped by her father and was told by her mother that she hated her and wished she was dead and whose mother told her father she would be gone for 3 days and when she came back she wanted Sandy dead. It's actually a fun, light-hearted, full-of-laughter interview. We had so much fun, we're doing another with her this week.




That is my OLD life, but I am here. I am Zaphirah Lael Sunflower. I am and never was Shannon Elizabeth Malone. That was a label put on me by some very unwell individuals and I want to be free of it. :)

There you go! Congratulations!

[Zaphirah]

Thanks, Doc. How much do I owe ya? :D :p :D

[Revvell]

Thanks, Doc. How much do I owe ya? :D :p :D

I'll letcha know after our IRS visit. :D

[Zaphirah]

they got you too, huh? so I guess a name change doesn't hide us from the gov't? :p

[Revvell]

they got you too, huh? so I guess a name change doesn't hide us from the gov't? :p

Actually, the opposite. They're concerned about JUST that. When I changed mine, about 18 years ago, I didn't even have to go to court. When I went to get a passport to go to Denmark to marry Bo, the youngster kept telling me I needed court papers in order to get it and that I HAD to have them. She didn't much like my telling her she was a toddler, barely walking 'bout the time I'd changed my name and things were a bit different then.

[Draginvry]

When you say "learning from each other", people will learn from you as you go about living YOUR life and you learn from them as you're doing here. Isn't that so?

Yes. You don't learn from people by copying them. You learn from them by studying them. And that's why nobody hardly learns anything, it's because nobody is really doing anything for themselves.

You can't love others until you love yourself. Love is the ultimate in selfishness. It is complete independence. This is why so few people find love. It's because they think independence is bad. "Political Correctness" is the rule of today's world. "Personal Correctness" is the rule of love.


I want to be seen as WHOLE PERSON and OKAY in other people's eyes.

This is an admirable goal. But if this is what is most important to you, then you will never be completely satisfied. There will always be someone who won't like your hairdo. There will always be someone who won't like the way you dress. There will always be someone who criticizes your diet. There will always be someone who thinks they are better than you. There will always be someone who plays tricks on you. There will always be someone who doesn't like your personality.

There will always be someone. You have to accept the fact that you don't have to make everyone like you. In fact, by trying to make everyone like you, you are already more selfish than you claim me to be, because you are not allowing people their own opinions. By becoming dependent on their opinions, you have also become the ultimate manipulator and trickster, because you "need" them to like you before you allow yourself to do what you want to do.

I am not advocating getting all up in someone's face and pushing them around, although occasionally that is necessary when dealing with really violent or ignorant people. But even then, it is not getting all up in someone's face that I am interested in. I am interested in accepting the fact that it is perfectly OK for me to do my thing, and for other people to do theirs. That's why I try not to force people to change. Instead, I talk. I present information. If someone decides that information is good for them, then more power to them. If not, then it doesn't matter, because I will still use my information to serve my own life and purpose.

Changing your name doesn't make you more spiritual. It's why you changed your name that counts. If you changed your name because you liked a different name, then good for you. But if you changed your name to impress other people, you haven't become an ounce more enlightened than you were before.

[Zaphirah]

I am not changing my name to impess other people. Not in the slightest. In fact, I think the opposite is more likely to happen. :cool:

I talked to dh about it. Now that I'm serious, he's no longer cool with it. He said it would be okay when we move to Cali (in 2021 :eek: ). We kinda left it hanging for now. Altho he has always said he wanted to change our last name now that I'm down with it, he's not. :rolleyes: He said the name was too fruity and that our children would be made fun of. They already have unique names, so I don't see the big deal. and he said he DEFINITELY did NOT want to be known as Mr. Sunflower. LOL!!!!!

[Percy]

I want to change my name too....

My name does not really fit with me and even unknow people told me when I was going to pay with my credit card.

I was born in Boston, and I'm caucassian, but my mom named me with a latino name... Several people like friends, cashiers and other employees that I've never meet, told me, "You do not look like a Fernando!"


I want to change it into a nice name, but not sure which name though, so I'll wait.

[Revvell]

... he said he DEFINITELY did NOT want to be known as Mr. Sunflower. LOL!!!!!

You don't have to have the same last names. We don't. Call yourselves anything you want. Play with your food; play with the name that suits each of you.

[Zaphirah]

That's what I told him. I think he was fine with the *idea* of a name change, but he is a VERY conservative person. I have NEVER seem him act impulsively or spontaneously, so this is a far stretch for him. I do have faith that we will have a successful resolution. I just need to be patient with him. *I've* been considering a name change most of my life, and I've had 6 months or so to get become resolved about the exact name that I feel is my true name. He's only had a day or so. He did know that I occasionally call myself Zaphirah and much of my mail is sent to Zaphirah, but he's just not too keen on the name and I don't think he took me seriously at first that I wanted to change it. I think he thought this was a phase.

He actually suggested that I get it TATTOOED on my body first. :p I told him that was more permanent than doing the paper work! BWAHAHAHA!

[Zaphirah]

(psst! I'm listening to the interview right now. Wow! POWERFUL STUFF! Thanks for turning me on to it!)

[Apasaraw]

Speaking of Mr. Sunflower and slightly OT-

Did any of you see the story of the fellow who wanted to take his wife's name after they married and had to fight 2 years to get it done. They just changed California law. (and the bloody form that caused the problem)

http://www.knbc.com/news/16167528/detail.html

[Raene]

I changed mine legally a few months ago and my partner just changed his legally a few weeks ago. We both don't have good relationships with our parents and our names reminded us of our unhappy childhoods. I feel amazing having changed names; although I've gone by my "new" name for 5 yrs now. It's great. :)
PS Our parents all were very angry and took it personally...they seem to think it's all about them, which it really isn't. We both never liked our real names either, and it's not like we did this to "hurt" our parents. It's our names...we have a right to choose them.

[Raine]

My name was legally changed many years ago. The entire name not just the first or last.

I highly recommend it!

[Zaphirah]

I keep getting slightly hung up on thinking about the "fall-out" re: such a change, but I keep reminding myself that is just static and residual dust of the old me. ;)

[Aleesha Sattva]

Aleesha-I know nothing about numerology, but that's what a new name feels like-like clearing away the cobwebs in my energy.

...But I do think it is a major symbol that I am commited to my new path-just as people take their spouses name in marriage-as a symbol that they have left their "old life" and are entering their new life. Does that make sense? It's early here. LoL!

Yup... I hear ya and I agree 100% :)

Now, stop talking about it and do it! Just do it!

AND if you change your mind down the road... you can always change it back :P

[Vivafree2]

I always wanted to change name - i still search to what? I grew up with three different names - all rather unusual and i don't really relate to any of them.
I am still searching for the name i will give myself one day when i will "tame"
and raise child in me.... and i still do not know who i will be when i will grow up- i guess artist. Please share what name would you give me...

[mybodymyway]

I too have considered changing my name and i have also felt the pressures from other individuals trying to sway my decisions. It not only applied to my name change decision but also my willingness to choose this lifestyle.

Bottom line is it's your life and essentially it's what ultimately makes you happy that counts.

:D