What if your child went non-raw?

[azalea]

I sometimes worry about what I'd do if my child decided not to eat raw later in life.... or even worse, what if she wanted to eat meat?! It's easy to say that kind of behavior, etc is not allowed under my roof, but after a certain age, there really isn't anything you can do. I want to instill values about veganism and healthy eating into my child, but what happens when she become curious about the things her friends and peers are eating and drinking? I definitely hope whatever curiousity she might have is trumped by her wanting to do the best by her body. But if she chooses to eat SAD foods, then I wouldn't want her to have to do it in hiding. I wouldn't want her to associate guild with eating.

This is kind of rambly (lol) but I was wondering if anyone here has dealt with a child eating SAD foods. Did they come back to raw? Or at least stay high raw, while incorproating sad foods?

:)

[Revvell]

My mother started me on the road to eating healthier when I was a kid. When I started making my own money, root beer float was my favorite drink.

As an adult, not feeling well, went back to mother's original teachings.. and then some.

IN your home, what EVERYone gets to eat is up to you. Outside? Up to them. That's how it is here, anyway. How it is there is up to you, of course.

[Rawkinlocs]

"Train up a child in the way it should go and when it is old, it will not depart from it".

You can only instill the best knowledge that you have and that you can in them now and once they are older, yes, sometimes they do "rebel" and go astray from their teachings...but most times, they return back to them.

Revvell's right...kids will go on and do their thing but when they start not feeling so well, etc. their mind is going to go back to their foundational teachings and they will make the decision on their own to make the necessary changes and adjustments.

I have asked my children (mainly the older ones) if they intend to eat raw when they get older and they say they don't know. I know my son will probably go buckwild with his eating once he leaves home but again...he will be reminded of what he was taught.

My oldest daughter even now, when she eats things contrary will say, "I need to get back on track" or something to that effect.

So, don't worry...when they're adults they will make their own choices...but momma's words will always be a part of them and when it's time, they will reflect back on them.

[Betsy]

I was talking about this with a friend. We both agree to refuse a sad treat to children will cause them to be curious later in life, then go crazy eating it. It's best to have moderation, and not be stringent.

Your example will be the best teacher with lifelong results they can always come back to later!!!:D

[Revvell]

We both agree to refuse a sad treat to children will cause them to be curious later in life, then go crazy eating it. It's best to have moderation, and not be stringent.


I do have to say here that SAD "treats" are the problem. "If you're good, you can have a 'treat'" which is how many ED's tend to start. People start giving themselves "treats" all the time to just help them know they are o.k..

Suggestion ~ make their "treats" raw ~ raw mylk shakes; raw brownies, strawberries crepes; fresh juicy peaches and strawberries. How one words things is what will create their own self-talk. If thinking it's o.k. to give someone junk food ~ i.e. sugar, artificial flavor/color, dairy, etc. as a "treat" is in my opinion, just wrong.

In my household, that's what we did. My father was the "treat" giver so, for me, I equate being a "good girl" with going to the bakery on Sunday mornings and the ice cream store on Sunday evenings.

My mother's "treats" were cookies with absolutely no sugar or sweetener of any kind except raisins.

I think, with raw, we have so many more options for "treats" than my mother knew about 50 years ago.

Find what your children love and "treat" them always, with love, kindness and great food.

[Betsy]

As I said before, (and, Revvell, we can agree to disagree) that people are curious and will probably try something just once if it's "forbidden food". Let children have a treat for heavens' sake, and don't be so darn ridgid!! It will mess up their life.

Enough said. I'm out of here.

[Revvell]

Let children have a treat for heavens' sake, and don't be so darn ridgid!! It will mess up their life.


Is it Sunday yet? I think my life is messed up. :rolleyes:

[coco]

my mom brought us up eating a very healthy diet and i credit her with my interest in health. however, during my teens i partied and ate lots of crap, stayed up late, polluted my body with chemicals, cigarettes, coffee and alcohol. while it's unfortunate that i did all of that during formative years when my body could have most used proper nutrition and care, it was my choice and no one could have told me any different.
we can wish for the best for our kids but what they do with their lives is entirely up to them. we can only instill certain values and set a good living example for them and give them the freedom to be their own people and to make choices for themselves. that's what they are going to do anyway, it might as well be with our blessing.

remember this:

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

[shine72]

"Train up a child in the way it should go and when it is old, it will not depart from it".

You can only instill the best knowledge that you have and that you can in them now and once they are older, yes, sometimes they do "rebel" and go astray from their teachings...but most times, they return back to them.

Revvell's right...kids will go on and do their thing but when they start not feeling so well, etc. their mind is going to go back to their foundational teachings and they will make the decision on their own to make the necessary changes and adjustments.

I have asked my children (mainly the older ones) if they intend to eat raw when they get older and they say they don't know. I know my son will probably go buckwild with his eating once he leaves home but again...he will be reminded of what he was taught.

My oldest daughter even now, when she eats things contrary will say, "I need to get back on track" or something to that effect.

So, don't worry...when they're adults they will make their own choices...but momma's words will always be a part of them and when it's time, they will reflect back on them.

My absolute favorite quote in regards to raising children


My mother started me on the road to eating healthier when I was a kid. When I started making my own money, root beer float was my favorite drink.

As an adult, not feeling well, went back to mother's original teachings.. and then some.

IN your home, what EVERYone gets to eat is up to you. Outside? Up to them. That's how it is here, anyway. How it is there is up to you, of course.

Exactly! My children eat what I say when in my house. They have options, and treats, but I control what comes into the house. Outside of the house (sleep overs, birthday parties), they will eat what they choose, which often is fruit.


I was talking about this with a friend. We both agree to refuse a sad treat to children will cause them to be curious later in life, then go crazy eating it. It's best to have moderation, and not be stringent.

Your example will be the best teacher with lifelong results they can always come back to later!!!:D

Who's definition of moderation. And since when did someone other than me or my husband earn the right to decide what goes into my child's mouth?


I do have to say here that SAD "treats" are the problem. "If you're good, you can have a 'treat'" which is how many ED's tend to start. People start giving themselves "treats" all the time to just help them know they are o.k..

Suggestion ~ make their "treats" raw ~ raw mylk shakes; raw brownies, strawberries crepes; fresh juicy peaches and strawberries. How one words things is what will create their own self-talk. If thinking it's o.k. to give someone junk food ~ i.e. sugar, artificial flavor/color, dairy, etc. as a "treat" is in my opinion, just wrong.

In my household, that's what we did. My father was the "treat" giver so, for me, I equate being a "good girl" with going to the bakery on Sunday mornings and the ice cream store on Sunday evenings.

My mother's "treats" were cookies with absolutely no sugar or sweetener of any kind except raisins.

I think, with raw, we have so many more options for "treats" than my mother knew about 50 years ago.

Find what your children love and "treat" them always, with love, kindness and great food.

Amen sister!


As I said before, (and, Revvell, we can agree to disagree) that people are curious and will probably try something just once if it's "forbidden food". Let children have a treat for heavens' sake, and don't be so darn ridgid!! It will mess up their life.

Enough said. I'm out of here.

Actually, by NOT allowing them a SAD treat, I am giving them the best shot at a healthy life they could possibly have. Don't see how that messes anything up.


my mom brought us up eating a very healthy diet and i credit her with my interest in health. however, during my teens i partied and ate lots of crap, stayed up late, polluted my body with chemicals, cigarettes, coffee and alcohol. while it's unfortunate that i did all of that during formative years when my body could have most used proper nutrition and care, it was my choice and no one could have told me any different.
we can wish for the best for our kids but what they do with their lives is entirely up to them. we can only instill certain values and set a good living example for them and give them the freedom to be their own people and to make choices for themselves. that's what they are going to do anyway, it might as well be with our blessing.

remember this:

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Because we can't go into religion here, I'll refrain from giving my full schpeel on my children's souls thank you. But, I will say, I am their PARENT, and as such, I have final say as to what goes into our house, and ultimately, into their developing bodies.

So, it's raw food, not SAD crap for them when I say so. PERIOD.

Oh, and for the record, my children ARE my children! And I worked damn hard to have them. So nothing and no one is going to tell me what they will or won't eat buy me.


People wonder what's wrong with kid's today, it's this kinda crap thinking.

:Steps off of soapbox now:

[Betsy]

my mom brought us up eating a very healthy diet and i credit her with my interest in health. however, during my teens i partied and ate lots of crap, stayed up late, polluted my body with chemicals, cigarettes, coffee and alcohol. while it's unfortunate that i did all of that during formative years when my body could have most used proper nutrition and care, it was my choice and no one could have told me any different.
we can wish for the best for our kids but what they do with their lives is entirely up to them. we can only instill certain values and set a good living example for them and give them the freedom to be their own people and to make choices for themselves. that's what they are going to do anyway, it might as well be with our blessing.

remember this:

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.


i LOVE this! Thanks for posting!!

[walnutty]

Three words:

Example, example, example...

[coco]

wow, now khalil gibran is crap that's the cause of what's wrong with today's children? someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning... good luck to you when your kids hit their teens.

[Revvell]

I find it interesting how people will take their children to their church, they'll bring them up in so many ways to be "like" them; they want them to follow so many of their "ideals" yet, when it comes to nourishing their their little bodies, they back off and give them SAD crap "because they like it".

Anyway, I'm not sure who/what we're talking about here. When I say feed them what YOU eat (because you know it's good, it's nourishing, it's revitalizing) I'm talking about ~ this is "MY" home, not a restaurant, you eat what I eat. Outside of home? Well, they'll do as they will.

I do understand that for some, it has to be a transition because of a spouse, etc. OR, the adults changed when the kids were teens. Well, that brings up other challenges, eh?

Anyway, as Waluntty says, "example, example, example".

For me, whoever comes here eats what I eat ~ or doesn't eat. Doesn't matter, adults, children, etc. They don't bring coffee, coke, SAD crap, etc. into my home of healing. It is what it is.

Revvell

[Zaphirah]

In my house, I am the only raw foodie. My dh is a reformed Cocopuffs/Capt'n Crunch-aholic. he does his best to eat healthy/vegetarian 90% of the time. The children tend to side w/ dh because, after all, it's easier. :rolleyes:

BUT, that said one 10 yo recently went vegetarian. They see what I eat and often ask for a bite. My veggie son asks for raw foods quite frequently. My 7 yo ds eats 5-10 apples a day, sometimes closer to 20. I do cook for them/dh, BUT the rule is you don't have to eat what I cook, but you can only have fruit/veggies for the rest of the night. My dd hasn't had a cooked supper in weeks! LOL!

I am not willing to FORCE my beliefs on them. I offer them education and lead by example. I have to let them find their own way and I'm am nearly 100% certain that as they get older they WILL go raw to heal what ails them. My veggie son has started to get acne already! I told him that going raw would cure it, so he has been consciously adding more and more raw foods.

I want them to find their OWN way. I'm not the kind of mom that tries to protect them from bumps and bruises or in this case tummy aches and acne. LOL!

I expect rebellion, on a certain scale. They don't want to be carbon copies of me, not do I want that for them.

I have full confidence that raw is the "wave of the future" and will become mainstream in the next 10-20 years and they will be right there to say "We knew it all along!"

[klomasius]

I can understand the intense need to provide children with perfect nutrition and cater to their growing bodies with the food that is best for them.

But I guess being immersed in a cooked world myself, I'd find my child would come away with negative attitudes toward health food if I tried to strictly regulate what he ate all the time and never let him have the things he sees his dad eat and wants. I trade the compromises now for the positive effects later on.

For me, like any other belief I hold myself, I do not want my son to be a carbon copy of me.

Rather, I want to give him the mental tools to navigate his way around the world on his own terms, in his own way.

If this means that out of the house, and occasionally in it, he will eat food that is less than perfectly nutritious, it means that he does.

But this is a calculated strategy on my part, as I find he is much like me when I was younger. I developed a rebellious tendency toward anything my mother imposed as a strict regime or rule, especially if I thought that it was being unfair or extreme.

As a consequence, I did end up rebelling quite seriously, especially in the area of alcohol. I drank copious quantities of it, but not because I liked it (I actually disliked the taste) but because it was something I wanted to do because I knew it was against the rules and my mother would get her knickers in a twist if she found out.

I wish I hadn't now, and I believe my health was affected by it (though I think I've fully recovered... I think).

Now I could wish that I wasn't such a stupid teen, but I'd be wishing to be the exception to the rule really, as I've come to realise so many others did the same thing with the hard and fast rules of their childhood households.

Instead, I've learned a valuable lesson and have decided to appeal to his intellect (and his tastebuds) and talk about the fascinating mechanics of the body and how the very food we eat determines how healthy we are.

I show him all the delicious foods on the photos only threads (you have NO idea how this has helped! THANKYOU!), I make him delicious healthy foods and talk about the nutrients in them and what they do for the body. I let him have his healthy treats and bring as much positivity to vibrant healthy foods for him as I can.

BUT, I also do let him have 'junk' food (mainly cooked health foods). I allow him to have these and we talk about how these things aren't so good for the body so shouldn't be eaten often. I do this with little fanfare, I talk about how advertisments trick children into wanting junk food, about how this is the way they make money and they don't care that it hurts people, etc... etc... all in reasonable tones and not too much fuss.

The results?

Increasingly, in my son's mind, healthy foods = vibrant, good for you, tasty, makes you happy, smart, not being tricked, makes you live longer, fun etc.

Junk food = makes you unhealthy, being tricked, wasteful packaging, makes you have less energy, makes you feel sad, etc.

As a recent example, today his father, who eats veggie SAD, was at the shop with him and they left the produce section without greens. My 7 yo son suggested he go back and get some greens for my son to eat! A 7 year old kid. A child who has grown up in a school environment of SAD eating kids, where many think that McDonalds is great.

Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to share with you all the fact that building the foundation for lifelong healthy eating doesn't have to be so rigid. In fact, for me (and I suspect it would be for my son) it was detrimental for a significant part of my growing young adult phase because of rebellion.

I've now watched other parents go through this same thing, but from an adults point of view.

I've also watched some great approaches that have minimised, or even completely sidestepped rebellion, by teens and older kids that were similarly wayward in nature to me. This is where I have picked up my approach, which has been greatly successful so far.

But each to their own.

:)

[shine72]

wow, now khalil gibran is crap that's the cause of what's wrong with today's children? someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning... good luck to you when your kids hit their teens.

No, but it's the let kids do whatever they will attitude that I was talking about, which that quote caters to.

And no, I did not get up on the wrong side of the bed. I just have issue when people say let kids eat crap cause they like it. Kids like playing with matches from time to time in the woods, does that mean we should let them do that too? One kills them slowly, the other quickly.

And I don't force things on my children. My daughter says when she's a grown up, she wants to eat 1/2 raw, 1/2 cooked. I told her that's great. And when she's out with others, I don't control what she eats. However, like Revvell said, when you come into my home, you eat what's here. You don't bring junk in my home. You enjoy the fruits of my labor, and everyone has a great time. And there is someone on this board who can attest to the atmosphere in my home, she's been here on more than one occassion. It is not one of dictatorship. It is one of love, acceptance, caring, positivity, and more raw yumminess than you can shake a stick at.

As to good luck when they're teens. Raising children is not about rules or lack thereof. Raising children is about cultivating relationships, which I've done a mighty fine job of with ALL of my children. So thanks, but I don't need "luck".

[coco]

seriously, you are coming off as pretty crabby. whatever, if you feel that confidant about your parenting good for you, more power to ya. i wonder why you even bothered to ask the question here if you didn't actually want to hear anyone else's opinion though.

btw, that quote is not about letting kids do whatever they want, it's about recognizing that no one, not even our children "belong" to us. they are their own people and will do what they wish with their lives regardless of what we want for them. the quote is about recognizing their individuality and allowing them to be their own separate entity without being so invested in the outcome. parents can't control their kids no matter how hard they try, in fact the harder they try the less "control" they end up having in the end.

[shine72]

I didn't pose the question. And I'm not crabby. It's just hard for you to know that through typing. One of the pitfalls of online communication.;)

[Zaphirah]

that quote is not about letting kids do whatever they want, it's about recognizing that no one, not even our children "belong" to us. they are their own people and will do what they wish with their lives regardless of what we want for them. the quote is about recognizing their individuality and allowing them to be their own separate entity without being so invested in the outcome. parents can't control their kids no matter how hard they try, in fact the harder they try the less "control" they end up having in the end.

oh! Oh! I am working so hard on this right now!!!!! Seriously. I'm exhausted from trying to keep the separation. LOL! I don't know why, but I haven't thought of my dc this way in a long time...at least not consciously and actively like I am trying to do now.

[Betsy]

seriously, you are coming off as pretty crabby. whatever, if you feel that confidant about your parenting good for you, more power to ya. i wonder why you even bothered to ask the question here if you didn't actually want to hear anyone else's opinion though.

btw, that quote is not about letting kids do whatever they want, it's about recognizing that no one, not even our children "belong" to us. they are their own people and will do what they wish with their lives regardless of what we want for them. the quote is about recognizing their individuality and allowing them to be their own separate entity without being so invested in the outcome. parents can't control their kids no matter how hard they try, in fact the harder they try the less "control" they end up having in the end.

Thanks again! We think alike! HEE!;)

[Betsy]

Is it Sunday yet? I think my life is messed up. :rolleyes:

HA! Poor Revvel....Hugs to you!!:) It's O.K. Sunday's almost here, LOL!!

[Rawkinlocs]

See, this is why when it comes to the issue of parenting that it's like walking on egg shells. NO parent likes to be told they're "wrong" in how they choose to bring their children up.

Some parents use parenting styles that "allow their children to be who they are" (i.e. wearing whatever they want to wear, smoking, swearing, etc.) and someone else may look at that as them not parenting at all. Other parents are more stern and provide more discipline and guidelines and then someone else looking at them may view it was them "ruining" their children by trying to control them.

It's just not feasible to say whether someone is right or wrong in how they parent. I know MY personal beliefs (stated it in my original post) but not everyone can receive that.

Also, I think we can discuss this without any name-calling or disrespect towards one another and if not...then perhaps this is not the discussion for you.

We all have and are entitled to our opinions so let's express them, but WITHOUT any unnecessary harshness and rudeness towards each other. If this is not attainable, then I'll just close this thread.

Thanks!

Now on that note...while I do realize that no, we cannot and should not expect our children to be "clones" of us...we can, however, lay the foundation. Sure, they probably will go exploring outside of that but it's always going to be in them. I can't tell you how many friends of mine and even family members who brought their children up with certain moral/spiritual standards and I watched those kids grow up, go all kinds of buckwild and then later on in their adult lives, they come right back to what was instilled in them.

Also, there is a difference between forcing and guiding. I do expect certain things of my kids (going to church is one of them) but I don't take on the attitude, "You're going 'cause I said so"...I like to break things down for my kids and I see a difference. They WANT to go to church and do not feel forced because of how it was presented to them.

Revvell brought up an excellent point too...it IS more of a challenge with having kids eat raw when the parent decided to do it late in the game...after having fed the kids SAD foods for most of their lives growing up. That is my challenge. My two eldest grew up eating some of everything. So now, because I stumbled across raw foodism...should I "make" them go all raw too? It's almost a catch-22 situation. It's also a personal decision/choice every parent has to make for themselves.

[GypsiAnsara]

Wow. intense thread.

Parents do weird things to their kids out of love!

I like to look at the home we live in as everyone's house, not just mine, or the adults and everyone else is a boarder. It's everyone's home and everyone's body is their own, and we live and learn and share our knowledge together.

My husband and I choose to parent by example. We are constantly evolving and adapting and learning. When a child is raised understanding that they are making their decisions freely, with knowledge and support, they tend to make very healthy choices - and not just food wise. And if perhaps they don't choose a healthy option, their ability to learn from the experience is much heightened, and they have the parental support and guidance free of judgment to assist them through the situation.

I truly believe that constant and open discussion, free from judgment and punishment, full of love and trust, is key if the children are to grow up making decisions that will benefit their full self as well as the world we live in.

BTW, I love the Khalil Ghibran poem. I'm going to read it again as a cleanse!

[Conscious Midwife]

I sometimes worry about what I'd do if my child decided not to eat raw later in life....
:)

The key is not to worry. Do your best through education and EXAMPLE.

I have a phenonminal 20 year old more than 2000 miles away at college. When she left I had a list of worries that I had to let go off so that she could live, grow and learn on her own terms and so that I could continue to parenting the younger four with sanity.

She didn't leave the house RAW. She's learning through experience that dairy doesn't agree with her. BRAVO, she learned that and remembers the side effects. So now what I've always been teaching has been reinforced. She gave it up cold turkey, because she already had learned at home that she didn't need milk and grew up at home thriving without milk. Same thing happened with a handful a fast food burgers.

She's improving every semester and is getting into the green smoothie kick. Something I wasn't doing when she left for college but something I recently told her about that works for her schedule and her palate.

[coco]

okey doke. it can be hard to get the full flavour of a convo in this flat medium for sure.

glad to hear so many love that passage as much as i.

[Dandelion Girl]

It seems very strange that people think that giving kids the best nutrition is being controlling, rigid, stringent. I don't think Kahlil Gabran ever meant that we shouldn't take care of our kids and keep them safe while they are growing up. While they are growing up, it is our responsibility to take care of them. One wouldn't let them run into traffic in order not to "make them like you". Feeding them the best nutrition is taking care of them. It is not taking away their individuality.

As far as accusing Sunshine of being controlling and crabby, I have experience with seeing how Sunshine and her kids are. She is definitely not controlling and her kids are all developing their unique individual interests. Their home is a very happy, loving home. Her kids understand how much better raw food is for them and help prepare it.
She just takes her responsibility for their health seriously and understands that giving them SAD "treats" is not helping them. And she is about as far from being crabby as anyone I know. And Revvell is about as far from being rigid as anyone I know. Both have the healthy boundary of not allowing people to bring crap into their homes. I think that is something that should be admired. Some may chose not to make that choice, but there is no need to call people names when they do.

[Ginger]

I agree that people have to choose their own path and that you cannot and should never force your dietary habits & beliefs on anyone else, that each must choose his own path. But with children.. they do not know what is best for them, they would sit and eat twinkies and ice cream all day if you let them. You have to have some kind of boundaries. I'm not saying force them to eat raw or anything.. But merely setting a good example while feeding your child fried chicken and coke is not going to do them any good. Infact it makes it much greater a challenge to make good decisions around foods because those foods are drugs and they mess with the brain. Once they are old enough to make an informed decision and they choose chips and pizza, fine. When they are old enough to be responsible for themselves and can take care of themselves when their bodies start malfunctioning and getting sick. But when they are young, good habits need to be set.

[MaineMomof4]

seriously, you are coming off as pretty crabby. whatever, if you feel that confidant about your parenting good for you, more power to ya. i wonder why you even bothered to ask the question here if you didn't actually want to hear anyone else's opinion though.

btw, that quote is not about letting kids do whatever they want, it's about recognizing that no one, not even our children "belong" to us. they are their own people and will do what they wish with their lives regardless of what we want for them. the quote is about recognizing their individuality and allowing them to be their own separate entity without being so invested in the outcome. parents can't control their kids no matter how hard they try, in fact the harder they try the less "control" they end up having in the end.

I agree that our children don't "belong" to us but without getting too religious.. everything that happens is Gods plan for them, there is no free will and everything that happens happens for a reason. We can only do the best that we can do to raise our children in the way that we hope they will be but even us doing that is not something we can take all the credit for and there will always be sinful things of the world trying to pull us or our children away from what we know is right.

I agree that in my home people eat what I allow and outside of my home say at Nana & Grampies my rules still apply for the most part with me allowing something ONCE in WHILE if it is ran by me first and at birthday parties or friends homes I allow the kids to choose if they would like what is being offered within certain limits (hotdogs are a no no and anything loaded up with high fructose corn syrup or artificial dyes!) I'm not worried about my kids fitting in with the other kids, at least I know I can feel good at the end of the day knowing that I didn't poison my kids body with SAD food or poison their minds by sending them to the public school system!

Coco and Betsy to each his own and I think ganging up on Shine and calling her crabby for her opinion was rude. Maybe you shouldn't come on this forum if you can't handle someone not agreeing with your opinion.

[Betsy]

Coco and Betsy to each his own and I think ganging up on Shine and calling her crabby for her opinion was rude. Maybe you shouldn't come on this forum if you can't handle someone not agreeing with your opinion.

What are you even talking about?:eek: I NEVER said Shine was crabby NOR did I ever gang up on her, eaither. You have a problem with your classifications and so therefore maybe YOU shouldn't be on this forum if you can't withhold unjustified critical personal opinions of others. You need lots of help, deary. and I really have had quite enough of you

ta Ta

[MaineMomof4]

First of all Betsy before you freak out I didn't say that YOU said Shine was crabby Coco did. But when you responded to her post below I thought you were agreeing with her about Shine being crabby when you said "We think alike, HEE" I apologize if I misread what you were saying, but I just sense a bit of arrogance in you especially telling me that I need help "DEARY" and you're done with me, ta ta" Now what was that all about, sounds like you are the one who needs help with not getting carried away with your emotions just because I thought that you were agreeing with COCO'S post about Shine. Calm down I'm not here for confrontation just to chat with others about RAW FOOD, not to name call, throw around an attitude, or be judgemental. It's over lets just let it go and focus on the topic of the thread.


seriously, you are coming off as pretty crabby. whatever, if you feel that confidant about your parenting good for you, more power to ya. i wonder why you even bothered to ask the question here if you didn't actually want to hear anyone else's opinion though.

btw, that quote is not about letting kids do whatever they want, it's about recognizing that no one, not even our children "belong" to us. they are their own people and will do what they wish with their lives regardless of what we want for them. the quote is about recognizing their individuality and allowing them to be their own separate entity without being so invested in the outcome. parents can't control their kids no matter how hard they try, in fact the harder they try the less "control" they end up having in the end.

[shine72]

MaineMomof4 - Your intent was admirable, but I promise you, not necessary.:) I don't really care what others think of me.;)

That being said, I was pondering something yesterday, but by the time I could get back to the computer, I was way too tired to post.

I was thinking about the comments of "just let them have the treat", and someone said if you're too controlling, it'll ruin them. And I was trying to think of an example of someone who didn't give their kids the choice as to whether or not to be raw and how they turned out (ruined or not). I think a fantastic example of someone not giving their kids the choice whether or not to be raw was Victoria Boutenko. And I have to tell ya'll, I really hope my kids end up as ruined as hers.;)

As an aside, to show you how things don't always go through online very well sometimes, I asked my oldest his opinion on whether he considers me crabby or controlling. He couldn't stop laughing! He asked me why I would ever ask that question, and gave me the "no Mom" in the DUH voice that teens give when you ask an annoying question. I told him about this thread. He said ya'll obviously don't know me very well.;) I then let him read through the thread. He told me if I'm crabby and controlling, he hopes I always stay that way. Cause both of those statements couldn't be further from the truth.

Betsy and MaineMomof4, you know, you can go in and edit your own posts right? So if there's anything you think may seem condescending (and no, not pointing fingers, just saying), you can edit it out. I would hate for Rawkinlocs to have to make good on closing this thread.

I think there can be dialog without name calling. Can we please try to keep it that way ya'll? I hate seeing threads get shut down. And I used to be a moderator! I still hate seeing that happen though.

Thanks ya'll!

[Revvell]

Add Storm and Jinjee's kids to Victoria's. Their eldest has been rebellious about eating raw at times if I remember correctly. I think it's in my interviews with Jinjee.

Revvell

[shine72]

That's right Revvell! I totally forgot about that! Thanks!:D Yeah, if I ruin my kids like that, I'll be the happiest Momma I know!;) :D

[coco]

well, seems to me that the two of us have worked things out between us and now some of the rest of you feel the need to hijack the thread to get into it. how about we let it go and get back on subject, hmm? shine seems to be quite capable of clarifying her position without help and like she said, things are easily misinterpreted online. no harm no foul, nobody is crabby, we're all just passionate. good for us.

i don't let the kids run the kitchen, period. i am the boss of that and that's just how it should be. but i don't run their lives entirely and there's no way to even hope for that. i explain the why and what for as best i can and hope that those lessons become a part of their logical processes and then i leave it up to them. imagine if i was running around after them at age 20, or even age 16 telling them what they should want. it just wouldn't work! i'm hardly going to fill the cupboards with lunchables for them but i'm also not going to follow them to school and make sure they don't buy candy with their allowances. i don't want eating to be about guilt in any way, that's a great path to an eating disorder. and i would like them to feel they can come to me with any problem, regardless of how i might approve. if i give them grief about a sandwich how can they trust me with questions about drinking, drugs and sex? they need to know that i accept them no matter what they do, not that i approve, just that i accept them.

a treat at this age is nowhere near as dire as cigarettes and alcohol later on but it's the same issue on a different scale and how i treat them now will really affect how we interact together later on. my kids have an excellent diet, it will keep them healthy for life i'm sure. i'm not going to fret over every single bite of food that goes into their mouths because in the grand scheme of things i don't think it make that much of a difference. they ARE going to be tempted by crap at one point or another, it's inevitable. what they do about it is ultimately up to them and i'm fooling myself if i think differently.

[azalea]

Revvell: Do you by any chance have a link to Jinjee's interview? I'd love to know how she gently enforced raw with her kids :)

[Revvell]

Revvell: Do you by any chance have a link to Jinjee's interview? I'd love to know how she gently enforced raw with her kids :)

http://rawfood.revvell.com/2006/12/05/revvell-interviews-jinjee-talifero-in-this-second-interview.aspx

Maybe this is the first one although by the date it looks like #2: http://rawfood.revvell.com/2007/03/11/jinjee-pt1.aspx

We changed servers so everything had to be uploaded manually.

[azalea]

thanks! :)

[Jerseygirl]

Honestly, I'll be happy if my children stay at least vegan.

I don't consider them 'raw' right now, but I do incorporate a lot of raw foods into my oldest child's routine since I'm not going to go out of my way to buy something i know I'm not going to eat. But I want her to have a little flexibility in school and not feel like a complete outcast. Of course she could be the coolest kid in school if I buy her some bento boxes!

She's a pretty hardcore vegan....very preachy for an almost 6 year old-if she wants to be raw then more power to her. I'm nursing my newborn currently so I haven't had to deal with him yet.

[MaineMomof4]

Coco & Betsy I just want to say sorry for getting in the middle of your conversation and the conversation between you and anyone else. I know we are all just passionate parents and I'm sure we're all mature enough to agree to disagree or agree =) I'm glad we can put it behind us and let by gone be by gone. :)

[ltcartwright]

Now that I look back on it, I wish my parents didn't give me "treats" when I was growing up. I've battled with my weight since I was 11 years old. The same mother and father that fed me the high carb, fried, fatty foods were the same to say to me, "You're getting fat girl, you need to slow down!" Ummm, you were the ones that offered me the food. If you didn't want me to continue to eat it knowing its side effects, why feed it to me.

I don't think offering children sweets or junk food is a treat. I didn't think that before, and I don't think that now. I know it gets people really mad when you say that because they think you're calling them bad parents. But think about it, to a child candy is good tasting because it's sweet. You as the parents know that candy has no nutritional value and too much rots the teeth or leads to other problems. So why would you give a child candy? What benefit will it be adding to their life? Making them feel good/special/loved?? Candy shouldn't be the thing that does that for them. I resolved not to give our daughter sweets or junk, this caused my husband to get raving mad at me (I still can't figure out why?) Junk food and candy will not be the measuring stick my daughter measures my love for her. I will treat her, by making sweets for her that are healthy and taste good.

In your mind as an adult, you know the concept of moderation (even if you don't follow it yourself), but for a child they can't understand moderation, once you do it, its kinda hard to tell them, well I'll only do this if you do/be/act like that.... That's messed up! That's how you ruin a life. (I'm not calling anyone a bad parent, so don't blow up on me.)

I say, show the child the "right" way or the "healthy" way FIRST, then let them make up their minds later. The parents of this generation have no excuse because the information and help is available to us. I've only been raw for 4 days, but I've seen the benefits and will be leading my daughter towards that path. I'll get criticize and argued with, but in the end, I would have done my part. The final decision will be up to her.

[Eva]

This thread has been eye opening for a number of reasons.

My two cents -- knowledge is power. At home, I believe there is no reason to stock it with items that would harm the human body. Why not calmly, intelligently and respectfully teach kids about the reasons we have different foods at home and why we do not have other foods?

And with compassion, let them know that they don't have to share all of this information with other people. Explain how food is a very sensitive topic for a lot of people (like parenting styles!) -- so it's not necessary to try to convince others to eat the same way.

Everything we do as parents sends kids a message. If they are treated maturely, and we have mature conversations about food with them, then they would rightly be confused if we then gave them SAD/CRAP treats.

The kids will make their own decisions as they get older. But they deserve the power of the knowledge and positive example we can share.