HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how to tell my parents that bread is not the best for my son

[rawfoodmommy#1]

How do you explain that bread is not very good for children? My mom and dad keeps pushing bread on my 2 years old son and I keep fighting with them but it's just been getting really bad, to the point that yesterday my dad gave my son tiny piece of bread. Oh, how upset I was so that I just left with my son.
Is there research saying that bread is bad for small children?
Any advice would help
thank you

[Raene]

I don't know of any articles, but I imagine one thing you could say is that more and more children are born with severe gluten allergies and that you'd really prefer your child to not have any glutinous foods just in case...I know that with my daughter I held off on peanuts for 3 yrs b/c apparently it's safer to hold off...so why not tell them you're holding off on gluten?

[JennaBoBenna]

There are plenty of books about how grains are not suitable for humans. Esp. unsprouted and refined wheat! There's a few articles on Mercola.com, also

[Anastazia]

There's a book called, "Grain Damage" but i can't remember who it's by...are they open at all to healthy eating, & your lifestyle choices?

You could always just google it, with a variety of ways to word it...
~Anastazia~

[Dimond]

Simple answer: Flour mixed with water makes glue.

[walnutty]

I don't mean to sound rude, but....I would tell your parents that it is your decision that he not have bread and you expect them to abide by your decision.

[shakti17]

grain damage is by doug graham...

i can relate....my father wants to give my son sugar! like i am depriving him....but i think he knows i m right.

[Conscious Midwife]

Let them know that as a condition of you visiting that you need to have your wishes respected, otherwise you'd be glad to email them photos of his wonderful life.

[rawfoodmommy#1]

There's a book called, "Grain Damage" but i can't remember who it's by...are they open at all to healthy eating, & your lifestyle choices?

You could always just google it, with a variety of ways to word it...
~Anastazia~
No, they are not open to eating healthy and my lifestyle choices. They think that they already eat healthy and that they live a pretty good lifestyle. My dad is more flexible but my mom is the one who gets my dad to tell me that I should start eating bread and all kinds of other junk I can never imagine eating.

[rawfoodmommy#1]

Simple answer: Flour mixed with water makes glue.

I told them the same thing but they do not believe me. Do you know of some research that proves this point?
thank you

[coco]

grain damage is a good place to start.

personally i don't think it's too much to ask that people respect the choices that YOU as the parent are making with for your family. grandparents already had a chance to raise children and do things their own way and now it is their children's turn to decide what is best and what is right, for better or for worse. it is a terrible thing to have your authority with your children undermined by well meaning family members and friends but the resulting damage to your relationship with your child can be far worse than a little piece of bread ever will be.
frankly, if this was my situation i would be laying down the law with my mom and dad. i would kindly and gently tell that that i would not be visiting or allowing them to visit without their promise to respect my choices and to show that they supported my decisions in front of my children. it doesn't take a child psychologist to realize that if kids don't grow up thinking that mom is right, pretty soon they will stop listening to her about every and anything. this can not happen, especially today with the dangerous behavior of young people.

i don't think this kind of issue is about proving that bread, or dairy or meat or whatever, is not good to eat. it's about something else entirely and i don't want to waste my time proving every little thing to everyone who wants to challenge me.
i wish to fascilitate a relationship of respect between my children and myself, one where they understand that I, their mother, am making choices that are the very best for them. i certainly will not let a grandparent destroy that no matter how good their intentions. i think it's reasonable to expect them to do quite the opposite in fact.

good luck with this, family is so important when raising children but ultimately they have to respect you first and foremost.

[subbacultcha]

I told them the sample thing but they do not believe me. Do you know of some research that proves this point?
thank you

You can let them see for themselves - get them to make bread and see how hard it is to clean up the bowls and table top - imagine how it sticks to your stomach lining!

[rawfoodmommy#1]

Let them know that as a condition of you visiting that you need to have your wishes respected, otherwise you'd be glad to email them photos of his wonderful life.

That's a great idea but one little but, I am their neighbor, we share a duplex. They live in one half and we leave in other and we do have everything separate. They are just separated by wall. The only thing I do is avoid going there at all cost and if I do go it's usually because my mom comes over and takes my son over to her half without even asking me. Sometimes I get so upset and even angry that I tell my husband that I better live on the street then in this house that we are renting from my parents. And the only reason we live there is because my husband or I, myself do not have a good job yet to afford living in some other rented home plus my husband is going to college full time.
I am trying to figure out what I can do from home so we can move out but having a 2 yrs old baby boy who is very energetic and having no one to watch him makes it a little bit more harder. I guess I will just have to keep praying for a job. Sorry for such a long post.

[rawfoodmommy#1]

grain damage is a good place to start.

personally i don't think it's too much to ask that people respect the choices that YOU as the parent are making with for your family. grandparents already had a chance to raise children and do things their own way and now it is their children's turn to decide what is best and what is right, for better or for worse. it is a terrible thing to have your authority with your children undermined by well meaning family members and friends but the resulting damage to your relationship with your child can be far worse than a little piece of bread ever will be.
frankly, if this was my situation i would be laying down the law with my mom and dad. i would kindly and gently tell that that i would not be visiting or allowing them to visit without their promise to respect my choices and to show that they supported my decisions in front of my children. it doesn't take a child psychologist to realize that if kids don't grow up thinking that mom is right, pretty soon they will stop listening to her about every and anything. this can not happen, especially today with the dangerous behavior of young people.

i don't think this kind of issue is about proving that bread, or dairy or meat or whatever, is not good to eat. it's about something else entirely and i don't want to waste my time proving every little thing to everyone who wants to challenge me.
i wish to fascilitate a relationship of respect between my children and myself, one where they understand that I, their mother, am making choices that are the very best for them. i certainly will not let a grandparent destroy that no matter how good their intentions. i think it's reasonable to expect them to do quite the opposite in fact.

good luck with this, family is so important when raising children but ultimately they have to respect you first and foremost.

You are making a good point here. They are undermining my authority as a mother and I do not like that. Each time he visits their house he comes home rebellious and does not want to listen to what I say. I guess I really have to put my foot down and say that they are not aloud to visit or we won't visit unless they respect our decisions. Thank you so much for reinforcing this for me.

[rawfoodmommy#1]

You can let them see for themselves - get them to make bread and see how hard it is to clean up the bowls and table top - imagine how it sticks to your stomach lining!

Maybe I will try this in front of them and see what they think.
One other thing is they are Christians and abide by the Bible very strictly and somewhere in the Bible it says that it's good to eat bread so they always tell me that i should read my Bible more and abide by it and not listen to what other people say. so it is hard to challenge them because they think the Bible is the only truth.
I am a Christian too but I believe God gave us a choice to eat vegetables and fruits and other foods. We can make our own choices.

[rawfoodmommy#1]

Just wanted to thank everyone for their honest and kind post. Please, keep posting and maybe someone will come up with a better solution then mine for my problems because it seems that no matter what I do they do not want to listen and of coarse they think that my way of eating is wrong and not very good for my son. They think I should become like they are and eat "normal" and not this crazy rabbit food which I love so much.
thank you all so much this is the best forum ever

[coco]

have you ever heard of Hallelujah Acres? they teach healthy living from a biblical perspective.

http://www.hacres.com/home/home.asp

good luck with this, it sounds like your parents have your best interest at heart but don't respect you or your choices very much. that's too bad, it may cause a rift between you that drives you far apart. i'm sure they wouldn't want that to happen. i hope they will try to see your point and do what's best for your family, respect you and allow you to live your own life.

have you told your mom about your son's attitude when he comes home from their house and how it makes life hard on him when he is disobediant to you? they aren't really doing him any favours.

[smalltownraw]

Even if you do manage to “convince” your parents that bread is not good for your son, what will be next? Seriously, you know it won’t stop there. Sounds like some major boundary issues to me. You are a married adult woman, no longer a child. What are you afraid will happen if you put your foot down?

There are a lot of resources out there to develop healthy “Boundaries”. (I know from personal experience with my in laws, 12 yrs of trying to negotiate issues that were really no ones business but my husbands and mine) You can love your parents and be a good daughter without feeling, and being treated like you are still ten. I am sure they love you, just as you love them. At what age do you get respected as a woman, wife, and mother, 20, 26, 37, 43, 58??? Maybe at the age you are when you (and your husband) set your boundaries with others.

Sorry if I crossed any lines here, my heart goes out to you!

[WHyIsMyAccountDisabled?]

It doesn't stick to your stomach lining. The stomach acid cuts it rather quickly. That's a myth. Don't fight ignorance with theatrics. It can come back to bite you with very little research efforts on their part. If you want to win on bread=bad with people who don't believe what you do, you have to do it on their playing field so to speak. Maybe some of these will help

http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20040803/too-much-white-bread-giving-you-big-belly
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_209.html
WHY WHITE BREAD IS BAD FOR YOU (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/328704/why_is_white_bread_so_bad_for_you.html)

Pay attention to the Vegetarians and minerals section (http://www.vitamin-update.com/optimum-health-detail.cfm/id/5.html)
check out the part about grain fibers and other materials blocking zinc absorption in children (http://www.active.com/story.cfm?CHECKSSO=0&STORY_ID=5578)

There are several search options you can use on google. Just get creative. The gist is that white bread is very bad for you as it's bleached, thus extra chemicals, refined, extra fat absorption, and nutritionally deficient through oxidation. many "whole grain" breads block the absorption of zinc, this can be devastating in children.

I'm trying to find the reference but there's also an article out there that discusses the research on refined sugars and refined flours and compares the body's reaction to them as similar to the reaction a drug addicts body develops to cocaine (though obviously not in as intense a fashion but over the long run . . . )

Don't go at it from a difference in dietary standards of yours versus theirs. Hit them with info in such a way that they can't argue intelligently, with the experts they normally agree with.

I Hope this helps.

[Aleesha Sattva]

i'm really big on communication.

i would call a family meeting. everyone sits down together and you and your hubby can explain to your parents that they got to choose how to raise you and now it's your turn to choose how to raise your children.

you welcome their support but not their criticism.

if they disagree, let them know your doors will be locked for now on, so they can only visit when you say it's okay. no more taking your son without asking. after all... if you get into the practice of not always knowing where you son is... if he's ever in trouble, taken by a stranger, etc., then you would not be reacting quickly enough (thinking they've simply taken him again).

hope some of this helps. but honestly... i find sitting down and talking FIRST is always the best step. sitting down as a family with them will show solidarity.

[coco]

i think all of this research is terrific if your intention is to strengthen your own beliefs and reaffirm your choices for yourself but trying to convince someone who doesn't want to see your point of view is a fruitless effort. you could present them with a mountain of proof which they will stubbornly refuse to even consider so WHY bother? most people believe every word they hear on tv, everything their doctor tells them, every claim made by any manufacturer of anything. it's a sheeple mentality and it's very hard to fight.
i am only trying to save and enlighten the world one person at a time ~~ME! if others learn by the example i set, great. if not, oh well. i'm not responsible for them and what they do. it's not up to me to try and change people's minds, to force change on them. that's not my job and it's a great big load of endless frustration and disappointment to boot.

you can't convince anyone of anything that they aren't ready and willing to believe. i think that focussing on that task takes too much away from what i SHOULD be doing with my life, mainly Living it for myself!

i love my friends and family but as much as i wish them to allow me my own thoughts and feelings, i have to be willing to do the same for them. they think that they are right and trying to force it on me, if i turn around with my "rightness" and try to force it on them with my proof that bread is bad etc, aren't i doing the very thing to them that i don't want them to do to me?

yes. yes i am.

just some thoughts...

[EmJo]

One other thing is they are Christians and abide by the Bible very strictly and somewhere in the Bible it says that it's good to eat bread.


A close friend of mine said the same thing years ago, that somewhere it says "bread is the staff of life," but since then I've read the entire Bible through 6 times and NEVER found that quote.

Also I've heard that back in those times bread was made from sprouted grains, not flour...

[Cinnamon]

Simple answer: Flour mixed with water makes glue.

I love how you put this... I am going to remember and use it the next time someone gives me grief about not eating gluten products!! Thank you!

[rawfoodmommy#1]

Even if you do manage to “convince” your parents that bread is not good for your son, what will be next? Seriously, you know it won’t stop there. Sounds like some major boundary issues to me. You are a married adult woman, no longer a child. What are you afraid will happen if you put your foot down?

There are a lot of resources out there to develop healthy “Boundaries”. (I know from personal experience with my in laws, 12 yrs of trying to negotiate issues that were really no ones business but my husbands and mine) You can love your parents and be a good daughter without feeling, and being treated like you are still ten. I am sure they love you, just as you love them. At what age do you get respected as a woman, wife, and mother, 20, 26, 37, 43, 58??? Maybe at the age you are when you (and your husband) set your boundaries with others.

Sorry if I crossed any lines here, my heart goes out to you!

No, you did not cross any lines and you are right about respect issue. I told my husband that i hate the fact that my parents do not respect my decisions and still try to control my life. I think my problem is that I am too soft with them and they know it. And negotiating with my parents doesn't work at all and never will because my mom likes to get things her way and no other way.

[rawfoodmommy#1]

It doesn't stick to your stomach lining. The stomach acid cuts it rather quickly. That's a myth. Don't fight ignorance with theatrics. It can come back to bite you with very little research efforts on their part. If you want to win on bread=bad with people who don't believe what you do, you have to do it on their playing field so to speak. Maybe some of these will help

http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20040803/too-much-white-bread-giving-you-big-belly
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_209.html
WHY WHITE BREAD IS BAD FOR YOU (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/328704/why_is_white_bread_so_bad_for_you.html)

Pay attention to the Vegetarians and minerals section (http://www.vitamin-update.com/optimum-health-detail.cfm/id/5.html)
check out the part about grain fibers and other materials blocking zinc absorption in children (http://www.active.com/story.cfm?CHECKSSO=0&STORY_ID=5578)

There are several search options you can use on google. Just get creative. The gist is that white bread is very bad for you as it's bleached, thus extra chemicals, refined, extra fat absorption, and nutritionally deficient through oxidation. many "whole grain" breads block the absorption of zinc, this can be devastating in children.

I'm trying to find the reference but there's also an article out there that discusses the research on refined sugars and refined flours and compares the body's reaction to them as similar to the reaction a drug addicts body develops to cocaine (though obviously not in as intense a fashion but over the long run . . . )

Don't go at it from a difference in dietary standards of yours versus theirs. Hit them with info in such a way that they can't argue intelligently, with the experts they normally agree with.

I Hope this helps.

Thank yo for the sites but they eat whole grain bread and actually are proud of them selfs that they eat healthy bread so I need to find some research on whole grain bread that is not very good for us, humans.

[rawfoodmommy#1]

Huge thank you to all of you on this awesome forum for responding to my cry for help. You have been such an encouragement to me. I and my husband talked with my parents about this issue and I am praying that it will be resolved in no time and that they will finally see that we are good parents for our son and they need to respect every decision that we make. I know it will take some stepping on feet from my side but i am determined not to let them control my life like they are used to doing.

[Dimond]

I love how you put this... I am going to remember and use it the next time someone gives me grief about not eating gluten products!! Thank you!

Your welcome! :) Wasn't sure if anyone got it. I usually follow-up by saying, then imagine how that glue is in your stomach trying to digest.

[coco]

Your welcome! :) Wasn't sure if anyone got it. I usually follow-up by saying, then imagine how that glue is in your stomach trying to digest.


as posted above :

"It doesn't stick to your stomach lining. The stomach acid cuts it rather quickly. That's a myth. Don't fight ignorance with theatrics. It can come back to bite you with very little research efforts on their part. If you want to win on bread=bad with people who don't believe what you do, you have to do it on their playing field so to speak."

[kristi7mark]

Maybe I will try this in front of them and see what they think.
One other thing is they are Christians and abide by the Bible very strictly and somewhere in the Bible it says that it's good to eat bread so they always tell me that i should read my Bible more and abide by it and not listen to what other people say. so it is hard to challenge them because they think the Bible is the only truth.
I am a Christian too but I believe God gave us a choice to eat vegetables and fruits and other foods. We can make our own choices.

Bearing this in mind, possibly sharing with your parents that when God created Adam and Eve and they lived a perfect life in the Garden of Eden they did not eat bread or meat, they lived on the fruit and the seed of the trees, they ate only vegatation. It wasn't until after the fall and the flood, that people began to eat bread or meat in the Bible. Also, as mentioned previously by another post, the bread that was eaten in Bible times is not even closely remsembled by the processed, nutrient-empty breads that people eat today. I am a Christian also, do not neglect the power of prayer in this situation. Lift your relationship with your parents up to God and ask for his help and direction, He will give it!!

[Dimond]

as posted above :

"It doesn't stick to your stomach lining. The stomach acid cuts it rather quickly. That's a myth. Don't fight ignorance with theatrics. It can come back to bite you with very little research efforts on their part. If you want to win on bread=bad with people who don't believe what you do, you have to do it on their playing field so to speak."

Yet people believe what I have to say all the time. :p So I'm really not worried. Also, I never said it sticks to anything in your stomach. I don't believe in going against what I believe & do in order to get people to understand. All they have to do is see how I live by example. Now whether they change themselves is another story. People have to want this for themselves. I find the bread & dairy issue is usually fairly easy to get people to understand. It's other things like meat that's harder.

[rawfoodmommy#1]

Bearing this in mind, possibly sharing with your parents that when God created Adam and Eve and they lived a perfect life in the Garden of Eden they did not eat bread or meat, they lived on the fruit and the seed of the trees, they ate only vegetation. It wasn't until after the fall and the flood, that people began to eat bread or meat in the Bible. Also, as mentioned previously by another post, the bread that was eaten in Bible times is not even closely resembled by the processed, nutrient-empty breads that people eat today. I am a Christian also, do not neglect the power of prayer in this situation. Lift your relationship with your parents up to God and ask for his help and direction, He will give it!!

you are right, about Adam and Eve and my parents know it too but they chose to ignore it or just forgot about it. I will pray harder for my parents and our relationship.
Thank you for such inspiring message

[Raspberry4]

Maybe I will try this in front of them and see what they think.
One other thing is they are Christians and abide by the Bible very strictly and somewhere in the Bible it says that it's good to eat bread so they always tell me that i should read my Bible more and abide by it and not listen to what other people say. so it is hard to challenge them because they think the Bible is the only truth.
I am a Christian too but I believe God gave us a choice to eat vegetables and fruits and other foods. We can make our own choices.

Point out to them that in Genesis God said to eat from the FRUIT of every tree and that would be their meat. It is in God's word to eat fruit and veges. He never mentioned animals or bread.

You have a tough situation since you are dependent on them for a place to live. I had to fight my MIL for YEARS on this very same issue (food intolerances) to no avail. I feel for you. Good luck!

[Betsy]

I had a similar problem. DH and I decided not to visit " Gammy 'n Gandad" until they apologized and conformed to the raw lifestyle for our children. Fortunately, eventually, they acquiesced. Since I work part time, they need to watch the children, so this worked out fine.

[jacsam]

Maybe give them a book of Alissa's and her DVD and let them know that they will better understand you by reading and viewing these things. Who knows, maybe they'll even know how to entice you and your little one with a raw food dessert next time.