Question

[rawxstasy]

I'm not even sure how to explain this.

I usually try to 'distract' myself with music, playing around on the internet, or thinking about this guy that I really like (see my obsession thread) The past two days I have not been doing any of this. I have been in this really quiet almost continual meditative state without trying to be. It's almost scary, because it's so different from what I usually do. I just feel really 'at peace' for the first time in my life. I"m just sitting around, no music, doing nothing, just feeling calm. I've been keeping up with raw (about 70%) most of the time, doing meditation, but not everyday.

I guess I want to know is how to make the best use of this state that I"m in, cause I don't know how long it's going to last. And can anyone explain why this might be happening? Am I going through some kind of spiritual growth?

[maui_butterfly]

notice without judgement how the mind seeks to distract itself. that's true knowledge of self, or i should say knowledge of the egoic self/the mind. you are not your mind, you are the watcher of your mind. the watcher is the one who says "i notice that i distract myself with all this other stuff"...

what you are experiencing is called being present. you're not thinking about the storied past or the imagined future, just being. so cool! but then the mind wants to come in and say "don't just be, DO SOMETHING!" and then it can busy itself thinking of things to do. or it can come up with the anxious thought "this is pleasurable, but i'm afraid it won't last, how can i make this last longer?" now you're thnking about the future again, and a bit of stress has entered the picture.

just notice how the mind tries to knock you out of heaven! that's what it does, there is no stopping it, we can only become less identified with the mind, and more identified with the watcher of the mind. the more practice you have noticing how your mind operates (again, not reacting, no judgement), the more you will experience the bliss of being present with yourself as the transcendent limitless infinite being that is your deepest self.

go you!

i hope that makes sense!

[rawxstasy]

Thank you!

This just blows my mind! I understand what you are talking about, I've read the Power of Now. This is the first time I've been able to be present and I don't really feel like I have to try that hard. I just feel so loved at every moment. It is a wonderful feeling.

BTW: I did your meditation to release a person and though I still did think about that guy but it was alot better and I was just thinking about him - not missing him or feeling bad about it like I was before. Recently he's been coming to the deli where I work at! We haven't spoke to each other yet ( no opportunity), but I"m sure we will soon. I am just amazed at how the universe works!

[maui_butterfly]

I am just amazed at how the universe works!

me too! :)