Judgment?

[Firicia]

Hello everyone I have a quick question, well sorta quick.

I am fighting with my male freind rigth now and need to know if I am the one being stupid.

Alright so yesterday I made the decision to quit a job I had just started. I also decided to keep the real reason to myself because I knew it was important to me and I didn't want other peoples judgments all over it. So instead when my friend asked I just told him it wasn't for me, and left it there, except he didn't. He was really rude to me, and told me that was a poor excuse, that I need to stop being lazy, not everyone is as lucky as me, and that I need to pay my dues (and some other mean stuff).

I was just a little suprised that someone had so much judgement and anger towards the way I live my life which has nothing to do with them. I couldn't help but wonder how someone could think it's acceptable to put someone to down and judge them when it's none of your business, ya know?

So today I am still not talking to him and he wrote me a message saying he's sorry that I am upset btu that he's right and won't tell me he's sorry because he doesn't want to valiadte what I did (quitting my job). I am super upset about this.

I don't know if telling him the actual reason why I left if it would even matter, because I think to him everything I do is just wrong. I just can't believe that I've invited someone to talk to me like this and I would like to turn this around so that he knows where the boundaries are so our friendship can become better not worse.

Anyways in case anyone is wondering I left my job it's because I felt like it would be comprimising my morals. I would be selling something that not only made me VERY sick after I ate it, but I am sure if people ate it consistantly that it could comprimise thier health in the long run. So I made the tough decision that I come first. I didn't tell me friend because he is a guy, I would more assume that he would just have told me "everyone hates thier job" and thats not what I wanted to hear. I just couldn't be a part of something that could hurt people. Besides it's just one job, there are lots of them, so why is he hating on me about this one?:confused:

[RawHeaven]

Always follow your own inner voice. Which I believe you did and I see nothing wrong in your quitting your place of employment if it's what YOU want to do. It doesn't really matter what others think of you. I've quit jobs myself where I wasn't flourishing and took my chances...I always landed on my feet in much better situations. If someone where to observe me from afar they would say I was running away from something, but actually I was growing. And you know what? I'm the only one who got this because ultimately it was me who was in the midst of my life and my life experience. To thy own self be true!

The only question I have which is really not a question, but more of a statement is this guy doesn't sound like a nurturing friend to me. He's projecting how he views living his life onto you perhaps, but nonetheless you need support now, not judgement. Never let anyone invalidate you. I would kick him to the curb or at least create some boundaries with my friendship if I were you. This really doesn't have much to do with your quitting your job, but moreso has everything to do with being influenced by someone who is not getting you and perhaps doesn't even respect you or is otherwise intimidated by your strength.

You are worthy of the highest good...always keep this in mind. You're not responsible for anyone else and you don't have to heal other people's s***. We are all responsible for healing ourselves and quite capable of doing so.

Best wishes with whatever you decide to do next and congratulations on taking your steps to move on in your life.

Love,
Crystal

[Apasaraw]

I have walked away from "good jobs" in a moment of clarity 3 times and am all the better for it. If it wasn't for you that's for you to decide...and you did. Who cares what judgy pants thinks? If he is a good friend, you will make up when time passes. Good friends always do. If you are good with your decision...that's a that matters.

As Joe Campbell once said, and I'm paraphrasing here...Don't work and work to climb a ladder only to find it's up side of the the wrong building.;)

[beppa66]

Not everyone hates their jobs. He is giving you bad advice. If you feel that strongly it would have been wrong (& unhealthy) for you to stay.

[rawbutterfly]

I completely understand. My husband turned down an awesome paying job because it went against everything we believe about health and wellness. A lot of people thought we were crazy, but we would have been miserable making money off of others who are sick and dying by consuming the products he would help make. Stick to what you believe in!

[Firicia]

Thanks everyone:)

Him and I have been dancing around our troubles with believing different things for years now, and in a month or so we both are moving away to different cities, so maybe this was meant to come out so we'd learn our lesson we were supposed to learned together and we'll know if we can continue being friends or not.

[maui_butterfly]

Thanks everyone:)

Him and I have been dancing around our troubles with believing different things for years now, and in a month or so we both are moving away to different cities, so maybe this was meant to come out so we'd learn our lesson we were supposed to learned together and we'll know if we can continue being friends or not.

That sounds really clear! :)

You don't have to justify your actions to anyone, particularly on something that doesn't even concern them! "it wasn't for me" is plenty explanation, and even THAT'S not necessary... obviously you wouldn't have quit otherwise! your actions speak for themselves. "Hmmm, Firicia quit her job, must have not been the right job for her!" That is a logical certainty.

What is also a certainty is that people judge other people. We tell a story about the other persons behavior and what it means, and we get angry about that -- but its just a reflection of ourselves, and has nothing to do with the other person. Its quite obvious that his anger and judgement have absolutely nothing to do with YOU and your job (and likely everything to do with HIM and HIS job). Once you understand that, you won't be mad at him -- but don't take shit either. :)

You might say "I think its interesting that you're so upset over something that is so none of your business. It's not open for discussion. I'm me, you're you, we do different things."