I obvioulsy need more PERSONAL GROWTH but first a vent/rant..

[Conscious Midwife]

TOP 10 THINGS A BRIDE SHOULDN'T EXPECT OF HER BRIDESMAID...

10) Don't expect your brother sister to be your bridesmaid when the two of you are only casual friends

9) Don't expect the sister who agrees anyway to stop her whole life just because you two want to pln a wedding in 12 weeks so hopefully your white wedding dress will still fit your 5.5month pregnant behind when you waddle down the Chapel isle

8) Don't expect me to be more excited than my brother who has bowed out of the planning or than the pre marital counselor who stood you two up on counseling session #2... knowing that all session were required to get married in your church

7) Don't expect me to know what heavy hord'vrs (sp?) or entree you want at your wedding when you think $1850 is too much for a caterer to charge you for labor and food for a 75 person affair

6) KIWI AND FUSCHIA look gross, and since the dress is going to cost me $150 plus alterations it looks even grosser

5) The high heel clear hooker shoes you want us to wear are so so inappropriate for an afternoon in March

4) THIS IS THE WAY MY HAIR GROWS, AND HOW IT'S GONNA BE ON YOUR BIG DAY:p

3) sISTER INLAWS 2 BE ARE'nt bridesmaid material they are sister in laws

2) If you name my niece Isabella I'm gonna kick your post partum butt all the way back to Mississippi

1) YEah I'm being immature 'cause I think weddings are overated, marriages are what counts and truth be told you haven't a clue and I'm more pissed at myself for agreeing to go against my core and participate in a highly consumer driven ritualistc materialistc nonsense sort of practice!!!:mad:

Ummm I feel better now
carry on........

[lafsalot]

That's why I eloped. :D ~ Cathy

[Revvell]

Got married in Denmark. His mother, his brother, two friends. That's it! No one even knew we were doing the deed until the night before.

That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it...

[Conscious Midwife]

Eloping is cool.:rolleyes:

That's what me and my Prince of Egypt did to.

One bouquette, a good dinner and lots of smoochies.
Yeah we invested outr energy in lifetime " MARRIAGE", not the one day wedding!

[maui_butterfly]

oh my god, that made me laugh so hard. kiwi, fuscia and clear plastic hooker shoes. that sounds so attractive. please tell me there is a big bow involved.

girl, you better post a picture. poor little isabella...

btw you OBVIOUSLY need more personal growth. :)

[maui_butterfly]

7) Don't expect me to know what heavy hord'vrs (sp?) or entree you want at your wedding when you think $1850 is too much for a caterer to charge you for labor and food for a 75 person affair


you should tell her that Subway does these really big party subs...

(that's what i tell all my wedding clients who are giving me grief on catering prices...) :)

[Conscious Midwife]

you should tell her that Subway does these really big party subs...

(that's what i tell all my wedding clients who are giving me grief on catering prices...) :)


She was also shocked that this price didn't include table linens and place settings for 75.... duhhhhhh

[lavendarJ]

I guess that's why my cuz and her hubby nixed the wedding and went to Jamaica and had a nice reception with video of their wedding...

[Raw Jewelrylady]

Too funny. What is it with these brides!

We did Vegas & told No one !!! It was great~dorky plastic benches in the chapel & all. I have to admit I giggled through the entire ceremony.

When we watched the videotape of our ceremony it ends with ours & then goes on to film the back of some old ladies' dress & then an episode of *Unsolved Mysteries.* Seems they copied over a used tape. It's a complete hoot & all our friends & family are jeolous as we have the funniest wedding video ever.

We had our wedding dinner at *That's a Lot of Pasta* as the 5 star restaurant was closed that night. It was great.

BTW ~I won at the slots & bought tons of stuff to bring home. Been married 16 years.:D Still in love.:)

I agree, it's the marriage that counts. Have fun in the shoes...:)

Lana

[Conscious Midwife]

Thanks ll for letting me get that out.

I've processed my "real issue" a bit more and have gotten over the ugly rainbow bright dress w/ hooker shoes. Actually the whole bridal party bit seems a bit misogynist . Like a harem of poorly dressed women parading down the aisle with the sacrifial virgin (not) to follow.

The bottem line is I went against my CORE by agreeing to participate. I'm such a nonconformist by nature and now I'm getting hives just even thinking about walking around dressed like someone else making a public spectacle of myself in this sort of display. Oh and the money. I so never ever by myself any single item of clothes that cost as much as this one dress. And to think I am only going to wear it once. GROSS CONSUMERISM:eek: . Gotta come up with a plan for this dress just to keep from feeling so wasteful.

[lavendarJ]

Thanks ll for letting me get that out.

I've processed my "real issue" a bit more and have gotten over the ugly rainbow bright dress w/ hooker shoes. Actually the whole bridal party bit seems a bit misogynist . Like a harem of poorly dressed women parading down the aisle with the sacrifial virgin (not) to follow.

The bottem line is I went against my CORE by agreeing to participate. I'm such a nonconformist by nature and now I'm getting hives just even thinking about walking around dressed like someone else making a public spectacle of myself in this sort of display. Oh and the money. I so never ever by myself any single item of clothes that cost as much as this one dress. And to think I am only going to wear it once. GROSS CONSUMERISM:eek: . Gotta come up with a plan for this dress just to keep from feeling so wasteful.

That's the worse thing, when something goes again your core..people don't quite get it typically and think that you are just being difficult. It feels like you are betraying yourself...I don't know what to tell you to do with that dress

[Revvell]

That's the worse thing, when something goes again your core..people don't quite get it typically and think that you are just being difficult. It feels like you are betraying yourself...I don't know what to tell you to do with that dress

Just think of clothing as a "costume". We're always dressing up (or down) in some way. This is just a costume for the day and you're just participating in a play. It's all a game. Play it and celebrate whatsoever.

Revvell

[Zaphirah]

After the wedding, shorten the dress, the sell it and the hooker shoes on ebay. I'm sure there's some sicko out there who wants his wife to dress up as "Rainblow Bight"....:p

[MZ B]

You are hilarious. All I can say is wow and that you are better than me. Enjoy the circus..:eek:

[shine72]

I don't even know where to begin. First of all, laughing my butt off (if only that were true) and Zaph's Rainbow Brite comment.

Next, Revvell hit it on the head.

Third, in some ways, I agree with Revvell, and in other's I'm not. "To thine own self be true" is a GREAT motto, and one that took me until a year ago to learn to integrate into my life. And since then, the future's so bright, I gotta wear shades. So, if you're going to be miserable at this wedding, don't do it. That's my two cents for what they're worth. However, if you can get past it, then I would do as Revvell said.

We got married in Korea. Hospital chapel was the only one available for the day we wanted. Couldn't find a white dress I liked on our limited budget, so I got a pink one from the PX (post exchange). Had the reception in the room at the ACS building (Army Community Services), and my office provided the "finger food" and sheet cake. No family there. Just our coworkers. It was the best day ever! And we were happy and grateful. Some people never are, no matter what. Just remember, that's THEIR problem, NOT yours, K?! :D

And yes, pics are a MUST!;)

[Conscious Midwife]

Just think of clothing as a "costume". We're always dressing up (or down) in some way. This is just a costume for the day and you're just participating in a play. It's all a game. Play it and celebrate whatsoever.

Revvell

Ummm yeah I hear you Revvell and I know it wouldn't matter if I didn't hear ya cause 99% of the time you are right. But this frickin custome has already cost $145 before alterations, hooker heels mani/pedi and hair do. Plus I'd already set my quarterly budget for JAn-MAr 2008. Put my big request into the Universe and this one wasn't it!!!

Not worried about the money actually showing up. ME's got faith;) ! It's the principle!!! Itmy COooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee eee:eek:

[rawkchicster]

ROFL.

Yeah, i gotta go get fitted for a bridesmaid dress for my brothers fiance' this weekend.. ugh... SO FEW PEOPLE LOOK GOOD IN A TUBETOP!!!!!!

[Conscious Midwife]

Yeah I'll get over it

and No I want be negative or miserable

maybe it's the primaries that's got many panties all in a bunch up my booty

you know i can't control it so i want to rant about the stuff I should've been in control about 3 weeks ago!!!

It just seems that if someone ask you to do them a huge favor that it should cost you so much enrgy, time and money.

But I'm journal this crap, reevaluate my CORE and come up with a clear and succinct way to reply to request that go against my grain an stick to it!!!

I also know there is a lesson to be learned with sacrifice so i'm taking notes;)

[Revvell]

I also know there is a lesson to be learned with sacrifice so i'm taking notes;)

See for me? I don't sacrifice... yet IF I were going to do it.. I'd celebrate it. Just pretty sure I wouldn't do it. LMAO!!! :p

Three things I don't do ~ Funerals, weddings and showers (baby, wedding or any other). I've done two funerals ~ my father's and my mother's. That's it! I've done a few weddings as a kid (heck, all the food you could eat and run around with cousins screaming like banshees!) and two as an adult (my own and one of my student's). Showers? I think I did one ~ maybe. That was more than enough.

Makes no sense that you're invited to do something then have to pay for it yourself... Ah well! Pics are a MUST now that we've got the word here. :D

[Apasaraw]

As someone who was in 6 weddings in 1 year, your vent list cracked me UP! It is so funny how people want their weddings to be PERFECT when it all becomes a blur anyway and in an effort to make each one original...they're very much alike...and your bridesmaids end up hating you. ;) I agree that if you want someone to be in your wedding you shouldn't make them frazzled and unhappy and drained. The best bride I had is the one who bought us all our dresses and let us all vote too.

Seriously Lifeagift....Good luck with it all! Gobble the green smoothies!

We had a spur of the moment wedding at the beach in front of hubby's grandparents house...and gathered everyone (20 people) with phone calls. To this day people thank me for that and it's been 14 years. A call, a wedding, some quiche, toss some flowers, eat some cake, bye bye!

SO let's manifest some serious peace for Lifeagift. Om......

[justinesmith]

Please, I am begging you for pictures. Just know that after it is all said and done, it's going to make an awesome story.... it already has. We're nothing without out our awesome stories.... :D

[Conscious Midwife]

HAVEN"T HEARD FROM THE BRIDE TO BE IN 4 DAYS....:eek:

OH JOY OH BLISS:D :p

I will definately be sure to post pics:eek:

[leela13]

I know the feeling...I am may not be getting married but, have a brother who is. Truly remember the day is yours....Do what you and yours will enjoy. that is all that matters.

[Conscious Midwife]

I know the feeling...I am may not be getting married but, have a brother who is. Truly remember the day is yours....Do what you and yours will enjoy. that is all that matters.


Oh I'm not getting married. I'm a reluctant bridesmaid and sister to the groom;)

[StarFire]

LIFEAGIFT....http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/laugh.gif .... OMG!!! that should be published in BRIDE's magazine! ahahahahhaaaa!!!

yep - that's why dh and I eloped too!! His family started getting all pushy and bossy and demanding (and mind you they weren't putting in one dime :eek: !) So I very quietly said to dh.... 'SCREW THIS --- Let's spend the money on ourselves and just elope and go to Hawaii for 3 weeks!!" ahahahha.... we loooved it! So we got up - left his mothers house - went home, packed and off we went! BEST WEDDING DAY EVER!!!! http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/smiley_danceegyptian.gif

[Anastazia]

Wow, what a funny thread!

K, I have a suggestion for what you can do with the dress...

...get it to someone who sews/quilts, (maybe they'll barter, so this doesn't have to cost you even MORE!) & have it made into a quilt/wall hanging/set of pillows/photo album cover, whatever, & have them throw in wedding-type of lace, silk, whatever else represented her wedding choices/colors, & maybe something that represents her & her hubby, & then give it to her as a gift...maybe one gift a year on each of their anniversaries for however long the fabric holds out?
I think it would be a touching way to show that, even though you didn't want to KEEP the dress, you love her, & respect the fact that it's her wedding, & her choice how to have it, & that you want to support her in her life choices (even when you don't agree with them...or like wearing them!)

I agree that folks nowadays spend far too much time, money & attention on the details of one day, rather than truly preparing for sharing the rest of their lives together~

~My daughter wants a simple, outdoors, little house on the prairie type of wedding...& I get to quilt her a dress! (Yup, not just sew, but QUILT! Can't wait!)

~Anastazia~

[kaybee]

hahahahaha thats a GREAT idea to make stuff out of the dress. that way you 1. dont have to spend [too much more] more on wedding presents, youre sort of using what youve already had to buy for the wedding
2 you dont have the dress and hooker heels hanging around forever
but be careful, because i think that the way anastazia suggested doing it was pretty innocent and ill-will free.... imo, if it was me, (due to my forever-struggle with passive aggressiveness,) id take a bit of glee and satisfaction that they woudl have to treasure all that stuff made out of that ugly dress and heels forever... and i guess thats not the point. so i guess do it only if you can do it with a pure heart.... :)

[Conscious Midwife]

Thanks for the good idea!

I won't be making gifts for the couple to be out of the dress but I do think I can make some awesome bedroom accesories for my 5 year old daughter.

The idea of kiwi and fuschia seems so romper room like that I think my little one will love it. Hmmm could probably get a valence, shams and a few throw pillows out of the dress and maybe even a baby doll dress.

Thanks again!

Guess the LAW OF ATTRACTION is working. Haven't thought much about the wedding lately and the bride hasn't asked me to do anything else. YIPEE!

My son is a usher in the wedding and his tux and shoe rental just added another $144 to my tab.

Me thinks I'll be writing this couple a nice free poem ( framing it of course) for their wedding gift, and dare them not to hang it up in their home;)

Also plan to cancel my hair appointment. Didn't get my hair professionally done for my wedding so don't think I will for this one.

So my tab is already up to $300, not including the last alteration or hooker heels. Plus I just received a pink and green bridal shower invite. She's registered at 3 stores...what could a 34 year woman who owns he own home possible need?!?!!?

This is so overboard.:p

[Dancer]

Ah, thank you Lifeagift for this morning's smile. I love your list!

That is exactly why Rob and I eloped this past November. We're from Maine and we found a spiritual JP in Marin county California to marry us in a gazebo on the shores of the bay in Tiburon. Just me, my dear husband, the JP and the one witness she brought. It was exactly the opposite of everything you're going through now. My family didn't understand why we didn't want "pomp and circumstance".

I treasure my wedding day. :)

[Conscious Midwife]

Doing LAmaze breathing now...

This too shall pass;)

[Conscious Midwife]

Told the bride I couldn't find any hooker heels, I mean shoes in my size and the style she was requesting and here a pic she emailed me of what she had in mind

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31PD2o9ev9L._SS500_.jpg

Hmmmmm what do you all think?!?!?

By the way I'm 6'1.25" and the dress is green with fuschia buttons A line, grazing my ankle not touching the floor like it should. This shoe is 3inches.

Well it's not in my size anyway:D

Oh she also told me that her hairstylist, could do our makeup at the wedding for an additional charge and that i could set my appointment up with him.


SO AGAIN I WANT TO KNOW WHO CAME UP WITH THIS WHOLE WEDDING CONCEPT. THE S&M shoes, overly consumeristic extravaance and the burden on the bridal party?!?!?!

[maui_butterfly]

those shoes are DOPE. you really don't like them?

:D

[Conscious Midwife]

Seems like there should be a Gold Fish floating around in the heel or something.

Maybe as a pretty consistent recycler I'm just opposed to wearing plastic.
Oh, the other suggestion was for me to go look for a pair of shoes down on the strip in the asian hair shop.

FRUGAL I am but I do not buy my shoes from the same place that sells fake hair.

OMG

LOL

I know I know I'm so totally overacting over this whole thing.

Obviously still dealing with my issues. Really don't know what my prob is. Guess it's easier to pick on the shoes and dress than it is to process my $h!t.

PEACE

[kaybee]

go barefoot :) and/or tell her you got an injury and dr. says u cant wear high heals because it will stretch the tendons on the front of your leg and further the injury. or pretend to sprain your ankle a couple days before the wedding, then you will HAVE to go barefoot... too bad the dress isnt longer or it would just hide your feet.

[Conscious Midwife]

bumped cause I need the chuckle.

By the way I didn't post pics becasue they've been sitting on 800 proofs and haven't finished their order which was to incluided discs for the weddign party. $1200 worth of unordered pics.

Funny thing is I got a call back in March from dear SIL asking me to babysit for the weekend so they could celebrate their 1st anniversay..

guess what???
I politely told her it was my birthday and that it will always be my birthday on her anniversary... she had forgotten!:D:D:D

I love my nephew but I really had plans.