compulsive eating...ed's

[stacyface]

hey everyone. i have never posted and went to register the other day to find that i had registered 2 years ago! so, i have tried raw a few times, but this time around i'm really ready. it's been since the fall that i began. i've also quit smoking and drinking. i have been vegan for about 4 1/2 years. anyway, i love being raw, but i still can't control my compulsive eating. i've battled bulimia for many years, and even on raw, it comes up. whether i eat too much gourmet raw foods or dates or fats....or sometimes i plan a huge vegan restaurant gorge fest and get all the cooked OUT OF ME. it's awful. it's like a monster takes over. anyway, i've read threads in the past about poeple w/ eating disorders, and i know they're prevalent in society. i believe food addiction has a lot to do with it...as well as deeply rooted emotional issues. i use it as a distraction...and without cigarettes or booze, it's the destructive one i have left. UHG! anyway, i find myself thinking about HOW to eat...like, what kind of schedule i could set for myself. just eating when hungry doesn't work for long. i over indulge. i don't know....can anyone relate, or does anyone have advice? this isn't in place of therapy or anything, just looking for support. thanks...

[Dr. White]

I totally relate. I can tell you that scheduling your meals is not going to help. You are just shifting the control to another area. What I have found that works for me is to make a concious decision to disobey the voice of the eating disorder. I'm out of the closet to my close friends and I allow them to hold me accountable. Right now, it means that I talk to one of them on my cell phone all the way home from work since that is the time I will stop and buy binge foods. This is working for me right now. I also don't let myself get over hungry. I keep healthy items available and ready to eat. This way, I don't have the urge to get something quick and easy that I will overindulge on and then purge.

[c'estlaviebelle]

I have battled (or did battle) bulimia for about 5 years. I used to work in the entertainment industry (I was a fashion model), and the only way I could keep my weight down was purging... When I left the industry, I kind of rebelled against myself, and started eating whatever I wanted. I gained about 20 lbs in a few months- which is where my weight is now (actually, I've lost about 7 lbs since going raw a few weeks ago).

I've always struggled with keeping my weight down because I always viewed food as the enemy. Going raw is helping me with this, but I have days where I feel the *guilt* for eating raw desserts, nuts, etc. I'm still struggling with this. I even posted about this a few days ago. (The post is entitled "Raw junk food?")

I understand your struggle and I feel you on this. For awhile, the way I got around my ed was drinking and smoking too. Luckily I gave up smoking years ago (I've dabbled since but each time have gotten sick from it), and I only drink occasionally these days.

What keeps me going is thinking about how my body functions, how my stomach and intestines work, and being grateful that I am as healthy as I am after the years of abuse I put my body through. Thinking about that in detail keeps me from having the urge to binge and purge like I used to. Think about the acid that is produced in your stomach and think about how unhappy your body is when you abuse it that way. Your body *wants* to help you be healthy and happy, but you need to love it to make that happen.

I support you all the way and I know you have the strength to overcome this. It is a struggle for me to this day as well, but raw is a great way to work on our relationship with food and make it a positive one.

[stacyface]

thank you both! i am also getting into the entertainment industry (great time to move down here--writers strike!) i also want to lose 10 lbs, and nothing's happened so far with being raw. but i've been working out, so i think i've gained muscle. but, thanks for the responses. i mean, i feel so awful after it happens. and i had a therapist tell me that journaling my food wasn't a good idea. i suppose it is just to be controlling. i'm always all or nothing! a perfectionist, which goeshand in hand with the ed. but though i've been vegan for a long time, it was for ethical reasons, not for my health. (i was a huge drinker/smoker in college.) now i want to be raw for health...for myself. ok, thanks again.

[Blazin'Jane]

I have had soem food issues as well. When I went RAW a year ago, it was a new thing to be gientle with myself rather than condemning or critical, to remind myself that I am putting healthy lifegiving foods into myself. It was a different mind set that has helped to heal my compulsiveness, at least somewhat. Also, since I tend to go overboard on some foods--usually sweet, and dates are my issue right now-- it helps to just give them up for a week or so, get things back in balance, and then reintroduce them. 'Same thing with nuts or almond butter occasionally. If you are eating RAW, you are, in fact, healing. The really good nutrients you're putting in your body are going to help you in the long run, so be good to yourself, and gentle!! ;)

[kaleidoscopeeyes]

I can relate, I have COE disorder, and I need to lose about 35 lbs...raw isn't helping in this area. I'm still eating 3000 - 6000 calories a day. It's awful, just hang in there. Things will improve, they have to.

[VeggieMel]

I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I do binge and overeat. Raw helps me get that under control; however, sometimes I start to overeat raw treats or I start eating too much cooked food. What helps me regain control is fasting. It helps me get centered again and takes me away from that addictive feeling toward food. I don't want to give advice here because I know very little about ed's, but from my own personal experience with eating issues, fasting helps. I've been doing the Master Cleanse. It isn't as uncomfortable as juice or water fasting.

[eachpeachpearplum]

I just wanted to say welcome. . . .WELCOME!:p

[trinity082482]

I used to be a compulsive eater. I found being raw really helped me. It took about 1 year to see some change in my eating habits.

[MarciRoundtheWorld]

I have watched my husband battle compulsive eating for many years now. I am so sorry you have to deal with it.

Have you sought counseling? There is also a book I would love to recommend to you but for the life of me I can't remember either the title or the author. The author has recovered from compulsive eating. Sorry! Maybe someone else out there knows what I am talking about.

[agumble]

I've never been diagnosed with an ED either, but I definitely do binge and overeat......I hate that feeling of not having control over what I'm doing. I'm hoping that being raw will eventually help me deal with that. As for now, even though I'm far from happy that I binge, I am grateful that everything I am binging on is at least good for me. I have to say though, it is nice to see that I'm not alone in this. Sometimes I feel absolutely crazy when I'm in my kitchen shoveling in food and trying to figure out why I just can't walk away from it.....

[iluvcacao]

I struggled with binging and purging for over 9 years. It was a process and a combo of things that helped me to a healthier place. I learned to turn to something else instead of food (for me it was prayer), I also learned to hear my body again. I would eat without any distractions so I can could learn what it felt like to be full and to stop then. The flip side was that I kind of made a deal with myself, as long as I stopped the second I felt full, I would NEVER deny myself food when I was hungry. Eventually my body lead me to eating 6 small meals a day. I also did not limit what I could eat (as long as I ate when hungry and stopped when full), but then I didn't even know about raw back then, so I'm not sure how that would work all together. Maybe the deal could be you could have whatever raw treat you want, you just have to move away from the denying your body food as punishment.
Do not let yesterdays mistakes affect today, treat each day as a fresh start. That was a big factor for me in binging, "I've already failed, might as well, eat the whole fridge!" Focus on taking care of yourself, you can do it!

[MarciRoundtheWorld]

I just found that book I referred to. It is called "Why Weight? - A guide to ending compulsive eating" by Geneen Roth

[stacyface]

thanks everyone!