How to find a place of my own!

[Cinammon]

Hi

I posted earlier about having some problems with a flatmate's friend?

I was just wondering if anyone out there has any ideas on how to find the perfect home for oneself? I've been in flatshares/other people's houses all my life, and would really like to find either the perfect little home for me, or the perfect flatshare, with someone who'll turn into a really good friend.

Anyone had any experience with this?

Love

Cinammon x

[Revvell]

Doing it now.

Write down what you love about the place you're living in now; write down what you would change/add.

Be specific!

Where do you want to live? what do you want around you?

What's the most you can pay?

We've been looking for a couple of weeks now. Yesterday we found a lovely place. Everything about it works for us except, for me, it's about 10 miles further out than I prefer.

Today, we looked at 4 more places. The final one REALLY works for us. It's across the street from the park I train at every Monday evening; it's quiet; has an extra room for holding classes; large enough bedrooms for an office, a master and my healing room; formal dining; quite a large kitchen which will fit all my appliances; LOTS of light in the kitchen. Nice front yard; deck in the back yard; lemon, grapefruit and orange trees... AND the park across the street to play at!!! OH! Washer and dryer are included PLUS a fridge so we can keep our fridge in the garage. There's a room off the garage where Bo can use for recording. That's a bit smaller than he'd like but for 1-2 people, it'll work fine.

Just don't give in for less than you want. What you want and need is out there at the price you're willing to pay (or less). The thing that almost happened with us is, we didn't really want to take the time to look and were almost willing to settle for what we didn't want. We'd have been kicking ourselves.

Revvell

[Cinammon]

Thanks, Revvell, I'll try that. I've heard about the writing lists before, but it never worked for me! Don't think I was so specific! Good to hear it affirmed. Your place sounds lovely - so glad you found something so great!!

Good tip about not settling!!

May I ask you one more question? Do you think there's a right time to do things, and we shouldn't go against it? or do you think we make our own time? I really wish to move out of the place I'm in, but a little feeling keeps telling me I should just put up with it. But I'm really not happy here - it's just somewhere to put in the days!! Should I stick it out, d'you think, and hope to learn whatever lessons are here? or should I accept that I have the right to move, and I'm just being lazy?

Sorry to bombard you with more questions, and thanks again. God bless you both in your new home (and may the moving itself be sweet!)

Love

Cinammon x

[Revvell]

What's been really weird for me is, when I've felt it was time to move on and put it off, the universe assisted. That was mostly in work I was doing for others.

In relationships, things usually just dissolved naturally.

In places, pretty much the same thing. My sense is, you've got some "work" to do where you are. I was just reading your other thread and it seems you're getting it. There's always a right time for things, just be conscious not to "push the river".

I don't say "put up with it" yet, I would suggest writing on it. Ask yourself a few questions... or, do some sentence stems such as: "If I stay...." and, "One reason I want to go is..." or, "One thing I can do to change this is...."...How about "One reason I don't want to go is...."... Start the sentence, finish it with 6-10 endings. Don't think about it, don't censor what comes up, just write it down and see what is revealed.

Thing is, you CAN get a place of your own, yet, will you learn what you need to or is this your chance? (Only you can answer this). See, for me, and this is what I've done ... moved out, got a place of my own... lived alone for YEARS!! Got jobs where I didn't have to be in a place where I had to deal with bosses for 8 hours... then created my own biz and became the boss. Then Bo shows up. :eek: All of a sudden I've got a live-in spouse, 24/7/365... time to learn how to deal... although, I've had many opportunities listening to and learning from clients, so, not as though I was a hermit that whole time. :)

Having said all that, you DO have the right to move, anywhere, anytime. My suggestion: do what makes your heart sing.

Thank you for the blessings and back at you in your decisions.

Revvell



Thanks, Revvell, I'll try that. I've heard about the writing lists before, but it never worked for me! Don't think I was so specific! Good to hear it affirmed. Your place sounds lovely - so glad you found something so great!!

Good tip about not settling!!

May I ask you one more question? Do you think there's a right time to do things, and we shouldn't go against it? or do you think we make our own time? I really wish to move out of the place I'm in, but a little feeling keeps telling me I should just put up with it. But I'm really not happy here - it's just somewhere to put in the days!! Should I stick it out, d'you think, and hope to learn whatever lessons are here? or should I accept that I have the right to move, and I'm just being lazy?

Sorry to bombard you with more questions, and thanks again. God bless you both in your new home (and may the moving itself be sweet!)

Love

Cinammon x

[EZ rider]

When I'm making a decision I like to fold a piece of paper in half the long way and then on the top write yes on one side and no on the other. Then as I think of something I write it in the appropriate column. After that I like to "sleep on it".

[Cinammon]

Thanks, Revell and EZ rider. (Esp thanks Revell for such a thoughtful response.)

Feeling I'm getting right now about flat is: do nothing, say nothing - which isn't easy!! but it's a pretty strong feeling, backed up by the Universe(!) Goodness knows where this is going - prob. straight to the lunatic asylum, but, y'know ... I'll try and give it a few more days ...

Love

Cinammon x

[Revvell]

You're welcome.

A few questions which might assist:

Do you feel you need to "walk on eggshells"?
Do you get to enjoy your home? Your sanctuary ... by keeping quiet?
Do you feel the need to "stay out of their way" or in your room?
If so, is any or all of that o.k. with you ~ for now?



Thanks, Revell and EZ rider. (Esp thanks Revell for such a thoughtful response.)

Feeling I'm getting right now about flat is: do nothing, say nothing - which isn't easy!! but it's a pretty strong feeling, backed up by the Universe(!) Goodness knows where this is going - prob. straight to the lunatic asylum, but, y'know ... I'll try and give it a few more days ...

Love

Cinammon x

[shakti17]

hi! hi revvell!
cinammon,
i ll share a cool miracle from a few wks ago...

ve always had a housng angel, i just seem to find good places to live effortlessly (probably bc that s my belief!)

anyway, i ve just been fed up with the city, small apt, etc, so i did "The Secret" exercise - very spontaneously - i wrote down "I am so happy and grateful now that....."
then you fill in your living situation exactly as you wish it! and you feel it as if it's already there.

i did it - i wrote i m so happy and grateful now that theo and i have a little house w a yard and our own rooms and a fireplace.....etc

found it the next day!!! it came into my path, i barely looked. and the same price i pay for a studio here

now i may not take it bc of other factors that have come up making this not an ideal time to move, but i m still so grateful to the universe for responding so quickly to my desire.

u can do that too!

congrats on your new place revvell, i may be in cali soon! i ll c u there!

shakti:)

[Cinammon]

Hey

Revvell - how's your move going? Hope all's well.

No, I don't really feel I'm walking eggshells - I know what that feels like, and it's not really the case here (so far.) But yes, I do feel the need to stay out of their way - more because I'm worried about my own reactions than theirs. (And it's just easier to stay away from people you don't want to be around)

Don't want to lose my temper and say horrible things - funny how you never realise (or I never do - am trying to work on it) just how nasty the things you say are - you always feel you're justified (or I do.) In the Conversations With God books, 'God' says that, 'All attack is seen as a form of defence.' - and I guess that's true.

Hmm - get to enjoy home by keeping quiet - I'm not really enjoying it at all right now!!! I want it every which way - the company of GOOD flatmates without any of the hassles!!! Am scared of moving into place of my own, and being too lonely - had that once, and it nearly killed me!!!

Soooo wish for place with partner - it's not that I get jealous when I see other people who have that, it's more I feel, 'Why them and not me, when I've wanted it for so long?'

Either that or a flat with real friends - not this. I can see it may be for a reason, that I may have to stick it out -but I'm getting really tired, losing enthusiasm for things, thinking, 'What's the point?' My coursework isn't getting done, I'm ill a lot of the time - actually, y'know body illnesses can be related to emotional issues? Woke up today with sore throat - not saying what I want to!!

Ahhh, I just want the Universe to love me enough to give me what I want as a nice little pressie, without me begging. Am getting too tired, really, to keep this up - too miserable!!

Latest twist is - flatmate may be moving out, but it'll probably take a few more weeks. Then she'll go, having taken what she wants, and I'll never hear from her again. I HAVE to break this pattern - but how???

Sorry for the extended whinge - hope reading it hasn't drained your energy!!!

Thanks v much for caring enough to read this!

Shakti - many thanks - I've read a bit of 'The Secret' - it never seems to work for me - maybe because I don't believe it enough. Maybe I should try for a moving/house angel.

Glad you found your wished-for place - hope all's going well with you in the city, and you do find your ideal place again, when you're ready to move!

Lots love

Cinammon xx

PS: Just realised - maybe reason Universe isn't valuing me 'enough' is because I don't value myself??? Know that sounds reeeaaallllly nauseating - but may explain why I think second rate accommodation is OK?? and I 'shouldn't' expect better???