no angst, no creativity?

[Zaphirah]

I've been trying to think of a way to words this, so bear with me. :o

You see, I have always been a very creative person. I *used* be to be very creative in my parenting, teaching (homeschooling), knitting, food prep, use of our finances, etc. I really enjoyed it!

Then, about 4 months ago we moved and my life loss 90% of my stress. No I got nuthin'. NO creative ideas, no desire to create. nothin'.

So...I think my creativity stemmed from a deep internal place that I would resort to for comfort in times of stress. Now that I don't have that need to go internal, I can't tap into my creativity...

Does that make any sense? It's really bothersome. My creativity is, well was a HUGE part of me. I miss it and I can't find it.

Has anyone else lost their artistic self? Did you ever get it back? :confused:

[slickerk]

Everyone tells me it is depression and it is linked to my thyroid still being off. While I do not feel depressed, I often lose interest in anything worthwhile to me, and it will drag on for many months. I am hoping that switching to raw (I am still working on that), will make something click and bring back the old me.
You are definently no alone.

[Zaphirah]

Yes, I hope it works for you! But for me it has been the OPPOSITE. I went raw just after we moved here. I have heard that going raw brings out all kinds of creativity and intelligence, level-headedness, etc. but in me it seems to be the opposite. I am much happier and MUCH less depressed, but I traded it for my artistic self? I want to be happy AND creative, ya know?

[Eva]

Man... I've been feeling extra creative. I do feel a spark when I run or work out more... I don't know if that would help or harm YOU in your quest for creativity, though!

[Revvell]

I've been there, done that. Use to write poetry only when I was miserable. Wondered what happened to that when I chose to be happy.

Like Eva, getting out and moving makes a difference for me. If I don't move, I don't create. Don't know if you're moving or not. If not, get out and git! If you check the "Abundance" thread, you'll find some potentially inspiring ways to move ~ different than normal. Maybe knowing/using Indian clubs, hula hoops, kettlebells, etc., will get your creative juices flowing again.

Revvell

[maui_butterfly]

our lives are full of cycles, and a four month (or six month, or a year, or five years) sabattical from creative expression shouldn't necessarily be interpreted as a "loss" or something that will always be with you. artists frequently go through phases of intense creativity, followed by (sometimes long) fallow periods.

you're feeling satisfied, happy, you just moved, you're pursuing other interests right now. don't believe the thought "i'm not creative anymore" or "i can't be creative unless i'm stressed".

maybe set an intention and some affirmations around it:

* i intend to be creative. * my days are filled with opportunities to express myself. * my life is a canvas on which i create, and creativity flows through me easily and effortlessly. * I now have easy access to all subconscious information. * I love to play with creative ideas.* I am a creativity genius. * I am an open channel to creative inspirational ideas. * I am filled with creative ideas and the ability to manifest them. * I have many creative ideas every single daily. * I now unleash an avalanche of creative ideas and insights.

but the key i think is to relax and be calm and accepting of where you are at right now. this could very well be "the calm before the storm" of creative expression! and nothing kills creativity like the worrysome idea that you've somehow "lost" your creativity, and "trying" to get it back....

[ElephanTigeR]

our lives are full of cycles, and a four month (or six month, or a year, or five years) sabattical from creative expression shouldn't necessarily be interpreted as a "loss" or something that will always be with you. artists frequently go through phases of intense creativity, followed by (sometimes long) fallow periods.

you're feeling satisfied, happy, you just moved, you're pursuing other interests right now. don't believe the thought "i'm not creative anymore" or "i can't be creative unless i'm stressed".

maybe set an intention and some affirmations around it:

* i intend to be creative. * my days are filled with opportunities to express myself. * my life is a canvas on which i create, and creativity flows through me easily and effortlessly. * I now have easy access to all subconscious information. * I love to play with creative ideas.* I am a creativity genius. * I am an open channel to creative inspirational ideas. * I am filled with creative ideas and the ability to manifest them. * I have many creative ideas every single daily. * I now unleash an avalanche of creative ideas and insights.

but the key i think is to relax and be calm and accepting of where you are at right now. this could very well be "the calm before the storm" of creative expression! and nothing kills creativity like the worrysome idea that you've somehow "lost" your creativity, and "trying" to get it back....


Love that advice, I could use that myself right now. :D

[Vivafree2]

Yes. For many artists creativity was associated only with their lowest moods, stressful situations. The best pieces of art were created under those circumstances (Hemingway, Van Gogh) but.... there is the other approach.
I am an artist and my creativity comes and goes and i am not sure what triggers the best in me. I know it changes. So far you created in the "bad" time - creativity was your escape perhaps, your balancing force. You have skills and desire to create ( otherwise you wouldn't write about it). I think you and i too, we need take creativity to the different level. I want to reconnect with a desire to paint and rewire, relearn to find a spark and make creativity still spontaneous, but deliberately choosing place and time. I know - if there is no idea, no burning desire things just do not flow. RELEARN to overcome the block - polarize. I was heavy duty abstract expressionist, celebrating Art Brute - i might end up painting victorian flowers as a result but i want to try. Don't get discouraged either. Hugs:)

[rawmonkey]

It seems ironic, but I have experienced the same thing in my life. When there is a deadline and the adrenaline gets going, the creativity sparks and you go along for the ride. When you have all the time in the world...nothing seems to "pop". I live there. I can not explain it either, but I want to let you know that it is not healthy to live on adrenaline 24 hours a day. It might feel great at the time, but you are taking years off of your life. I have found that when I am not met with an outside "motivating factor," I struggle to get dishes done and laundry washed let alone be creative in planning lessons for my children's schooling, even when I am eating 100% living foods.

I have narrowed the cause down to my perfectionism. Deep down I know that I will never get it perfect so I don't start anything until the very last minute (at which time...whatever I come up with is good enough :( and is usually very creative and fits perfectly, everyone loves it and I've succeeded :D ). The only problem is that I don't address my deep issues of NEEDING everything to be perfect and the cycle starts all over again. "They" say that those who procrastinate have issues with perfection. I am a recovering perfectionist, and at times I LONG for the creative RUSH, but I have learned to redeem my time and (even when I dread lesson planing with creativity BEFORE we actually start the lesson ;) ), I know I am overcoming my ridiculous desire for everything I do to be perfect. I understand, and I wish it could be an easier fix :rolleyes:

Hope this helps,

Christina

[Anastazia]

This is a very interesting post!

I've been struggling with this a bit myself, but more from a lack of much energy to do ANYTHING place, until returning to raw...

.never knew that about procrastinators being perfectionists....I'm a MAJOR procrastinator, but see little signs of perfectionism in me...

...more of a, "Well, i'll just do my best & that'll have to be good enough" lacsadaisical (sp?!?!?)attude...especially with things like meal prep, homeschooling, housework!

But even with my quilting (& art quilting) unless the inspiration is there, it's really hard to get things done!

Will being raw change that, too?!?
here's hopin'!!!
~Anastazia~

[Zaphirah]

It seems ironic, but I have experienced the same thing in my life. When there is a deadline and the adrenaline gets going, the creativity sparks and you go along for the ride. When you have all the time in the world...nothing seems to "pop". I live there. I can not explain it either, but I want to let you know that it is not healthy to live on adrenaline 24 hours a day. It might feel great at the time, but you are taking years off of your life. I have found that when I am not met with an outside "motivating factor," I struggle to get dishes done and laundry washed let alone be creative in planning lessons for my children's schooling, even when I am eating 100% living foods.

I have narrowed the cause down to my perfectionism. Deep down I know that I will never get it perfect so I don't start anything until the very last minute (at which time...whatever I come up with is good enough :( and is usually very creative and fits perfectly, everyone loves it and I've succeeded :D ). The only problem is that I don't address my deep issues of NEEDING everything to be perfect and the cycle starts all over again. "They" say that those who procrastinate have issues with perfection. I am a recovering perfectionist, and at times I LONG for the creative RUSH, but I have learned to redeem my time and (even when I dread lesson planing with creativity BEFORE we actually start the lesson ;) ), I know I am overcoming my ridiculous desire for everything I do to be perfect. I understand, and I wish it could be an easier fix :rolleyes:

Hope this helps,

Christina

This is incredibly eye-opening. I have pretty much stopped cleaning the house because I figure "Why bother? Someone is just gonna mess it up!" or "Even if I work 8 hours a day it still won't be DONE." I have been a bit of a perfectionist in my life. I do know that. I feel somewhat defeated quite often.

I did hear that some procastinators have ADD and that their procrastination until an impending deadline is a coping skill to keep them on track. I don't think that's my case, but just wanted to throw it out there.

[greenday]

This is a great thread! I can relate to much of it. I certainly experience that phenomenon of when I have lot of time to do nuttin'.....I will waste even more time doing nuttin' and thinkin' nuttin'. Just basically wasting precious t-i-m-e that could be used for many other things creative, productive, or otherwise. It's something I, too, seek to overcome with positive solutions!!! Good advice here so far, thanks.

[rawmonkey]

Zaphirah you wrote:


This is incredibly eye-opening. I have pretty much stopped cleaning the house because I figure "Why bother? Someone is just gonna mess it up!" or "Even if I work 8 hours a day it still won't be DONE." I have been a bit of a perfectionist in my life. I do know that. I feel somewhat defeated quite often.


Just one more thought... I too feel defeated often. I think it is a matter of the expectations we put on ourselves. I personally had parents that expected my 100% all the time. If it wasn't head and shoulders above the rest, don't even bother. I have learned to place my IDEALS way off to the side and focus on what will benefit my family; dinner for example...I have these grand thoughts of gourmet raw meal complete with wonderful tastes and textures that will win the hearts of my family. THEN I think about the energy that I must expend to get that result, and I give up before I even start...defeated! I really need to take the time to look at what my family wants...they want a happy, relaxed mommy and wife that loves life and enjoys each moment even if that means we eat left over hummus with veggies and flax crackers for dinner :D . They will forget the grand meals and dusted house, but they will remember me...stressed out & defeated or fun loving & seizing the moment WITH them.

After reading your blog, I can only grieve with you over the reactions of your mom. Remember, you are your own person. Just because your mom has her issues does not mean you have to own them. She is sad and lonely and she wants to your join in her misery. Love her where she is, but don't own her issues. You will NEVER meet her expectations because they shift like the wind. Rather, focus on your husband and children and ground your expectations and goals on making long lasting happy memories that will be talked about for decades (not grand ones mind you...just simple fun ones :D ). Think of the legacy you will be leaving your children. Have compassion on your mom, but move forward and maybe she will follow.

In time, your creativity will return in a different capacity as you explore, invent, discover and simply be with your husband and dear children. Welcome the change and embrace the joy that comes with letting go ;) .

Christina

[Draginvry]

Not to be cliche, but...

Once we thought we were depressed,
Haggard, beaten, and quite stressed.
Sapped of life and all creation;
Ideas and dreams into cremation.

And then one day along the road,
Across our foot jumped spotted toad.
What a pitiful creature, thought we,
Without a spark of creativity.

Yet in its ignorance lies its bliss:
No judgments or failures in distress.
Just happily jumping and hopping about,
With every reason to sing and shout.

No reason or will for worry has he
No trace nor streak of negativity.

So if poor toad is so carefree
Then why aren't we?


----------------------------------------------------

You know how I was able to write this silly poem so quickly and so easily? It's because I didn't care about the results. I didn't criticise it, I didn't judge it. Hell, I barely even proofread it.

The reason you don't feel creative is because you are afraid that your creations won't be good enough. You know that you will judge them. However, in the pit of depression, you are too busy feeling sorry for yourself to be a perfectionist. This is why you had no trouble being creative in the past, but you do now. It's because when you were upset, YOU DIDN'T CARE WHAT YOU CREATED!

The key to understanding art and creativity is that there are no standards, no judgments to go by. That's why it's creative. It's new. You have to learn to stop judging yourself by other people's standards, and instead create whatever you want to create in the moment. It may be a silly poem, or a totemic masterpiece, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you created it. And it's a creation because you did something new and interesting.

Throw the expected results out the window, because the very idea of a plan or result is counterproductive to the creative process. Be spontaneous. Be like the little toad. He doesn't know what the hell is about to happen when he crosses the road. And neither should you. Figuratively speaking, of course.

[kyrie]

Hi,

I'm doing singing classes, plus writing a novel.

I have different sources of angst.

Some like a history of violence and being a victim are no longer part of my life.

But when I sing about that story, I can access how I used to feel, and the
song is true for me, but I no longer live in that headspace.

I think try different modes of expression, to find your authentic "voice"

Even if it doesn't feel right, keep trying, eventually you'll find something.

Plus happiness is the most creative state of all.

Try reading "The Secret", it does have some profound truths in there.

Carla.

[blix]

I loved painting pictures and gardening, especially landscape gardening. I loved growing everything. Even saving acorns and growing them on till they were large enough to give away for people to plant.

[SparklePlenty]

I"ve been there too. Years ago, going thru difficult times I wrote poetry, drew,sang, danced, too photographs. Then I got happy and things dried up. lol for a while.

Now though, I have broadened my definition of creativity and lightened up. A fabulous bike ride is creative. Walking the dog and making a gratitude list while doing it is creative. Making up a new raw dish is creative. putting on make up is creative.

And my writing began to flow and flow and flow beautifully. The floodgates opened and I wrote in a way that I knew was me being a conduit for higher energies. One book after another, one article after another, one course after another came flying through. And I started up with photography again. And painting and singing and dancing are calling to me.

The main thing is that when the flow stops, I honor that, knowing that it will flow again. I trust the process. I relax and I trust me. And I do my best to embrace and love it all! I don't strong-arm myself, or feed the fear that I won't find my creative energies again. I wait and in the meantime I find my joy.

More and more I know that my LIFE is a work of art. So is yours.

xxxooo