Greetings from London

[healinglisa]

Greetings everyone,
My name is Lisa. I am 24 and from London, UK. I am among many people who live with deep seated feelings of inner void-ness and emotional pain which manifests itself in my life in the form of an eating disorder which has now lasted 10 years. I have experienced the full range of eating-related distresses from a bout of anorexia-to laxative abuse-to compulsive binge eating at present. Much of the 10 year period has been 'simply' restricting what i eat. Me coming to this site and deciding to post has been a bit of a battle because i struggle with thoughts that "oh here i go again, another way for me to focus on food, albeit raw and life-giving...blah" I say that because i truly believe that the root of all substance addiction is spiritual, which then progressively impacts upon our emotional and physical bodies. Blimey. I'm just scared that adopting a raw way of living will feed the already underlying super-concentration i have on food and eating (a distraction to escape whats REALLY going on inside me) because such a way of life is totally against the grain and requires a certain amount of 'nit-picking' especially in social environments. I remember a few months ago when i chose to eat raw for a couple of weeks- the wonderful sense of detachment i felt from any sense of turning to food to numb my feelings. I remember the excitment i felt in preparing all these different culinary works of art for myself and others. I remember feeling at peace with food. I didn't continue with it because i wasn't in such a supportive environment and also i had, and still do, a huge sabotage impulse within that normally seeks to crash me down when things are going somewhat well in my life, when i feel i am truly healing. I just wish to be free. I believe that commiting to this could really help me. I have several books and am currently reading Victoria Boutenko's '12 steps to ending your dependency on cooked foods.' I have just ordered a food processor, so i hope to get going this week!
Thanks for reading this, and your words of encouragement and support would be greatly appreciated!

Best wishes to everyone

Lisa

[apower2me408]

This could have been me that you are describing. I too have battled the eating disorder chain from one end to the other ending with compulsive overeating. I know exactly what you mean about having to still focus on food with this raw diet and not actually getting to the underlying issues. I am just hoping with each "diet" I have done, I have learned more about myself and how to deal with those issues. I am afraid of being raw for my entire life, as it is very difficult when you dont have others around you doing the same thing or who dont understand. And now that I've been raw for just 3 weeks, I am actually afraid that if I eat a cooked/junk food meal, I will lose my raw spirit completely. All I can do is take it one day at a time, and remember to check in to this website to keep my spirit going!

Good luck on your journey!

[shashibala]

Dear Lisa, I understand many of your feelings. I am much older, but I have gone through similar struggles with food. I have been eating only raw foods for just 2 weeks and transitioning for about a month before that, so I am no expert yet!!! So far, the thing that keeps me going with this type of eating is that I feel better, and most of all, eating raw foods seems to satisfy my body in a way that even healthy vegan cooked food could not. I don't crave more than I need and I don't feel the urge to binge on carbohydrates like I did before. Don't hesitate to seek help for emotional and spiritual issues while you feed your body healthy, nourishing foods. It's all about learning how to care for and nurture ouselves. Best wishes to you on your journey!

[oceanee]

Hi Lisa,
Welcome to a wonderful site so necessary for support on so many levels. I, too am new to raw and like yourself and so many immediately notice the positive effects physically and mentally. I am really hoping that if I take this one monthly challenge at a time I will beat my food obsession.
I ,also want to be free and loose the daily food thoughts and, I like you have in the past sabotaged myself with all sorts of excuses.That has always left me feeling bad, depressed and upset with myself.
I look at raw as feeding my body what it needs which is aiding already on the cravings. I deal with the other issues as they come along and remind myself that this is as close to a miracle as I can get to end my obsession and be free.
It is crucial for me to
1.) Write down every day what I eat, how I feel, etc.
2.) Exercise ( I am not yet doing every day but getting there)
3.) I have also a section in my journal of reasons to succeed raw, tips, mental notes in case I need a few quick tips.
4.) GREEN SMOOTHIES - I swear I notice when I skip a day or do not drink at least 1 quart ( I am striving for 2 quarts).
You can do it with all of us ! Best of luck,so many people have been supported here for me that I hope this site also helps you.
Oceanee

[healinglisa]

Thank you oceanee, shashibala and apower2me408 for your words. It really does make a difference to hear other peoples reasons for adopting this whole way of life, especially if some of the issues are similar to mine. It seems that with every day that i choose to enter into the whole spiral of bingeing and thus the whole after-effect package of feeling really low on all levels, the stronger my passion to jump into raw living and never look back. It sounds so simple, but i know that it will be a big challenge for me, one that needs my total commitment- commitment to healing and leading an inspired life! I can honestly say that i wish for this to be a lifelong decision, but i also want to take your advice and take it ONE STEP at a time.

Hoping you all have a good day!

Lisa

[StarFire]

Aloha and Welcome to RFT healinglisa! Blessings on your journey girl! You have written a beautiful and heartfelt post that soooo many of us here at RFT can relate to.

Picture an onion - as you heal your body - layers are peeled away --
when you reach the next level another round of detox begins and you heal another layer... this keeps going on and on... until it begins to reach very deep within us... and remarkably and perhaps miraculously --- we begin to heal our inner child too...

We find ourselves dealing with our over eating issues, bingeing, anorexia, self destruct triggers... and we find ourselves building self esteem, self love, genuine - self respect...

but know this healinglisa - it doesn't happen overnight -- it is a process... there will be days when you are up and flying high and feel like there is nothing you cannot accomplish...

there will be days when you feel like - 'whats the point?' it's hopeless.... just keep on keepin on.... the benefits you experience will so bless you. but remember -- IT'S A JOURNEY - sometimes we fall - sometimes we skin our knees -- no big deal - just keep on going.... it took many years to get where you are right now...

Honor your self enough - to know that it will also take time to heal ~ allow yourself that time... don't be hard on yourself - because you WILL reach your goals -- just keep pushing forward!

blessings on your journey.... and .... enjoy the ride!

http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/welcome.gif

[spicyfull]

I wish you everything you need to Stay RAW.......Welcome to MY World.

[healinglisa]

Thank you StarFire and spicyfull for your encouragement. Its quite a relief to finally post and ASK for support, rather than just floating around these boards for months and reading what is happening in everyone else's life with regards to this whole adventure. Definately opening my life up to others is quite a lesson for me, and having positive responses like i have had so far from all you guys is quite special, really.

One step at a time.

Thanks again!

Lisa

[Radiantly Raw]

Hi Lisa, so glad to meet you! You've gotten some wonderful responses so far! I just wanted to say that this lifestyle has finally freed me from thinking about food all the time. I really feel the chains have been broken. It's a wonderful feeling. I hope you can feel that as well. I love what the others had to say above, great words of wisdom!!

[healinglisa]

This freedom is what i so desperately seek- its great to hear that you have experienced this in your life Radiantly Raw, and, yep i agree about these wonderful words of wisdom that i've received so far! Man, this is a supportive community, eh?!

Thanks!

Lisa