Ideas Please!!!!!!!!

[Time2bloom4me]

Hi Everybody. I have been working very hard over the last several months to become raw. Until the last month or so, I have been close to 100% raw.

As I make progress on improving my health and loosing weight, it appears as if my efforts are being increasingly challenged by by boyfriend. He knows that I feel much better eating raw food and my enegry increases along with my health.

Last night, he cooked a dinner for me without asking, knowing that I have been eating a raw diet. I felt obligated to eat it. It made me feel so sick. I was a vegan taco with stir-fried vegies. I appreciate his kindness in fixing the food, but it hurts my stomach so bad. Even today, I feel yuck. It usually takes me 2-3 days of suffering with indigestion to get over eating a cooked meal.

The reason I decided to go raw was my stomach was feeling bloated, food sat without digesting, water would even make it feel bloated. I had severe gas and under the ribcage pain. I was unable to pass the gas. Enzymes and probiotics were not working. I tried herbs without much help. I was in so much pain for several months with these symptoms. I tried colonics and numerous other therapies. There were numerous other health reasons I have been working on such as a vacine reaction.

When I purchase a book or video on raw he critizes me on the money spent, yet it is ok for him to purchase an I-Pod and hand-held playstation type games.

Do you have any sugestions? I feel as if I am to live a health life, that I really need to be raw. My instincts scream at me to be raw. It feels right. I can digest the food without any problems. It feels like my body is starting to heal. I have made excellent progress with weight loss on raw. I am unable to loose weight on cooked foods.

What do I do? It seems as if my diet is the source of our conflict. I don't nag him on the food he eats. He is a full-blown meat and potatoes, fast food eating, likes to eat out, diabetic, over-weight male. He prepares his own foods when he cooks and leaves the mess for me to clean up. Which I find offensive.

Any Ideas Please? I am so sorry this post is so long. I need your ideas and encouragement.

Thank you.:eek: :confused: :

[Zaphirah]

Okay. My dh constantly sabotaged my efforts and played the guilt card when I politely declined his foods. I have been losing weight for 4 years now and he has FINALLY come around. Never feel obligated to do something that makes you sick. If you had a peanut allergy would you eat peanuts? if you were diabetic would you eat a large slice of cake? No-you would put your health first-so just do it now. You don't need a dr's life threatening diagnosis to take care of yourself now.

oh and I don't know what ages you 2 are but DO NOT clean up after him. It only makes it IMPOSSIBLE when you have dc later on. Trust me. I know. LOL! Since he is using the POTS and PANS and you are not just leave 'em in the sink. If you need to cover 'em in water and change it 1-2x a day so it doesn't stink. Or if you need the sink you can get a large tub and put 'em on the floor.

In general it sounds like he has respect and possibly control issues. You might want to think about that.

Much love to you, sweetie.

[livin]

Time2bloom4me: Your name says a lot. It sounds like it is time for you to do /continue doing what is right for you and bloom into the person you want to be.

As one who has experienced the difference raw makes with digestion problems, I encourage you do what works for your health - there is nothing like feeling good after living with digestive issues such as bloat, gas, etc.

People who love and respect you should be able to support what is good for your health. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend serves you cooked food because he is concerned that raw is unhealthy for you. Perhaps you should sit and explain to him once more just what you said in your post, how eating raw has improved your health and makes you feel better and how eating cooked food makes you feel "so sick" and leave you with "so much pain".

It sounds like your boyfriend has some respect and insecurity issues. Is he insecure about what will happen with your relationship if you continue to loose weight and look and feel better? Perhaps he is concerned that you will be less dependent on him or will attract the attention of others.
Do you work or have your own allotment of money? Does your spending cause household budget problems? Otherwise, I wonder why he is so negative about you buying a book, video or raw food- especially when it sounds like he buys (and eats) what he wants.

A sincerely supportive friend, spouse, significant other would not want to continue to encourage you to do what makes you feel sick or feel anything less that good about yourself, unless it's because your choices pose a serious risk to your well-being - and that does not sound like the case here.

As for you having to clean up the mess he makes in the kitchen.... that's more than just offensive.
Please realize how valuable you are as an individual and that you have the right to handle your body in healthy ways that make you happy. Sounds like it's time to make some decisions aobut what you will do in order to take good advantage of your time to bloom and not allow others to stunt your growth.

Wishing you much success!

[rawzeit]

You have to ignore bad behavior and reward good behavior.

Read this (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?_r=1&ex=1153195200&en=4185c88e3e9baf8d&ei=5087%0A&oref=slogin) :)

[monkeyboy]

DUH,


Get your boy a 30 pack of Natural Lite and stick the remote in his hand.

I think NASCAR is still on.

Tell him you'll be back later after your date with Dr. Oz from the Oprah show.


Peace,

M.B.

[Lady Green Jeans]

timetobloom4me,

Maybe you're realizing it is time for you to bloom--just for yourself. Only you can make and stick by your raw or unraw food decisions. Sorry to hear you bf is not supportive of your efforts--I've surely been there and done that and will not need another lesson in that arena. Supporting your own efforts and moving forward is vital--if that is what you sincerely want. Only you can decide if he no longer fits into your life or lifestyle and is not a supportive partner that adds richness and suport to your life.

My unspoken motto to self--Be true to yourself and true to your dreams and live life real; live life raw.

Best of luck in your raw and personal journey.

[Time2bloom4me]

Thank you everyone for your support.

People who love and respect you should be able to support what is good for your health. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend serves you cooked food because he is concerned that raw is unhealthy for you. Perhaps you should sit and explain to him once more just what you said in your post, how eating raw has improved your health and makes you feel better and how eating cooked food makes you feel "so sick" and leave you with "so much pain".

I have explained to him many times about how cooked foods make me feel. He sees the pain that it puts me in.

It sounds like your boyfriend has some respect and insecurity issues.

He is definately insecure. He likes his women large. I have lost 13 pounds last time I checked at work. I started off around 207 or so. I still am very overweight. I need to purchase a scale and measuring tape. My stomach is shrinking, I am loosing edema, my face and hands are less puffy.

Is he insecure about what will happen with your relationship if you continue to loose weight and look and feel better? He is an ex foot ball player that is overweight. He says its all muscle. Yes it is very hard and he is very strong, but, it is well marbled. He is very much over weight.

Perhaps he is concerned that you will be less dependent on him or will attract the attention of others. He always asks who I work with and if I am attracted to any males. He is financially dependent on me. I pay all the bills and keep a roof over our heads, let him borrow a car to get to work. Without me, I don't know where he would be.


Do you work or have your own allotment of money? I have to hide any money I take out of the bank. He goes through my purse taking my money and spends it on feeding himself and soda. Or he will go out and purchase a gift or flowers for me with my own money. Makes me angry when it needs to go to bills and groceries.

Does your spending cause household budget problems? His spending has caused budget problems. He spends and spends. I have to put my foot down. He gets mad if I purchase anything for my daughter that she needs. Its like he feels like he deserves it all. He does not have common sense on spending, deciding needs from desires. . . It is like having a three year old that gets jellous that if you purchase shoes for their brother, they need two pairs for themself.

Otherwise, I wonder why he is so negative about you buying a book, video or raw food- especially when it sounds like he buys (and eats) what he wants. He only recently started working again after changing jobs.

[Time2bloom4me]

Maybe you're realizing it is time for you to bloom--just for yourself. Only you can make and stick by your raw or unraw food decisions. Sorry to hear you bf is not supportive of your efforts--I've surely been there and done that and will not need another lesson in that arena. Supporting your own efforts and moving forward is vital--if that is what you sincerely want.

Only you can decide if he no longer fits into your life or lifestyle and is not a supportive partner that adds richness and suport to your life. So true.

I realize that my personal growth is threatening to him. My desire for change and improvement in all areas of my life. Going raw is part of my growth that only leads to a better way of life.

What you are saying is true. I need someone who can be supportive of my dreams and wishes. I can only hope that he will see the light and change.

My unspoken motto to self--Be true to yourself and true to your dreams and live life real; live life raw.

Best of luck in your raw and personal journey.

Thank you for listening and pointing out what I know is true. As I have no body to talk to about these issues.

[walnutty]

TO: Time2bloom4me's bf

"May I show you the door?"

[livin]

I have explained to him many times about how cooked foods make me feel. He sees the pain that it puts me in. ...
He is definately insecure. He likes his women large. I have lost 13 pounds last time I checked at work. I started off around 207 or so.
...He is an ex foot ball player that is overweight. He says its all muscle. Yes it is very hard and he is very strong, but, it is well marbled. He is very much over weight.

... He always asks who I work with and if I am attracted to any males. He is financially dependent on me. I pay all the bills and keep a roof over our heads, let him borrow a car to get to work. Without me, I don't know where he would be.

... I have to hide any money I take out of the bank. He goes through my purse taking my money and spends it on feeding himself and soda. Or he will go out and purchase a gift or flowers for me with my own money. Makes me angry when it needs to go to bills and groceries.

...His spending has caused budget problems. He spends and spends. I have to put my foot down. He gets mad if I purchase anything for my daughter that she needs. Its like he feels like he deserves it all. He does not have common sense on spending, deciding needs from desires. . . It is like having a three year old that gets jellous that if you purchase shoes for their brother, they need two pairs for themself.

... He only recently started working again after changing jobs.




Time2bloom4Me: While all relationships have ups and downs, the points that you note concern me. I've heard "his story" several times before - and never good.

Listen to yourself. Let's see... he encourages you to eat things that he "sees the pain that it puts me in" and even prepares such food for you, probably knowing that you are going to feel guilty enough to eat it, despite having worked hard to get to 100% raw; he always asks you about who you work with and if you are attracted to any males; he is financially dependent on you, goes through your purse, takes money (without your permission) to spend on himself; uses your money to buy you gifts; his spending habits (with your money) interferes with the household bill budget; he gets mad when your purchase books and videos about raw and gets mad when you purchase necessities for your daughter! (What does this picture look like to you?)
Yet, he hasn't worked in how long? He depends on use of your car & your money, yet he doesn't help around the house? Humm.... You say "Its like he feels like he deserves it all." Yep, that's what is looks like.

However fact is YOU DESERVE IT ALL!!!!! You deserve to be treated well, you deserve to be happy, you (and daughter) deserve to raise your daughter in a healthy home environment where positive relationships are modeled for her. You deserve to make decisions about your health, body and money. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have it be All About You!

You don't say how long you and bf have been together or hold old daughter is. I am concerned about what your daughter is learning from this relationship that will affect her relationships in the future. You know, what she sees her mother deal with can have effects on her and her beliefs about what is acceptable in own life. You say he is like having a three year old that gets jealous... Some of his behaviors that you described sound like those of a child. While most men have some child-like ways, what you descibe sounds more like you supporting another child instead of a bf.

Time 2 bloom 4 me. How does bf fit into your plans for you to bloom at the current time and/or in the future?
What does he contribute the your physical, emotional or spiritual health and growth?
What influence does his behavior have on your daughter?


You say in another post that you don't have anyone to talk to about this. I am glad that you had to courage to "talk" here and I encourage you to seek support groups or therapeutic care for youself in your community.

You must take care of you! Place yourself and your child first. You have made a good start - your physical, emotional, spiritual health is vey important.

I do hope that you take this time be begin / continue the process of blooming into a strong, even more beautiful, self-confident, happy and healthy RAW flower! It really IS all about you!!!

[StarFire]

Do you have any sugestions?
I feel as if I am to live a health life, that I really need to be raw.
My instincts scream at me to be raw.
It feels right.
I can digest the food without any problems.
It feels like my body is starting to heal.
I have made excellent progress with weight loss on raw.
I am unable to loose weight on cooked foods.

What do I do?
Any Ideas Please?
:

Are you ready to 'OWN' your power?
The choice is in your hands alone and ...
Your name says it all....

http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/dar.gif