filling up on guilt

[Azura Skye]

Just thought I'd share something I've been pondering over these past few days.
When I eat a bowl of food - my stomach is satisfied.

But my mind rarely is.

So I eat more.

until I feel guilty that I've eaten too much,
then I stop eating.

So I thought to myself - I'm not using food as barometer of satiety. I'm using guilt!
Does anyone else feel like this? Like you can't stop eating until you feel guilty enought to stop?

I hate it! I wish I didn't feel like this.
I want to disassociate negative feelings away from the joyful experience of eating.

Grr!

[Riiiya]

somehow lately i've also been unsatiable :( and guilt is always there where i want to keep chewing and chewing...

well i've been having a lot of nuts these last 2 weeks (mostly unsoaked) and dried fruits. i got into making raw cakes and treats so much that i crave food all the time now!

I decided to eat more simply for now and see if i'll get to the no-guilt happy me again when it comes to eating :)

Anyway, my point- you're not alone! :D

[RawHeaven]

I don't know if this an answer or solution for you, but when I find myself getting into this pattern I just keep grabbing red apples, which I love, instead of my old habits of eating bags of packaged crunchy things for example. :rolleyes: I'm still working on emotional eating issues myself. I find that I want to eat when I'm bored or if the house is empty. As soon as I'm in the house alone, I want to eat! The same thing happens when I pop a DVD movie into the player, automatically associating the down time with eating. It's simply a matter of reprogramming yourself which takes time. Now that I'm aware of this, it's making a world of difference because I'm no longer doing it blindly. If I succumb, at least I know what's going on -- at least this is how I look at it.

What seems to help me the most is meditation and taking a deep breath & just putting the fork down and really giving myself time to see if I'm still actually hungry or simply feeding my emotions. Lately I find that I'm beginning to eat only when I'm hungry and I seem to have a better gauge of determining when my stomach has had enough food. It will probably take me some time to fully incorporate these wonderful changes into my life, but I'm not being too hard on myself. It's a process and it takes time to shift your paradigm.

I also believe you've got to walk through it to let go completely of self-defeating habits and patterns. Denial or resistance only perpetuates what you want to change. So it may actually be a good thing you're experiencing this...it means you're healing. :)

[dalimeindacoconut]

You will stop I promise. Just go through it until you stop. I did wake up the other day absolutely famished and ate, and ate, and ate like a little piggy all day. The guilt thing I gave up about 15 years ago. Growing up catholic just got very tired of well, specifically, my mother, using guilt trips on me and told her (oh this is an idea) you can tell yourself as I told her 'I am no longer going to accept your guilt trips. You are going to have to find some other way of communicating with me. I have had enough'. It worked for me fabulously and I hope that one little piece of this will work for you. I don't typically feel guilty anymore. Perhaps it is time to let go of the 'guilt'. It will stop. Just decide that you want it to stop and it will be over with.

[solongng00dnite]

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I know I am not hungry but I still continue to snack. I keep going back for that handful of nuts. I dont know if it is the same for you, but for me it is a matter of keeping myself busy doing things that require my hands. If I am at home and not doing anything then I immediately start grabbing for snacks and I will eat well past the point of satisfaction. During SAD, I used to do this to the point where I would eat until I was physically uncomfortable and had to just go to bed (of course this always happened at night:mad:)

Now when this happens I stop it before it gets to that point but I am never fully satisfied, I am always left craving more sweets. So now I am learning that I just have to keep busy. So that is my suggestion. And you dont necessarily have to ban yourself from the kitchen either. All day saturday I was preparing my raw meals for the week and hardly ate, I mean I'd grab the scraps from cutting things or whatnot but I was so occupied it didnt even cross my mind.

[Raspberry4]

Is this happening all the time or just every so often? The reason I ask is because sometimes we are still hungry because our metabolism is revving up and asking for more food.

When you eat slow down and make it last at least 20 minutes if you can. After that, if you are still hungry tell yourself to wait another 10 minutes - if you are still hungry, eat - but take 1/2 a bowl.

Are you drinking enough water in between meals? On the days I do not drink enough I find myself eating more to compensate. Sometimes I will drink a big glass of water and then wait 15 minutes - if I am still hungry then I will eat.

I sure hope some of these work for you. You are not alone!

[Lauriola]

I want to eat everything I can grab just before ovulating (2/3 days) and just before my period (2 days). It took me a while to realize that there was a very close connection in between negative feelings, thoughts, overeating and my hormonal cycle. I keep a record of my period, day by day, and I found out that the same feelings and thoughts where coming back the same days month after month. I was very dissapointed to see how vulnerable to hormones my thoughts (and life!) are/were.
I read what the other members posted and I apply many (if not all) of the tips, and they work pretty well with me, and I can say I don't feel much guilt now, because I now I have a problem and I prepare myself for those moments when it pops up.
Some days I just breath, others I keep my hands busy and my fridge away.

[SmilingRawDancer]

I feel the same way ESPECIALLY lately.
Here is my short story:

Started raw, felt satisfied, maintained my 105 lb. frame happily (I'm 5'1, and 105 pounds still looked healthy on me, no bones showing etc.)

2 months in....
ate alot more, found good recipes, weight gain began.

6 months in....
didn't like the extra 15 lbs, but liked knowing that I was eating healthfully, and knew that other alternatives were worse.

now...
-_-

Unhappy. I've gained 20+ lbs, and it was a pain to lose weight my first time around. I don't know what to do, but I feel like I need to eat ALL THE TIME, and I eat past physically full. It's a problem.

[Azura Skye]

thanks for the responses guys. Good to read what you all have to say.
Lauriola - I'm the same, I do eat like crazy a few days before my period too.
But I like what you say about sometimes breathing, and other times walking away. It's probably good for me to strike this balance.

SmilingRawDancer - same here. Lost weight, happy then gained = frustrated!
Yesterday after writing the thread, I had some strong emotions and I'm now seeing things a bit clearer. Instead of directing my anger/frustration/guilt at the places where they should be aimed at, I turn it inwards and I get burdened with these feelings. So I'm learning to let them go, out in the open!

Another thing I realised was that everytime my mother makes loads of cakes for the family and visitors (which is all the time) I eat loads of raw food to compensate for not eating the cakes. Yesterday I noticed that I was doing this, and I stopped eating! I'd never done that before. So quite proud of myself.

Raspberry4 - you are so right about chewing food! It's a wonderful thing - another thing I think we don't do when we feel guilt. We swallow the food really quickly so we don't have to (somehow) feel guilty about it!! Like we just want to get it over and done with.
I usually chew quite well, but that goes out the window when I'm eating compulsively.

dalimenidacoconut - I too was bought up Catholic. I think this has a lot to do with taking it upon myself to feel a lot of guilt. Just learning about this though helps in releasing this emotion.

thanks again, what great therapy it is to talk to y'all here.