I am back, and in need of a pep talk....

[4forme]

Or maybe a good swift kick!

So, it is seen time and time again. People see what raw can do, have a great couple of weeks, give in to temptation and find themselves crawling back to what they know works in the end. I so wish it didn't happen with me, but alas, it did.
Unfortunately it is not as easy or simple as the first time I embarked on the journey. Not sure why. When I make things for the rest of the family, I just can't stay away from it. I can talk myself out of it til I am blue in the face, but then it's like something else is in control of my hands and I just eat it mindlessly. :(

I have every intention of making the day 100% and then I do soemthing stupid like I did this morning.
Now I feel bloated, have a headache (more from lack of sleep than anything), and am discouraged I have ruined yet another day that could have been great!

I can't just get everything out of the house, my family isn't on the bandwagon with me. Although what I make is healthy, it's not raw.

Anyone relate? What did you do to kick start back into the routine?

[EZ rider]

Yeah, I can imagine how hard it must be to try and straddle the fence between raw and cooked with one foot in each camp.When I went all raw I had to remove all SAD food from my house and make sure that there are plenty of good raw choices available. All I can say is don't beat yourself up in a situation like that. Do your best and leave the rest.

[spicyfull]

Hang in There.............

[StarFire]

Aloha 4forme... I absolutely feel you... okay - let me tell you what works for me. Alissas book and DVD... please don't think I'm just trying to sell her book here - seriously I'm not. I'm honestly telling you what has worked for me - and I went raw april 2007. Sometimes during this journey - I have faced challenges - whether it was a social engagement that I had to be at -- or just simply wanting to eat something I used to loooove. When I have been faced with those moments - I watch Alissa's DVD. It inspires me - the b4 and after shots are AMAZING... and REAL.

also reading the testimonies in the Living on Live Foods book are also really inspiring... thought provoking -- and really make me stop and think about what I really want in life -- and where I am headed AND WHY.

also ... please remember - this is a journey... it takes time. Many raw gurus that we respect and love have been up and down... down and up... and they're still going strong.

stay on track -- even if you eat something cooked -- next time - make wise choices - raw choices... as best you can. You will find your balance... you will find your groove and own your power! Don't beat yourself up ... theres no need to do that -- just know that tomorrow - you start again!! HOW COOL IS THAT!!! ???
blessings on your journey --- no stress... just enjoy the ride!

RAWK ON!!

http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/naked.jpg

[nfracer]

For a minute while reading your post I thought it was MINE!!!! I am right there with ya! I am trying to crawl (claw) my way out of the hole and get my head in the game. I can't believe how easy it is to stray and fool yourself that SAD food is ok....I too have a (LARGE) family of cooked carnivores so temptation got the better of me....I was strictly 100% raw for 20 months!!!!! and since April,2007 have meandered on and off the raw trail shifting in and out of various "concoctions" of eating choices.....I have had my weeks of raw, cooked, gfcf, whatever, etc....and all it's gotten me is BLAH! On 9/22 I self-lectured myself to recommit to 100% raw and so far so good. I just want you to know you are not alone! I am here too and will go the journey with you! I am feeling better already albeit a bit discomforting to "detox" a bit (proof that the foods I was eating was not the greatest)....I have told my family I am recommitted to 100% raw and asked for their support. They are very accepting but do not JOIN me on my quest, which makes it hard at times....esp. with the holidays coming up.....extended family reactions are a bit less supportive, but we'll save that topic for another day! So 4forme, I raise my juice glass to you and say cheers! We can do this!!!! I find working out helps me stay focused to! Good luck today!;)

[Zaphirah]

I have to cook for my family (dh and 4 dc). I have learned to say "Not ONE bite." and keep going. Take one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. I, personally, am a food addict and I have to not break my "sobriety" by eating cooked food or a binge will quickly ensue. I don't ever want to go back to the deception of hiding wrappers etc and I WILL NEVER allow myself to gain back the 70 pounds I have lost. Just take baby steps my dear and one day you won't be toddling, but RUNNING with raw. :)

[4forme]

Thanks so much guys. It's comforting to know I am not the only one who falls into this pattern. Yes, it's a journey, and I have learned to not beat myself up, which I did regularly before. That in itself is freeing.

How do you cope and handle the fact that you are the only one in the family eating this way? My dh and 4 kiddos are tolerant, but that's about it. I have low self esteem to begin with, so knowing I am the odd one out doesn't help. Plus the temptation is constant! I guess I need to find conviction within and stick with it. When I wouldn't allow even one bite ( as Zaphirah said) I did great! But, when I started allowing just a taste here and there in the name of it "not controling my life", it actually had the opposite affect.
I am going forward from here. You guys are great!
BTW nfracer, where in upstate ny are you? I am from upstate as well.

[Dj 247]

Although what I make is healthy, it's not raw.
I copied this from your original post. Maybe you ate this food because deep down you believe that it is healthy food. I think I slip because I do not yet see some cooked foods as unhealthy. I mean would a person eat rat posion? I certianly would not. I don't eat ice cream nor do I don't eat meat because I do feel these are unhealthy foods. Will a cooked carrot kill you? Some would say yes in time a cooked carrot will kill you. These people probably do not eat cooked carrots. I find that with me it is a matter of belief. Just something to think about.

[4forme]

That absolutely plays a part in this I think, and hadn't thought about it before. I sit at the table eating my salad, happily, and sometimes I look at the steamed broccoli and the lemon wedge next to it. I think, why do I feel guilty about wanting a taste of that steamed broccoli?? It is not a bad food!
So, I think I need to come to terms with that. I still think there are some foods that actually benefit a little by light cooking (broccoli for instance, and even the tomato).
How do ya'll deal with that?

[slmcarte]

I'm no raw food angel, I'll tell you that. And I have a husband and 3 children to cook for...But one thing I've been trying to do that is helping is to not "seperate" my food from my family's food- what I mean, is that everything I make for myself is available for them at the table. My kids may have cereal, but they'll also have some green drink - If I make raw chilli, I'll pull out some carrot sticks and share with them for an afternoon snack (sure, sometimes they'll eat it with corn chips). They, of course, always have some salad on their plates, or a little serving of whatever I've made for myself for dinner.

A couple of days ago my husband even tried a bite of my raw pudding (usually he has some "clever" comment about what my raw-food concoctions look like). But he tried it, and said "interesting".

I guess, I just can't do this diet as a "seperate" diet from my family- I just can't work that out mentally. Meal time with my family is important, and I don't want to feel divided. I want to eat WITH them, so now, I make dinner for us (with raw and cooked)- and then we choose what we want to eat out of the spread. And then I feel like I'm choosing what I want (raw) and still sharing a meal with my family, instead of eating "my own" food. Does that even make sense? This is kind of a new thing for me, and like I said before, I cave all the time- but I'm hoping this will help me to stick to it more often (and help my family enjoy more fresh food).

Anyway, good luck to you, and I love hearing what works for people!

[justinesmith]

I have every intention of making the day 100% and then I do soemthing stupid like I did this morning.
Now I feel bloated, have a headache (more from lack of sleep than anything), and am discouraged I have ruined yet another day that could have been great!

If you can stop beating yourself up, you will succeed. No day is "ruined" by what you eat. There are always opportunities do to more things, say kind words and eat healthy raw food. The mind can play some funky tricks on us. Ever started the day off with an argument with someone? Can that ruin your day? Sure it can, but it doesn't have to. The choice is yours. It is what it is and we go from there. You can do it, when you are ready. ANd until then, please be kind to yourself. You deserve it! :D

[nfracer]

BTW nfracer, where in upstate ny are you? I am from upstate as well.

northern, ny.....above Syracuse and near Watertown....Where are you?

[SuBu]

4forme--Sounds like we share that "all or nothing" mentality. If one slip can "ruin" a day's worth of effort, then we'll never be "successful". Our choice of measuring sticks has been skewed. Just attempting this journey is a "success" and we may slip and fall along the way, but we pick ourselves back up and keep plodding along. If I only think about a specific goal (instant weight loss, instant health, being 100%-100% of the time) I forget that there is a joy in this adventure/journey. This is MY choice. I am embracing it, loving it, and enjoying this community. I'm trying to stop my ingrained habit of guilt and self-hate. I'm sure I won't be perfect with my raw lifestyle and I won't be perfect with my exercize regimen, but then, I'm not perfect in anything else I do either. I'm just going to do the best I can today and I'll try a little harder tomorrow. We CAN do this, but let's enjoy the experience and not focus on the "woulda, shoulda, coulda". Here's hoping that you find yourself a little more raw today!

[solongng00dnite]

I KNOW how you feel. I cant seem to make it through an entire week without giving in once. Last night was my once. I had a bunch of cereal and a piece of organic cake. I find that this temptation strikes most when I am running out of fruit and vegges so make sure you stay stocked.

[Dj 247]

I'm no raw food angel, I'll tell you that. And I have a husband and 3 children to cook for...But one thing I've been trying to do that is helping is to not "seperate" my food from my family's food- what I mean, is that everything I make for myself is available for them at the table. My kids may have cereal, but they'll also have some green drink - If I make raw chilli, I'll pull out some carrot sticks and share with them for an afternoon snack (sure, sometimes they'll eat it with corn chips). They, of course, always have some salad on their plates, or a little serving of whatever I've made for myself for dinner.

A couple of days ago my husband even tried a bite of my raw pudding (usually he has some "clever" comment about what my raw-food concoctions look like). But he tried it, and said "interesting".

I guess, I just can't do this diet as a "seperate" diet from my family- I just can't work that out mentally. Meal time with my family is important, and I don't want to feel divided. I want to eat WITH them, so now, I make dinner for us (with raw and cooked)- and then we choose what we want to eat out of the spread. And then I feel like I'm choosing what I want (raw) and still sharing a meal with my family, instead of eating "my own" food. Does that even make sense? This is kind of a new thing for me, and like I said before, I cave all the time- but I'm hoping this will help me to stick to it more often (and help my family enjoy more fresh food).

Anyway, good luck to you, and I love hearing what works for people!

I love the example that you are setting for your children! That they have a choice in the food that they eat is awesome! I have a trick that I use with my grandchildren I let them eat a banana, or orange slices, or vegetables while I fix their plates and I find they eat these all up before the other stuff hits the table.

[Xanadu]

Or maybe a good swift kick!

People see what raw can do, have a great couple of weeks, give in to temptation and find themselves crawling back to what they know works in the end. Is this a Freudian slip? :) I so wish it didn't happen with me, but alas, it did.
Unfortunately it is not as easy or simple as the first time I embarked on the journey. Not sure why. The longer you stay raw the more it will force you to examine these "whys". And then the motivation will come easier. When I make things for the rest of the family, I just can't stay away from it. Prepare your food first and as you make theirs nibble and taste away on yours and see how it satisfies you just as well as the flavors of the SAD. It is just the addictive chemicals calling to you labeling themselves in your brain as irresistable flavor but it is a lie that the addictive chemicals have conditioned in your brain. I can talk myself out of it til I am blue in the face, but then it's like something else is in control of my hands and I just eat it mindlessly. Do something that keeps it from being mindless. You can think up a trick that will work for you like wearing plastic gloves or writing "I will not poison myself on your hands so you have to see it as you use your hands or use only red bowls for thier food - some sort of trick that will work for you.:(

I have every intention of making the day 100% and then I do soemthing stupid like I did this morning. My husband has this mental habit that once he has "sinned" he might as well go ahead and eat that way all day and then used to binge for days sometimes so now he says to himself that if he slips he can slip with just one bite or one dish or WHATEVER and that that does not ruin the rest of the day, he can just go right back to the diet.
Now I feel bloated, have a headache (more from lack of sleep than anything), Yes the bad food can keep you from sleeping. Write this feeling/symptoms down or record it on a tape or take a picture of yourself with the circles under your eyes/bloated stomach etc. to read/listen to/ look at near where you are preparing the family's food. It can be a powerful motivator. and am discouraged I have ruined yet another day that could have been great! NOT! Rome wasn't built in a day!

I can't just get everything out of the house, my family isn't on the bandwagon with me. Which may or may not change. Pray about it. Share info by leaving it around the house. Print out stuff off the computer that interests you. Buy the book by Boutenko's kids and leave it laying around. My husband picked up my book in the bathr..., ahem, library, and then took it away from me to read it. Although what I make is healthy, it's not raw. There's that freudian slip again. Some part of your brain is still needing convincing that cooked food is NOT HEALTHY. Study more. Never stop. Always be learning. Always have a book about the raw diet to take with you where ever you go. I have to and I have been studying the raw diet for a year and a half now.

Anyone relate? What did you do to kick start back into the routine? I heard a phrase that resonated deeply within me. It was "the courage of your convictions". I had seen a documentary type film on the Sundance channel about where our food comes from and although I love the taste of beef, pork, chicken, fish, etc. I felt that to inflict the suffering on them that the documentary clearly showed was morally wrong. Not to mention what it does to my children and grandchild to continue to consume these things. Read "The China Study" and you will see what I mean. So I felt that if I have "the courage of my convictions" I must set the example that if I can do it then so can they. It also helped to continue to remind myself of my health problems and those of my family who so many of which have died of cancer. There are many books out on raw diet, environmental damage caused by the SAD diet etc. Alissa has a couple in her pre-requisites for taking her certification courses. By all means if you haven't read her book all the way do that FIRST. Then don't stop. And do remember that even the strongest gurus in the movement often took years to get into it fully so forgive yourself and go forward. Whew! I should shut up already. :o
............

[SuBu]

I know your post was written for 4forme, but I needed it so much. Thank you for all of your practical suggestions and insight.

[4forme]

dj 247 - that is a great idea, putting both meals out and then everyone can choose what they want. My 2nd born loves fresh fruits and veg. and often prefers them anyway.

Xanandu- wow, that was exactly right on! So much goodness in that post. I want to print it out and stick it soemwhere I can read it often! I like the idea you gave for preparing my meal first and having that to nibble on instead of other things, that's a greta idea! "The courage of your convictions", I was just thinking about this very thing yesterday! In the book of Daniel in the Bible, he mentioned he had to "purpose it in his heart" (not to eat the delacasies of the kings food). This showed it was tempting for him, but he knew it was something he had to do, even in the midst of temptation and unsupportive people.
So much goodness in what you wrote, thankyou!!!

solongng00dnite Yes, keeping things well stocked, and prepared is a key for me. If there isn't something easy to grab, I will grab what is easy. I don't get stomach hunger, I get emotional. I get shaky or cranky or just weak feeling. So, having something there quickly is important.

SuBu- Yes, I have major trouble with the all or nothing mentality. I am actually working on it, beleive it or not. I am working on positive affirmations, speaking truth through scriptures and if I do make a choice that's no so good, I don't beat myself up for it and eat horrible the whole day. This is a big step!

nfracer- I am originally from Syracuse! We moved from there 3 1/2 yrs ago and are now in Singapore. But I grew up there and lived there my whole life until we moved. Don't miss the lack of sunshine that's for sure! But, I do miss the seasons and beautiful colors of fall!

slmcarte- I feel the same way. Mealtime is a time for being together. If I feel allienated, as one can when being the odd one out, then it totally works against the togetherness of it all. You offer great suggestions. We almost always have salad, to the point where my husband call me a rabbit, and my kids think it's all I eat. Thanks for sharing your experience!

trinity082482- actually my biggest motivation is getting better. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! I want life and to enjoy playing with my kids. The energy I experienced when I went raw in the beginning was awesome, I want that back!

So, here's to all the great encouragement I recieved, and hopefully it can encourage others as well. I even started to blog and last night wrote down all the reasons I started this journey.