Tips for social eating with non-raw people?

[callmebecca]

...which would be, all the people I know...

I didn't stay raw this weekend, and it was definitely because I knew I would seem like a fanatic if people saw me eat nothing but fruits and veggies etc. In particular, I spent a lot of time this weekend with a friend who's in med school, and she's very skeptical about a raw diet being balanced and complete - I just didn't want to get into it with her, so I didn't eat raw.

I also know how annoying it can be if you're all set to indulge and then the person you're eating with orders a salad...

Can you tell me how you've dealt with this kind of thing? I'm 25 and single, and everything from hanging out with friends to going on dates involves food - I don't want to be defined by what I eat, but it seems like with the raw diet, it does define you.

[tanishamarshall]

I always here people say bring your own food but I feel a bit weird taking out my home made food at a restaurant, the only thing I could see myself sneaking which is a suggestion I got from here was making my own dressing and putting on the salad, but it is really hard being social when Raw unless your socializing with other Raw Foodist.

I was thinking that the next time I'm out with friends that I will make it known that I do not discuss my eating habits while at dinner if they want to discuss we can talk about it outside of hanging out, this way my dinner doesn't have to turn into a fued over the reasons you should eat meat.

[rawsurfer]

na u just gotta make it clear that you are not in judgement of anyone. i just try not to talk about raw, and if people ask, i say "do you raelly want to know? because i can explain for as long as you like." or if they ask why, im just like "you know, i just wana do it man. i like it". people really respect that and are just like okay thats cool, and it makes them feel a lot less threatened. when i am around people eating sad stuff, i try to appreciate what they are eating and just be like wow that looks good (if i think it looks good of course)... im good in the kitchen so i can appreciate a good dish still, even if it is ridiculously unhealthy lol. i just make it clear that i dont expect anyone else to live how i live, and usually they understand, almost subconsciously, that it would only be fair to not impose their way of life on me.

you could always bring a bunch of fudge balls or some rich raw dessert and eat that while your friend is indulging...

[rawsurfer]

I always here people say bring your own food but I feel a bit weird taking out my home made food at a restaurant, the only thing I could see myself sneaking which is a suggestion I got from here was making my own dressing and putting on the salad, but it is really hard being social when Raw unless your socializing with other Raw Foodist.

im just learning now that it reallly doesnt matter to other people as much as it matters in our heads. i mean a lot of my old friends i dont really enjoy being around much, but there are plenty who i still enjoy spending time with. i just put my rawness out of my mind, and eat some fruit or somthin when the time comes. friends just laugh.

i was at a party saturday and everyone was gettin all drunk and havin a good time and stuff, and i saw so many people that i knew there. they were just like "so you dont drink or smoke, and all you eat is fruits and veggies? far out man. im never gonna do that but thats cool"... one of my friends was like" your gonna turn into a watermelon man"... but people really could care less, as long as you are not imposing your beliefs on them.

[shooting star]

I just got back from 4 days on a boat with my friends. Wow I can't believe how much junk they ate!

I took a load of flax crackers, raw chocolate cakes, courgette (zuchini) hummus, raw cacao pods, trail mix, ACV plus loads of hardy fruits and veg. My dinners were amazing! The only other thing I wished I'd taken is seaweed.

My friends loved the flax crackers, dips and cacao pods and asked me to do a dinner party where they could come and try more raw stuff!

I agree that ordering in restaurants is hard, but once people get used to you being different it gets easier especially if you only talk about it if asked.


People do worry though. On the third day I got an ear infection and I just didn't want to eat anything and drank loads of water with ACV in it. Everyone was worried because I wasn't eating, but really that's what my body needed and was asking for. At about 8pm I felt hungry and had a meal and everyone was pleased that I had eaten. We seem to have this thing in our culture that if you aren't eating constantly you will melt away in seconds! Not sure what the answer is - but just stick to your guns! After all if someone pressures you into eating something that makes you feel ill, it's not them that has to suffer the consequences is it?

[lafsalot]

Alissa and Revvell discussed this in one of their earlier RawKinRadio shows. Might want to check them out for some helpful tips and advice ~ Cathy

[Shell]

I had a get together with some of my girlfriends, and while they ordered pizza, I ate a salad that I had brought with me (we got together at one of the girls' houses, so I was able to bring my own food). I guess I'm lucky, my friends are really supportive, and appreciate what I'm doing.....they say there's no way they could ever do it, but they appreciate it, and that's all that matters to me! But like rawsurfer said, I don't talk about it unless I'm specifically asked, and I don't judge what others eat......and if what they're eating DOES look appetizing, I say so. As far as ordering at restaurants goes, I do salads, and if there are some questionable ingredients on them, like almonds, etc., I generally don't care......maybe that's just me......but I will make sure that there is no cheese or anything blatantly not raw/vegan. And I haven't gotten to the point where I'd bring my own dressing yet. I think you'll find that people in general don't care what you eat, as long as you're not all high and mighty about how wonderfully healthy you are. That's just my experience.

[Riiiya]

my boyfriend had a birthday this friday and wanted to go to a restaurant. i have to say i got a bit nervous. he wanted to invite his friends and i was thinking- how do i eat and not attract attention!?!? :confused:

in the end they couldn't come and we went alone. i'm so lucky my bfriend understands me. he can't switch to raw at this point, but he doesn't criticize me. i ordered a big amazing salad and asked the grilled chicken to be on the side- i gave it to him later lol...whatever he ordered was rather nice (well, much nicer than a burger and fries!!) and i commented that his dish looked wonderful and all..... it went perfect!:p

however when i'm with a group of people- kind of people i don't want to know about my nutrition preferences (like my friends' friends) i just either say i have a planned dinner later or i mention some health issue. period. i know it's pretty much "lying" (even though not completely) but i don't want to bring up this subject with people i don't really know :o

[pierces*designs]

For me it is easy. I just say that I have a ton of food allergies so it's this or nothing.

[iamacranberry]

What I'd like to know is what some of you do about a dinner invitation at someone's house. I don't want to trouble people with asking them to try and figure out something vegan, let alone raw vegan. But if I suggest that I'll bring along a dish to share, I'm usually told not to bother.

[pierces*designs]

I don't thik it is unreasonable to explain that your diet is restricted and just a salad or veggies for you would be fine and you will bring a raw food entree to share. If they don't want to try it, that is fine.

I know when we go to the inlaws (I live in the traditional south) on holidays, they always eat my vegetarian dishes and exclaim about the colors and crispness. "Wow! I didn't know string beans were green when you cooked them!" LOL

[callmebecca]

Thanks, all, for your responses! Maybe I just had to have a weekend like this to build up the guts to order a salad next time. :) I appreciate the advice to say "this is something i'm trying out" or "I've been doing this for awhile, it works well for me" and leave it at that, if someone asks.

I guess one thing that's bumming me out is that two of my best friends are med students, and I've already told both of them all about this because I tell them all about everything, and they've both said that raw vegan food can't constitute a balanced diet. I know that they've been taught that and they have my best interests in mind - it might take a little time, but we'll have to agree to disagree.

I don't think I'll ever bring my own food into a restaurant, but I can work on not having what I order be as big of a deal to myself or to those I'm with. Maybe it'll just take time.

[Riiiya]

Thanks, all, for your responses! Maybe I just had to have a weekend like this to build up the guts to order a salad next time. :) I appreciate the advice to say "this is something i'm trying out" or "I've been doing this for awhile, it works well for me" and leave it at that, if someone asks.

I guess one thing that's bumming me out is that two of my best friends are med students, and I've already told both of them all about this because I tell them all about everything, and they've both said that raw vegan food can't constitute a balanced diet. I know that they've been taught that and they have my best interests in mind - it might take a little time, but we'll have to agree to disagree.

I don't think I'll ever bring my own food into a restaurant, but I can work on not having what I order be as big of a deal to myself or to those I'm with. Maybe it'll just take time.

If they keep trying to reassure you (your med friends) you can just give them one of the raw food books or even articles online (there's a lot that talk about nutrition lies we all hear and stuff) and say Hey read this, and then we'll talk :D

[tanishamarshall]

If they keep trying to reassure you (your med friends) you can just give them one of the raw food books or even articles online (there's a lot that talk about nutrition lies we all hear and stuff) and say Hey read this, and then we'll talk :D


Great Idea Riiiya!!

[dalimeindacoconut]

This is funny. Maybe it's because I live in L.A., but here is my experience. Been raw for a couple months, but just recently cut out the processed sugar (I keep talking about this I know, but it's really been a trip). I ate so much processed sugar at work ie: handfuls of chocolates, anything sweet and guess what they say to me now: Wow, I'm so proud of you that you have not had any chocolate. I know I'm shocked I'm doing this, so I know they must be completely baffled. They would always joke that I was the one who ate all the chocolate, they would literally find wrappers stuffed underneath chairs and would know it was me. Whenever you make a change in your life it threatens others around you as it makes them aware of the changes they need to make. Just do your thing, quietly, and share with them when they ask. Otherwise, all that matters is that you are taking care of your health.

[meg.june]

Eating raw is a lifestyle, it is part of who you are and people only ask because they want to know more. Be proud of who you are and if they are people you really want in your life that really want you in their lives they will probably be more accepting that you think.

Good luck... dealing with a similar issue myself...

[DavidZaneMason]

I hear you. The social thing is a BIG issue for many. I don't KNOW how you feel.......but it must be difficult.

My opinion: OTHER people may have an issue with the way you eat....but you don't have to make that YOUR issue. Sex, religion, diet.......these are all very personal issues. Issues that you need to maintain reasonable 'dignity boundaries'. Be humorous, but do not discuss these personal details with those that would be critical, non-supportive, or cross-examining.

-When going out, simply say: "I'm trying to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables...and that's what I'm in the mood for." I also make it VERY clear to friends and loved ones that I am there to support THEM and to see THEM. Eating is not an issue for me. The idea of going to 3 parties a day for 3 days and not eating a darn thing....and being as suave as ever...does not phase me in the least! LOL. Do I think I am doing myself or them any favors by eating the stuff THEY are eating? Heck no! (Besides....you should see some of that crap!).

-If some one approaches me in private....one-on-one....and they are polite and genuinely curious...then I will relate my experiences....or refer them to my website to read up on my opinions/observations. Any other kind of comments....no matter how well intentioned.....I simply say: "I've heard you - and appreciate you. Thank you."......(heh..heh....and then I usually let my feet do the talkin....by startin to walkin......).

-Family and friends, especially, often feel they can bypass dignity boundaries. You can allow this if you wish to - but my suggestion/opinion is you don't! ;)

-David Z. Mason

[GreenJB5]

I am not 100 raw because of the same reason. I have to go out to lunch at least twice a week for my job. I tried to be so quiet when i order a plain raw salad with lemons but someone always ask 'why' followed by ten more questions. even the waitress ask ' Are you on a diet'. It so bad that my group works around my preference which is very hard when the big boss is joining us. I hate attention. Also I have not found a classy way to pull out my own dressing. What do you guys order when going out?

[tanishamarshall]

I hear you. The social thing is a BIG issue for many. I don't KNOW how you feel.......but it must be difficult.

My opinion: OTHER people may have an issue with the way you eat....but you don't have to make that YOUR issue. Sex, religion, diet.......these are all very personal issues. Issues that you need to maintain reasonable 'dignity boundaries'. Be humorous, but do not discuss these personal details with those that would be critical, non-supportive, or cross-examining.

-When going out, simply say: "I'm trying to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables...and that's what I'm in the mood for." I also make it VERY clear to friends and loved ones that I am there to support THEM and to see THEM. Eating is not an issue for me. The idea of going to 3 parties a day for 3 days and not eating a darn thing....and being as suave as ever...does not phase me in the least! LOL. Do I think I am doing myself or them any favors by eating the stuff THEY are eating? Heck no! (Besides....you should see some of that crap!).

-If some one approaches me in private....one-on-one....and they are polite and genuinely curious...then I will relate my experiences....or refer them to my website to read up on my opinions/observations. Any other kind of comments....no matter how well intentioned.....I simply say: "I've heard you - and appreciate you. Thank you."......(heh..heh....and then I usually let my feet do the talkin....by startin to walkin......).

-Family and friends, especially, often feel they can bypass dignity boundaries. You can allow this if you wish to - but my suggestion/opinion is you don't! ;)

-David Z. Mason

Great Post David....

[iamacranberry]

In regards to the person who wrote about med students giving "advice"...do you realise that the average medical professional takes one or fewer lectures on nutrition? And so as a result, most GPs aren't very knowledgeable on the subject.

I know in the States the American Heart Association gives its approval of the vegan diet as a healthy choice for anyone from babies to the elderly. As such, why wouldn't it logically follow that anything that could be eaten on that diet couldn't be prepared raw?

And what nutrient exactly is it that those people are convinced you aren't getting?

It's unfortunate that since the raw vegan diet is mainly spread through underground and not mainstream media, there is a LOT of faulty information being spread about it. If you can, try to back up your facts with actual medical studies and mainstream media articles when you can find them. I found a fair few just by searching the archives of some of the larger news websites.

[jenjen]

real friends will at the very least try to understand your side, and if they disagree they'll happily not say anything as long as you happily don't say anything while they chew on a boca burger.

not-real friends will make it their mission to continue to judge you openly/publicly/verbily. I had a couple like that. i don't see them anymore. not interested in being with people that won't live and let live. i mean i like getting ohnesty from friends but not every visit month after month and nothing else. talk about nuts.

be stronge, stand your ground...you'll naturally gravitate towards people who love you, even if to them your doing something different. those that continue to give you a hard time, in my opinion, are not loving 'you' so what kind of friendship is that anyway? i found i naturaly gravitated away from those kind of 'friends.' they're the minority anyway.

good luck,
j

[dreamrawalwz]

I just thought of this: Many Many Many people who AREN'T raw order just a large salad for their main meal. You don't even have to explain if you aren't asked. You can make sure it's vegan and not worry about the olives, or other questionable raw items on the salad. Try to have fun and relax :)

[RawHeaven]

I think I've been fortunate with this because I'm in San Francisco and for the most part there is acceptance with whatever you're choosing to do here and the lifestyle you're leading. With friends, I've learned to just answer questions, not respond to teasing and something that has already been commented on...not preach. I tend to bring my own food whereever I go. With restaurants I'm lucky and you guys will have to come to SF to check it out...we have 4 really good raw food restaurants. Cafe Gratitude especially. I hope more will spring up across the country, I'm sure we're moving in this direction. So what I do is take my SAD friends there and they love it. Then they understand more about what I'm eating. Once you have delicious raw food, especially yummy chocolate deserts, there's nothing left to say.

I do remember when I had a roommate a few years ago and she became increasingly uncomfortable with my vegan lifestyle. She got into competition with me without my involvement. Always comparing our dishes and making herself feel bad about her own food choices. I did offer to share my meals with her if I made too much, but she always declined. She ate a lot of cakes, cookies, chips, sodas, always eating out of bags, stuff like that. She was also sick a lot. I never saw her eating actual meals, but I never commented on it. I was simply minding my own business and doing my thing...there's really nothing you can do about that as we're not responsible for others. We're responsible for ourselves. The main thing is just to do what you feel is best for yourself, be comfortable and courageous with your food choices and enjoy your life. What happened in the end is I moved out and got my own place. So not really sure that was a good example. haha.

[RawHeaven]

We seem to have this thing in our culture that if you aren't eating constantly you will melt away in seconds! Not sure what the answer is - but just stick to your guns! After all if someone pressures you into eating something that makes you feel ill, it's not them that has to suffer the consequences is it?

I laughed when I read your comment. I learned about this fear when I was on the master cleanse for long fasts. I didn't tell too many people I was fasting but when I did, they couldn't really grasp that you will not die if you don't eat solid food! Fasting provided a great way for me to learn about the amazing healing capabilities of the human body and specifically just what my body needed. It was also a great segue into eating raw foods for me, it's all I wanted when I was completely cleansed. Honestly, I didn't have too much to do with it, I was paying close attention to my body. When I'm not feeling well I also fast, just drink tons of water with some lemon it, it gives your body a chance to heal. I think most people aren't in tune with their bodies enough to be able to take this step or even understand it, but more are getting there.

[iamacranberry]

True....and here more than anywhere I've lived....everyone. drinks. all the time. It's irritating! That I can for whatever reason pass by without a problem...probably because the atmosphere of bars just never appealed. But time to time I either want to meet up with friends, and I've now an invitation for dinner from a professor.

And for example, what to order at a Chinese place? Or other ethnic places; those are usually where I end up. I honestly don't feel bad about making the occasional exception for cooked food so long as it's healthy and vegan. But I would like to eventually make less and less exceptions.

[Lilly the Naiad]

I think I've been fortunate with this because I'm in San Francisco and for the most part there is acceptance with whatever you're choosing to do here and the lifestyle you're leading. With friends, I've learned to just answer questions, not respond to teasing and something that has already been commented on...not preach. I tend to bring my own food whereever I go. With restaurants I'm lucky and you guys will have to come to SF to check it out...we have 4 really good raw food restaurants. Cafe Gratitude especially. I hope more will spring up across the country, I'm sure we're moving in this direction. So what I do is take my SAD friends there and they love it. Then they understand more about what I'm eating. Once you have delicious raw food, especially yummy chocolate deserts, there's nothing left to say.

This is music to my ears, I'm going to SF! No, really, I'm going there. I was wondering about how much stuff for rawies was there and I guess I'm going to raw heaven :D If you could send me a pm with the name of these restaurants I'd greatly appreciate it! Don't want to hijack the thread :p

As far as the question goes, I can't say I have an answer. I haven't been terribly social since I went raw, but in case I go anywhere to eat with others I'd stick with a salad or bring my own food. If they ask, well anyone who knows me even a little bit knows I have odd tendencies so it's not too surprising. ;)

As far as my parents go, I've told my dad and he's already buying himself veggies and fruits, removing dust from the blender and trying out green smoothies. - I got them to listen saying that mum could cure her acid reflux (big issue) by drinking green smoothies, one thing led to another and now dad wants to eat more raw food! Mum will follow in no time I'm sure ;)

[Green Life]

When I'm invited to someone's home to eat, I will eat what they have and not ask for special food. It's just that I was raised to be polite in someone elses house for dinner, and eat what they offer.

[tanishamarshall]

I went out last night I brought my own dressing and ordered a salad, it was really good and my friend didn't think I was crazy.

[Yeshia]

Ive not had any problems yet thank goodness. I just turn up and eat what I am able too, no apology's or explanations necessary.If I am at a Restaurant most decent ones have some sort of salad I can eat. ( bring my own dressing or eat it with out)

Exception Macdonald's hehe. I gave mine back and was a wee bit sarcastic lol.

My close friends only want what is best for me and I am living glowing proof that I am thriving on Raw:) So they voluntarily will opt for a Vegetarian Restaurant
(We have no Raw specific ones in Montreal) when we go out, as does my son and my ex.

I guess I am lucky:D

[Yeshia]

also. I have found if you are eating with a group of relative strangers or acquaintances , you may find that as most people are very self absorbed , that unless you make a big deal of it they will rarely notice.

I remember just as I was starting my Raw Journey and alcohol-less journey I had pre-arranged a BBQ for my clients and their children weeks before. It was mainly pot luck. These are people who knew me well and no one commented on that fact I wasn't eating meat etc. many gave me small tastes of the wine they brought. I said thanks and placed it in frount of me. I ended up with 5 small glasses of un touched drinks on my table. Again people assumed I had tasted.


Since then all of these people know that I am Raw Vegen and they fully suport my efforts:)

[justinesmith]

Ive not had any problems yet thank goodness. I just turn up and eat what I am able too, no apology's or explanations necessary.If I am at a Restaurant most decent ones have some sort of salad I can eat. ( bring my own dressing or eat it with out)


Couldn't have said it better myself. What YOU put in YOUR mouth is NOBODY elses business. I went to a dinner party last weekend and my friend knows that I am raw (working hard at it anyway :o ). She made the most phenomenal salad for me (I was the ONLY one to have a big plate of greens in front of me) and it was so delicious. One of my other friends made a sarcastic remark about my big salad and said "Gee Justine, how's the salad?" (insert smirk and snideness here) I responded "this may just be the yummiest salad I've EVER had!!" and proceeded to eat with such gusto and enthusiasm that other people started to remark how good my salad looked. I even heard a few girls ask the hostess if there was any left (there wasn't cuz I ate it all - yep that's me no manners at all) after I made such a big deal out of it. If you apoligize for your choices you open the door for people to attack. I always let my hostess know ahead of time how I eat and then I offer to bring a dessert and a salad for everyone to share. I've NEVER had an issue and if I did, I probably wouldn't go or I would just go and enjoy the company. I wouldn't compromise my health for the sake of maybe hurting someones feelings. There are always positive ways to communicate what works for you without hurting other people. :D

[Madeleine.Blythe]

I have some issues when I have to eat with people.. I live on residence and we usually have floor dinners together. So, I'll get my carrots and whatever else from the salad bar, while they'll get their deep-fried-rolled-in-grease-dipped-in-fat-deepfried again burger of some sort... and I'll be the one who'll be made fun of for my choices.

Like today... 'Why do you only eat salads? what's your problem, why don't you eat normal food?'

..Because I don't want clogged arteries, a fat ass and acne, thanks.

I actually said that, and now I think my floor hates me.
haha..
Whatever.

[rawsurfer]

HAHA yeah if people give me crap I can really unleash the sarcasm but I try not to do that anymore lol.. I was reading an article yesterday that basically said that a person who eats a one grilled cheese sandwich is taking in about 700-800 calories. If he just eats one, people would look at him and consider him ascetic/ minimalistic. But if someone eats the equivalent in calories to that in, say, oranges, he would need to eat 12 oranges to get the same calorie count, yet this person would be viewed as a glutton (people usually tell me I am crazy.. we are so stupid most people don't know what a glutton is)... I try to just view everything compassionately and realize that people are being systematically dumbed down through media propaganda, food, and drugs (which are also in the food).

I went through such a psychological change when I went raw, and I know that it really affects one's persona. So it isn't ENTIRELY someone's fault for being ignorant, as we are all affected by environmental circumstances. So I just try to explain raw food to them in as few words as possible, and just be as mellow, accepting, and nonviolent as I can be. It seems to be working (but then again "working" just means keeping positive vibrations, not spreading the word about raw with all my vigor)

[StarFire]

...which would be, all the people I know...

I didn't stay raw this weekend, and it was definitely because I knew I would seem like a fanatic if people saw me eat nothing but fruits and veggies etc. In particular, I spent a lot of time this weekend with a friend who's in med school, and she's very skeptical about a raw diet being balanced and complete - I just didn't want to get into it with her, so I didn't eat raw.

I also know how annoying it can be if you're all set to indulge and then the person you're eating with orders a salad...

Can you tell me how you've dealt with this kind of thing? I'm 25 and single, and everything from hanging out with friends to going on dates involves food - I don't want to be defined by what I eat, but it seems like with the raw diet, it does define you.

http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/lol.gif ... gotta tell ya... ummm... you ARE a fanatic!!! JUST KIDDING http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/laugh.gif !!! okay -- seriously....

first of all... WHY would anyone care if someone orders a salad... is it a guilt thing? Because they are making a choice to eat something healthy - does that ruin the other persons fun of indulging in ... whatevers?? It shouldn't make any difference... I don't see why that would be annoying? !!

so -- in order for your friends to enjoy their moment of indulgence - you have to eat crap with them for them to have fun?? SOOO NOT COOL. That is not a healthy relationship -- imho... If I want to eat a blood red steak and drink myself silly --- I will do so whether the person eating with me choses to do the same or not... great! then they can be the designated driver if they choose not to indulge!!

I don't think you are defined by what you eat - unless you allow it to become an issue. Many people in the world eat salads - and they are not raw -- they just enjoy eating salads! before I became raw - I would order a huge salad for dinner and not think twice about it -- or try to 'excuse' it away... I was just in the mood for a salad ~ I've always loooved salads!! .... but now that I'm a raw foodie... because I'M sensitive to the issue of what I eat.... and because I don't want people to judge me -- I make myself uncomfortable which brings MORE ATTENTION TO WHAT I'M EATING!

ya know the funny thing is ... if we were to say - "oh I'm dieting" and ordered a salad -- chances are -- PEOPLE WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING! eating a salad while DIE'iting IS ACCEPTABLE.... why??? Im not sure! but it is!

okay - so I'm not 25, I'm not dating, and I'm waaay older so I guess I just don't give a damn.... I am what I am - if you're uncomfortable with that -- too frickin bad - it's my body - it's my life - I gotta live inside here -- not you... so you mind your own body and I'll mind mine. I suppose my attitude is not helping to answer your question is it??

I'm sorry... it's just that becca.... here's the deal... You are an amazing wonderful powerful goddess... you can be ANYTHING YOU CHOOSE TO BE! dont' be intimidated by others that well... frankly want to abuse their bodies... If you want to eat SAD COOKED foods - then do so because you choose to - not because you feel intimidated to do so. Then return to eating raw when you want to -- BECAUSE YOU WANT TO!

you are setting an example among your friends - you're stepping outside of the box (always a brave thing to do!) .... make wise choices, be the leader not the follower... and KNOW THAT YOU ARE AWESOME! you don't have to feel uncomfortable for ANYONE... if they're bothered and can't handle it... too bad -- love em anyway!

chances are ... when you start glowing from all the vibrant foods - they'll be asking you what you're doing and want to follow suit.... A good friend will love you and support you .... and always listen to you.

now ... you just go on and be your rawmacious self Girl!!! RAWK ON!!

http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/tha857f08c.gif ... hope I wasn't too feisty -- I'll blame it on my age!!! heheheee! ;)

[StarFire]

I have some issues when I have to eat with people.. I live on residence and we usually have floor dinners together. So, I'll get my carrots and whatever else from the salad bar, while they'll get their deep-fried-rolled-in-grease-dipped-in-fat-deepfried again burger of some sort... and I'll be the one who'll be made fun of for my choices.

Like today... 'Why do you only eat salads? what's your problem, why don't you eat normal food?'

..Because I don't want clogged arteries, a fat ass and acne, thanks....

I actually said that, and now I think my floor hates me.
haha..
Whatever.


http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/laugh.gif
I LOOOOVE YOU GIRL!!! RAWKIN AWESOME!!!

http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/high5.jpg

[iamacranberry]

It's especially hard to justify raw when even though I have been on it for a while, people who know me can vouch for the fact that it has done nothing for some of my most serious emotional issues. Any thoughts?

[RawHeaven]

***bump***

[jenjen]

hey this is so funny, this post was origonally posted several months ago...i didn't notice until i came across what i wrote.
i have definetly stopped hanging out with people that say negative things (to no end) regarding what's on my plate (that was only 2 people anyway)

but....
with everyone else, my new aproach is to take as much care of my body as possible with excersice, skin brushing, coconut butter, non toxic products, alkaline water, and tons of green smooties and super foods and....

gues what....???

i glow, and radiate health that i know when they see me happily order a salad (and pull an avocadoe out of my purse) with a big glowing smile and shiny radiant skin....and gleefully eat every colourfull delicious bite...i can see them look at what's on their plate and start to wonder what they're doing wrong.

it's sooooo true!!
people approach me now and ask me how to eat this way.

my new moto: don't worry about others thoughts or judgments, just make your self as happy and glowing as you can! it's like a shield...but better because it actually attracts people to you.

xo

[MOTH]

I don't compromise what goes into my body for anyone and I don't make exceptions with RAW. If people have a problem with it, they can sod off. :)

[GlimR]

This was pretty tricky for me too at first. But we go out to eat at least once a week for dinner and I do bring things with me so I can make sure I enjoy MYSELF. I bring a small jar w/salad dressing and another small contianer with diced apple, seeds, cranberries, walnuts, etc to put on my salad AND an avocado. I cut it open and scoop it out with a spoon onto my salad. It all fits into my purse, no problem...I ask for darker greens and ask to have left off whatever I don't want.......no one usually bats an eye at that and my salads are amazing and very delicious and satisfying. I do NOT want to come away feeling deprived. This just works for me, as far as going to restaurants.
If we go to breakfast I bring an assortment of fruit in my purse and a small bag of nuts.......you just have to do what works for you..it's only a big deal if YOU are uptight about it.

[Priscilagj@mac.com]

As a sixteen year old, for example, socializing with food can get a bit tricky. But I've found that the more open you are about it, the more accepting people are. My best friends are absolutely food lovers, they're also the tiny, little blonds you see walking around that can eat absolutely anything and not gain a pound. So, you talk to them, casually tell them that you love this way of life and you're doing for yourself. Just don't preach about it, people will most likely nod, find it interesting, and move on.
Remember, if you make it a big deal, they'll make it a big deal.
Hope this helps!
=]

[cara4art]

I agree with others who say not to make a big deal out of it, and if the occasion is a potluck, then that's your opportunity to bring a salad and/or some other wonderful raw goodies! I've done this, and usually the folks have loved the raw goodies(dehydrator cookies in this case), and often appreciated the fact that finally someone brought something natural and lighter instead of all the other heavy typical foods that people often bring to regular potlucks. If you make something that looks beautiful and is well-presented, people WILL often be curious, and be pleasantly surprised at how yummy your dish is. With the dehydrator cookies, I don't tell people they are "raw food", unless they ask and are curious about the lifestyle. Also, what I do at a group food thing is scope out the group food table to get a handle on what's good to eat, or not. I don't say anything except to comment on just how wonderful and abundant all this food is, even if much is not something I'd really eat.
But at other times of my life I got lots of flack for just being health-conscious, let alone high-raw! Things like "oh, you're skinny - you don't have to exercise or eat light" - Duh! That's HOW I stay low in weight, especially at my age(60, 61 in two months!)! And I'm aiming to get even a little bit more off(like 5-8 lbs, depending on how it looks).
Eating out, scout that menu for fresh options(most likely in the appetizer and salad parts of the menu, and ask for the simplest things with the dressing on the side, so you don't have to eat it if you don't want it. Often, if asked, the restaurant will give you a couple of pieces of fresh lemon and a slice or two of avocado for that salad. If you ask nicely about what the restaurant has for fresh foods if you have questions about what's on the menu, they'll return your pleasantness in turn and often will be happy to accommodate. Of course, this isn't possible at lots of the "grease palaces", but you're unlikely to be at those places anyway, unless you hang out with serious junk food eaters! Be sure to compliment others who are eating with you about how delicious their food looks, even if you don't eat it. And if someone asks you about why you're eating the simple dish, just tell 'em you're really serious about including more fresh food in your diet, if these folks don't know you. No moralizing about how much better raw is for you, or anything like that, unless someone is REALLY interested, then you can tell 'em about the health benefits in a positive way.
And lastly, there really are people who are dyed-in-the-wool junk food eaters who are threatened when they see you looking good and being way more fit and energetic than they are, because it points out their own bad habits, even if you don't say a WORD about what you are doing to get that way. This particularly happens with married women - the woman decides she's going to get serious about improving her health and weight(raw diet and fitness program combo in this case), even managing that with preparing other food for the other members of the family, carving out time to work out, etc. Just as she is making real inroads with feeling better, starting to get in shape, and looking good, her closest family member, often the husband, tells her how "skinny and sickly" she's looking and that this lifestyle is no good for her and why can't she eat and behave like a "normal"(SAD, couch-potato)person, etc.then others chime in with the same thing, and will even sabotage her new diet and lifestyle. Sounds grim, but this is more common than not, and it happens amongst envious friends as well.

[Smileen]

There are several raw food gurus that have suggested that a clean and simple way to deal with non-raw judgemental types is to say "MY DOCTOR SAYS...". I love that!

[iamacranberry]

Yeah...brilliant :) That and allergies...the allergy factor is my main way out of dairy and eggs. Then out of the usually 2 remaining menu items...well, "I think I'd rather the salad today...don't quite fancy *other vegan item* today..."

[Thick]

-When going out, simply say: "I'm trying to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables...and that's what I'm in the mood for."
-David Z. Mason


I love this advice! I miss DZM--he made a big impact on me when I was first learning about raw..and disappeared=/

[Thick]

chances are ... when you start glowing from all the vibrant foods - they'll be asking you what you're doing and want to follow suit.... A good friend will love you and support you .... and always listen to you.


So true! Thank you StarFire, so much!

[Katie P]

I'm 26 & have a boyfriend. We've been together for about a month & I always said the day that I have a boyfriend I wouldn't be 100% raw b/c I would never want it to be a HUGE issue. So what I do is eat as much raw as I possibly can. When we go out to lunch & dinner I'll usually get a salad of some sort so I can get the most raw foods still. When we go out with his friends I'll get a salad & fish or something & eat all the salad & some of the fish.
That is what I do b/c that is what works for me. I have no attachment to cooked or processed foods so its easy for me to have a few bites of something cooked & be okay with just that amount & be ready to eat raw food. I enjoy raw food better but My bf loves his cooked food.
He lives out of state from me & I'm gonna bring him some raw fudge....I tell him I'm gonna have him eating raw in no time!
Also he's very supportive of me eating raw....when people aren't I think it's a little harder but it can be done!

[Emmanuelle]

I worry about this too, for months I had been raw on and off because of social situations, but this time I really want to keep it raw, I have been 100% raw for two weeks again now and the idea of cooked food doesn't appeal me at the moment, I am sure it will when I go out to a fantastic restaurant with people who clearly enjoy highscale cuisine food.

What I think though, is that if you create a sense of pure confidence and excitement about your raw lifestyle, that this is contageous for people, and they will have a harder time saying something bad about it. When you feel awkward about it and feel like you should apologize yourself for eating raw in social situations, people pick up on that vibe and will pick on you.