How do you introduce your lifestyle to friends and family?

[lore-ah]

I was just reading Garden Granny's SAD family reunion thread and I didn't want to hijack it.

How do you folks introduce your eating habits to your family? I'm a beef-fed Midwesterner and people shriek in horror over not wanting a burger. If you tell them you're a vegetarian they will ask "but you still eat chicken and stuff right?"

I swear, it's harder to tell people "no, I don't drink beer anymore" or "no, I don't eat my veggies cooked" than it is to actually be raw! It's more of a stumbling block to me than adapting to the lifestyle. How dumb is that. HELP!

[firefaery]

I jsut always bring extra food wherever I go so that others can try it. It's been a couple of years, but my mother is now 100% as is my aunt. My father says he's interested in at least being 80% or so.

I come from a total SAD family, noone is at all interested in anything "natural." IT isn't simply luck that they have jumped on board. All the food they've tried has been good. I always bring tried and true things. I also bring little cards with the recipes printed out. I always get asked for them! I figure even a small number of raw dishes introduced will be that much better for everyone. IF they try enough yummy things maybe without thinking about it they will be having some raw dishes everyday.

I don't push it on anyone, but they have seen my progress and decided to give it a go. Amazing things can happen when you let your actions speak for you!

[youraw]

I live in Florida, my family all lives in Oklahoma and my husband's family all lives in Virginia. So far, none of them except my sister know I've been "dabbling" in Raw eating. My husband is all for healthy eating as long as I don't go "overboard"...not sure exactly what he would consider overboard!

Anyway, here's the problem...my in-laws are coming to stay with us for 5 days over Thanksgiving and we are spending almost 2 weeks in OK with my family over Christmas. I'm not as worried about the stay in OK, because I will be staying with my sister who is supportive and I know there is a Wild Oats in town!

Thanksgiving is going to require lots of planning ahead though....I will need to prepare cooked food for them, while eating raw myself. I am not sure about their reaction...MIL is a southern born and bred cook....biscuits and gravy, butter on everything, casseroles with cheese...etc.

Back to the question about introducing my new lifestyle. So far, I've just mentioned that I am changing my diet to eat more healthfully and no one is arguing with that. :D

[KristensRaw]

Veg News Magazine has a great feature about how to respond to people when they ask about your diet. It's entirely smart-ass, but hilarious! It's page 79.

As far as family and social gatherings....
1. I bring my own food (this makes it easier on both the host of the party and myself) :)

2. I bring extra to share with others. I offer information about it "when I'm asked."

3. I tell people that I've never felt better and it's "just something I need to do...at least for now" (people can usually support that kind of statement). Ask people to help you achieve your goal, and in the future to not offer you these things. People love to help and people want to help. If they can be a part of it, they usually jump at the chance.
Tell them you’ve never been happier or felt better and you don’t want to ruin it. This can be very effective for people in your peer group who don’t share the same health goals. If they’re able to support you and help you, even if they don’t do it for themselves, then this can be a great way to stay in the same groups without constantly having to “defend” yourself. As they see your health attain new heights, they might become more interested (this is a great thing!) So, just give it some time.

4. Wine is Raw, if you're interested in having an alcoholic beverage. Choose one that is organic and vegan if possible.

5. I also call ahead to restaurants, and usually the chef is more than pleased to accommodate my special request for low fat vegan food or a nice Raw vegetable and/or fruit plate. I also have a small laminated card I carry in my wallet that I give to the waiter to show the chef. It reads: Hello, I eat raw plant-based foods. I'd greatly appreciate it if you could make me a plate with any of the following on it: then I list a bunch of different fruits, veggies, olives, etc. It's a great way to give the chef ideas of things you eat.

6. A final thought....family is family, you're pretty much stuck with them. So ask for their support in helping you feel better by accepting your new lifestyle.
But, friends are your peer group. If your friends don't support you, it might be time to find a new peer group. You're doing this for you and no one else. You're responsible for your own health, not theirs. And, they are not responsible for yours. Take control, be cool, relaxed and chill (not defensive) and just say, "This is working for me right now, it feels great so I want to see how far I can take it...is that cool?" Then, thank them for offering their food but pass on it and offer them a sample of yours. :)

[lore-ah]

Thanks for the support on this, guys. I need it. I really don't want people to keep asking me "are you going to be eating normally that day" as if that means I'm eating abnormally. Why this is such a shock, I don't know. I haven't been much of a meat eater in years.

[beppa66]

Great question. I avoided telling anyone anything until I was sure if I could do it. After a few weeks, I started by telling them I was trying to eat "healthier". Then after that just told them how much more energy I had, and how much better I was feeling...and losing weight. Then they asked me what I was doing. I didn't tell them too much, just eating lots of raw veggies & fruits, nuts and cuting back on meats, cheese, etc. Oh, and adding smoothies for breakfast!

[beppa66]

Then my mom came for a two week visit (from NEBRASKA! Talk about beef eating states!) She ate what I did and lost 10 lbs in the first week. I made enchiladas, pizza, pasta, etc. She's hooked! Then my friend came and same scenario...I plan to go up to visit my dad at the end of this month. I look great and feel better than I have since I was like 12...the proof is in the pudding. Who doesn't want that??? Good luck! PS. I'm going to teach a class in Nebraska at the end of this month! WOOT!!!

[juliebove]

I became a vegetarian as a teen. And now I have assorted medical problems, including diabetes. Because of the medical problems, I have to watch what I eat. People seem to understand this. Or at least I think they would understand this more than if I said I was on a raw, vegan diet.

If I am invited to a dinner, I either ask if I can bring my own special salad, or... In the case of a potluck, I will bring a huge veggie plate with enough stuff on it so I can make a meal of it.

If we are dining out, I try to go to a place where I know I can eat. If not, I will eat before or after and just make do with a green salad or whatever else they have that I can eat.

[currious]

what a great idea for a post!

kristenraw.....thats awesome, thanks for the info!

I always make sure to bring food with me where ever I go, and as far as telling people.....I've been on a health food kick for about 4 months. i changed everything i ate and people got used to it. my mom, fiance, dad all support me in raw food, and I just found out my dad is interested in trying it!!! sooooooo excited about that......

I do find myself the butt of some jokes, but I always have a response, I too was once a SERIOUS sad eater, and still remember the consequences of eating over processed and over cooked foods!


I wonder what experiences people have had with this? the veteran raw foodist especially.....anyone care to share ?? :D

[mulch]

thanks for all of the input.
i was thinking the same question since thanksgiving is around the corner.
so for everyone who responded
thanks

[lore-ah]

This is very new to my husband who enjoys sitting around on the weekends with me and drinking many beers. We have an outing with out of town people from his work and he is all concerned I'm somehow going to make everything less fun. He's always very supportive, so this was a bit of a shock for me. "Oh this one weekend won't kill you" Well "one weekend" snowballed and that's how I ended up at 200lbs!

[puzit19]

Well I personally only a few days after month 2 :)

My family are getting used to it I guess...
thought my granpa is anoying me by saying in a sarcastic way so you are still eating your "healthy" food....

I seem to be really agresive and defensive about it actually...
and I didn't even know ! :eek:

My boyfriend was the one to spot it and point it out to me... when we were eating at his mom's place... and they were asking me what am I eating and why or something like that .. and my answer was really offensive in a way... defensive...
in general I was just saying "because I don't wanna die of cancer" and that "cooked food is crap and bad for you" with a bit of explanation... though I suck in explanations :\ I'm not really good with all the biology...

My dear boyfriend suggested to me to answer people in a nicer way, and talk more about me and my expirience rather than trying to explain the biology and science behind it all....

So I am trying now in a new way ... to tell people I'm trying this for health.. and will try to show them or tell them about the benefits I've have this way
Also will not push my boyfriend into eating raw and stop teasing him and being mad about him eating crap lol....
I'll just let eveything happen is it does....

I trust nature ^_^

Love,
Mary

[menvili]

I became a vegetarian as a teen. And now I have assorted medical problems, including diabetes. Because of the medical problems, I have to watch what I eat. People seem to understand this. Or at least I think they would understand this more than if I said I was on a raw, vegan diet.

If I am invited to a dinner, I either ask if I can bring my own special salad, or... In the case of a potluck, I will bring a huge veggie plate with enough stuff on it so I can make a meal of it.

If we are dining out, I try to go to a place where I know I can eat. If not, I will eat before or after and just make do with a green salad or whatever else they have that I can eat.

Hí Juliebove,

what kind of diabetes do you have 1st or 2nd type? My daughter has 1st type and we start this raw to heal her. can we share experiences? how do you feel can raw diet help for your diabetes?
william

[Lilly the Naiad]

I told them that if I didn't do it I'd get cancer. Might sound extreme but my mum had cancer in her uterus when she was 32, that's 5 years ahead of me. I also said that I felt so great I just wanted to exercise. They can't possibly argue with that ;)

[lore-ah]

I've been mentioning my mom a lot, too. She had her first heart attack around 53. That's in 15 years for me. She died of heart failure at 64. I'm not ready to go in 26 years! Usually when I say heart disease runs in my family people are sympathetic; that is until they want me to go out and binge with them then I hear "Oh one time won't hurt". I'm growing to hate that phrase to the point of violent rage.

[lore-ah]

Sorry to bump but yet again I'm frustrated. My good friend is very supportive. I could tell her I'm doing just about anything and she'd be on board with me. I showed her Alissa's book and she was reading online articles about similar concepts. We were really excited to work together on getting healthy, although she would never give up meat and wouldn't do 100% raw.

Anyway she was amazed at my progress and weight loss and comes up with this "so you're still eating fish though right?"

et tu brute?

I swear to God, Midwesterners CAN NOT wrap their minds around the concept of vegan.

[beppa66]

Uh, Lore-ah,
I grew up in Nebraska...doesn't get more midwestern than that. LOL
My mom is still living there and is getting ready to host a raw food party and class. Give them time, they might just surprise you. ( :

In the meanwhile we're all here for support. The word IS getting out about raw, and it will be seen less and less as an "extreme" way to eat. I agree with the post that said just be happy and healthy and love what you're doing. People will automatically be attracted to (and want) that. Those that don't, aren't qite ready yet.