View Full Version : I am so lost and SAD...
09-08-2007, 12:36 PM
I have strayed from raw and am eating so poorly. How did I get this far away??? I am eating all low calorie stuff, artificial sweetners and diet soda!!! I didn't drink soda a long time before I went raw. Also I feel like I am developing an eating disorder. I count calories like mad and say I'm not going to go over 250 and if I do I find myself trying to throw it up, but fortunately I can't gag myself. I know better than this!!! I know how to not feel this way but I am being pulled under. I want to get back. I've been off and on before, but it has never been this bad. Maybe I should order some food and start a fast to get back on my feet. I love the raw food life. I WILL GET BACK...!!!!! The only time I feel free of food obsession is when I eat raw, even though 'other people' would think raw is obsessive. I just ate a brownie and my 'raw self' and my 'calorie counting self' both hate me. Argggghhh!!!!!
09-08-2007, 01:15 PM
I really wouldn't suggest a fast if you're on the cusp of an eating disorder. 250 cals and/or wanting to purge is so harmful to your body, but you knew that. Maybe try baby steps? Have a green smoothie or piece of fruit instead of a brownie or whatever your vice is. Tell yourself "I'll eat this banana and if I really want that brownie, I'll have it in 15 minutes". That's how I trick myself, and it works. I never want the bad thing after I've had something good.
Please take care of yourself. Don't end up like my sister who was in an eating disorder ward of a hospital for a month, weighing in at 75 lbs. She's perfectly fine now; this was a long time ago but it's still scary to think about.
09-08-2007, 01:16 PM
Hey there. Don't be so negative. Like Dorit says, LOVE. Start thinking positive thoughts and head in positive directions. What's done is done. Move forward. Don't look back. Begin again. Think positive, loving thoughts. You are producing negative energies and your body, mind, and soul is focusing on that. You NEED to produce positive thoughts and energies so your body will respond properly. You CAN do this, you know that, you've done it before. You're not a bad person because you strayed. Your body will forgive you. And oh yeah, two words:
09-08-2007, 01:29 PM
Amberly - big huggs.... http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/hug-1.gif
Please remember that this is a journey. Every journey is different - it has really good parts and parts that suck -- and parts were we suddenly realize we are off the path and how in the heck did that happen??? :eek: !!! ... but all in all ... we just plugging away at it and eventually we get back on track... little by little... baby steps... but a baby step is better than no step!
The fact that you are here posting and your heart is crying out to return... is a good thing - a positive sign that you are ALREADY on the road back to healthy choices and vibrant life.
Make one healthy choice at a time until you are ready to jump back in with both feet. As VFL sayz "Green Smoothies"!!! ;)
I'm very glad you are still posting though... and reaching out to your Rawbie family and friends... We are here to support you!
09-08-2007, 01:49 PM
I totally understand. For years, I didnt crave SAD food until I went raw (go figure :rolleyes: ) and green smoothies only increase my cravings for certain things. For me, its a matter of finding raw substitutions and just riding it out. It will pass eventually.
09-08-2007, 04:35 PM
You will find your way foward. I went through a phase of eating Mcdonalds, rolled tacos, soda, etc... until I developed a corn, soy allergy that caused my fingers to blister. Talk about an incentive to stop eating the crap. I'm not perfect but at least I don't eat anything fried, partially hydrogenated, refined and I have completely stopped eating all meat. This is all in 6 months and I started My Raw Journey 2 years ago. Yes, I ate really well at times, even stayed raw for weeks. Now I can go days without eating something cooked and it usually is vegetables, rice, beans. Raw is a process even if you've been Raw for years. After feeling the difference, You will always be compelled towards living as healthy as you can. There's no going back. That is why Know-ledge is power.
09-08-2007, 06:10 PM
I feel closer to being back now that I have posted and you have replied. I can't wait to feel great again. Raw food is so awesome. I think being away from internet and away from good food sources has allowed me to straw so much. I feel so good saying...I WILL BE RAW AGAIN!!!!!
09-08-2007, 07:10 PM
something positive that you could do is to reflect on how much better you felt physically and psychologically when you were eating a raw diet - if it helps write yourself a letter or affirmation that you can carry around with you. and then keep a journal of what you are eating and how you feel throughout the day
the idea is that you start to see the relationship between eating and having a healthy perspective about food.
keep your chin up!
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