HELP!! being forced to eat SAD

[RawDancer]

My mom is forcing me to eat all of this SAD crap like chicken and pasta ect. because I'm "anorexic" I have been recovering from anorexia for the past year and have been adding more and more raw food in so that now I eat very high raw 90-100% (except when force fed:( ) My parents, mom especially think that me eating raw is part of my disorder and so she makes me SAD because she thinks that for me to get better I have to give up control over food and eat 'normal' food. She won't even let me talk to her about it or substitute raw high calorie heavy foods for the meat and stuff. She just says "You have to eat meat. Your body type needs to eat meat and right now you have to eat meat every few days inorder to gain weight. Everybody aggrees that Raw food doesn't work, we already tried it" Ever since I was diagnosed with anorexia my family's health/food choices have gotten worse. We used to be vegan and eat a fair amount of raw (my dad owned Rawlifeline a company that shipped raw meals) now they eat meat and dairy and junk food all the time. It's so frusterating I used to be the unhealthy one who would only eat pasta and wouldn't ouch veggies now I want to eat raw and they won't let me. I really need some scientific evidence or success stories about people especially anorexics gaining weight and getting better eating raw food. I have to prove to my mom that I can get to a healthy weight. Right now I weigh 80lbs and I'm 5' and I'm 15 yrs old, so I need to gain weight, I'm really boney. Raw food has totally changed how I look at food. I enjoy eating and want to eat unlike before when I had the anorexic mindset that food is bad and I shouldn't eat alot. With raw food I don't try to limit myself trust me I eat tons of high calorie high, fat foods. I eat avocados, nuts and coconuts daily. I'm not afraid of those types of foods. I feel so healthy, happy and vibrant when I eat raw, I don't feel like I want to get rid of my food, (my mom says that I should loosen up with food and have more fun and stop trying to be contolling) I'm not controlling about food, as long as it's raw I want to eat it.

Also I'm having a really hard time gaining weight which is partially why my mom is making me eat SAD so if anyone had any experiece or advice for gaining weight, like what/how much I should eat in a day I would really appriciate it!!!!

Sorry for rambling on...wow this ended up being kinda long.

[Revvell]

Two things... get "The China Study" from the library and share it with your mom. Secondly, find a way to get a copy of the dvd "Eating" and watch it with them. http://www.ravediet.com/.

Third, trust that in 3 years you can be on your own. As long as you live in their house you are their responsibility and they may be feeling responsible for your health problems.

btw ~ There is a section for teens here. You may wish to do some researching there.

Take care,

Revvelll

[Bobbie]

It sounds like your parents fell off the raw wagon, and don't want to get back on it, and you eating a raw diet makes them feel guilty and uncomfortable about their own eating habits. So they have to say raw is bad and doesn't work and that what they're eating (cooked meat, pasteurised dairy and junkfood which even conventional cooked scientists will tell you are bad for your health!) is good and necessary.

You don't need to prove anything to them or give them scientific evidence or success stories. They already know that junk food is not healthier than raw food even if they genuinely don't believe a raw diet is healthy anymore.

Controlling you is not going to help you recover from annorexia. Them controlling what you eat is no better than you controlling what you eat. When I was little the rule was always eat everything on your plate, so I would force feed myself food I didn't want with the help of emotional blackmail from adults (so n so likes carrots, so n so likes mushrooms, so n so always eats everything on her plate) and because of that I ended up with annorexia. Eventually you just give up and can't bring yourself to force food anymore and don't want to eat at all. What they are doing to you, is actually a common cause of annorexia. They are making mealtimes a stressful ordeal for you and making you dislike "normal" food even more. This is not going to cure you of an eating disorder, its going to make it worse. They cannot "cure" you by forcing you to eat. They can force you to behave like a "normal" person, but thats not going to take away the disorder. To be cured you have to want to eat. You do want to eat raw food, so to try prevent you eating it is just wicked and counterproductive.

I know this would be hard but can you not just refuse to eat the cooked food? I wish thats what I had done when I was little. It would have been very difficult to go against them, but sometimes the right thing to do is to disobey authority figures when what they're telling you to do is wrong.
Unless they literally force the spoon into your mouth they can't force you, and there's probably a law against physically force feeding a 15 year old.

As for putting on weight - blended greens are supposed to help people who have trouble with being too thin on a raw diet. You could try eating more avocados (blend or chop them into all your meals) and taking cold pressed flax oil by the tablespoon (1-6tbs per day is the recommended dose).
You could also try increasing your portion sizes. If you usually add 1 banana to a smoothie try adding two and throw in some oil or hemp seeds as well.

[Riiiya]

sorry for your situation:( - i can see how your parents are concerned, but they have to understand that you're not Restricting yourself! :mad: They do realize SAD is not best, i guess they're just afraid this is you becoming too food-conscious..?

in the Sunfood Diet Success System by David Wolfe he talks about how you can gain weight- you still eat greens/vegetables and sweet fruits, but make the major emphasis on fats... i know this is kind of obvious though

[RawDancer]

Thanks for the suggestions so far!

Revvell: My dad has read the China Study along with almost every other raw food book out there....that's one of the reasons I am so frusterated and confused. My parents especially my dad know so much about raw food and that it is the right thing for you. I'll have to look for that DVD as well

Bobby: I totally agree with you about the whole not letting me eat raw food because deep down they feel guilty for not being raw. Like maybe seeing me eating all this vibrant healthy food and feeling good makes them feel so uncomfortable they try to stop it so they don't have to face it and remember what they used to have.
"I know this would be hard but can you not just refuse to eat the cooked food?"
I wish I could do that. I tried doing that before and they threatened to take me to the hospital and put me on an IV and one time they almost took me. And the thing is my weight is so low that they would put me on an IV. Everytime I go to the Dr. they tell my parents to put me into an eating disorder facility, thank God they haven't!

Riiya: I'll ask my dad if he has the Sunfood Diet for Success System

You guys have no idea how it feels to have people listen to you and and actually want to let you eat! Also to be listened to and treated like a human being rather then some crazy person who is being controlled by anorexia. I feel like everybody looks at me as Anorexia a Problem not as Bryonna a Person. I'm always put into a box and labeled as anorexic and then no one treat me like a person they just treat me like a problem. Seriously you have no idea how much it means to me to actually be listened to and to feel like people truly care.

[NYbutterfly]

Hi there,

I am a recovered anorexic. I suffered from it very badly and was placed in 3 different treatment programs and a hospital before finally healing. It took a very long time and I kept relapsing. During my 7 year struggle I lived both on my own and with my family, and it didn't make a difference as to what I ate. The disease was strong enough that I never ate what they wanted me to eat. I did eat SAD, though... I never knew what raw was.

Looking back on it now, I see how painful it must have been for my family to eat next to me, a dying little girl who's hands would shake at the sight of food on her fork nearing her mouth. It is now that you must put yourself in your family's shoes. See things through their eyes and it will ease the frustration for you. They are SCARED. Anorexia kills. That's all that matters to them as they see you "restrict" your food choices. Now getting them to see things from your point of view can be tough, but try (without an argument) to explain that you are more comfortable eating raw and will therefore take in more calories through raw than with SAD. Tell them that if you lose weight, you'll reconsider or perhaps consult a nutritionist. "Food fights" can be more about a power struggle and control than about the food itself.

Even as a "recovered" anorexic, my highest weight at 5'5" was 97 lbs. I discovered a raw food diet and immediately started to gain. In the beginning, increased calories made my metabolism speed up and I lost a bit. It did adjust, and I gained 10 lbs. Lots of avocados, nuts, sprouted grains and dried fruit did the trick, plus green smoothies. Unfortunately I fell off the raw wagon and back on the binge/purge wagon so I am now once again struggling with eating disordered issues.

All my best goes out to you and your family. This is a frightening disease and I am sure that you must have a lot of courage as you face recovery. Email me if you want someone to talk to at any time...

[PammieTaj]

On the one hand, as a parent, I can understand their concern. You can die from your dis-ease.

And anytime someone who is not a mainstream eater has an eating disorder, it's usually blamed/associated with whatever kind of eater they are.

I'd say document what you eat. This is frequently used in behavior mod for all kinds of things, not just eating. Document your behavior. Get a fitday or nutridiary account and keep track of what you eat. Even the SAD stuff. Compare your raw food choices to your other stuff. *Hopefully* there are medical/psycho-social professionals involved in your recovery whom you can get behind you on the documentation thing. Make sure you have witnesses. (c:

Most of all let go of your rage toward your folks. They are honestly doing the best they can by you. Regardless of how much you think they are screwing up. They know more about how much they are screwing up than you do, believe me.

Finally, you will be an adult one day and it will all be on you.

[NYbutterfly]

Most of all let go of your rage toward your folks. They are honestly doing the best they can by you. Regardless of how much you think they are screwing up. They know more about how much they are screwing up than you do, believe me.

Finally, you will be an adult one day and it will all be on you.

Wow, well said. I wish I had that simple bit of advice when I tore my family apart with my eating disorder. Honestly, what you said is so simple and true, it really touched me. "If I only knew then what I know now"....

[samariah]

have you told your parents what you are telling us here? try and be as open and honest with them as possible.

[Weazelchef]

If you are being forced to eat SAD then i would say do a whole lot of cleanses! That much would help atleast..

[samariah]

remember, at least high raw is better than no raw. maybe also demonstrate to your parents that you are getting adequate calories by calculating it or something and showing them all of what you eat daily. Talk to your parents. Tell them that you now ENJOY eating bc of raw, that eating HAS become fun for you. I know raw made eating more fun for me bc i felt i could experiment with all kinds of dishes and not worry about negative health consequences. part of recovering from an eating disorder is losing the mentality that food is evil, that enjoying it is wrong and not merely just gaining weight. i trust your parents are aware of the fact that anorexia merely isn't a too thin body but a very distorted relationship with food and you now seem to be healing your relationship with it.