Vent

[barose]

Sorry if this isnt in the right place. Mods, feel free to move or delete if necessary.

I am feeling very discuraged with being raw right now. I feel many phycicial health benefits But my emotional/mental health is suffering. I do not feel the “raw high” everyone else seems to be feeling. I have very little mental energy, angry most of the time and I feel like I’m slipping further into depression. I feel like I’m missing something in my diet, but I eat all day including practically gagging g on green %&*^&* smoothies. I know raw is good for me physically, but I’m not sure if its good for me mentally. With each week, I’m raw, I feel worse. My diet was pretty strict prior to raw except I wasn’t vegan. I ate fish several times a week and did not feel this way. Before you write me about how barbaric it is to eat fish and meat, I don’t plan on going back to it anytime soon. But I don’t know what else to do. I tell people that a raw vegan diet is the best diet, but I feel like a liar because I feel like crap.

I have plenty of greens, oils, fruit etc. I don’t know what else to do.

(I’m out of town and wont be back on WiFi until tomorrow)

[Rawkinlocs]

I just emailed you Barose...

[bodaflower]

Mental health is such a huge aspect of your well-being, in my opinion it's the most important. I don't believe in eating anything if I am not going to be acceping and gracious about it, and love every bite that goes into my mouth (whether it's spinach or a burrito!).

That's one of the big reasons I haven't been raw lately..I felt like I couldn't work on both my mental health and physical health at the same time (even though they really do influence each other tremendously)

I'm getting ready to go back to 100% and stay strong about it, especially since I just got a job (at Wild Oats, where I shop about 27 times a week :D ) and I'll be able to buy more things than just a basic salad mix and bananas and apples to eat all week.

I am having some difficulties , though, mainly just thinking about all the things i "won't be able" to have..like the m&m i just put in my mouth :o

But really, I love being raw so much, but there's no way I could do it if I didn't have that mindset, which brings me back to their influence on each other. Mabye you should consider doing a fast , whether on water, juices, or smoothies or whatever you see fit . A good fast always clears the head.

I hope I could help, I'm not even sure what I just wrote
feel free to ask me any more questions or things you'd like to discuss :)

[beppa66]

Have you tried adding B vitamins? They helped me - even before going raw.
I hope you feel better soon. Depression stinks.

[bodaflower]

Could you tell me more about the B Vitamins, and which kind/where to get them?
I know they have them at Wild Oats, but which one in particular should I look for

Thanks :)

[Coriander74]

Barose...

It's my belief that you should live and eat the way you want to without feeling any pressure from anyone. We're all different beings, and what works for one might not work for the next.

How long have you been feeling this way? Maybe there's something that is missing in your diet that could help you through your depression.

Whatever it is, you have a lot of support here. Try not to feel pressured by the "shoulda coulda woulda's" and do what works for Barose. :)

[Nurse in the Raw]

Barose....what blood type are you? It wouldn't be O+ would it?

[Morn]

I ditto Corriander 74. However, I just wonder if you could mix up your diet a bit. Maybe try some new raw recipes. I often read through recipes before I go to bed at night just to see what else might sound good. I find that when I get bored or not interested in raw food it is time to try something new. Also I will say this and hope to not get censored. If adding a cooked food item back into your diet helps you stay raw otherwise than maybe you will have to do that occasionally or just temporarily to get over the hump. All the best to you!:)

[bodaflower]

Yes yes! Always do what's best for you

My salad dressing is not raw but it gets me to love my salads and eat them often...and it's still just oil and vinegar and blueberries (and a few other things - still whole foods though! :))

or maybe I'll have some cooked almond butter or use some of my toasted carob powder (havent gotten around to ordering raw lately) in a smoothie, because it makes me want the whole entire smoothie!

I think it's worth it to include little cooked things in your diet if it's going to help you enjoy the raw foods that you ARE eating!

And then, one day, you won't need them any more :)

[lafsalot]

Just a suggestion, but have you ever thought about keeping a gratitude journal? Definitely helps to refine one's focus.

When I write out my appreciations every day, I become more in tune throughout the next day - looking for more things to be grateful for. Odd thing is, cool things start to find me.

Why not give it a try for 30 days - see if you don't brighten up a little, and call a few more goodies out into manifestation in your world?! ~ Cathy

[pinkrosebud]

Hi Barose, I have to say I feel you 100%!!! Before August I was 100% since April 2007. Before I went raw people were always commenting on how cheerful and exhuberant I was, about 6 weeks into raw I kept and continued to get comments like "you don't seem like yourself lately", "are you sure you are feeling ok, do you need to talk about something?' This was happening more often then I would like to admitt. I didn't know what was wrong with me, I just knew I was not as happy as I used to be. Also, I must note before raw I was known for my cooking I am a total foodie even though it was always relatively healthy. I love food, and food preperation!!! Then, I went on vacation in mid August and I had to put a little cooked food in my diet and suddenly felt all the depression and agrevation that I have been feeling just melt away. Since my vacation I have allowed my self to eat some steamed veggies, bread, roasted peanut butter, one morning my sweetie and I had a healthy but very cooked breakfast including waffles and yams. Perhaps I have gone overboard because I have unfortunatly gained about 5-8 lbs. But this is all a journey. We have no destination we are simply existing and experimenting. Do what you need to do inorder to take care of yourself. I my self am going to go back to 100% raw for the remainder of Sept to see how my emotions and physical being reacts. Good luck, but please do not be too hard on yourself we all have different needs and desires.

[PammieTaj]

I see this enough to say it might be a trend in transitioning to raw. I'd really like to see some of the long time raw fooders address this issue. I think it's probably part of the detoxification process.

I'm just starting back on raw, but when I went off raw the last time I could say I saw some of this in myself and my attitude about what I was eating and why.

If the green drinks are grossing you out right now, maybe you should make them more fruity than green. You might want to try just mixing it up a bit.

I count my blessings every morning and every night, but it wasn't raw food that led me down that path.

[EZ rider]

The more green juice I make the better I feel. Its the juice of the greens that give me a lift.

[Lavendula]

Have you ever checked out her books? She offers a good plan for working through 5 levels of a raw diet. Though I would not eat some of what she has in the food plans, the concept is good and makes alot of sense. It is hard to jumpin with both feet before learning how to swim.

[burgespj]

Hi, I know exactly how you feel.In june I went on prozac, I was pretty depressed, but for awhile there I felt alot better, but in the last 2 weeks I've beeen feeling my depression coming back on, and I just wanna stay in bed.I use to love going to Barnes&noble and getting a mocha frappicino and just sitting there and reading , but now I cant have that.My friends and I use to go out for coffee and such, now what go and order water.This diet is very isolating.What I do is I either have a raw day, or a Vegan day (such as a boca burger)or I have an off day, which I go totally off.So this is how I am transitioning. I have been off and on for about 3 weeks.It is depressing to have such a limited diet, especially if you live in a small town like me,I'm sure there are alot of raw foodist in California, but not in South dakota.Weight loss isnt worth it, if you are not happy and dont have a social life.I know its better for me, but doctor said this diet is too restricting and most people get sick of it and gain all the weight back.So I am doing my own way, I want to feel happy again.If you have any questions let me know. Pat.

[Lavendula]

I am, and I am having a hard time finding a good balance. I feel good about what I am doing and don't feel in bondage to my food, but I am not experiencing what I thought I would. My reason for raw is detoxing and dealing with 2 autoimmune diseases. I was pretty high raw before, and a whole food fanatic, so I thought this was the answer. I'm not giving up, I don't even desire most cooked food, but I'm not sure how to fine tune it.

[bodaflower]

Just a suggestion, but have you ever thought about keeping a gratitude journal? Definitely helps to refine one's focus.

When I write out my appreciations every day, I become more in tune throughout the next day - looking for more things to be grateful for. Odd thing is, cool things start to find me.

Why not give it a try for 30 days - see if you don't brighten up a little, and call a few more goodies out into manifestation in your world?! ~ Cathy

this is wonderful :)

[Lavendula]

[QUOTE=burgespj;327079]Hi, I know exactly how you feel.In june I went on prozac
Nothing is worth or worse than feeling in bondage to what you eat or don't eat. Whether it is for weight loss or better health. Give yourself some grace, treat yourself to what you are sad about giving up, and slowly find healthy satisfying substitutes, for the foods and drinks you miss. Try one of the roasted beverages like Roma or dandie blend, with soy, rice or almond milk, you really can't tell the difference as an iced drink. I have even taken my own organic coffee and rice milk to the coffe shop, to make my drink. I have been off coffee for a full 16 days after weaning for awhile, I love it but it does bad painful things to my body. Try cleansing and detoxing slowly and purging things from your diet gradually, overcomeing one thing at a time, until you are free from it. Giv yourself some grace.

[Lavendula]

I guess I need posting 101. keep having trouble including a quote, or getting unlogged in.

[bodaflower]

If you click "quote" on a post it will put in the code in a new window. Just make sure to put it in between the [] inside of the code and don't delete anything in the code

[kaybee]

i have been "messing" with raw for the last 2 years. i still havent seen the "amazing health benefits" so many others are experiencing, more just the frustration that my body has become less and less tolerant of cooked food. but if figure if my body is rejecting the cooked food and i usually feel sick when i eat it then it (i.e. cooked) is probably not whats best for me. OVER TIME I have found substitutes for a lot of the cooked things I really liked and I do think eventually your tastes start to change and you start to crave the raw stuff even more than the cooked at times, which is good. But I DO think that for some of us its a process of being "on and off the bandwagon" multiple times and getting just a little further ahead each time maybe. Similarly, about 6 years ago, I was quite ill and didnt know what was wrong with me. I still think it was that I had an ulcer (ULCERS at 23 from stress... ack).. since it was the OTC meds that finally cured it, but in any case, i thought i was going to DIE, i would wake up in the middle of the night and it felt like my stomach was eating itself away and i couldnt make the pain go away. ok my POINT is that when i went to the dr., he decided i had sensitivities to wheat, gluten and alcohol...oh yeah and he said i had candida in my blood so dont eat alot of fruit either.... AND i was already vegan! i was like "WHAT am i going to eat?" and I felt so limited trying to cut out wheat gluten fruit bread etc. i "sort of" stuck with the wheatfree glutenfree vegan diet for a while and then got lax about the wheat and gluten becuase i just felt like there was nothing i could eat, felt so deprived, no cereal, no bread, no pasta, etc . Funny thing is that over the last 5 years or so I have virtually eliminated wheat and gluten from my diet, gradually, in such a way that i didnt really even notice and i dont miss it that much. its just not a part of my diet anymore and its not a big deal. but that was OVER TIME. sometimes when we're faced with radical changes all at once they just seem like too much to handle.... and then when we let them progress slowly over time they take care of themselves with little pain :)

good luck and hang in there, and dont worry about falling off the wagon now and again

kaybee

[garden granny]

I read something a few months back about a vegan, I think it was Mariel Hemmingway, she said she was a vegan for several years but started feeling really tired, etc, just not feeling good, so she started adding fish to her diet, and it made all the difference for her. Now she is feeling great eating veggies mostly and cooked fish. I think she also said she doesn't eat much fruit.

[SharonC]

I read something a few months back about a vegan, I think it was Mariel Hemmingway, she said she was a vegan for several years but started feeling really tired, etc, just not feeling good, so she started adding fish to her diet, and it made all the difference for her. Now she is feeling great eating veggies mostly and cooked fish. I think she also said she doesn't eat much fruit.

I wonder if it was the omega 3 in the fish that she was missing?

[Pommy]

I think it is very important to keep finding pleasure.
If 'healthy' means beating yourself up with obligation, I do believe that anything at 100% is not interesting. The more I allow myself a margin of freedom, the more FUN it becomes to eat very naturally.

Joy IS an option.

[Dj 247]

I think we need to take in the whole picture. I like eating raw foods because it gives me a sense of peace. I eat raw most of the time. I have not made it to 100% raw on a consistant basis(30 days)...yet. I think eating this way makes me feel better about myself and makes me a better person. I treat myself once in a while to a special cooked food or even a coffee. This way I don't get into the I can never have this or that mindset. The trick is not to over treat yourself so often that you go back to unhealthy eating.

[spicyfull]

I wish you only The BEST...................

[sbaker]

i have heard this before from some people, even people who have been raw 100% for a long while, they started adding eggs though, not fish. I prefer not to add anything non-vegan, but from a cruelty/health aspect if i HAD to add something i think that eggs from a farm that has happy chickens, fed vegetarian diets, organic, free range... is possibly the lesser of evils. I grew up with chickens and they CAN be happy and lay eggs, unlike killing a fish or taking a baby calf from its mom for milk.
but anything you are lacking that fish replaces...can be found in other things... i think looking into the omegas is a really good idea, it could be as simple as adding hemp oil to a shake! a fish gets what its got from eating seaweed (at least lower on the chain) so maybe that would be good to add too if you haven't. I love eating dulse out of the bag like chips...so salty and yummy and loaded with minerals. there are so many things out there, i think the trick is adding alternatives to your diet for the things you take away. it could take us years to find that balance, but i think its out there!

[barose]

Thank you everyone for your responses and suggestions. I wont be able to answers everyone's questions for the next few days until I get back home to (cable internet!) due to being on the road and having limited access to WiFi and a moody Blackberry. I am taking a lot of your suggestions to heart in the meantime. More later...

[Lavendula]

Kaybee: I have gone the gamut too, with gluten, ulcer.......stress. I am now dealing with 2 autoimmune diseases. What I eat is so important to me, I have believed more than have my life that food is poison or medicine, and feel raw is the best for me. Dulse.. yes. I'm not 100%, 100% of the time, not sure if I can get it right, as I have alot of food avoidance issues/poison for me. Some fish and poultry and happy goat dairy, but not daily. Eating everything as long as it's raw doesn't work for me, there is a fine line for me.

Sbaker, I really feel the same about eggs, I raised chickens and sold eggs years ago, though not the ideal organic way, mine were happy. Eggs seem to make me sick now and just can't find the happy organic ones.

I know that's off the thread, but it is about why don't I feel great like everyone else says they do.

[The Forager]

I wonder if it was the omega 3 in the fish that she was missing?

I was going to say that. There are vegan omegas out there. Check into flaxseed oil also. Flaxseed is packed with omegas.

[ReneeH]

Barose,

I can so relate to how you feel. At times, I feel that something is missing from my diet too... I've even posted questions about vitamins I felt were missing...

Somehow though, the feeling passes and I'm glad that I didn't abandon my new way of eating. I've been following your posts for some time and see that you have highs and lows, like all of us. I have faith that you will continue to find your way because you have been such an encouragement to me. Please don't give up! ((( BIG HUG )))

[barose]

Again, thank you everyone!

angiecbc - I started taking flax seed oil (again). I took it prior to going raw, but abandoned it when I did go raw.

ReneeH - Its good to know those feelings do pass!

-Yes, I am O+

[StarFire]

sorry you're going thru this barose... You've done such an amazing job on your journey - and you LOOK FABULOUS btw!!

for me what helped was the bvitamins... they really made a difference in my mood, my anger, depression, emotional roller coaster, and my EXTREME SENSITIVITY with everyone and everything... I really felt like I was losing it at times.

dh noticed a HUGE difference when I started supplementing with a Bcomplex and also Biotin. I hope you're feeling better... you're such a sweetie...

http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/tha857f08c.gif

[barose]

Thank you so much Starfire! I've come to the conclusion that I'm not ready to give up supplements yet --no matter how good raw food is.

[Davylp25]

Hmm Hey Barose... Dont give up anything. DO what's best for you requardless of what some of these hippies say... hehe Smile... Just do what feels best for ya. Dont compare, just share the beauty that is you. :D

[barose]

Hmm Hey Barose... Dont give up anything. DO what's best for you requardless of what some of these hippies say... hehe Smile... Just do what feels best for ya. Dont compare, just share the beauty that is you. :D

LOL, your post made me laugh. Thank you. ;)

[sueko]

When I went raw I also gave up all my medications, including my antidepressants. At first I felt the "raw high" that one hears about, and I was so elated that I could give it up. Now, at 100+ days 100% raw, I find many people asking me "what's wrong?" and "are you okay, you don't seem like yourself" and I think I am not. Perhaps the novelty has worn off? Perhaps it takes a while for your changes to manifest emotionally. Perhaps it is a deficiency in nutrients? Perhaps eating raw is making you feel too isolated? There are so many possible factors, I am struggling with this as well. The raw food diet has not turned out to be the panacea all the enthusiasts led me to believe it was, BUT, I feel somewhat better than I did, and I like the way I am eating, so I have continued, and will keep trying some of the things others have suggested, like the B vitamins, the gratitude journal and so on. I encourage you to do the same, just keep trying. I don't think we could be eating any healthier, though, than raw.

[mulch]

about the b vitamins
is that something you get at whole foods?

[cashewy]

protein protein protein protein....and meditation;)

[Zella Juice]

I didn't have time to read everyone response...so if this was mentioned then sorry.

If you ate alot of fish before ...then you might have too much build up of mercury in your system. You craved and liked fish..so you are probably in need of seaweed.

seaweed also takes mercury and heavy metals from your system.

try some dulse blended with soups.

[isabelephant]

Hi Barose,
I'm sorry you are going through this and thankful there are so many good suggestions here and support.
Just wanted to add that although this may be a very very unpopular opinion, if you feel you need fish and/or meat, then maybe you do. Humans can survive as vegans but some perhaps cannot thrive. Although, yes, taking another's life is undoubtedly barbaric, we would not expect a lion to be vegan just because killing is barbaric. That said, if you absolutely do not want to eat meat, it may be that there are other nutritional needs you have that are not being met. Even with raw foods, one diet does not fit all. May I suggest Gabriel Cousen's book: Conscious Eating. There are questionairres to find out what "type" you are and what kinds of raw foods you may need to focus on. For instance I am a person that needs less fruit and more nuts and oils.
Good luck!

[G-Force]

Maybe add some more raw agave syrup to your green smoothies to sweeten them up.

And I concur on the B12 idea -- I just saw a movie about people changing to raw vegan (from vegan) and he really hit a low until he took B12 supplements and then he felt brand new again.

Hang in there and keep writing to the forum as we all can help each other so much.

[rawr]

Didn't read the entire thread...so sorry if this is a repeat...

but maybe try taking an omega 3 fish oil suppliment, which helps with mood elevation/stabilization according to my pdoc.

[PammieTaj]

On the omega-3 front ... I remember reading that we need a balance of Omega-3 and Omega-6 fatty acids in a book "Becoming Vegan" by Brenda Davis and Vesanto Melina. We can get these with a variety of nuts and seeds. The last time I was raw, I was eating a very low fat raw diet. I was consumed by cravings and I got to feeling really low, about 4 weeks in. I wouldn't say fish is the answer, I'd say variety is the answer. If your body says "I need to eat a fistful of pecans", it might do well to listen. (c:

Take time to step outside and get some fresh air and sunshine. If you can't find roses to stop and smell, maybe you can hug a tree or put your bare feet on some nice grass.

[lukster9]

hi Carla:p
I just read this entire thread this morning and it really hits home with me. Yesterday I was on the phone with my sister, who is not anything healthy, and she was making cookies and i though I want cookies, why can't i have cookies. So i went and got a pack you cut and bake and ate the whole pack. God do i remember why i don't eat that anymore. My nose is stuffy, my throat is itchy and i feel bloated.

I do eat cooked food. I try to make extremely healthy choices. If i go to dinner at a restaurant I order baked really health food and enjoy it with no guilt.

I've suffered from sever asthma since i was 2 and depression since i was 14. Last august i tried to commit suicide. I go to thearpy 2x a week and take daily medication.

i've been RAW about 10 weeks sometimes i feel weak and haven't been able to exercise. I find the complicated recipies totaly overwhelming, because of effort and cost of all the ingredients.

Have you been to the doctor? I had 11 terrible thearpist until i found the one i have now who is wonderful. Unfortunately being mentally and physically healthy is a journal, a marathon, not a sprint;)

I constantly ask my thearpyst, can i please have the magic pill?????
I think meditation and gratitude journals are wonderful things, but they don't change the chemicals in your brain. You can pray for cancer to go away, but medical intervention definately helps:D

Life is hard....I think one of the most unfair things in life is that everyone shows us a facade. We hide our unhappiness, our unfulfilledness our general frustration with our families and life. We put on a smile and always answer, "I'm fine, how are you?" Who does this serve? Who does it help? I think sometimes embracing our unhappiness for a short time is good. Take it out, examine it, challenge it. How can we change what we don't acknowledge or understand?

Please, please remember that if you need medication you are one of MILLIONS! It is nothing to be ashamed of, it is not who you are.

[barose]

Hi Missy,

Thank you for sharing with me (us). I have had about 5-6 therapists and 1 support group in the past. I dropped my last therapist because I felt that my state was worse going out than coming in. The group was helpful at first but ultimately made me feel worse. It was a pregnancy/baby loss support group and eventually EVERYONE in the group ended up getting pregnant and having babies. I was naive not to expect that to happen. I left the group long before anyone gave birth. It was too much for me to deal with.

Medication had been suggested for years because I resisted due to the fact that I'm scared to death of the side effects and the dependency factor. I never found anyone (doctor) I could trust; its not like they could say "here, take this pill and see how you feel in a few week." Its a whole deal and there are no guarantees. So besides talk therapy and an attempt of a group, I've been dealing with my various demons on my own hoping that "time will heal". I manage to merely distract myself with work, hobbies, volunteer, food (even healthy food) and the like, but it all boils back to dark hole in my life.

[lukster9]

Carla,
I truly do understand. I understand the concern regarding dependecy on medication. I think what you need to ask yourself is, is being dependent on medication worse than feeling like you don't have a life or control in your life? We are all dependant on many things: food, water, air just to name a few, but we don't percieve them as dependancies because all other humans are dependant on those as well, were as medication is individual.

I am in no way pushing you to make the decision I have made, i'm just telling you without medication I have no life so to me it is like air. Please don't let what people think effect your decision. Not even people on this board. This is YOUR life, you should use as many 'crutches' as it takes.

I'm sending you my love and support. I think for some reason in life, we by ourselves are not enough, we need people to validate who we are and that we have a right to exist. If you do meditate or practice any type of self affermation, try this.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Nelson Mendella

:o

[mulch]

i feel for you and your situation
(everyone i know is getting pregnant no problems):confused:
the nice thing about medication is that it is your choice to take it everyday . i had a friend who was struggling through school, her emotions, and stress and decided to take an anti-depressant. it helped her and after a year she discontinued it. not saying that will happen to you but if you tried just about everything else but meds then i say go for it.
sometimes people think that nature cures everything
it can cure loads of stuff
but medicines have helped thousands of people
emotionally that could not have been cured by eating
healthy food
you can't buy serotonin at whole foods
neurotransmitter imbalances occur and if you have one
meds may be best for you
i hate meds as well
i have crazy cramps that keep me bedbound for about
2 days even with lots of motrin
i decided to substantially increase raw food into my diet
initially because of that
if the raw food diet "cures" me then cool
if not maybe it can help me take less meds
either way it goes
i will continue to use it cause it makes me feel better

my only suggestion is to commit every waking moment of
your life trying to feel better

and thanks for all of your nice posts

[barose]

Thank you for your feedback.

I do have a deep fear of drug dependency because of my own personal history. EVERYONE I've known who have taken anti-depressants became dependent. They cannot stop taking them; when they try, they go back into depression. We're talking about 5-15 years. I know not everyone goes through that, but I have yet met a person who was on them temporary.

[lukster9]

hi again Carla,
i get that, but i'm curious if they are working and you were not having any side effects than why want to go off them?

I take 4 medications a day for my asthma (i know sucks). but with out the meds i die (sucks more:p ) so i deal with it. luckily my Dr has found medications that don't really give me any side effects so i deal.

nobody but you and you dr need know you are on the med. it is nobodies business, even your family. discuss your fears with your Dr. adn don't let other peoples bad experiences determine your choices. If you have a chemical imbalance in your brain and you take a medication that addresses that, it's not a matter of dependency. The medication is adding something you body is missing. We drink water because our bodies don't make it and we need it to survive, but we don't look at it as dependecy. There is this negative association with 'being dependent on medications'. That's a bunch of whooey:eek:

explore your options. do what it takes to enjoy your life:p

big hug:)

[barose]

hi again Carla,
i get that, but i'm curious if they are working and you were not having any side effects than why want to go off them?



Because not everyone wants to be dependent on medications for the rest of their lives. Every medication (for physical problems) I ever took, I took with the view that it was temporary no matter what "they" say, so I always found ways to actively made myself less dependent.

Besides, if I started taking meds before I lost my coverage back in July, I would have almost been over my head trying to pay for it. It was a good thing I ended therapy before that happened (instead of a sudden stop).