How do I manage?

[britaniefaith]

My favorite thing to do is go to Whole Foods Market once a week with my mother, we go to lunch there and then go shopping (it's our mother-daughter bonding day lol) and it's a treat because the market is pretty far from where I live, about an hour or more and we always eat at their hot-bar buffet, where my favorite things to get are sweet potato home-fries, cooked carrots, falafels and other *cooked* veggie things... I've gone there since eating 100% and I just got a raw salad instead and I was so depressed, it made me feel awful that I couldn't eat my favorite cooked meal once a week and I KNOW it's not good but I'm not sure how to associate going to whole foods and having fun WITHOUT eating from the hot-bar buffet... I know it sounds terribly pathetic but it's the one thing I always look forward to lol

Any suggestions on overcoming this? lol

[peacekeeper]

I can't believe how beautiful you look in your pics! How long did it take you to get to your new weight?
I can't offer you any advice on your Whole Foods (I LOVE that store) experience because I am very new to this way of eating and have not yet found the will power to stick to it! Sorry :(

[justinesmith]

The ONLY thing that has helped me is to focus on what I can have rather than on what I can't. It is such a mind game and I used to lose ~ A LOT! :o We also have a sunday ritual of going to Whole Foods and then going to our FAVORITE mexican restaurant. I got my salad yeaterday and HATED every bite of it as I watched my hubby eat his bean burrito. I did congratulate myself later though and my body was thankful as well. If our path were easy, it would just be called "the way". Take care Britanyfaith you are an amazing inspiration! :)

[Shell]

I know for me, being relatively new to raw (and recently slipping up!), I can't yet go into the places that housed my cooked food addictions. Is it possible for you and your mom to go to lunch somewhere else first? Like a restaurant that doesn't have any emotional ties for you? At least that way when you get your salad (or whatever), you won't know what anything else tastes like, and you won't feel so bad for "missing out"! Then you can go to Whole Foods and shop without having that feeling of deprivation. I don't know, I think that's what I would do. You still get the bonding experience (I have the same type of ritual with my grams), and you also get the feeling of satisfaction of knowing you're still on track! Best of Luck!

[ShelShel]

Personally, the only way I can go out is to bring my own food with me. Sure, I buy a salad because that is usually the only raw thing on the menu here, but they out of my purse I pull raw goodies. :) Nuts, dessert and usually some type of fruit salad. I also make my own dressing so that no matter what type of salad I end up with, I just love the flavor. If you are enjoying your food it won't matter what you are missing.
Maybe this would be a good day to make sure you prepare something. Part of your fun would be making what you are going to have for lunch...the prep could be fun.
I definitely agree that it's focusing on what you get instead of what you can't have.

[barose]

You post cracked me up because I totally understand what you mean. Its been over 2 years since I stopped eating gluten and I still get down when I go to Whole Foods and see the spring rolls cookies and crap. We only go when its late and all the health food stores are closed (our WFs closes at 10:00PM)

Whats helped me is thinking about how I would feel if I indulged in cooked food. Sometimes we bring something with us: if we are running errands and know we will want to eat at WFs later for a quick snack. We bring salad dressings (because we cant eat what they have), crackers and whatnot with us in the car. I also pick up whatever else I want in my salad from the produce or bulk section just as avocados and nuts so it wont be such a dry salad experience. Does your WFs have a RAW food section? I love to focus on that [small] section myself and stock up on goodies.

[EZ rider]

Now this may be bad advise so you need to take it with a grain of salt and probably most of the rest of the board will disagree with me but here goes. I don't think an occasional detour is going to hurt much as long as your comitment is high and you know that you are going to remain on course. Relax and enjoy yourself and your meal at Whole Foods. When your body is ready it will signal that its ready for a raw food choice. One of these days you will get ready to order and you will look at the raw choices available and you will want the raw food rather then the cooked food. This is a process so give your body a chance to adjust and change. I hope I don't get thrown off the forum for this post. :)

[Rawkinlocs]

EZ rider, you're not gonna get thrown off for your post however, because we are a raw food support board, I think it may have been better had you privately written her with this advice.

There have been times when I've had suggestions for people that I KNEW were not in accordance with this forum and so, rather than post it here, I'd email them privately with my comments. So, just keep that in mind next time as we do not want to actually condone cooked food here on this forum. Thanks!

[ShelShel]

We won't throw you off the board. :p Silly...but it's so hard to hear that when you are weak...and needing encouragement.
Also, if you actually ordered that cooked food, I bet after a while you would notice that it's not as tasty and seems a bit lifeless. It sets heavier in the stomache after you've been raw for any length of time.
What you really enjoy is all that one on one time with your mom. Try focusing on that and enjoying the experience more than focusing on the food involved.

[currious]

You look absolutely fantastic in your B&A, congratulations! I am very very new to the raw food diet, but i can seriously appreciate your dilemma. i had to stop eating anything with gluten, dairy and then soy in it which basically eliminated eating out. my fiancé, being the sweet heart that he is :D completely supports me with my diet decisions, so he as well cut those out of his diet. recently he decided to eat a slice or two of pizza, and oh lordy he was sick for days :( , but that type of reaction is person specific(keeps me from cheating though lol). i do think ez rider has a point though, so i wish you the best of luck and just keep in mind what it may or may not do to your body :D

[RawCutter]

you are not going to whole foods to get the hot bar, you are going to whole foods to be with your mom. its not the food that should be making you happy, its the spending time with someone you love.

[barose]

She didnt say she was not happy being with her mother. The food is a totally separate issue.

[dreamrawalwz]

I think it's the bonding time with your mother you enjoy and her company, not the hot bar itself. If you can break that association and just enjoy the time more, that's what I think you should strive for. I agree though that their salad bar isn't great. It has many steamed items on it too. Maybe buy some raw nuts/seeds/other items from there and then eat them with the salad? Or bring some of your own items like dressing or something.

[exurb]

In addition to having the salad or whatever fabulous fruit salad they have... let your mother treat you to a nice shop of all raw goodies that Whole Foods sells. Buy some amazing fruits and vegetables you've never tried, some nice raw nuts, some Whole Foods stores sell raw crackers or a raw item or two, let her treat you to some expensive provisions like virgin coconut oil, olives, raw hemp nuts, whatever they sell at the whole foods near you. Maybe even have a plan of a nice treat/meal you would like to uncook at a later time, and get the provisions for that.

I rarely get in to the city, it's a treat to go to the whole foods and fill the cart just from their produce department alone.

[britaniefaith]

You post cracked me up because I totally understand what you mean. Its been over 2 years since I stopped eating gluten and I still get down when I go to Whole Foods and see the spring rolls cookies and crap. We only go when its late and all the health food stores are closed (our WFs closes at 10:00PM)

Whats helped me is thinking about how I would feel if I indulged in cooked food. Sometimes we bring something with us: if we are running errands and know we will want to eat at WFs later for a quick snack. We bring salad dressings (because we cant eat what they have), crackers and whatnot with us in the car. I also pick up whatever else I want in my salad from the produce or bulk section just as avocados and nuts so it wont be such a dry salad experience. Does your WFs have a RAW food section? I love to focus on that [small] section myself and stock up on goodies.

The problem with me is that I don't feel any negative effects after eating cooked veggies... EVER. Unless I indulge in too many cooked sweets (potato chips, candies) or tofu, I feel sick but other than that I never feel bad from cooked veggies so it makes it ALOT harder to break away from them because I haven't yet lost the desire for the taste and how much more satisfied I feel after eating them :(

yes my whole foods has a raw section but I tend to over-due it on the raw goodies and always binge... it seems I can never just have a LITTLE bit, I have to have ALL of it lol

[britaniefaith]

you are not going to whole foods to get the hot bar, you are going to whole foods to be with your mom. its not the food that should be making you happy, its the spending time with someone you love.

I spend time with my mother all the time and it does make me happy but to be honest, FOOD makes me happy too and my point is that I am going to whole foods because of how much I love their food and if that makes me pathetic well then I guess I am...

[dreamrawalwz]

I spend time with my mother all the time and it does make me happy but to be honest, FOOD makes me happy too and my point is that I am going to whole foods because of how much I love their food and if that makes me pathetic well then I guess I am...

No no hun, not pathetic...human. We ALL have or have had those foods we just love that aren't raw and are hard to let go of. You are NOT alone in that!

[EZ rider]

we do not want to actually condone cooked food here on this forum.I understand and appreciate that idea. Let me explain my thinking, not to argue but just for the sake of illumination. I totally agree with the idea of watching out for that first bite of cooked food as a person could easily fall off the raw food lifestyle right there. Thats why I said if your comitment is high and you know you are going to remain on course. I think the difference between someone being able to make a slight detour once in a weeks time whose comitment is on solid footing and someone who is white knuckeling every bite they take is going to determine the outcome of a "one of" detour. I guess its better not to risk falling on ones face but at the same time I think that a little flexability could keep a person from saying to themselves "this is too hard" and giving up. I guess each situation is different and depends on the person, their comitment, and if flexability would help or hurt that person. That said, I agree with you that a personal message rather then a board post would have been a better choice for communication. I really like this forum and this is the first post where I feel out of step with the group in 338 posts since July 24th.

[RawCutter]

She didnt say she was not happy being with her mother. The food is a totally separate issue.

but she was depressed because she cant eat hot food and it shouldn't matter whether its hot, cold, raw or out of a f'n dumpster. happiness in not on the plate in front of you. look up for god sake. look around you.

do i enjoy food? sure but its because i have memories of friends and family surrounding it. I have great conversations over it. I learn things from others around it. I get to see the world because of it.

food has so much power over us because we give it the power. its only an issue because we allow it to be an issue.

[KristensRaw]

My Whole Foods in Arizona is great about listening to their customers' requests. If you haven't already, email them (through their website) AND write on their comment board that you want more RAW FOOD choices in the deli section. Give them suggestions, too!

In the meantime...

I can empathize. I have such fond memories of time with my mom when grocery shopping, too! If you want to stay Raw during these visits, then I'd recommend eating fruit before you get there which will most likely curb any desire for anything, eat the Raw dish they do offer (or salad bar). It's not warm food, but it's Raw.

I also like what EZRider has to say. Sometimes it's not worth the "stress" you're feeling by cutting something out. If you're strong with Raw 85-90% of the time, then that's great! Enjoy the time with your mom and don't beat yourself up with only eating Raw. If you're not ready for it, then you're not ready for it. Take your time, so that you enjoy the journey.

Here is another Great Idea: Reduce the amount of cooked, slowly over time. So, next time you see her, get less cooked and more Raw (salad or whatever they have there that's fresh and Raw - WITHOUT resorting to fattening Raw packaged bars). Then the next time, do even less. As the week's go by and you gradually do this, you're satisfying your soul slowly and it's not such a shock to suddenly not have those experiences of warm food.

My other advice is this: If you want to stay Raw and being at Whole Foods is too hard, then find another fabulous place to meet with your mom. Create new memories for the new Raw you :)

Hope this helps. Feel free to email me if you have other questions.

[britaniefaith]

but she was depressed because she cant eat hot food and it shouldn't matter whether its hot, cold, raw or out of a f'n dumpster. happiness in not on the plate in front of you. look up for god sake. look around you.

do i enjoy food? sure but its because i have memories of friends and family surrounding it. I have great conversations over it. I learn things from others around it. I get to see the world because of it.

food has so much power over us because we give it the power. its only an issue because we allow it to be an issue.

Your saying how YOU enjoy food but you don't let it consume you, that's wonderful but I AM ME and I've had eating disorder issues for YEARS. food has been an obsession of mine for a long time and I've yet to have a healthy relationship with it so I don't really think it's fair to really attack me about how I feel regarding food when really it has nothing to do with your relationship with food at all. We are all different and just to make this clear... just because food has alot of power of me does not mean that I don't have memories with family or enjoy my loved ones....

[barose]

I can see both sides of the issue. Having had similar ED struggles for years from extreme obsessing about food, eating for comfort, binging and purging to just plain purging. Food isn't as cut and dry as it is for you RC. In an ideal world, how we think about food and eating wouldn't be as intense especially if you have a history of ED. Its one of those demons that can take years to heal.

[juliebove]

Don't let the food control you. I've had to get over this myself.

When I was first diagnosed with diabetes, I refused to go to the movies. Why? I couldn't eat the popcorn and I didn't want to sit there while everyone around me was munching on what I could no longer eat. Now granted, I'm not much of a movie person to begin with. I'd go on occasion with friends or family or my husband and tell myself it wasn't all bad. At least I'd have popcorn! :D

Then I had my daughter. I couldn't keep her out of theaters forever. She discovered movies and she liked them! So I went with her and if I felt the need to eat something while in there, I would sneak in a bag of sliced celery in my purse. Nobody questioned me because I was eating something crunchy and about the same size pieces of popcorn.

Then there was the Mexican food. My favorite! I learned how to make suitable things at home, but the restaurants were too much of a temptation because I could no longer eat the bean burritos I so loved.

But then we moved back to WA and I could get a suitable salad at one Mexican restaurant. I ventured out and went there. Until they closed. And then no more. But I still wanted Mexican food. So I had to take a long hard look at menus and figure out what I *could* eat from there, even if it wasn't listed on the menu. If they refused to make it for me or simply didn't have suitable fare, then I wouldn't go there again. Luckily that hasn't been the case.

Then the food allergies cropped up. I can no longer eat dairy, eggs or almonds. Now you wouldn't think almonds would be a problem. But how many things are almonds in on a raw diet? A heck of a lot. That means I can't eat a lot of pre-made things because there are almonds in there.

My daughter has food allergies too. Occasionally she and I will pine over how we wish we could have something we used to have. Like macaroni and cheese. But then we quickly remember how sick we will get if we were to do that and we put it right out of our minds.

We don't have a Whole Foods near us, but there is a Central Market. They have assorted food bars, including soup, salad and cold foods. We frequently get food from there. Instead of going down the line and getting upset about what we can't eat, we point out all the things we *can* eat and get excited whenever they have something new.

[cashewy]

either way....food=emotions or freedom from emotions...this problem seems to have a very practical solution as you are in Whole Foods where half of the store is a buffet for raw foodists.

if I am there for at meal time, i tend to stay away from the prepared food all together and go straight to the food I would typically eat, purchase it and then sit down and eat

the last time I was there my girlfriend had hot soup etc...i went and got a jar of my favorite live kraut ate that and then had two red bell pepps and some cashews for something sweet...all of my raw favorites

then we went back and did our shopping

I agree with rawcutter though, we have all of the freedom and power to be true to our highest self at every moment. change your focus and drop it...but darlin I feel ya, addiction is a beyach

[rawstrawberry]

I know how tough that can be! This may not work for you at all but why not start a new tradition at a restaurant you know has a salad or whatever that you love and than head to the mall for some clothes shopping or the spa even better for mom and daughter mani/pedis??

RS