Significant others...

[mel_s12]

I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I love him so much.. but his only downfall: he just does not understand raw food. I must admit, when we started living together a huge part of our relationship was built around cooking dinner. Since studying nutrition and learning about raw food, I have adopted this lifestyle and am trying to be 100%. My only obstacles are my job (flight attendant) and my boyfriend. He just does not understand. He is frustrated that I don't cook anymore. And he keeps telling me that I need to eat meat. As much as I try to explain and try to get him to read my books (China Study, Diet for a New America), nothing works. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like crying.. :( Yesterday he bought milk and claims it will be his new after-workout drink.. BLAHHHH
Help..

[StarFire]

Sometimes all the talking in the world won't help.... and sometimes the best way to reach someone - is simply and calmly ... being the example. Not saying a thing about your raw foods... just consuming them, and he will begin to notice the changes in you... and he will notice the glow and then he will begin to ask questions! If you love him, you can agree to disagree... don't stress what he's eating - he's a big boy and he'll figure it out! ;) :D

[cashewy]

I totally agree with star fire that you will both be a lot more at peace if you can respect his free will a little bit more. Opposition to something always means we are referencing our own ego....especially when it generates so much negative emotional states. Get whole within yourself and then contemplate the situation...I think it will be a lot less stressful.

Put simply...the only way we can suffer is when we are thinking about ourselves. I discovered this magic formula last winter. apply it to any situation and see what happens

[Revvell]

I'll 3rd what's been said.

When Bo and I first met all the time we spent together I was eating raw and he went along with it. We'd get up early in the a.m. and go walking every day. Everything seemed to be in tune.

Fast forward to marrying and him coming here to live. I get up between 5-6 a.m.; he gets up between 7 and 8. I eat raw he eats pizza, salmon, cheese, etc. He recently brought a toaster, eggs, etc. into our home. What to do? I focus on appreciating him, as he is, my partner, my best friend, my lover, etc. (See the appreciation thread). IF/when he feels to enjoy my lifestyle, he will. In the meantime, he supports me in what I do; I support him in what he does and all is peaceful.

Revvellicious

[Judy]

You'd love it if he would support or at least accept your way of eating, right? But you have to accept his way of eating and living too. Even if he wants to drink milk all his life :eek:, everyone is free to make his or her own (food) choices. He may 'see the raw light', or he may never will, but that's not the point.
Keep in mind what wonderful things you dó have in common, and that this, what someone eats, isn't really important enough to destroy a relationship, especially if it's a good and loving one. If there are other issues playing, you may have to look into that, but if it's only the food thing and the expectations you have, and you still love to be with your guy, and he with you, I'm sure you'll find a way to work through it. Communicate with each other, not about food, but about your feelings, about what you want from each other and how you can support each other. Remember what you love about each other. I think acceptance is key.

[Judy]

Oh, yeah, my dh isn't raw either. He isn't into food stuff or health like the way I am, and has never been. We each have our very own and distinctive way of eating and doing things and living. But hey, there's that love and he's just GREAT company :).

[mel_s12]

Thank you everyone for the quick responses.
I like that approach of just staying quiet and enjoying my lifestyle until he comes around. It's just difficult to read about how terrible some food is and then watch him eat it, thinking it is good for him. I want to grow old with him.
But you are all right. I need to focus on my own raw-ness and get even more benefits so he sees how great it is to live like this.
Thanks again!

[Turbolift]

Well here's my problem.. DH isn't content to let me do my thing and let him do his.. Since he does the bulk of the cooking, he gets mad when I don't want to eat his cooked meal at night! He'll drink the breakfast smoothies with me and will even pack me a raw lunch. It's just that he wants to me eat a cooked supper!

I've already forewarned him that when we move (in about a month), I want to try to go 100% for 30 days.

[tanishamarshall]

I'll 3rd what's been said.

When Bo and I first met all the time we spent together I was eating raw and he went along with it. We'd get up early in the a.m. and go walking every day. Everything seemed to be in tune.

Fast forward to marrying and him coming here to live. I get up between 5-6 a.m.; he gets up between 7 and 8. I eat raw he eats pizza, salmon, cheese, etc. He recently brought a toaster, eggs, etc. into our home. What to do? I focus on appreciating him, as he is, my partner, my best friend, my lover, etc. (See the appreciation thread). IF/when he feels to enjoy my lifestyle, he will. In the meantime, he supports me in what I do; I support him in what he does and all is peaceful.

Revvellicious


I totally agree with Revvell, you should probably support him in what he does and continue to do what you do, you can't change him but you can be a good example. My husband now eats a large portion of his food Raw but has had meat on and off but I don't fret over it, I figure he will change in his time. Hopefully by enjoying your way of eating he might get a little bit interested and want to star trying it out.

[lycheenut]

I think it's important to not lecture him. Even though you love him and want the best for him, it might be best not to comment on what he's eating and telling him how bad it is. I know for me, as soon as someone points out something I'm doing i shouldn't be, it makes me want to do it more...Much like raw. If someone thinks i'm from Saturn for eating this way, it reaffirms why I want to.
My bf thought I was nuts when I got into this, but he humoured me. He even took on a 100 dollar bet that he could go raw for a week. At the end of the week, he understood what it was all about and is eating a lot more raw than he normally would have. Although he has gone back to his old habits, he's totally understanding of what I'm doing.
Maybe you could do that with him? Or prepare meals for the both of you. Often, when my bf and I eat together, he'll have some of my salad with his whatever-it-is he's having and I'll have the salad too. And if he's working, I'll make him a smoothie with lots of stuff in it. I love him to bits, and every bit of nourishment helps.