Confession Time - I need support too yall!

[Rawkinlocs]

Okay, so I'm one of the moderators here right? You'd THINK that I could at LEAST do a decent 30 day challenge right? WRONG!

I have been on this forum for what...almost a year now and I have YET to complete a full 30 days of raw with no cheats. I'm getting fed up with it too...fed up with myself and my cravings and my lack of will power to just say NO!

I don't beat myself up when I do it, but heck...maybe I need to. Maybe I need for YOU all to kick my rear a bit. I mean, I KNOW better. I KNOW what this stuff does to my precious body/temple and I KNOW that the stuff I've been eating is crap, garbage, not fit for human consumption. But I LOVE the taste of it - hate how I feel immediately afterwards, but love the "right then" moment of eating it.

I've been SO bad this past month or so. I mean (and I'm gonna just lay it all out on the line for accountability), I've eaten chips, candy, cookies, donuts, Twinkies, honey buns, pizza, MC FREAKIN' DONALDS, White Castles...just gone BUCK wild!

I will do GREAT for a while and then BLAMO!! I get hit with major cravings and apparently, my family does too. So we indulge...OVER-indulge.

But I don't want to keep on this way. I know it's been said that it's part of the process, but I'm ready to move past this stage of the game.

I don't really know if I'm asking for help or if I'm just getting this out because I think part of my problem is, I'm keeping all this to myself and not reaching out. I mean, I have my good buddy Sweetlips and she and I talk on a regular to keep one another motivated. But sometimes even SHE doesn't get wind of what's going on over here.

So...I wrote in my journal tonight that starting tomorrow, I'd like to begin the 30-day challenge. I'd like to experience what so many of you beautiful people have experienced - to be all raw for 30 days. That's all I ask. I WANT this to be for life, but I would like to, for now, just remain committed for 30 darn days. Can I do that? I sure hope so!

Thanks for listening...felt good to get that out!

Love and hugs,

Cherie

[Pailani]

Good luck, you can do it!

[growinhealth]

Dear Rawkinloks...ever since I first entered this forum you have completely inspired me in how I truly desire to be raw in my life, I believe for me my cravings and weaknesses are due to a weakness in my spiritual state with the Father. I have realized this over the last couple months, this struggle of continuous binging and purging, that I have strived with almost on a daily basis for two years now, is a result of where I am in my walk with Christ...anyway I just wanted to let you know that you have inspired me, because you are real, and that is what this world needs transparent people who are willing to convey their failings to the world and receive encouragement as well as grace. The Father gives grace to the humble and strength to the weak! though you are weak in this area you will be made strong! I am in the same boat as you, and this last week at being raw, or at least trying to I realize it is more than just eating fruit and vegetables it is a way to live and enjoy other things (speaking from the advice from my raw foodie friend joy) rather than "in the heat of the moment" with that oh so precious donut I desire or that latte. Anyway I don't know if any of it makes sense, but you are still my raw hero! I am rooting for ya!

[VeganVixen]

wow rawkinlocs,you are SO brave and strong to confess to that

:::::: cheers for you :) ::::::::

If you are that strong then you MUST be strong enough to beat the cooked food monster!!!!

Autumn had an idea in her journal:

how about you write down how you feel sad

like

bloatish
migraines
dull skin tone
feels/looks tired

ect........

keep it in your head and the paper on hand ,hope this helps you!

[Rawkinlocs]

Pailani - thank you dear, I appreciate it!

Growinhealth - GIRL...I got teary from that. I can't even express how touched I was by your post - THANK you! Wow!

VeganVixen - thank you for sharing Autumn's idea with me...sometimes I DO try to do that, but sometimes I just don't even think before I'm putting something to my lips! I also appreciate you writing me privately and love what you sent to me. Yeah, it wasn't so much bravery as it was just feeling like it was about time I reached out and let my raw family know that I, too, am struggling with this thing.

I mean, I LOVE eating raw...but I allow myself to get caught up into some situations. Someone will have something and rather than just being able to say, "No thank you", I'll have to have a taste and that one little taste always leads to more.

I wish it were just about a baked potato, but from my post, you can clearly see it's not about anything healthy-cooked! LOL!

And with me, it doesn't last for days or I don't go on a binge. Like for example, I went out with a friend of mine earlier in the week. We ended up at McDonalds of all places. I wasn't even hungry, but I gave in to the smells. I got an INSTANT headache after eating it! But later that day, everything I ate was raw. It's like, I'll eat all raw, then eat something junky, then return to raw. So, thankfully, it doesn't lead me to going on the prowl for more and more and more as it used to...so perhaps I HAVE grown a little bit...but want to grow further beyond where these things don't even bother me...to see it, smell it...won't effect me in the least. That's where I want to be.

I thought about deleting my initial post so many times because it's just rather embarrassing - the things I listed that I've partaken of. But I won't delete it because I want people to know and hopefully, it will be a help to someone in some way, especially once I get past all of this.

Thanks again for the support and the reassurance! I'm gonna DO this!

[Revvell]

Hiya Cherie,

Yanno, one of the things I learned during my apprenticeship was ~ one must reveal to heal. As you said, keeping it all in was hurting you ~ probably even more than the stuff you are eating.

You know you are an inspiration to so many here? That you are willing to do that; to show your "weaknesses"; to just be human? You have my admiration!

As you said last night when we talked, no, I don't get the urges as many do yet, it's taken me approx. 5 years to get here ~ and, I've been veggie for 18+ years so, for those who are going from a SAD to RAW ~ cold tofurky as it were ~ it's got to be tough!!!

So! Don't be tough on yourself! You as so many are ~ are doing well! I'm thinking, for most, it's an upper limits question. I think many need to ask themselves, how is it I think eating poison (Twinkies? lmao) is good for me? (I know you don't "think" that yet, some PART of you does!) How is it I think I can NEVER have this stuff again? (KNOW you CAN have it any time you want yet choose not to!)

You know what I find funny about so many mothers? (Talking in general here). They give their children poisons ~ in the form of candy, soda, ice cream ~ and call them treats. No wonder folk have a hard time not eating that stuff. When I was growing up, we rarely got it. My mother couldn't hardly get me to eat meat. So yes, for me it's not been as difficult. IF you can not indulge for 30 full days and THEN eat a Twinkie, I mean, consciously "try" to eat it ~ take one bite, savor it ~ see if it still tastes good to you. My downfall was Butterfingers. I didn't eat any for 6 weeks or so then tried one. I ate half, tossed the rest. Wondered what I found so wonderful in them.

You have my best wishes in your endeavors. Just know, you deserve to have the best quality food for your body. How do I know this? You're alive, aren't you? :)

Injoy ~

Revvell

[PixieGreen]

Cherie, you certainly have the strength and motivation to experience the 30 day challenge. Why else would you invest so much of your time on the board learning and supporting others? I think this is a sign of your intention to succeed. But *something* is getting in the way. Maybe it would be helpful to break down the 30 days into something more manageable. Like 24 hours. Even 15 minutes.

This is what I do when I want something that isn't good for me, whether it's cooked food, alcohol, or spending money on something when I have cash in my pocket but rent is coming up. I'm too darn impatient to wait 30 days, or a week, even. I tell myself "we" [my ego and I] can talk about it in 15 minutes. Until then I distract myself with carrots or making raw cookie dough or taking a shower. [I love taking showers!].

Many times I'll forget to have that conversation with myself, my little ADD brain finds something else to amuse itself with. When it does come back, I acknowledge it again and I'll offer my ego another healthy treat with another promise to discuss it again in 15 minutes. But usually whatever tempted me in the first place is only in my face for a few minutes [passing the bakery aisle at the grocery store, in the car while a friend goes through the Taco Bell drive thru, etc]. It's just those few crucial minutes I have to get myself through.

It helps to identify what triggers cravings, whether it's a smell, tv commercials, time of day, people, time-of-the-month, whatever. If you know what brings them on you can prepare a battle plan. :)

Christa

[Amethyst_Rain]

aaaaaawwwwwww Cherie, i feel ya...it is hard hey? I've been doing bad lately, too...but you know we can do it....we just have to be strong, and like Revvell said, we choose not to eat it...just think we have to iradicate a whole life of brainwashing, and at the same time deal with the people around us that discredit this "diet" and tell us that we're the ones who are brainwashed....and also, everywhere we look we get bombarded with "food" advertisements on TV, in magazines, on the radio, on billboards, even on the bus it's everywhere...we just gotta be strong :)

[khackett]

Hey, Rawkin?

D'ya want to go in it with me? We can exchange e-mails and keep each other on track. I'm having a hard time starting (it's at night where I get lost a bit) and I'd LOVE to have some extra support from you & give a little too!!!

[swingbolder]

Hey Rawkinlocks, I firmly agree with this principle:

>>one must reveal to heal<<

Even though I have trouble implementing this in my own life! I think it's very cool and brave and positive of you to share with us like you did. And I think it's going to help you get back on track too.

Anyhow, I have no advice, except to say that I remember when I was quitting smoking how I read that statistically, each time someone tries to quit, but then goes back to smoking, it brings them that much closer to ultimately quitting for good. In other words, the more attempts you make, the closer you get to reaching your goal. And backsliding is an essential part of the process. It's how you learn to say "no" finally for good.

If you think it would be helpful, I'd love to start the challenge with you tomorrow or whenever you want to start. I haven't done 30 days consecutively yet either. PM me if you'd be into that.

One thing that's helped me is, after doing my morning meditation, to ask God for the strength to stay raw for the day. This has helped me tremendously and I feel Jesus helps me, cause he knows how sick I was when I was eating cooked. He's the great healer after all (I'm only talking like this cause you're Christian too and won't be offended by it). :)

[swingbolder]

The other thing that helped me when I was quitting smoking was to write down, each day for a month, 3 reasons why I wanted to quit smoking. It sounds hard, like you'd run out of reasons, but you'd be surprised at what the brain/heart can come up with. Looking over the list after several days of keeping it turns out to be a great motivator. Maybe, if there are several of us starting the challenge, we could start a thread and share our reasons.

[sweetgoddess]

Cherie, I am sitting here in tears after reading this thread. I understand completely. I have no answers for you, because I still struggle also.
A few days ago, I decided to have a cup of coffee.(organic half and half, white sugar...ooo)..i have no idea why because I was always a tea drinker..and that turned into many coffees.
I had been doing wonderfully on raw recently so why would I ? My husband was having some, and so I did too.
"cheating " ( cheating myself really) if you want to call it that, seems to happen in waves and sometimes I am able to ride them out, somtimes I am not.
I have been so upset and angry with myself the last couple days that I stop ed talking to my husband even.
Then this morning I come on here and read this and that anger broke--thank you so much for sharing so honestly.
I am starting a new 30 day challenge today, no slip-ups or cheats with you my friend.
So, you are not alone in this. Hats off to you for reaching out, I know how difficult that can be.
Hugs and Cheers to a New Day....Day 1 of Our 30 Day Challenge!!

[sara]

Wow, I am so new at this that I feel a little silly giving you advice. What I will say is that I am so so grateful to you for being so honest and putting yourself out there. It helps me to understand myself and the struggles I am having already. You are not a failure! You are an inspiration!!!!!

[angelandarose]

Hi Cherie,

I'm in your boat GF! I've been meaning to spill my own confession. Yesterday the kids wanted Sonic... I said, oh one meal can't hurt. I was so sick after eating there, headaches, moody and grouchy. :( I started my first 30day challenge on the first of this month and this whole week has been horrible with cheating. :( It’s been cold, my heat is out and eating cold foods wasn’t appealing to me when everyone around me was eating HOT bowls of stew. I really need a dehydrator for some warm feeling food. ;)

BUT Today is a new fresh day, I feel good, I feel like getting back on the wagon and staying.

Just know I hear you. We can do this! As of today I'm recommiting to a new 30day challenge!

Love,
Angie

[misslinda]

I've been SO bad this past month or so. I mean (and I'm gonna just lay it all out on the line for accountability), I've eaten chips, candy, cookies, donuts, Twinkies, honey buns, pizza, MC FREAKIN' DONALDS, White Castles...just gone BUCK wild!

------------------------------------------------------------------

Cherie !!!!

Wow, you're actually more steps ahead than you can imagine. Taking "accountability" really shows your inner desire to "follow the yellow brick road." It's awesome that you got to the point that you can share these intimate feelings and experiences with us as many of us if not all have done the same thing--if everyone only knew the things I ate and HOW I ate them, would SCARE you! :eek:

You're going to make it and you will BE stronger the next loop b/c your only direction is forward and upward !!!!! :) :) :) Besides Cherie, aren't we gonna do the commercial that Alissa was talkin about??? ;)

BTW, honey buns? If they're are like cinnabons, one of my weaknesses.


Lots of Luv and Time,
Linda :)

[Rawkinlocs]

I

AM

TOTALLY

UTTERLY

OVERWHELMED

AND

OVERJOYED

with the amount of love and support I feel from this thread. My GOSH!!! You people really know how to make a girl cry!

THANK you all so very much, from the bottom of my heart for all the kind words and expressions you have shared with me.

I want to respond individually to everything that was said, but I cannot right now...too emotional and again, just overwhelmed.

Just know that I love and appreciate you all and I thank you for being here.

To Kate and Swingbolder, I'd love to be 30-day buddies with you, but to be honest, I really don't even now HOW to do that or what that entails. I mean, if we're all just doing the challenge at the same time, I can relate to that. But I really don't know what else to do beyond that. Do we check on each other to see how the other is doing or do we write to each other when the moments of temptation arise BEFORE yielding to it?

I like the idea of writing down 3 reasons each day for a month, thanks for that idea! I also like the idea of setting shorter term goals as suggested by PixieGreen. But I'm gonna go for the gusto...for 30 days. It's gonna be challenging I know (guess that's why it's called a challenge, huh? :rolleyes: ) but I feel I can do it, especially with the love and support of all of you!

Thanks again - love and hugs

Cherie

[DennisMB]

Wow Rawkinlocs
I didn’t think you would ever cheat. You are such a rock! I bet you feel like you have the weight of the world off your chest by telling us that. Me personally, I never judge, not you, not my kids, no one! It’s neither my place nor any one else’s. Our judgment will come one day and by no one on this earth. I still look up to you and I feel like you have made yourself a better person by sharing with us. That had to be tough and I admire you for that. You are still an inspiration to us and I look forward to your post and the results of your 30 day challenge! Rock on girl!

Now as far as McDonalds go, those dang McD fries kill me! They are my nemesis! And for that reason, I don’t even take my kids there any more. I know I will say, I will be good, take the kids, let them eat and leave. What will happen next is, just one fry, then okay, what the heck, two isn’t that bad either, until next thing I know my kid is saying, Dad where are my fries? That is exactly why when Alissa said clean out your fridge and cupboards of all dead food, that's exactly what I did. If its there, its just too much temptation.

Anyway, best of luck Rawkinlocs and I look forward to reading your journal!

[catherinethegreat]

You are an amazing woman!!! Thanks for being so honest and open not only has it brought you more support but look at how many people you've touched with your honesty! It's amazing.

I was thinking when you wrote about my current state of mind. Ever since I went to the doctor yesterday I've been craving cooked foods even more.
We are having out first dinner party tomorrow ( A BBQ! ) so last night Jerry and I shopped for some of the food. CHIPS, HAMBURGER, CHEESE, all the things I really am craving right now.
I told him I was considering eating it at the BBQ. Even though we have raw food being made and delivered to us so that I have yummy raw food to eat.
I want the hamburger. Period. ( oh with oozing cheese! )

I started to wonder if maybe
1. I feel deprived - and if so maybe I need to have a little talk with myself about that because this isn't about deprivation. It's about love ( and from what I understand God is Love )
2. Maybe my body NEEDS something that I am not feeding it with the raw foods....some type of minerals that I'm lacking that creates the cravings for something my mind thinks will help.

Honestly I don't know how I'm going to get threw the BBQ without indulging in a steak. The smell of a BBQ is so so good!

As I write this down I'm also thinking about you and your family - and how all of you start to binge. Sounds more like you are treating it like a diet / deprivation so of course you will swing way over to the other side
All or nothing. I'm the same way. I HAD to make it fun and amazing and change it up a lot. I had to write down the ailments I'm trying to cure. I had to read 12 steps to raw and that sealed the deal for me a while back ( maybe it's time to read it again before the BBQ!!!!! )

I'm not sure I will make it tomorrow or not. But I'm glad that you shared because it helps me to understand that this isn't something I have to white knuckle alone

love to you
*c

[Rawkinlocs]

Dennis...LOL! You obviously had never read my journal if you thought that I'd never cheated! :p But thank you so much for your kind words and sentiments...I really appreciate that. And YES, those MickyD's fries are awful monsters of temptation!! I know just what you mean about the "maybe just one" and then that one leading to the whole thing! :D

Catherine...honey...you're gonna host a barbeque? I DEFINITELY feel for you at this time. Wow! That reminds me of Thanksgiving last year. I had prepared all this raw food - pie, mock turkey, greens, cranberry sauce, etc. I ate some before we headed out to my inlaws' for dinner and I also packed up some to eat there. Girrrlll, that bag with my raw dinner stayed in the coat closet and I was in there grubbing on what my sister-in-law had cooked. I didn't eat the meat, but I ate the sides!

It's like, sometimes you can have the BEST intentions to eat what you make but then end up eating something else. When I was strictly eating cooked foods, I used to take a lunch to work to save money and when I saw everyone else eating fast food, I'd end up wanting what they had and not wanting what I brought.

But thank you too for your beautiful words of support and encouragement. I hope all works out for you with the dinner you're hosting!!

[Rawkinlocs]

Now, I also wanted to shed some light on my situation because I've been doing some thinking about what's triggering me. Now, I know that SMELLS are definitely a big trigger for me. I only WISH I was at the point where either the smells of certain things disgusted me or just didn't bother me at all...but when I smell certain things, it gets me going.

Here's the other deal...

Some of you know that my family got rid of our stove so we could all be raw (my husband's decision with the stove thing). I kinda forced everybodies hands in this when I announced I wasn't buying any more waffles and soy "meat" analogues. But then, sometimes when my VERY picky 13-year old son starts making insinuations that there's nothing to eat, I start feeling guilty and like I'm depriving him/them and then I say, "Okay, go get a pizza (Little Caesers is like walking distance from us)" or "Here's some money, go and get everyone a bag of chips...and while you're at it, get me..."

My son won't eat ANY of the raw recipes I make...won't even try them to see if he'd like them and if I DO manage to get him to try something, he immediately says he doesn't like it or he'll say, "It's okay" and then he'll come back with, "It has a weird aftertaste". So, I've thrown my hands up with trying to get him to eat any raw dishes. And what he does eat of raw "seems", to me, limiting. Like, he'll eat a lot of oranges, he doesn't really eat apples, doesn't like pears, he eats grapes and strawberries, used to like kiwi but doesn't really eat them anymore, doesn't like melon except for watermelon and I hadn't bought any of those yet as they weren't in season, he eats salads (NOW, at one time wouldn't eat those) and he does juicing and adds greens to that but now he's slacking up on wanting those.

I'm not trying to use my son as an excuse, but it's usually what starts the cycle of me even BRINGING that other stuff into the house...let alone the advertisments on tv and hearing him or them say, "I want that". I've tried the "healthier" alternatives thing, but most of them, they don't like...especially my son. They love waffles, so rather than getting Eggo brand and Log Cabin syrup, I'd buy maple syrup and some natural, whole grain waffles - "It tastes funny" or "It tastes nasty". Tried making them a vegan cake with this cake mix from the natural foods store, used egg replacer and soy milk (this was a while ago) - they said THAT was nasty.

So, I'm up in arms because I'm like, "Do I DO what is best for them by having them eat raw or do I allow them to eat "healthy" junk because like me, it's not about them missing eating healthy cooked meals, no, they miss eating JUNK! They miss eating burgers and fries; candy and chips; pancakes and waffles; COMMERCIAL-brand cereal and "regular" milk; fried chicken...those are the things they would want re-incorporated, not beans and brown rice or baked potatoes or casseroles - they never liked those things to begin with.

On the weekends when we go shopping at the natural food store, I find myself buying them the "natural" chips and roasted/salted nuts as to take the "edge" off of them possibly feeling deprived.

[sachis2112]

You can hack it! You wouldn't smoke, would you? Isn't a french fry equally as toxic?

[SedonaSun]

You can hack it! You wouldn't smoke, would you? Isn't a french fry equally as toxic?
But a french fry tastes WAAAAAYYY better than a cigarette. And smells 1000 times better, too!

[tracyinfo]

My son won't eat ANY of the raw recipes I make...won't even try them to see if he'd like them and if I DO manage to get him to try something, he immediately says he doesn't like it or he'll say, "It's okay" and then he'll come back with, "It has a weird aftertaste". So, I've thrown my hands up with trying to get him to eat any raw dishes. And what he does eat of raw "seems", to me, limiting. Like, he'll eat a lot of oranges, he doesn't really eat apples, doesn't like pears, he eats grapes and strawberries, used to like kiwi but doesn't really eat them anymore, doesn't like melon except for watermelon and I hadn't bought any of those yet as they weren't in season, he eats salads (NOW, at one time wouldn't eat those) and he does juicing and adds greens to that but now he's slacking up on wanting those.

I'm not trying to use my son as an excuse, but it's usually what starts the cycle of me even BRINGING that other stuff into the house...let alone the advertisments on tv and hearing him or them say, "I want that". I've tried the "healthier" alternatives thing, but most of them, they don't like...especially my son. They love waffles, so rather than getting Eggo brand and Log Cabin syrup, I'd buy maple syrup and some natural, whole grain waffles - "It tastes funny" or "It tastes nasty". Tried making them a vegan cake with this cake mix from the natural foods store, used egg replacer and soy milk (this was a while ago) - they said THAT was nasty.

So, I'm up in arms because I'm like, "Do I DO what is best for them by having them eat raw or do I allow them to eat "healthy" junk because like me, it's not about them missing eating healthy cooked meals, no, they miss eating JUNK! They miss eating burgers and fries; candy and chips; pancakes and waffles; COMMERCIAL-brand cereal and "regular" milk; fried chicken...those are the things they would want re-incorporated, not beans and brown rice or baked potatoes or casseroles - they never liked those things to begin with.

On the weekends when we go shopping at the natural food store, I find myself buying them the "natural" chips and roasted/salted nuts as to take the "edge" off of them possibly feeling deprived.[/QUOTE]



Oh how I wish I had the answer! I have 3 children. 2 of them will eat raw pretty happily. But, the other one, is just too much. One of the rules at our table, is if you decide not eat something that is served, you at least have to take one bite. For years, she took a pin sized piece of whatever it was she looked at and said she didn't like, put this eensy weensy piece of food in her mouth and made terrible faces and noises until it was completely down her throat. She then followed it with a big glass of water. Such drama! Anyways, she now takes a little more reasonable bite, but for some reason, she is so hooked on processed food, it is difficult for her to appreciate real food.

My two boys, though, grew up in the same situation and eat everything!

So, she may decide not to eat her healthy dinner, but at school the next day, I'm sure she eats her friends lunches! So what does a parent do?

Blessings.

[swingbolder]

It’s been cold, my heat is out and eating cold foods wasn’t appealing to me when everyone around me was eating HOT bowls of stew. I really need a dehydrator for some warm feeling food. ;)

You can heat up soups up to 100 degrees, which actually feels very warm to the finger. I use a kitchen thermometer to be exact, and have found these warm soups to be just as satisfying as the hot, cooked soups I used to enjoy.

[Revvell]

My mentor who's been vegetarian for over 30 years, didn't see his daughter after the first 4 years or so, until she was about 13 years old. By that time of course, she'd already been eating the usual SAD diet so, at first, in order to appease her, he took her to fast food joints ~ wherever she wanted ~ at first. Finally he said, he's not doing HER justice OR himself by doing that so, the rule became, in my home, you eat what I eat. With me, you eat where I eat ~ or you don't eat. What she did or ate outside of his home was not of his concern. Did she resent that? Hell yeah! At 18, she stopped talking to him ~ this after he purchased a used car for her ~ of her choosing, paid her insurance AND gave her another $1000 to cover any needed expenses.

She is currently 23 and last Monday night, she came to class. She is a beautiful, mature woman ~ who still eats as she chooses ~ and it's not vegetarian.

There are rules in my home. I tell folk, this is a place of health and healing. NO drugs of any kind are permitted here including caffeine, nicotine, sugar, etc. What anyone does outside of here is not my concern. They can eat cut glass.

Children learn how to manipulate. They'll continue into their adults years doing the same thing IF someone doesn't assist them in doing something differently. I know I did ~ although I didn't KNOW I was doing it.

Here's the thing ~ IF one wants to break someone of a habit ~ a manipulation, the way to do that is ~ do something different. They keep pushing the same buttons ~ they keep getting the same response. "hmmm. push this, this happens. o.k., I've got that". Change the response, disrupt the pattern, continue on with your life.

The other thing is, children will learn to trust and respect someone who keeps their word. They NEED to know that one's word is good. If it's not, they will continue to manipulate ~ and feed their lil egos.

enough for now ~

Revvell

[khackett]

I think going through it together, writing BEFORe cravings hit and checking in is JUST the way to go!

Let me know if you want to band together. It's easier to do, I think, with a smaller group of people (as opposed to the ..... gabillion on the board; you get lost in the shuffle!!)

[VeganVixen]

Children learn how to manipulate. They'll continue into their adults years doing the same thing IF someone doesn't assist them in doing something differently. I know I did ~ although I didn't KNOW I was doing it.

Here's the thing ~ IF one wants to break someone of a habit ~ a manipulation, the way to do that is ~ do something different. They keep pushing the same buttons ~ they keep getting the same response. "hmmm. push this, this happens. o.k., I've got that". Change the response, disrupt the pattern, continue on with your life.

The other thing is, children will learn to trust and respect someone who keeps their word. They NEED to know that one's word is good. If it's not, they will continue to manipulate ~ and feed their lil egos.

enough for now ~

Revvell


are you sure thats fair? I REALLY dont think the kid is trying to manipulate ,I think it should be more of a moderation ~ like if "Cindy" eats healthy (like healthy sad and raw) for a week you get this or that on friday ,kids are different than us ,*I * feel they need guidnance ,but not rigidity,or a personal food nazi,we make the decision to deal w/ the cravings,pressure,social isolation -kids dont and I think they need to realize that moderation is good ,have a treat --but make sure there is balance! Theyre kids -let them live ,but wisely

thats a problem with americans ,no moderation -if you can instill that in your kids GREAT!

[rawpriestess]

First, Dear Cherie,

I am with you. YOU, ME, and Sweetgoddess are all in the same boat, I have deviated too. mac & cheese, and not even the super good kind, the terrible kraft kind. So, I totally understand, I cheated, but it will be 90 days soon, and I'm okay with saying I will be raw for 3 months, less a couple of cheats, and I am okay with that.

As I said in my journal, "I am a raw foodist, who occasionally ate cooked food."

NOW, for the kids part.

IF you truly believe that raw food is the best food to eat on this planet, then why are you feeding your kids anything else?

If they wanted to smoke, or take drugs, or do some other unhealthy behavior, would you allow it? I mean knowing what you know about what that does to their bodies? Probably not.

SO, IF you are not only allowing cooked food, but actually buying it for them, then maybe you DON'T believe that it is the ONLY food that is good.

Just a thought.

Now, here is what happened when I met Dragggon and he brought his 15 year old son to live with us, Now remember my son is in his 30's and I had lived alone for 15 years.

I wanted them to feel "at home" and I was raw at the time, so I started cooking them food, with meat of all things, for a few months, then I realized that I wasn't eating raw anymore, not even a little bit.

So, Dragggon and I decided that all food that was cooked in the house, was vegetarian, so Dragggon moved his kitchen out to the garage, and he and his son started cooking their own meals.

No problem, we still all sat down and ate together, we just prepared our food separately.

Then, Dragggon and I decided that ONLY raw and living food would be prepared in the house, and stored in the fridge.

No problem, we still all sat down and ate together.

But, I would not be a party to buying, preparing storing or cleaning up after anything that was cooked, canned, boxed, packaged etc.

Now that was about 3 years ago, I kept not eating totally raw, but Dragggon always cooked his food out in the garage, even though I was cooking my food inside. I told him this was silly, and to just bring his food back in the house, but he said, "No, you may decide to go raw tomorrow, and I want it to be as easy as possible for you."

So, for 3 years, he would go outside to the garage to prepare all of his meals, and I would do mine inside. But he was right, I did go back to raw, and it was so much easier, because all I did was Not cook stuff.

It never has been a problem at all. His son moved out after 7 months, but not because of the food, because he was a city kid, living way out in the country, with no friends, no car, no busses, and he wanted to move in with his friends, back in the big city of Seattle (born and raised there).

So, Dragggon continues to this day to buy, prepare, store and cook all of his own food in the garage, or outside on the grill.

However, he helps me prepare my own raw food, in the house, and we even have raw dinner parties. As ONLY raw food is allowed in the house now.

We have 2 raw dinner parties coming up this next week, for raw curious friends.

And that is that.

Dragggon may choose to live a different life style than I do, but he supports me 100% and he insists that we live with my food inside, and his outside, as if he brings his inside, I can smell it for weeks, and the cooking odors get into the drapes, the carpet and the walls.

So, now it is a non-entity.

I don't know if this will help you, but it is what really helps me be raw.

Like Alissa says, "don't even allow the thought in"

I am back on raw as of today, (I strayed 2 days in a row) and I feel wonderful, bring on the world.

[Revvell]

You have the right to think what you think ~ I stand by what I said. LIFE is not fair. Good time to learn that when one is living with folk who care enough to say ~ "No, I will not feed you poison. I will not endorse that in my home and I stand by what I say" ~ then do so. Children respect boundaries. They do NOT respect folk who don't mean what they say.

What "kid" are we talking about? I'm talking in general. Children learn at a VERY young age to test boundaries and to manipulate. I see my friends', clients' and students' children do this as young as 1 year of age.

Americans ~ "no moderation?" You're kidding me. Who created the line "moderation in all things?" I'm guessing it was an American who was unwilling to go all the way. Don't really know, don't really care.

Injoy ~

Revvell



are you sure thats fair? I REALLY dont think the kid is trying to manipulate ,I think it should be more of a moderation ~ like if "Cindy" eats healthy (like healthy sad and raw) for a week you get this or that on friday ,kids are different than us ,*I * feel they need guidnance ,but not rigidity,or a personal food nazi,we make the decision to deal w/ the cravings,pressure,social isolation -kids dont and I think they need to realize that moderation is good ,have a treat --but make sure there is balance! Theyre kids -let them live ,but wisely

thats a problem with americans ,no moderation -if you can instill that in your kids GREAT!

[VeganVixen]

I was saying her son (sorry I use "kid" a lot,what my bro called me :rolleyes: ),I dont think its manipulative -just ingrained ,Im NOT a parent so I probably am wrong -but I just think kids need to be told the facts ,presented with healthy options ,but not treated like the worlds going to crumble if they eat something not raw -I think there are times for healthy food (most of the food consumed) and times for not so healthy food (sparingly, of course)

I just have a problem with giving kids a 100 % raw diet if they arent fully into it ......but thats me ,and thats you (and I love ya for it :D)

btw I meant is it fair to call wanting sad food manipulation.

[khackett]

I was saying her son (sorry I use "kid" a lot,what my bro called me :rolleyes: ),I dont think its manipulative -just ingrained ,Im NOT a parent so I probably am wrong -but I just think kids need to be told the facts ,presented with healthy options ,but not treated like the worlds going to crumble if they eat something not raw -I think there are times for healthy food (most of the food consumed) and times for not so healthy food (sparingly, of course)

I just have a problem with giving kids a 100 % raw diet if they arent fully into it ......but thats me ,and thats you (and I love ya for it :D)

I'm a nanny, so even though I don't have kids, I do sort of know what I'm talking about.

And I agree.

Kids are people and they're different people. If old enough, each child should be allowed to make his or her own personal food choices. It's not manipulative and it's not wrong as long as the parent is making sure those food choices don't involve Snickers everyday and so forth. If your kid doesn't want to do raw right now, there is no reason to force him or her.

[sweetgoddess]

Cherie, I understand what you mean regarding your son.
I have a 10 year old daughter.
This is what I think and why.
When I was a child I was allergic to milk. I have 4 siblings. I cannot tell you how deprived I felt Easter mornings, valentines day etc with being excluded from all the chocolate. When I was older and overcame the allergy, I was a chocolate junkie...couldnt eat enough of it.
Also when I was a child, I was chubby. My mother put me on a liquid shake diet. I had to bring this everywhere even to friends houses. I felt like an idiot..very embarrassed and centered out and I resented it a lot. I started sneaking things.
There are more things here I wont get into-but I am sure these things are what is behind a lot of my relationsip to food as an adult.

Now back to my daughter. She loved raw at first...then she went vegetarian...I was so thrilled. But when she swayed back to cooked and some meat...I did not make her feel guilty or force anything on her. I have no right. It is my job as her parent to explain what I know to her and share information and experiences with her......so that she can make her OWN choices. Our children are not trying to manipulate us by wanting food they have always known and everyone else eats. But force things on them they are not ready for or dont agree with--and they will of course learn to manipulate. make them feel they have no control and watch what happens.

I do my best to provide the healthiest fair I can....I watch what she likes and try to incorporate the healthiest way for her to get that. She watches me....ses what I eat...I explain to her why I do...I offer to share all my raw foods with her...the seeds are being planted here.
They were not planted with me as a child and yet here I am...I found it....they are being planted with our children and will be there the day they need them. That may not be today.
I explain to her the things I learn, physiology, enzymes...everything.
No good comes of forcing someone to do something against there will...ever.
That only breeds resentment.

One thing I found worked well, was having my daughter sit down with me and write a list of what she WOULD eat...what she DID like that was healthy.
Maybe you could even sit down with your son and ask him his advice?

Oh wow, I just remembered Victoria Boutenko giving me a handout her children wrote on getting kids to eat raw. I will go find it and then share ..
hugs
Carmel

[VeganVixen]

here here!!!! sweet goddess

lol ,I get the "mother imposed liquid diet" thing (did you read my mind?)heee heeee ,thats one of the main reasons I feel the way I do..........

[Rawkinlocs]

Thanks everyone for your responses! You all have given me a lot to think about!

Yeah, cigarettes have nothing on fries! LOL! I'd never smoke, but I never have either...but I've eaten (and enjoyed) fries. But I understand what you're saying, really I do! Thanks.

Tracy, yes you can definitely relate to my little dilemna! There's always that one who all but refuses to eat healthy, right!

Now to all who replied regarding my son, please keep in mind once again, that it's not about healthy cooked vs. raw for him, it's about junk and non-healthy cooked vs. raw. I really don't think he even despises being raw - hold on a sec...I'm gonna ask him right now - okay, I'm "back". I asked my son the following and his responses will be italicized:

How do you feel about being raw?
*shrugs his shoulders

Come on now, for real, how do you feel about it?
It's okay

So, do you have any problems with being raw?
Not really...I just never feel full

Well, what did I say you have to do?
Eat until I feel full

So, other than that, any other problems?
No

So, you don't mind being raw?
No

Do you feel pressured into being raw?
yes

Why?
Because...YOU want us to all be raw

Okay, so you don't wanna be raw?
shakes head no

Then what do you want to do?
Well, I wanna be vegan...I mean, I wanna be raw, but still be like other people

Jonathan, how can you do that? How can you be raw AND be like everyone else? In other words, tell me what your ideal balance would be for you.
To eat raw and eat stuff from the Natural Food Patch (our natural foods store) like the healthy chips, the chikN patties (Morning Star Farms soy chik patties) and the fruit leather and the cashews and peanuts that are roasted and salted.

So, if you were allowed those things, then you'd be happier eating the rest raw?
yes

Well, there ya have it! Now, my husband, when I expressed this dilemna to him a couple of weeks ago said basically that we need to do what is right for our children now and then when they're older they can do what they want...but they'll have it instilled in them.

I am SO torn by this because I've seen the other side of kids who had to eat what their moms prepared whether they wanted to or not. I've seen kids who eat seconds and thirds of plates of beans because growing up, they HAD to eat it even if they complained about it.

Now, one thing I'm not doing is making my son eat raw things he doesn't like...he can have a choice as to what (raw) foods he eats, right? Kinda like with church...you have some kids who are raised up in church and when they get older, they are very into their faith and hold dearly to it; while on the other hand you have those who as soon as they become adults, avoid church like the plague. So it can really go both ways.

I feel like I need to set SOME boundaries but at the same time, allow them to decide on SOME things. It's kinda like when people ask me about my kids having dreadlocks...the two older ones asked for them, the younger ones, I just did it. My whole family wears them, including my husband.

Sometimes people say, "Well, you should wait until they're old enough to decide" and my response is always, "Parents pick and choose what they will decide on their children's behalves. To pierce the girls ears, to circumcise the boys, what religion they will practice, what kind of school they will attend (public, private or home), etc.

I realize that it's different when you raise a child doing a certain thing from birth as opposed to raising them one way, then later on in life you learn something different and try to implement that and I guess that's where the "problem" arises...because I didn't RAISE my son and my oldest daughter this way. The younger ones are a little different, esp. my 2 year old because he is having a chance to be raised raw.

I'm gonna have to pray about this. I can see both sides - VeganVixen and Revvell's POV. Sweetgoddess, thank you for sharing your story with me, it caused me to think about it from another perspective.

One thing though, I don't make a big stink over what happens when my children are away from home at a friends or over Grandma's, etc.

We'll see how things go. Thanks again for the advice and suggestions!

[sweetgoddess]

Cherie~ you are a beautiful mother, wow.
Sounds to me you have a very good balance in your parenting relationship and I commend you for asking your son for his input like that. Thank you for sharing his responses. How funny, after my post I went and talked to my daughter and she said such similar things to your son.
"And a child shall lead them...." ;)

[VeganVixen]

there are very cool mom's on this board :) You go girls!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

[Sharon in Colorado]

Hi Cherie -

I hear you about the struggles. Maybe it would help if you cut up a bunch of fruit beforehand and keep it contained in the fridge for quick eating. That way *before* someone says I'm hungry you'll have nipped it in the bud.

Also about the choices issue. I'm all about choices, but you want to be in control, not the other way around, so maybe you can present 2 healthy choices (would you like a ''shake your banana' or some crepes?) that kind of thing. If you have the ingredients or recipes on hand it makes it so much easier.

I recently stopped buying cold cereal for the kids because I'm plain sick of them eating that empty stuff. They'd go through a box of Mother's or Enviokidz cereal in no time flat. Instead they have hot cereal like oatmeal or something with their fruit shakes.

Hope that helped some.

[RawTruth]

Also about the choices issue. I'm all about choices, but you want to be in control, not the other way around, so maybe you can present 2 healthy choices (would you like a ''shake your banana' or some crepes?) that kind of thing. If you have the ingredients or recipes on hand it makes it so much easier.

I so totally agree with Sharon on this, Cherie. I did this with my kids from an early age about many things. I'd always give them two choices -- whether it was clothes in the morning, food, or bedtime rituals. They need to feel they have choices (but YOU still control the situation -- you are, after all, the adult and the one God entrusted these souls to), and they need to practice making decisions under your tutelage. But the bigger issue of whether they will eat unhealthy junk or healthy good is NOT their choice.

You might want to consider starting to educate them about WHY they want those junky foods. What I would do is, when we'd see an ad or commercial for something, I'd make a casual comment about how we were being manipulated by the manufacturer and expensive ad agency into believing that we needed that thing. I was in advertising & PR and, believe me, we buy very few things because we truly need them. We are the biggest nation of consumers ... and debtors ... in the entire world.

To want to be NOT different from other kids is also so very common. That is why we see kids who don't tell when other kids bring guns to school or bully weaker kids unmercilessly. I taught school; I know what it's like. Most of the time, not one kid will step forward or even help another kid out -- because they want to be like everyone else. I believe this is because they weren't overtly taught by their parents that other kids' opinions absolutely do not matter. I'm not implying that this is true with you, dear Cherie. I know that you have a strong Christian faith, and, so, your son must know that, in that respect, at least, he is different than other kids. I don't think that eating raw is much different. Maybe you can approach it from there --especially since he himself said that he want to "still be like other people." What? -- fat, unhealthy, lazy, and in a numbed SAD state?

I think it's imperative to teach kids that it's okay to be different - no, actually imperative to be different -- and that, if they have a brain, a conscience, and a heart, they WILL stand out from the crowd. This isn't a bad thing! Our culture tries to get us all to conform. We have to teach our kids that they may not be liked by everyone (this is a GOOD thing considering who our society idolizes -- singers, actors, celebrity and fame itself -- everything external, trivial, superficial), but they WILL be respected for being true to their own beliefs. It just may not seem like it at that moment when they pull out a baggie of fresh veggies when others are eating Doritos or fries. Yes, I know this may sound overblown for something "little" like what they choose to eat. But, being a revolutionary doesn't necessarily mean marching or overthrowing oppressive systems; eating raw is a revolt against a way of eating that dulls the mind and emotions of an entire nation. This is something to be proud of! Children naturally care about those who suffer - have you ever noticed that? And, our entire country is suffering from they way they're eating. They can be examples to other kids who truly don't know and who think that Cheetos and McDs is part of the natural order of life rather than seeing them as perversions of what is natural and God-given.

Remember: "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." Mark Twain

Finally -- the chips, the soy products, the salted nuts (nto to mention fries & Twinkies) are keeping their taste buds from adjusting to the taste of fresh, natural, raw foods. Of course they want them. The question is: are they doing them any good? Those foods are addicting, and (okay, I might get flak about this) I can't imagine that you would knowingly give them any other addictive substances. Like you said, it's not that they're choosing cooked but healthy foods -- they're wanting junky, unhealthy foods.

This is coming to you from love, Cheri, and from the experience of having raised two children (my younger just graduated from high school). So, now that I'm down off my soapbox ;) , I'm hoping that you take all this in the spirit in which it was offered -- caring and empathizing.

[Rawkinlocs]

Thanks ladies!

yeah, it can be catch-22 sometimes, I tell ya! On the one hand, how many times have you heard kids (maybe not OUR kids...but other's kids) suggest that they don't WANT their parents to be a "friend" but to be a parent...YET, when we DO try to be a parent, then we're "not cool"!

RawTruth, I DO take what you said in love and I honestly do feel a lot of truth in what you said. Yep, they're "choice" could be, "Hey, you guys want a smoothie or fruit salad for breakfast? Not, "Hey, you guys want fruit or waffles for breakfast?" 'Cause we KNOW what they'd choose! ;)

Parenting is NO joke...MAN! I think things were a lot better when we got rid of our television. I'm sitting here right now and the kids are watching cartoons and all these Reese's Puffs cereal and other commercials...yeah, you're right RawTruth about the advertisements!

I guess making the decision to not buy those things (even if from the natural food store) is no different/worse than parents who insist on homecooked meals ONLY and no fast food joints; or the family that doesn't allow candy into their homes (I can remember meeting kids who will politely say, "No thank you" when offered candy - AMAZING!)

I'll get all this worked out and it WILL work out for our good! Thanks again for all the advice and suggestions.

[Sweet lips]

Rawkinlocs,

You are my heart, and part of my soul and yes, with my mother-wit, I knew the degree of what you, considered your transgression so what it have profitted either of us to harm one another through chastisement. Paul says in Romans 7:23-25 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God--through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.

You are a vessel of honor Cherie King, wife to William, Mother to Jonathan, Rachel, Leah and James and my other daughter - let not your heart be troubled, you have asked "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve." Jeremiah 17:10 - because your beared your soul, because you cried from your wilderness, you reawards are so many.

I received this e-zine and for once, I find this one a positive - trust your heart always, it has not and will not fail you - Love You`





HOW TO GET BACK ON TRACK -When you’ve fallen off the wagon...
By Frederic Patenaude

Whenever a discipline is concerned, everybody falls off the wagon once in while. With a diet and exercise program, I know it can go downhill pretty fast, once you get into a bad pattern. What to do when that happens? That is the subject of today’s article.

It started perhaps out of boredom, temptation, or another reason. At the restaurant, you were tempted to taste your friend’s pasta, cheese, etc. You were able to control yourself quite nicely and had only a little bit of it, and best of all, enjoyed yourself. But strangely enough, the next day you wanted more. Your taste buds had been excited by the salt, sauces, and spices in the food you had the night before. You tried your best to resist the temptation, but it was stronger than you. That very night, you ended up eating a whole bunch of foods you previously swore never to eat again. You slept poorly, woke up in a daze, and then for the last few days have been trying to get back on track — but it’s been tough.

Now you don’t have the energy to motivate yourself, your good old plain fruits and vegetables don’t taste so good anymore, and you’ve been feeling a little depressed, sick, and especially confused by the fact that such a little indulgence could put you in such a miserable state!

First, you’ve got to understand that when you eat “modern” foods, not just junk foods, but all foods that contain salt, spices, foods that are combined and seasoned in such ways to please your palate, you are under the effect of excitotoxins — substances that directly affect your brain. So you are literally not yourself anymore. You feel a little bit drugged. Your system is upset by the effect of these “excitotoxins.” Because you are not used to consume them, your reaction is a lot more dramatic than that of most people around you. You also feel the addictive nature of excitotoxins a lot stronger. You’ll find yourself wanting more of the very foods that made you feel ill the night before, instead of naturally reaching for the simple fruits and vegetables that you normally eat.

So getting back on track, feeling energetic and good again will require a bit of a discipline, but not too much time, hopefully.

The easiest way to do this is as follow: fast until you experience genuine hunger again, and satisfy that hunger with simple, properly combined fruits and vegetables.

With genuine hunger, any simple fruit tastes like a delight of the gods.

Not there yet? Yes, the simplest thing in the world, eating with genuine hunger, is also the hardest! So if you’ve got the discipline of a champion, you might just meditate on the above statement and let balance come again into your life. Otherwise, you could try out my suggestions.

Fred’s Getting Back on Track Program
-----> For the next few days, skip breakfast. (Or do not eat 3-5 hours after waking up). This will give your body the chance to detox, a thing that needs to happen at the moment. If you do not have the courage to do this, at least try it out for a day. Then consider doing this for a few more days.

------> For the next few days, consume only the following food:

Fruit — Any fruits will do, but if you’ve made yourself a little sick by your dietary indiscretions, avoid acidic fruits for some time, and instead eat apples, bananas, pears, etc.
Smoothies— Simple smoothies will give your body a rest for a little while, while providing you all the nutrients and calories you need for an extra boost, as well as extra water that you probably need to balance out the toxins that have accumulated in your body.
Raw soups & vegetable juices — Rest from chewing salads for a while, and instead have only raw soups (or blended salads), and vegetable juice. No fruit juice, because the sugar in it enters the blood too quickly.
-----> For a while, do not eat any of the following foods:

Fat — Fat is to difficult to digest, and what we want at the moment is to give your body a rest. So no nuts, seeds, oils or avocados for a little while.
Cooked food — We want to flood your body with oxygen and foods filled with energy and sunshine. So do not have any cooked food for some time. If you must, then have only steamed vegetables.
Fibrous vegetables — All the vegetables you’ll be eating will be in the form of green smoothies, raw soups or vegetable juice. Do not have any carrots, broccoli, beets — or any other really fibrous vegetables (unless they are juiced or well blended). Those are again too hard to digest for the purpose of this cleanse.
Dried food — You want to stay hydrated — not get more dehydrated. So avoid all dried fruits, crackers, and any type of dried food.
Salt, spices, or seasonings of any kind. It is very important to abstain from all forms of seasonings. Why? They are all stimulants to some degree. Right now, you may be overly stimulated from the foods you ate recently. All those excitotoxins are driving you crazy and making you want to eat more and more junk. You have to break that pattern. So for a while, abstain from all seasonings, including sea salt, seaweeds of all kind, spices, vinegar, etc. You can use some lemon juice however.
-----> Get some oxygen in your system by doing aerobic exercise. You may be feeling down, tired, or whatever. You can rest to recover, of course. But you also have to get some oxygen flowing in your system. And you’re going to do this by doing some aerobic exercise. The standard exercise I recommend in that case is a daily one-hour brisk walk. If you feel like doing more, go run, hike, bike, rebound, etc.

-----> OTHER THINGS TO DO:
Write down how you feel. Take your journal or open a fresh new page in your computer, and write down how you feel at the moment. Pour out your emotions on paper — and also note everything that you ate or did recently. Don’t worry if you have no inspiration — just write anything that comes to mind. Letting out your emotions by writing is a powerful therapy.
Go walk in nature. Reconnection with nature uplifts your spirit, and this is exactly what is necessary when you need at the moment. Whether it is raining, snowing, or sunny doesn’t matter. You should find some time soon to go for a long walk in the forest, mountain, etc. Your soul will thank you.
Write down a list of all the things that you love to do that do not involve food. This is an interesting exercise. The idea is to make a list of all the things that you love to do that make you feel good. The last part is important, so avoid things that make you feel good upon gratification only to make you feel bad later on. And those activities shouldn’t involve food. So take out a piece of paper and brainstorm. Write as much as you can. Then, select the top 5 or 10, and choose one or two that you can do today or soon — and set plans to do them.
Write down a list of the people in your life. This is another good exercise: write down on a piece of paper all the most important people in your life — those that you relate to often — friends, family, co-workers, etc. Then divide them into 3 categories: uplifting, neutral, or negative. There’s no judgment there, just honesty with yourself. Once that is done, decide to spend more time with the uplifting people in your life.
Meditate. You may have a special technique for meditation. You may not. It doesn’t matter. Just sitting still for 30 minutes or longer and observing your bodily sensations, observing your thoughts come and go is a powerful way to reconnect with yourself again — which is just what you need at the moment.
So you see, falling off the wagon can be a great opportunity to take time to reevaluate your priorities and move in the direction of what you really want! Just taking the first step, one day at a time, is all it takes.

Good luck!

Frederic

[kiwikid78]

Go walk in nature. Reconnection with nature uplifts your spirit, and this is exactly what is necessary when you need at the moment. Whether it is raining, snowing, or sunny doesn’t matter. You should find some time soon to go for a long walk in the forest, mountain, etc. Your soul will thank you.
Write down a list of all the things that you love to do that do not involve food. This is an interesting exercise. The idea is to make a list of all the things that you love to do that make you feel good. The last part is important, so avoid things that make you feel good upon gratification only to make you feel bad later on. And those activities shouldn’t involve food. So take out a piece of paper and brainstorm. Write as much as you can. Then, select the top 5 or 10, and choose one or two that you can do today or soon — and set plans to do them.
Write down a list of the people in your life. This is another good exercise: write down on a piece of paper all the most important people in your life — those that you relate to often — friends, family, co-workers, etc. Then divide them into 3 categories: uplifting, neutral, or negative. There’s no judgment there, just honesty with yourself. Once that is done, decide to spend more time with the uplifting people in your life.
Meditate. You may have a special technique for meditation. You may not. It doesn’t matter. Just sitting still for 30 minutes or longer and observing your bodily sensations, observing your thoughts come and go is a powerful way to reconnect with yourself again

I really loved these, Sweet Lips, especially the dividing a list of the people in my life. Excellent idea and something most relevant to me. Thanks for sharing.

Cherie,
Hey toots! I hope this thread gives you that extra somethin somethin you need to get that 30 days under your belt once and for all.

I'll read your journal to check your progress. Do you try postulation/visualization? That helped me alot during my journey!!

I'd wish you luck but luck doesn't really have anything to do with it, does it?

May the force be with you!! :p

- Megan

[tglasco4]

Sister Cherie,

I have been so very busy over the last month that I have really missed alot on this board. Sorry about that. You and I have talked both on the phone and on the board. So I feel like I can talk to you as a Christian since are both Christians. I say this because others who do not believe as we do may be offended for what I am going to post. But its not for them, its for YOU, that I give this message.

First I want to say, I feel alot of love for you as a sister in Christ. The Lord is using you greatly, not only on this board, but in the more important position of raising a future generation at home. But there are just a few things I want to go over with you sis.

1) One of the keys to success, real success in the raw diet is to completely believe with all your heart that your body and spirit are connected. Many have been taught that they are separate and distinct. That what a person eats has nothing to do with their spiritual life. Even though we may be awakened to the fact that this is a lie, we still subconsciously buy into it because it has become a part of us. We must more than believe that our spiritual life is tied to our dietary habits, it must become part of our very being. Its really a lack of faith, but Christ is so loving that He is ready to look past our faults and meet our need. In Mark 9:24 a desperate father cried "Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief". Jesus healed that man's son, in response to that desperate plea. We will never perish when we come to Christ like this----NEVER. So the first thing is to ask forgiveness for unbelief and to move on in Faith. Believing that appetite is tied completely to our spirit so that eating choices are spiritual issues.

2) You are still looking to yourself for strength for Victory. You cannot do anything to overcome what sin has done to the human appetite. Adam had no problems with his appetite as He came from the hand of Christ, until he ate the forbidden fruit. Then Adam came under the dominion of satan. Ever since mankind has had a perverted appetite. Christ came to this earth as a man, fasted for nearly six weeks and overcame satan on that point. His victory is ours. The problem is most people don't know how to tap into that victory for themselves. The bible makes it plain for us though, here are a few verses......

The bible says we are saved by grace....."For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God" Eph 2:8......But what is the bible definition of grace? (For the bible says we are saved by it)

"For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by His life" Romans 5:10

Apparently, the grace of God is the Life of Christ in the soul of the believer. The 6 week fast Christ did, becomes our victory when we die to self and let Him live it out in us.

"For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God".
"When Christ who is our life shall appear, then shall ye also appear with Him in glory" Col 3:3,4

Christ must be our life for us to have total Victory and success in the raw lifestyle. We must be dead, self must die completely. Then His strength becomes our strength.

"He must increase, but I must decrease" John 3:30

Then we can say like the apostle Paul,
"I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith OF the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me". Gal 2:20

"For it is God which worketh in you both to WILL and to DO of His good pleasure" (emphasis supplied). Phil 2:13.

Dear, beloved, sister Cherie. I am praying for you. Praying that the victory of Christ over all appetite becomes a living, breathing victory in you!!

Peace and great blessings to you on your raw journey.

Todd

[Rawkinlocs]

Sweetlips - Thank you Mama, for EVERYTHING!

Kiwikid - yes, this thread has been a tremendous help and blessing to me...thank you as well!

Todd - I appreciate you and your faithfullness and I receive your prayers. You are a TRUE brother in the Lord, no doubt! Thank you!

[vickie52]

Wow! Trying to make these changes with kids in the house really sounds challenging. It's just my husband and myself, and he joined me in the challenge. He made the carrot juice I took to work. And on day 8 I caved and talked him into the chinese buffet! Now after 4 days of cooked added to the raw, we are dwelling on what craving we will satisfy at dinner instead of what raw recipe we will try. And last night I craved a Diet Coke so bad. I managed to pass the stores and not ask for him to stop and then saw some regular Cokes - with sugar!!- that were left in the garage after some gathering we hosted and ended up downing one of those! And I never drank the ones with sugar. I am refocusing today by downing water - one bottle every 3 hours. That seems to get me back quickly. I still aim to increase the all raw days per week and TRY to find raw dinner items that work. Got to give the alfredo sauce another try and measure the garlic right this time. I feel sad every time I move away from the idea of all raw because I have Arthritis and the hope of improving is something you hang onto.

[sachis2112]

I've found all the discussion about children fascinating. While I think the ultimate answer is that we each know what is best for our children and we each know how to be a proper parent. Each to his own.

IMHO, it will be my duty (when I have a kid LOL) to make food choices for my child until they leave my house. Period. If they don't like what is made for dinner, they can find their own. At a certain age (probably 10) I will no longer speak with friends' mothers to discuss eating habits. I will, however, demand that the child goes to school regardless of how they are feeling (if the ailment is related to cooked food, of course).

I know everyone wants to respect their children's individuality and creativity, but there are plenty of other arenas in which the child can do so that don't involve nutrition.

[VeganVixen]

I just have to chime in once more about this child issue,because it REALLY interest and "sparks" me ,for personal reasons.......

revvel said this:[QUOTE]Finally he said, he's not doing HER justice OR himself by doing that so, the rule became, in my home, you eat what I eat. With me, you eat where I eat ~ or you don't eat. What she did or ate outside of his home was not of his concern. Did she resent that? Hell yeah! At 18, she stopped talking to him ~ this after he purchased a used car for her ~ of her choosing, paid her insurance AND gave her another $1000 to cover any needed expenses.

She is currently 23 and last Monday night, she came to class. She is a beautiful, mature woman ~ who still eats as she chooses ~ and it's not vegetarian.

[QUOTE]



what did that do? she not only resented him ,but wound up far from the diet he had created

when you give kids(9 and up) a choice and teach them what the foods are ,they know why they should eat healthy and when they have uncooked (or unhealthy ,depending on what you are inforcing) they relize why this food is negative ,and they might feel bad after eating it and "learn from the experience"

I also think its not wise to "think for" your child (older than 9) in terms of you eat when I say and what I say -otherwise you get no food ,then that whole system collapses when they leave -ever since I was 13 and went vegan I shopped for myself ,cooked for myself ,ate when I felt hungry ,not when my parents said so....but I am a responsible kid,so that might make me different than most.

It took A LOT of convincing to my already controlling ,meat eating parents -but after my liver laceration (15) and gall bladder removal(16) they shut up and let me take care of my delicate system .......so thats why I feel this way-but I see both points of view...

[sachis2112]

Oh, absolutely understood. I simply mean that the house will be stocked with nutritious things. They have their pick of all those things. However, I am still responsible for that child and, as such, would feed them accordingly.

They're welcome to choose but their choices will be limited. Around age 13, if they want special treats that are not allowed in a particular diet, they get to use their babysitting/allowance/chore money to find it. But I will not be guilty of giving my child unhealthful things no matter what their age. Hopefully this will also teach them how to earn their possessions.

*Disclaimer - All subject to amendment once I actually HAVE a child LOL!!!

[VeganVixen]

yeah TOTALLY agree ,I'm more concerned about putting a child on a 100% raw diet -Im not talking pizza and burgers (unless it whole grain,almond cheese,and veggie pizza),Im saying granola ,organic spelt bread,baked chips,veggie burgers and on occasion an organic multi-grain carob muffin (?)along with plenty of fresh raw things -I DEFINATLEY think deliberatley feeding a child junk reguarly is a waterd down ( hopefully unintentional) form of abuse........I just feel vegan kids have it "limited" (in child-world)enough ....


lol its funny how us childless ppl are so interested in this ,lol!

[sachis2112]

Maybe we're so interested because we want so badly to be good parents when we actually BECOME parents. ROFL!

I think it's terribly important to decide what kind of a parent you're going to be before the kid actually gets here... at least... when you have the luxury of deciding the "when" part of that.

And BTW, how's it going, Rawkinlocs? I'm sorry we hijacked your thread. :o

[VeganVixen]

yeah sorry , like she said were sorry for being hijakers !!!!

the strange thing is Im not that interested in kids ,lol-I guess Im close enough to remember reallywell what it was like..