Non Raw boyfriend that likes to eat out

[garne041]

My boyfriend likes to eat out---almost every meal. I've searched the tips and have tried to apply them, but I guess it's my location in West Alabama. Salads aren't taken that seriously on the menus. Without the raw stuff, they just give you almost nothing.
For instance, my bf likes to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings. The only salads they have have either fried/grilled chicken, loads of cheese and heavy salad dressings. When I order the salads without all of that stuff, I end up with a bowl full of white iceberg lettuce, 3 tomato slices, and 2 onion rings....everytime. No bell peppers, no carrots, no broccoli, nothing. I tried to look and see if they have anything else fresh on the menu, but a small cup of pico de gallo is all they have to offer. After weeks of that, I gave up on that restaurant.
The thing is that it's not a unique situation. At almost every "favorite" restaurant, it's impossible to eat. I've been surviving off of Zaxby's garden house salad without cheese for a few weeks now, and I"m tired.
Please give me suggestions of how to get my bf to eat at home more, because eating out doesn't seem to be an option. Plus, he wants to eat at the same time, so me eating before or after him seems to be a non-issue. I'm at the end of my rope.

[eatyourbroccoli]

i think its more a situation of sitting down and asking him to respect your choices with food. if he cant, just dont eat with him anymore.

its your body, your life

why drive yourself nuts for someone who refuses to respect your lifestyle (if he pursues that option, that is..)?

i had the same issue with my bf right when i first started raw. he wanted to go out to eat pizza every night at 8 or 9 pm (which is WAY too late to eat in itself for me) and after a week of munching on pathetic side salads or sitting there eating nothing, i said "thats enough..im not going to allow you to guilt me into going with you anymore and i think its incredibly disrespectful for you to sit here and expect me to keep you company when you wont even agree to go somewhere vegan-friendly or ever just cook dinner at home so that i can make SOMETHING to eat. no more."

and so it was. no more. he was very respectful after that and always makes sure im able to eat one way or another whenever we share meals together.

so many woman on here sacrificing their own happiness to pacify their partner. why? :o

[tvillemom]

Definitely have THAT talk...but also, with my family eating out...I always try to eat BEFORE I go....AND take a stash of granola, dehydrated nuts or a RAW bar....or even something simple like "rp's brownies". Eat before hand...enjoy the conversation while you are there. I actually ENJOYED "eating" at an Italian restaurant while fasting!! I ordered a cup of hot water...I had take a large wedge of lemon, minced ginger, and a dash of cayenne pepper (I put all this in a baggie) for a great "tea" while I was there...or you could do the same with some tea bags (if you drink tea) and enjoy sipping, and talking, and feeling victorious that you didn't cave!!

Wendi

[RawVee]

I think it would be interesting to do a taste challenge for your boyfriend. Make some raw unchicken strips, pizza, nachos, whatever foods he usually goes for. And just sit down and start munching. I wonder how long it'll take him to come over and want a taste. :)

All relationships have compromise. If you don't want to go out to eat, don't. If he tries to pull a guilt card, remember that the only person who can make you feel guilty is you. And if he wants to be in a relationship of equality, then he has to go out to veggie restaurants with you, too, or deal with you not accompanying him to Joe's House of TV Dinners.

Maybe you can open your own raw restaurant in AL and turn those folks around. ;)

[xinmywayx]

I feel your pain on that one but in a different way.....

I hang out with my sister and a few other ladies who are not even close to raw. My sister eats more raw food than the others but she isn't veggie and my veggies friends are huge fans of pasta and such. These people eat out like it's going out of style, it's insane! Whenever we are together they go out to eat. I guess if I was a seasoned raw foodie it wouldn't be an issue but the fact is I am still very, very new! Not new to the concept but very new to applying it to my life. I am so so so weak when it comes to take out food, it isn't even funny. In fact it really is my only huge issue when it comes to be 100 percent raw.

I think the advice the others gave you is good advice. I need to take it also!

Good luck!

[Revvell]

....so many woman on here sacrificing their own happiness to pacify their partner. why? :o

That was my thought.

Revvell

[Revvell]

All relationships have compromise.

I'll never agree to that. My husband and I do not compromise. We work things out so both benefit.

I enjoy training and working out ~ he doesn't. I've got a training partner. I enjoy going to raw food restaurants... he enjoys them too. We've got non-raw restaurants we go to.. they've got GREAT salads. He's got other restaurants he likes that don't have anything for me to eat.. he invites a friend or biz associate.

Life is good if we allow it to be.

For me, compromise becomes a thing of... "If I do this for you, you have to do this for me" or eventually "I DID this for you, now you HAVE TO/SHOULD do this for me". Life is too short for that for me.

Revvell

[elfinbaby]

I agree that it's a good time for the talk. :)

How long have you been raw? Maybe this is his "transition." It sounds like he's pretty resistant to you eating raw if he's not taking your needs into consideration. Dh went through a similar period when we went out. First, he didn't want anyone to know so I ended up looking like I had an eating disorder when we went to friends' b/c I shuffled my food around the plate. Then, if we went to a restaurant and I said "Oh. Everything has cheese, meat, etc. on it." He'd pout, we'd leave and go to Whole Foods where I am most happy eating b/c they have a raw bar. He got over all the nonsense and is completely supportive now. He's even drinking green smoothies;)

At first, raw was a total extreme thing to dh. He was totally horrified. He was upset and confused. I got him the China Study for Christmas which made a huge difference in his attitude. Now, the cat's out of the bag. Everyone knows I'm raw, that I cleanse, fast, and do lots of other "weird" things. Rumor has it someone else he knows has experimented with raw.

Dh is a wonderful man. He was just in shock. Now when we go out, he calls ahead, informs the host, and whatever needs to be done so that I have a pleasant meal. When we go somewhere unfamiliar and I end up eating iceberg, we stop for something for me to eat afterwards.

I hope things shift for you soon.
April

[shine72]

I'll never agree to that. My husband and I do not compromise. We work things out so both benefit.

I enjoy training and working out ~ he doesn't. I've got a training partner. I enjoy going to raw food restaurants... he enjoys them too. We've got non-raw restaurants we go to.. they've got GREAT salads. He's got other restaurants he likes that don't have anything for me to eat.. he invites a friend or biz associate.

Life is good if we allow it to be.

For me, compromise becomes a thing of... "If I do this for you, you have to do this for me" or eventually "I DID this for you, now you HAVE TO/SHOULD do this for me". Life is too short for that for me.

Revvell


Beautifully said Revvell!:D

[greenfeline]

I agree with all of the above and have a similar situation. Stick to your beliefs and remember it is your body and your decision!

[RawVee]

I'll never agree to that. My husband and I do not compromise. We work things out so both benefit.

I enjoy training and working out ~ he doesn't. I've got a training partner. I enjoy going to raw food restaurants... he enjoys them too. We've got non-raw restaurants we go to.. they've got GREAT salads. He's got other restaurants he likes that don't have anything for me to eat.. he invites a friend or biz associate.

Life is good if we allow it to be.

For me, compromise becomes a thing of... "If I do this for you, you have to do this for me" or eventually "I DID this for you, now you HAVE TO/SHOULD do this for me". Life is too short for that for me.

Revvell


I agree, Revvell, so perhaps compromise was the wrong way to put it. I was trying to say that partners need to respect each other equally. :)

Thanks for stating more clearly what I meant!

[Revvell]

I agree, Revvell, so perhaps compromise was the wrong way to put it. I was trying to say that partners need to respect each other equally. :)

Thanks for stating more clearly what I meant!

Thank you for understanding. :)

[RawBecky]

Is it the company he's looking for? You can always eat before and just go, get a water, and talk with him. Having that talk and asking him to respect you is a good idea too.

[magglepie]

I'll never agree to that. My husband and I do not compromise. We work things out so both benefit.

I enjoy training and working out ~ he doesn't. I've got a training partner. I enjoy going to raw food restaurants... he enjoys them too. We've got non-raw restaurants we go to.. they've got GREAT salads. He's got other restaurants he likes that don't have anything for me to eat.. he invites a friend or biz associate.

Life is good if we allow it to be.

For me, compromise becomes a thing of... "If I do this for you, you have to do this for me" or eventually "I DID this for you, now you HAVE TO/SHOULD do this for me". Life is too short for that for me.

Revvell

How glad I am that you said that Revvell! Compromising is no way to live life.

[andypdx]

Sounds like you need to find yourself a RAW boyfriend!

<OK, Just kidding!>

Like others have said, I think the best solution is to start creating some really delicious raw meals at home. Hopefully, his interest will be piqued, and he might realize that eating at home more often, might not necessarily be such a bad thing after all.

[RawVee]

Sounds like you need to find yourself a RAW boyfriend!

<OK, Just kidding!>

Like others have said, I think the best solution is to start creating some really delicious raw meals at home. Hopefully, his interest will be piqued, and he might realize that eating at home more often, might not necessarily be such a bad thing after all.

If there's a raw boyfriend store somewhere, I'll definitely go shopping.

:p

[eatyourbroccoli]

If there's a raw boyfriend store somewhere, I'll definitely go shopping.

:p

yea hook me up

[Dj 247]

Too funny! My husband is not raw, but he is very understanding and does not complain about my new eating lifestyle. He does really enjoy eating out and going out. Sometimes he has gone out to breakfast without me and I did feel a little left out. I have since started making him a big breakfast at home more often. At dinner we always choose a place where there is something I will eat. He is very sweet so I think I will keep him around.