Veteran needs help [Archive]

Melissa

04-02-2005, 04:56 PM

Hi everyone. Although I've been almost entirely raw since October, the past few weeks have been the hardest by far.

I don't know if it's my new (terrific) job, change of schedule, less time to prepare, some personal worries, or a combination of all these things...but I've been falling into some "just this once" cooked-food cheating lately and the aftermath ain't pretty, let me just say that. Feeling nauseous, fibromyalgia aches and pains returning, angry at myself.

If anyone out there is experiencing similar things and wants to hang tough together--or if you faced this and got through it--let me know.

I've GOT TO get reinspired about staying all-raw since it really helps me when I do. But lately I'm just feeling deprived, not preparing, feeling kind of pissed off about the whole thing, and cheating.

Okay, I'll stop ranting now. I just thought if I posted about it, it might help me get things back on track.

DotfromOz

04-02-2005, 05:58 PM

Feeling better after getting that out of your system a bit, I hope? :)

Hmmm...are you making time for fun in this hectic current schedule? I often forget to do that myself. Actually have to write it into my PDA at a specific time daily sometimes. (I am NOT kidding either!)

Silly though it sounds, a co-worker even plans in advance exactly what her funtime will include so she doesn't have to consider and decide when it comes around...just have fun!

Allison

04-02-2005, 07:50 PM

You know, that seems to be a trend with a lot of people lately. I was kind of experiencing the same thing. It started when I added some cooked food back into my family's diet. I've recommitted myself to raw food only, and so far so good, but it's definitely been hard. I think the problem is exactly what you said...letting one bite of cooked food in opens the door to rationalizing more.

I say we start a Recommitment Thread (or let this be it), and everyone who wants to recommit to 100% raw can support each other and hold each other accountable.

Oh, and I also bought a new recipe book, hoping that new recipes would motivate me.

sweetgoddess

04-02-2005, 08:55 PM

I have been experiencing this also.
It started with my families dinner, and I found the same thing Allison-that led to rationalization, or lying to myself. The "just this once" that you mentioned Melissa. What IS it we are pissed off about anyways?
This past week I have had to come to terms that I AM addicted to cooked food, and that managing that will be a life-long commitment. That meant letting go of the fantasy that one day I will be "fixed", and can eat whatever monstrosity I want because I will have learned control etc. Now that made me mad...!
I have recommited to 100 percent raw and also working on the inner chat and perspectives that I have built up over my lifetime. Now that is work!

If you want to start a recommitment thread- I am in!
I also support you both as you strengthen your focus once again. You can both do this!

Warmly
Carmel

Raw Jewelrylady

04-02-2005, 09:41 PM

Hi everyone, I'm new to Raw & suffer from Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue/Depression, (Just to name a few). Anyways, I started out really Great-& then I went on a sudden trip to visit family & I thought I would be OK. Well, last weekend, my Raw Hummus/ Salad etc. wasn't enough & you all know the drill.

Since Monday, I have been going for my "Comfort Foods" to have just one last time. I finally just had to get Mad at myself & DO Something. So, last night, I watched Alissa's DVD again & I took a ton of notes. I got up real early & I have been "Preparing/dehydrating" all day. My head is pounding "caffeine w/draw....but I really feel great.

I decided to "prepare" like Alissa & stop worrying about all the acurate measuring & did some subbing of things & I kept it simple. This is day 1 (again) but I am looking at this in a different way. No more I'll just have this cooked Thai food one last time.

I think for me I had to really think about what I was doing & why. I have tried everything...Diets...weird doctors...etc. I really believe that this is the answer.

I think I just had to hit my "Rock-bottom". I had excuses until my supplies arrived to be only 50 % raw. Well, I have my tools, & now I'm going for it.
I hope that helps & makes sense. I love this message board. :)

Lana Q :)

growinhealth

04-02-2005, 11:00 PM

DotfromOz

04-03-2005, 05:17 AM

Jacqueline asks:
Ugh it is so frustrating, plus I am trying to lose weight will this help?

If your experience is at all like mine, the weight will just plain melt off once you commit to 100% and stick with it. I lost only about a pound a week while 70-80% raw, but that was mostly because I was really loading up on the one cooked foods meal I ate most days.

This past week, I was entirely raw for 4 days and ate much less with only one or two cooked things at one meal on the other three. I lost 4 more pounds that week!

Yes! Get raw and stick with it 100% if you possibly can, although I DO understand how being a college student could make that more than somewhat difficult to do, particularly if you don't have your own apartment. There are way too many SAD-bad temptations that go along with college life not to make that one major challenge, but you've got us for support, so you can do it!

Alissa

04-03-2005, 05:53 AM

Hi all,
As most of you know, I talk about this in the book. First of all, this happens to almost everyone who goes raw. So dont beat yourself up about it. Its not how much, how often or what percent raw you are. Its how you feel and what you need to do for YOURSELF.

So. That being said, get up, dust yourself off and do the following:

1) PREPARE A LOT OF FOOD! I know, you may not want it. But, even though the last thing you may want after having your comfort food is a big bowl of raw food, if you have this food in the house and a lot of it, when your hungry you will reach for that, even a few bites of whatever meal it is and it will satisfy you and fill you so it takes the edge off and you can settle back down. Eat a lot and often and dont let yourself get hungry! (VERY IMPORTANT!) Even if the food is not appealing to you, which is often the case after eating cooked, make yourself ea some of it to be filled! After a few days youll be back into it. The worse thing people do after a binge or starting to fall of the diet or just letting yourself cheat and slip is to 'fast' or eat really lightly. you'll be hungry, feel deprived and it will become a vicious circle! if your busy like melissa and find you dont have time to just prepare any time you want to, then pick a day to make a bunch of things, 2 meals, 2 desserts and a large batch of salad dressing, etc if you can do this 2 times a week then you have food for the whole week.

2) Get yourself re-inspired! Like Melissa said, its hard to at times, especially when you have been on it and doing so great but then start to fall off here and there. Make a plan, have a day, make a commitment and read books. Connect with others (pot lucks, etc..) or just search the internet. Stay connected to raw, even if its just for an hour a day. It will keep you connected to why youre doing this and that there are other people doing this also and having amazing results.

3) Know that if you have any kind of eating issues that you may want to think about the addiction to cooked foods and that although it really would be great in a perfect world, if we could all eat 100% raw but on a rare occasion if you want to indulge in a little cooked food, you eat a healthy portion of healthy cooked foods and thats that. That this may not be possible for you at this point. If that were the case we wouldnt need support boards! Raw food will help you clean out the cobwebs of your mind, help you heal your body and help you make better decisions because of the mental clarity and balance and inner harmony it brings and then in turn it becomes easer to deal with the emotional issues that are causing the overeating and out of balance eating. So its a circle. Raw foods wont heal your eating issues but it will help to get you in touch with what they are and why we create certain things for ourselves. I know at least for me, things are a lot clearer being raw. I could never really see far enough through the mental fuzz to make any rational decisions when i was eating cooked.

Ok, so i would suggest getting my book out (and i think most of you do have the book) and just read over these chapters. They are not long chapters and it will take you less time then it takes to prepare a big plate of your favorite binge food :rolleyes: the chapters on 'if you fall of the diet, called simplifying page 117, the chapter on staying raw page 105, and the chapter on dont indulge the thought on page 121. You may want to look over the 4-week guide and just take some cues from the first or second week.

And last but not least as people have already mentioned and i say in my book.. You must have fun! Get inspired with your own creativity and your life and love what your doing. When you do you wont have time to eat or be inclined to bog yourself down with unhealthy food that you know will make yourself sick and tired.
Best,
Alissa

DotfromOz

04-03-2005, 08:47 AM

However, what you say about keeping lots of raw food and large batches of prepared raw foods around often isn't at all workable for a college student such as Jacqueline who posted above, particularly for one living in a dorm room who has only a tiny fridge. As small as most dorm room fridges must be (restrictions on electric demand), it'd be a challenge and a half to keep more than maybe some pre-cut veggies and several kinds of fruit. In the dorm rooms I once lived in, just finding enough space to prepare food would have been a real problem, not to mention being able to stash needed equipment and ingredients.

I think we need a new thread for hints specifically for college students. Someone want to start one?

PixieGreen

04-03-2005, 11:55 AM

I have found I'm more likely to eat food at home when I can *see* it. So I removed the [ugly] cupboard doors and bought some hanging baskets, built a shelf above my stove, etc. When I buy my produce I wash it immediately and arrange it in my baskets and bowls. I find it really attractive. It makes it easier to avoid the temptation of my less healthy foods and I enjoy being in the kitchen. It *feels* like a living kitchen now.

Prior to the efficiency I lived in a boarding house. I had a mini fridge in my room [everyone did, no communal fridge]. I wish I had been raw then! As it was I relied on boxed, canned crap.

If I lived in a dorm now I would plan one weekend a month to make granola, crackers, pizza crust, and cookies. These can be stored in sealed canning jars out of the fridge. Dehydrated tomatoes, onions, garlic, and herbs also store well but you have to make sure they are well and truely dehydrated. I keep my pesto, "refried beans", "mozerella" for pizza, fermented veggies, and cut limes in the little half pint wide mouth mason jars. They take up very little room. The items that take up the most room in my full sized fridge now are my pur water dispensor [which I keep in the fridge because I have extra space], almond milk jar, and a few veggies. I wonder if I could keep carrots and eggplant on the counter? I eat everything within 7 days anyway. Hmmm...

Melissa: I have not had to face the transition to Raw working outside of the home. I'm one of those work at home people. But I had to address the same emotional conflict and feelings of deprivation when I quit other addictions [notably alcohol]. Melissa, I don't assume that food and alcohol are the same thing, or that you and I are the same person. But I know that when I felt deprived and frustrated my ego was strongly resisting taking responsibility for my life. I was determined that the time I spent becoming healthier could be spent doing more important things [discovering the formula for free energy??! what?]. In other words, I thought my life was getting in the way of my life. Can you take some time, even a few hours, to look at the wonderful woman you are and the wonderful woman you want to be? Lovingly find your focus again. In support...

Christa

Sharon in Colorado

04-03-2005, 12:22 PM

I too have opened the 'seal' this past week.

I've been back and forth on this diet for about 3 years now, and I know the routine. I let a little cooked food slip in here and there and it goes downhill before I know it.

I think it may have been partly because I stopped making all these recipes with lots of nuts and oil, because I felt it was way too much fat for my genetic high cholesterol. Now I'm getting ready to make some more fudge, but I'm going to use more dried fruit than nuts so that there won't be quite as much fat. Also I have some awesome organic mangos ready to be eaten, plus lots of greens and other things to eat around here.

Thanks Alissa for the reference, I'm going to pull my book out and read through it now.

From experience, I know it takes a ton of extra effort after the seal's been broken, because you are dealing more with addiction than determination. Determination is usually what keeps you going long enough the first time around, recovering yourself after a slip up takes an enormous amount of self-discpline. Melissa, and anyone else, I'm game if you need a support partner, feel free to IM me.

sweetgoddess

04-03-2005, 01:34 PM

Alissa, you are beautiful. Thank you for taking the time to write that post. I printed it out, as it was just what I needed to hear. And I plan to curl up by a fire this rainy afternoon and read the suggested chapters in your book again.

I wonder if anyone else here gets that "I SHOULD" inner talk going, such as I should only eat fruit half the day, I should be drinking green smoothies everyday, eating foods whole and not eating desserts, nuts, fats, I should be spartan and pure as can be? ( of course that is mixed in with you SHOULD go eat that Cadbury egg, or wouldnt it be quicker, easier and more comforting to just make toast....etc) My husband always says "don't should on yourself" Internal struggle...against myself. :rolleyes:

I was relieved to read Alissa's post on preparing lots of food, eating lots and not letting yourself feel deprived. When I reflect, eating lots of raw and whatever I wanted raw IS what made it fun and easy.

So grateful to have this forum-all the friends, the information and sharing- help so much as I take the next stpe and the next.....thank you.

Melissa

04-03-2005, 02:44 PM

Thank you all so much for these helpful replies. Still struggling (bread and dairy are highly addictive for me and I can't get them out of the house due to the cooked majority) but I did a big grocery shopping and I'm stocked up on raw for the week. I'm hoping to get to the gym this week. Maybe the exercise will help keep me focused and determined. For anyone who offered to be a "recommitment club" I'm in. Perhaps if we try to look in on each other's journals and post support there, that would help us feel accountable. Alissa, thanks for all the great ideas. I'll go back and read those chapters.
Thanks again everyone,
Melissa

levamssg

04-03-2005, 02:52 PM

I've had this happen more than once during my nine months raw. Feeling ... what the heck am I doing this for? It is SUCH a hassle ... I have sooo many things to do and now I have to fix food, too. Geesh, can't even make a quick stop somewhere and grab some ready made food. poor me. Yep, have been there, thought that. As Alissa said, everyone does. You just have to hang tough and say NOPE, I'm raw and that is that. Easy to say ...

What do I do? First off, I try really hard not to let myself get really hungry and also really tired. Combine those two and it is disaster. But if it happens, I food binge. .... meaning, I fix a huge amount of something raw that I really like, and eat it continually ...

The past few days I've been wanting fried chicken like crazy, so I've fixed a heap of Alissa's marninara sauce (which is to die for and SO easy to make), and I put it on EVERYTHING, or eat it with a spoon. I've also filled up the fridge with fruit and salad stuff, and make sure I pack a HUGE lunch, so I won't get hungry. I spend a lot of time in my car and on jobsites, so have ample opportunity to grab fast food at any point during the day, so having food with me is essential.

when I first started out with raw, I'd make trail mix ... raisins, dates, walnuts, pecans, cashews, pumpkin seeds, .almonds ... .. and would carry a container with me always. Frankly, I ate the stuff by the handfuls. It worked.

When I feel deprived, I make banana ice cream, and throw in walnuts and carob, and eat a Huge bowl of it. I like that saying, "life is short, have dessert first" ... and have been known to have banana ice cream for breakfast! :)

The bottom line is, come up with a few simple things that YOU like, have them on hand, and eat eat eat. After all, you are doing this for you, so it makes sense to fix whatever you enjoy eating, then pig out on it ...

Alissa

04-03-2005, 03:35 PM

Oh yeah Melissa! And exercise, that is huge! it will get you back in touch with your body, its so important!

Sharon and Sweetgoddess- yes, this is a huge reason people fall of raw. i dont care what anyone says (I mean I care but I still think im right, lol!), in my opinion when you begin to 'cut out the nuts, cut down on the fats, not eat sweet fruits, limit this and limit that' that is when things start to fall apart. I cant even stress this enough!! I see and hear it all day long.

That is not to say there may not be periods where YOU FEEL like eating less. In the summer for instance, you may want mostly fruit and salads. If your body all of the sudden is feeling like it wants more fresh juice and not a lot of dehydrated, etc.. Then by all means follow that. But you may do that for a month and then say 'ok, i have a craving for guacamole... oh wait, too much fat and i can t have this dessert, oh boy, i guess i cant make that meal either'. Thats when you start to stray instead of just eating some extra foods, fats or whatever and not worrying about it! The next day you may go back to eating light. Its not a perfect science and it is always changing. This is SO important to know guys.

There are times over the last 16 years that i ate really light, mostly fruit and salad for many many months but then i moved to a cold climate and started eating heavier foods. Then 6 months after that i may have done a lot of green juices....etc..

This is what we need to adjust our thinking around. Raw food is strict enough. If your body is craving some almond butter or avocado, PLEASE do not deprive yourself. If you do and you start to think, oh i want this but cant have it, thats when you start running into trouble. Be kind to your body, treat it like a friend. ;) Ok, so you feed it raw foods cause you know its the best nutrition for it, but when you start to deprive it of what it needs and what it may just want -some extra raw foods, then your going to see it rebel.
levamssg - i love your post its so true, tired and hungry is not a good combo!
And this line:
"life is short, have dessert first" ... and have been known to have banana ice cream for breakfast! i think you and i would get along fabulously :p

Sweet lips

04-03-2005, 04:15 PM

We are one in the spirit here. I started a thread - Back together Again, and AutumLeaves something, something, also did the same, and it is no coincidence that we are all at the same place, at the same time, trying to get back on the wagon.

I can only believe that we just want to be free from wherever we are right now - and I am there with you. This journey is just not about food, it really is about our growth out of our wilderness of life - all the things past be they good, or preceived as negative have shaped us into the people whom we are - and as of yet, I have not anyone on this board who is just reprobate. Every situation, circumstance, pain, fear, hope, joy and love happened for us to understand just how special we are to our creator - we didn't just stumble into life - a very special something happen when the sperm and the egg joined and created us.

We are just journeying and now, we need to shake off the pale moonlight that is trying to hold us back -and to take us back to a place that we really have decided we not longer want or need to be. Let's keep it simple for now - we want to eat raw, and so we are raw. Don't add the why, whatfore, and to whom so ever, just place one foot in front of the other, and move toward the kitchen, and ignore the stove - oh, no, just having one more look is not necessary, and decide to prepare a nourishing love dish for you to eat, enjoy it so much, just don't forget to pick that food off of your shirt, we wouldn't want anyone to think we are a slob. Fill your self with life - and begin again. There is a little poem below for your thoughts.

Begin Again
"One of the best things we can do in our lives is this:
Begin again.

Begin to see yourself as you were when you were the happiest and strongest you've ever been.

Begin to remember what worked for you (and what worked against you) and try to capture the magic again.

Begin to remember how natural it was when you were a child - to live a lifetime each day.

Begin to forget the baggage you have carried with you for years: the problems that don't matter anymore, the tears that cried themselves away and the worries that are going to wash away on the shore of tomorrow's new beginning.

Tomorrow tells us it will be here every new day of our lives; and if we will be wise, we will turn away from the problems of the past and give the future - and ourselves - a chance to become the best of friends.

Sometimes all it takes is a wish in the heart to let yourself... Begin again. "

Rawkinlocs

04-04-2005, 06:11 AM

Melissa,

You've already gotten a lot of great advice...just wanted to say that we are all here to encourage, inspire and motivate one another! I, too, am making a recommittment after having a "just this once" moment that led to more and more "moments"...we're all getting it back on track and it's a blessing we're doing it TOGETHER!

Rawmommie

04-04-2005, 06:45 AM

Yep, I'm there too Melissa. For me I keep rationalizing that these "healthy" cooked foods aren't so bad. It's just vegetable chili, etc. The vegi's are still firm. And the awful thing is that I KNOW my mind is messing with me and I actually sometimes just say I don't care. I fasted for a week and it was wonderful, but when it was over the same feelings of food addiction came right back. I'm on track now, but it's difficult. I feel like I'm having a big inner battler.

I know this is just a stage and I think maybe I'm just fighting it too much an beating myself up too much. I want to eat raw, I know it's best for me and I should just do it. If I put all my energy into the struggle, then what's left?

blue_sky

04-04-2005, 09:30 AM

Amen!!!

Alissa, thanks for great advice-- just got your book and DVD and I think it will be a big inspiration to get back on the wagon.

I've learned a helpful thing for me anyway-- that if i tell myself i can "have it later, but not now" (cooked food or whatever the temptation is), i can wait indefinitely. When I say I can't have something period.... well, I can't get it off of my mind. Plus, then if i have a little, it turns into a LOT, because "well.... i can only have it THIS time!!!"

I have been eating some pretty bad meals lately. I can't believe how much more in tune with my body I have become since being mostly raw. Today I felt like finding this thread was a sign, a nudge in the right direction. Over last weekend, I ate dairy, a lot of it, AND drank a good deal of alcohol over the weekend-- now I am paying for it-- my nose is so stuffed and my whole body is literally in pain-- the shower water even hurt me this morning-- it's like detox in reverse (i'm going to call it, TOX!!!! for all those TOXINS!!!) It was also hard to get out of bed this morning.... I just felt like I could sleep forever. I don't want to feel this way anymore!!!

So, I am recommitting too. I am not doing a 30-day challenge... But I am going to take it one day at a time, and detox again, and to the best of my ability stay 100% or at least really high raw, and exercise a lot because it feels great and is fun, not because i HAVE TO, and choose the delicious raw foods and recipes that will make my taste buds, eyes, and body happy, because I think all those sensory pleasures are important in what we eat.

I am also going to try to get my fiance more into the raw foods life too... maybe do some more recipes. I am usually happy with pretty simple eating, soups, smoothies, salads etc.... but I don't think he'd be. But, pesto-stuffed mushrooms and "burgers"... I think he would like a lot. He may still have his ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch, but dinner being our time together, maybe he would be flexible on. I have alissa's book and dvd, rhio's book, and rainbow green book now.... so I think i will share with him!!!

Sorry this is so long. it's been on my mind a lot.

You guys (well, gals mostly :) are so amazing, inspirational, and supportive. Thanks a BILLION :)

Pailani

04-04-2005, 05:37 PM

in my opinion when you begin to 'cut out the nuts, cut down on the fats, not eat sweet fruits, limit this and limit that' that is when things start to fall apart. I cant even stress this enough!!

This is what we need to adjust our thinking around. Raw food is strict enough. If your body is craving some almond butter or avocado, PLEASE do not deprive yourself. If you do and you start to think, oh i want this but cant have it, thats when you start running into trouble.

I know I've read this before, but I guess it takes hearing it more than once to sink in. I think there's fear that, if I allow my body to indulge in what it wants, it'll gorge on nothing but sweets and fat. My body's ability to communicate has been so hampered by what I've put into it (sugar, caffeine) that I no longer trust it to know what it needs.

Raw Jewelrylady

04-05-2005, 10:42 PM

Melissa, I was a Cheese FREAK...I really did not think I would ever be able to live w/out cheese. My Husband eats my food, plus everything else(metabolism of a hummingbird) :D ...anyways, we keep the cheese in a meat drawer, (where I cannot see it. OUT OF SIGHT-OUT OF MIND!
I then put all my GOOD FOOD, where I can easily grab. Hope this helps. You are not alone. Good Luck,
Lana Q :)