non-raw friends

[jenjen]

hi! i've been 99% raw for almost 3 weeks now.
my husband knows, and is 100% supportive. but i'm afraid to tell anyone else! most of our friends are going to find out over time as we have a very social "resturant and dinner party" kind of life.

i know i'll be eating my raw dinner before we go out and then just eating salad with them...but how do you all deal with the, you know...pressure, comments, lectures.

i'm not intimidated enough to eat cooked because of them, but i'd love to hear what experiences others are having. any great lines? or come backs?

also, we have this 'special dinner' we do with friends once a year (it's a big deal..everyone slaves over their best creation and we all eat...8 or 9 courses)
i think i'll have to eat cooked that night...but i don't want to. that's the only night i'd feel pressure enough to...be cooked...
should i take loads of enzymes?

love reading everyones posts, you are all so inspiring!
j:)

[barose]

I haven’t told any of my friends yet either. My DP told some friends of his that came to visit us Saturday. We were going out and needed to find a place we can all eat at. It was either one of our raw food restaurants (they love it though they are not raw foodies) or at a Japanese restaurant where I could order salads, avocado rolls w/o rice, etc.

Other than that, no one knows, LOL. I wonder how that will be too.

[honeybee joy]

Do you feel they will criticize you or not accept you? Do you think it will make you feel uncomfortable, or them? Do you feel you might now be able to participate in the things you and your friends used to do and feel left out?

[jenjen]

well, i think some of them are going to, well, frankly be annoying with their "advice"
they were this way when i gave up sugar and bread....
i was months before they'd stop preshering me to eat that stuff. they mean well, i think they just feel they have a right to tell me what they think....over and over and over again.
j
thanx for your replies guys.

[barose]

I know what you mean Jenjen. I get annoyed by people who say "everything in moderation". Yeah, that’s really worked for me all of these years while dealing with food allergies and intolerances. :rolleyes: Thats part of my resistance in telling people.

[RawVee]

I think you'll find that when people are truly friends, they won't judge you for wanting a healthier lifestyle. As long as you're not trying to convert them to your way of eating, what do they care what you eat? Most people who get defensive or judgemental when around really healthy people are that way solely because they feel "guilty" about their own diet.

If you are confident, sure, happy and healthy, they can't argue with it. And if they really are giving you guff about it, ask them how they'd feel if you started breaking down what they ate and how "extreme" it was. Or, at your dinner parties, bring a delicious raw dessert or dish for them to try. You can't judge a raw vegan until you've eaten her food! :)

Just remember, this is for YOU and no one else.

[magglepie]

I think you'll find that people are truly friends, they won't judge you for wanting a healthier lifestyle. As long as you're not trying to convert them to your way of eating, what do they care what you eat? Most people who get defensive or judgemental when around really healthy people are that way solely because they feel "guilty" about their own diet.

If you are confident, sure, happy and healthy, they can't argue with it. And if they really are giving you guff about it, ask them how they'd feel if you started breaking down what they ate and how "extreme" it was. Or, at your dinner parties, bring a delicious raw dessert or dish for them to try. You can't judge a raw vegan until you've eaten her food! :)

Just remember, this is for YOU and no one else.

Couldn't have said it better myself Rawvee! True friends accept people the way they are :)

[lafsalot]

Revvell and Allissa talk about this very thing on their first Rawkinradio program - you may want to check it out ~ Cathy

[Vegan Princess]

You might be surprised by their reaction. One of my guy friends really surprised me. He is the total bachelor...not into living a healthy lifestyle at all. But I changed our restaurant choice one night and told him why and he got curious...asked me to prepare a meal for him and to take him to the local raw restaurant. He even came with me to the grocery store (vegetarian co-op)...but mostly b/c he had to if he wanted me to drive where we were going afterwards. Anyway, last weekend he said he really likes how healthy I am and that he's really been making a lot of changes in his diet b/c of me. So you just might end up educating someone. :)

Cindy

[magglepie]

Oh that's cool! I love when other people are influenced by what they see in you. They get that you have a positive vibe for whatever reason and they dig it.

[Veganforlife]

Yes, listen to Alissa and Revvell. Also - who are you doing this for? YOU! I didn't say anything until folks started noticing. They saw the glow, they saw my energy, they saw the weight melting off. THEN when I talked about it, and wowing them with RPs brownies, or Alissa's Angel Hair Pasta and marinara, they flipped out.
There was a discussion about this a while back. I'm sure if you search you can find a lot more of what folks have said and done.
At the end of the day when all your friends are in nursing home with horrid illnesses and in wheelchairs and you're VISITING them being your old happy raw self? They'll be the ones wishing they hadn't teased.
Vegan Princess' story about the guy learning from her? That's way cool. My "cube mate" I know has been influenced by me. They just might surprise you!

[Eva]

When I told my best friend (who is my best friend because we always seem to understand each other when no one else does...), she said "That's cool." She asked me a couple questions, she asks how it's going...

We work for the same company, and a couple weeks ago the boss told us we could each take someone out to dinner and spend $100 since we had a good week. She has a company credit card, and I didn't so she emailed me that I could pick out a place and she would call with the card. I told her I didn't even have time that day. Not 20 minutes later she sent me a link to a raw restaurant. Suggested I get a gift certificate since it would be tough to spend $100 there!

My husband's friends, who I like enough but they're not real friends of MINE, look at me like I have carrots for eyes. I just tell them I used to get stomach aches all the time, and they stopped. They still don't understand, but the topic changes.

Doesn't make me want to eat cooked food, though!

[itisagreatday]

Most people I have found don't really care what, how, or when I eat. 99% of my friends and family are meat eaters and on a SAD diet, and for the most part only ask the usual questions after learning I eat only raw food. Most did not know in the early stages because I don't make a big deal out of it. In time when they watch you eat or how you order they will ask you questions about what you are doing and say that it sure seems it would be hard to do. They are very curious, and for the most part naturally know in their hearts that it is the only way to fuel your body.

But, I have been around other raw eaters or vegans who announce to the world every time that they eat that there would " be no way they would put something as vile as cooked food or animal products in their mouth". That is when the questions begin, and not because they want to learn about the lifestyle, but because you have just offended everyone else in the room.

I can say that all my friends & family members have said they respect me and wish they could eat healthier once they see that what you are doing is just not a fad or another diet that you are trying. Most have change in some way or have increased the amount of raw food intake, due to my lifestyle.

I very rarely offer my views to someone on what to eat or not to eat until they ask me. Not that I am afraid to discuss it, I just don't think it is important at the moment. Not to mention the fact that when a person watches me eat a whole pineapple or a green salad in a bowl the size of the kitchen sink or a whole fresh bowl of strawberries the questions start not to soon after that. I found that people are very curious and 9 out of 10 will say I sure wish I could do that. That is when the fun starts. You tell them that they can eat raw and what all the benefits of eating raw are.

Just enjoy what you are doing and don't worry about what other people may think or say.

Have a great day

[darkchild]

When I decided to go 100% raw on April 1 this year, I told everyone beforehand, because when I did it last year for 6 weeks, I kept it to myself and it was really hard to avoid social gatherings and family events (it would have been even harder to go and not eat, food is the number one reason for my family to get together, LOL). Anyway, this time, I thought if everybody knew before I did it, then I wouldn't have to avoid them or try to come up with excuses for not eating their food.

I have had such success this time that all of my family and friends want in on it. They are being great about not pressuring me to eat things that I don't want or telling me I need to eat meat, etc. So, I'm glad that I did tell them about it, it's taking the pressure off of me that I had last year.

[Damzlfly]

I have told a few people, but not my best friend because she's not the most tolerant. I have pics of my raw uncooking extravaganza on my facebook and she called me up laughing at what I was eating. She said her daughter (7) looked at it and said ewww, it looks like dog food! And of course my frined HAD to share. I haven't mentioned a word to her since.

My dad told my 94 year old grandmother last month that I don't eat cooked food anymore (like how does THAT come up in conversation I would like to know) and she was like 'WHAT?? What does she eat? No cooked food? She's too skinny, you have to make her eat' blah blah blah

My sister thinks its weird but doesn't comment, my Mom and aunt are astounded at how I look and my aunt is at least very interested.

I have 2 friends that have been talking to me about it a lot recently, one being the cute guy I met at a party a couple of weeks ago, the other already a vegetarian. She is interested in the MC too.

I have not told ANYONE other than that one friend and 2 ppl at work that I am fasting. I don't have time for their crap. Oh the people at my organic store know, but thats only because I asked for a deal on 30 lemons! :eek:

I shouldn't have to defend my lifestyle to people, yet I feel I do. Their questions are more like accusations so I do not bother with it. I am happy with my choice and who cares if its not 'conventional' to some. It makes sense to me.

[jenjen]

all these comments are soo helpfull! it kind of stregthens me, you know?
well we went out for dinner last night with some friends...i sneaked around cooked food by saying my tummy was sorre and just wanted to eat light.

one friend (a woman)...wouldn't stop asking me about what beauty products i use!!! what do i do to my skin, my hair...ect, ect! throughout the evening she asked so many times that i started to (very casually) mention how i eat alot (suttle emphasis on alot) of raw foods. she just switched the subject back to products thinking the food would have nothing to do with it..

that was fun. i'm just going to do what makes me happy and watch people do their thing, whatever their reaction is.

thanx everyone!
j:D

[itisagreatday]

I am not sure why anyone would have to avoid social gatherings just because they are raw. Bring a bottle of water to drink or snack on the veggie platters that always seem to be around at parties. If you are going out to eat, get yourself a big salad and enjoy.

After their first comment of "are you serious", the rest of the questions are just the usual ones that are always asked. And for people who know me well we spend more time talking about ways to incorporate more raw into their SAD diet. Most people are always looking to eat healthier as it is anyways.

I can honestly say that if I felt uncomfortable around my family & friends because of the way I ate. Or they were always attacking me because of it, I would find new people to surround myself with. No time for the negativity in my life, it is just too draining.

But, I also am not a Militant Raw Eater either. I do not spend time judging them on what they eat, and they feel comfortable having anything they want to have around me. I think many people feel threatened by our life choice concerning food, and that we may be judging them every time they have a hot dog or slice of pizza. All of my family and friends go well beyond what is expected to try and have raw food that I can eat or prepare when I am invited over.

I feel most people attempting to be raw, over think it. Most people really don't care how or what I eat. And, unless I am bringing it up every time I see them. They did not even say much at that time of my change. Though I guess if you are going from a Sad diet to Raw, it may have a little shock. I had been a vegan nearly ten years before changing to raw.

I will say that my Mom does ask me quite often if I eat enough, though I love hearing that from her. She is my Mom and she is only doing what comes natural which is looking after me. Love Ya Mom:)

Anyways, do what makes you happy and feel good. And, don't worry about what others are thinking & saying. This way of life is about freedom and not about feeling a burden of trying to please others concerning your decision on what you eat.

If you feel better doing it,(which you will) do it.

[StarFire]

I understand the way you're feeling. Tonight is my first restaurant experience since going raw April 1, 2007. So this should be interesting! At my favorite Mexican restaurant... :rolleyes:

Most of my friends know - they tried to do an intervention on me last week. LOL! I wrote about it my journal - had to share the experience!!

I believe in this lifestyle - so -- at my age - you just keep doin what feels right and poo on anyone who doesn't agree!! :D