I realized something

[dreamrawalwz]

I posted this on my blog

"I think I realized something yesterday. I realized why I can't juice fast. It's not physical, but mental. I never thought it was a problem, but now it makes sense. I've been having VERY negative body image/thoughts of restricting and not "deserving" to eat. Anyway, I think the thought of drinking my calories scares me so much. I never made the connection though. I havn't had any liquid calories really for 6 years due to the ED. It's either been diet drinks or water. Not sure what steps to take to "get over it" and incorporate juices."

I don't know if others that havn't had an eating disorder would understand just how frightening this is for me. It's a difficult thing, but I want to jump over this hurdle.

[konmai]

hi dream,

I've had an ED, too and may have felt what you feel now. For me, I had to seriously hit rock bottom before eating healthier and just plain eating what my body enjoys. oh how my body moans when fed good things now. :p

It was more an inner job. I really DID NOT like myself and so the ED was a form of punishment I put on myself I realize now. The more I began loving myself, learning about my strong points, etc... the ED slowly faded away -- either the hurdle seem to be shrinking OR I became so much stronger that I can jump any hurdle.

I don't know if this may be the same case with you.