Feeling like a heel

[WannaBraw]

Hi everyone. Today is my 13th day on raw an living foods. On day number 4 my eldest sister (and closest friend) decided to join me on raw. At first, it was great because I had someone to go along the journey with, and she is very disciplined when she wants to do something.

The problem is that she doesn't prepare food. She has called me asking me to bring food to her job because she didn't take any food to work or to pick something up for her on my lunch break (there's only one place in our area that has raw foods). I have offered to have her come over twice per week to show her how to prepare raw foods herself. She has not taken me up on one offer, she has only asked me if she can have some of what I've made or asked me if there is a local raw foods delivery (the second time she didn't take food to work).

I have encouraged her to read books. I gave her Victoria Boutenko's "Green for Life" book, she said she skimmed through it. I tried to give her recipe books to get started making food, she wouldn't take them saying that she had school work to read????


she doesn't know anything about raw except that she wants to feel better. She won't buy any books, I tell her that she really needs to be informed and know what she's doing and gain a better understanding of what raw is, why eat raw and how to. I told here that I don't have all the answers. Yet she calls me all day long with questions about things and I keep telling her I don't know everything, please read a book by so and so.


I don't feel that she is not really serious about this and it is very frustrating that she takes no initiative. I am resenting her because she is putting the onus on me for her eating raw. I feel bad because I know more and I should help her. But I don't feel like she's trying and I am not about to do all the work for her.

What would you do?

[Stina]

Um, go to Co-dependents Anonymous. Okay, just pulling your leg. How open are the lines of communication between the two of you? Can you verbalize to her how much you appreciate her going Raw but it's too much responsibility for you to do food preparation for her? Any chance you two could barter back and forth? Point out how easy it is to make a good salad and the green smoothies. Keep the dialogue going here on the forum for on-going support. I guarantee some of us have been through similar situations.

[lafsalot]

Why should she read the book, (un)cook, or take you up on your offer when she still has you preparing and delivering her meals?!! ~ Cathy

[DavidZaneMason]

I hear you!

-You are not responsible for her. Help her if you want to and be happy. Don't help her if you don't want to - and don't worry about. But for goodness sake - don't help her and worry about it! Ha! ha!

-David Z. Mason

[lafsalot]

Why should she read the book, (un)cook, or take you up on your offer when she still has you preparing and delivering her meals?!! ~ Cathy

[RawFoodieMom]

I hear you!

-You are not responsible for her. Help her if you want to and be happy. Don't help her if you don't want to - and don't worry about. But for goodness sake - don't help her and worry about it! Ha! ha!

-David Z. Mason

What David said!

It doesn't seem to me that she's that motivated to do this.

I would tell her if she doesn't want to learn how to prepare recipes (because she won't read books or take you up on your offer of showing her how to uncook) then maybe she wants to do simple raw. Eat veggies, fruits, nuts and seeds in their whole, natural states.

You've done enough for her. You're not her maid. :p

Debra

[WannaBraw]

I haven't prepared any more meals for her, or taken her any food since Tuesday of last week. I went to a raw food buffet today (which I told her about a week ago). She didn't come and called me 10 times today wanting me to get her some food I'm sure. Sunday is a family day and I don't answer my cell phone.

I don't like confronting people. I figured eventually she'll get the message or I'll have to speak up in time.

When I tell her about what I made for a pot luck or for lunch she's always asks me to save her some. Well I made raw lasagna Friday, it's all gone.

I stopped making food and I am not picking anymore up for her. She has to do for herself.

[lodestar]

no one is quite as refining as family ;-)

[Sharon in Colorado]

Sometimes people tend to take advantage of me when I've extended myself in the past.

I've run into this before because I used to do a lot of recipes and share with friends, so I think some people believe I'm sitting around "uncooking" all the time when I don't do it anymore. They'll offer me money but it really costs more (than what is affordable to them) for me to do what they want because of all the ingredients and time. So essentially I had to tell them I couldn't do it for them.

You either have to tell her you won't do it or ask to be paid because it takes a lot of time and money to prepare stuff. The reason why she asks you is probably because you've done it in the past because you care so much about her.

Next time, tell her to give you ten bucks and then bring her a bunch of bananas and a box of raisins. She'll probably stop asking after that!

[spicyfull]

What about bringing me Lunch Tomorrow??

I know its serious to you but Funny to me....You know we Teach people how to Treat us. She has probably been using you all of her Life. Sister you just have to Say NO....I'll help, teach and share BUT I WILL NOT CARRY YOU.

[Revvell]

Since she wont read a book, suggest she take a LOLF class. If she wont even do that well, you know what you've got to do. As Spicy said ~ Teach her how to treat you... guess it's about time, eh?

Revvell