other peoples concerns

[Firicia]

Hello everyone. I am wondering how you deal with peoples concerns about what you are doing. In a month or two I am going to pretty much move back in with my mom after a bad relationship. To help myself get over the pain and to start getting my health back I am wanting to do a 30 day juice fast. I want the mental clairity, and to feel healthier, have time to think about my life and what I truly want and need, and to lose a some weight. My life is going through this huge change and a juice fast is just something that keeps coming up saying that if I deal with all my eomtions something really great is going to come out of it.

As soon as I told my mom 30 days she freaked out about how unhealthy it is and how many articles she's read on how dangerous it is. She said she was scared my organs would shut down and I'd die. She wouldn't even listen to what I had learned about fasting... and I don't think she's fully done her own research. She's fasted before but only lasted a day or two cuz as soon as she started feeling bad she got scared. She got freaked out about raw foods too.

Anyone else have people concerned like this? Am I just going to have to ignore her? If she won't take the time to research the truth for herself, then I can't exactly convince her of anything if she refuses to change her oppinion. I guess I'm sad that as understanding about everything my mom seems to be, when it goes against something that she's been taught she doesn't look up new info she just puts down what I'm saying like at 21 I still couldn't possibly know anything... just frustraited that she doesn't trust anything I seem to have found to be truth for myself. Maybe it just takes time?

[vwinters]

Hi Firicia,
Since you asked for advice.

It appears you are unhappy because you don’t have your mother’s approval.

You really have no control over what your mother chooses to think or feel.

You can be happy in spite of your mother’s disapproval.

Your feelings are based on your thoughts. If you think snow is a wonderful beautiful event you’ll feel happy when it snows. If you think snow is a miserable messy pain in the butt, you’ll be unhappy when it snows.

You control your thoughts. If I tell you to think of a red bell pepper, you could choose instead to think of a green bell pepper, or a carrot, or an elephant.

Here is one less concept that has helped me to deal with disapproval. At least ½ the people you interact with are going to disapprove of at least half the things you say and do at least half the time. So when you run into it, just figure it part of the game and move along.

This situation is a wonderful opportunity for you to practice dealing with disapproval. The skills you learn in dealing with this situation will likely help you for the rest of your life. Your mother is giving you a valuable gift with her behavior. Honor her for playing this important role in your personal growth.
VW

http://www.ketoforum.de/diet-ticker/pic/weight_loss/11398/.png (http://www.diaet-ticker.de)

[Solace]

OH boy, well you need to study like your life depends on it, cuz it does. The more knowledge you have the more confidant you will be and better at making sense to others. If your mom is soo concerned, then she might like to share in the BOOK discovery too ! There are so many people on here with a great deal of knowledge as well as Alissa. I recommend Books by Victoria Boutenko, David Wolfe and of course people on here recommend Alissa and I am sure Alissa has many book reccomendations. EDIT Not to say you have not done this already. I am sure many of the people on here can tell you, they are not dying even after fasting for more than a month.

[Sheryl]

Just an idea... given that you're drinking juice it's not really a fast. Go with the title JUICE FEAST instead and let her know you'll get lots of calories. She's just worried about you not eating. You can easily set her mind at rest.

Cheers,
Sheryl

[Sharon in Colorado]

To me, it is easier to just do something like that on my own and not tell people I'm going to do it. I know you'll be moving in with her and all, but if you're an adult it's none of her beeswax. Your not trying to hurt yourself or take drugs, you are trying to heal yourself.

In fact, last time I went on a fast/cleanse, I didn't tell my mother, but in the middle of the fast, I was on the phone with her and mentioned it in passing that I was on my X day of the cleanse. I think because I was so upbeat she didn't protest, like she normally would have, had I told her before embarking on it.

After having my first child with a midwife and homeschooling and all, she's come to accept that I don't do things conventionally anymore. Sooner or later your mother will come to realize this as well.

It can be difficult to keep that kind of info to yourself, but in the long run it's a lot easier, knowing that you aren't getting into discussions and debates with others. Also if you go off the fast/cleanse, you don't feel like you've 'failed' others when they find out you couldn't make it all the way.

[Sharon in Colorado]

One more thing: Since she already knows and is freaking out about it, buy her the book "Miracle of Fasting" by Paul Bragg. His approach is the hardcore water only one, and since you'll be on juices, it would be less of a blow to her.

It is an excellent book with many cases and interesting info all about the benefits of fasting.