New from Martha's Vineyard

[Eva]

Hello all...

I'm on Day #2, although I was weak and had half a cup of coffee yesterday!

I have acne that will not go away (about one year old), stomach aches every day, gas, I'm tired all the time, and I get upset way too easily. Most of this came after I got married... My husband's a doll, but he's Brazilian and loves to cook everything to death and eat abnormal amounts of fatty and gross red meat. I've tried explaining to him about how he's zapping all the nutrients when he cooks vegetables until they're soft, but he usually cooks the food in our house and doesn't tend to listen to suggestions as much as I'd like. I just end up exchanging some of the food for a salad or something, but it's still no good.

I'm probably not going to lose any weight as my weight does not seem to change ever, and I'm already a pretty healthy 130, 5'5".

Something in my gut told me all of these problems were my diet, I did a search on the internet, found this site, ordered the book. So, here I am on the second day. I'm in the process of sprouting some seeds as of last night, and I'm feeling like I will surely screw it up, but we'll see.

My biggest challenge will surely be my husband. Although, since we got married he has gained about 30 pounds. I just know that he's going to see me improve, but I don't know if he'll be inspired or if he will continue to stuff his face with crap beyond what is normal.

[spicyfull]

I wish you everything you need to Stay RAW..........Welcome to MY World....

[luckitri]

Yes these Hispanic men have red meat tied up with their macho. On the border with Mexico even the Walmart has supplements for the macho Mexican male made out of beef balls and the like.

I tried to show my husband by feeding our dogs raw meat. There was an instant health benefit. Our old man dog has really had a youthful rebound in his health. My husbands conclusion is that he needs more red meat cooked rare. He says that he actually feels ill if he does not have red meat every day. Well. He is diabetic and has already had a triple bypass so I don't know what to do for him. He eats Fritos and all kinds of fatty stuff. I will feed him raw vegetable preparations but if he wants meat he has to cook it himself.

Me, I am not 100% but I am getting my figure back. I went to work in new clothes yesterday that showed off my new (former) figure modestly and no-one said anything but I could tell that they noticed. It really is so great to feel like you look half way decent. Helps to have a good outlook. I went to the outlet store and got me some of those really low-rise tight jeans and a shirt and my 12 year old insisted that I go back and get more. He was thrilled and told me that I don't look old and fat in those clothes. I am past the half century mark and my shirts will cover the cleavage but it does feel good to wear those clothes and it is strange how my other clothes make me look so frumpy. Actually, now that the jeans manufacturers have clued in to the fact that some of us like that old style girdle quality denim as opposed to the stretchy stuff - well - hmmm - I will leave the rest of my statement to your imagination! Hope you are laughing now!

PS. I think that some of the longer timers to this site have had medical condition that sounds like yours. Reading old threads here may help you. I do not wish to diagnose on so little information and I am not qualified but I believe that you have come to the right place. Maybe search for hormone imbalance?

[Eva]

Since I started thinking about my own health again, now I'm starting to get paranoid that I'll be in my prime in 10 years and my husband will be dealing with stuff like the triple-bypass surgery. He disagrees and is SURE that he NEEDS large quantities of red meat!

My mother even talked to him once after we got into a stupid fight about food (she insisted), and he told her that he's tired of us "trying to take the Brazilian out" of him!

As for hormone imbalances and the like, I do not even need to search. My face is already clearing up, and my stomach aches are a thing of the (three days ago) past! It's like a miracle, but I'm still a little gassy! :p

I actually searched for "spouse" on the site and didn't have any luck. Do you know if there is a specific thread of men or women who are dealing with spouses that have worrisome health and are unsupportive of Raw?

[Eva]

Congrats on your new outfits/figure/outlook/improved health! :)

12-year olds (and I know, we have full custody of his two boys, one is very much 12) seem to tell the truth about others, good or bad! So you must be looking good!

[Pierre]

Brazil isn't Hispanic, it's Lusitanic :) Both are Latino.

Bem-vinda a RFT! Da qual parte do Brasil? Passei duas semanas em Minas Gerais and the best thing I liked about the food was the smoothies! Fresh-squeezed orange juice with any of several other fruits mixed in. Eating like that I went straight from the dead of winter to sun straight overhead and it was several days before my skin even thought of sunburn! So see if you can get some Brazilian fruit and make a smoothie. I don't know if the maracujá I get here is raw and I know the açaí isn't (I may go to Belém sometime), but I can get fresh abacaxi and banana and freeze them and mix them up.

If he feels ill when he doesn't eat meat, it's probably detox. Hopefully he can understand what that's about.

[luckitri]

Some of us have mentioned our husbands on threads but I am not aware of one specifically dedicated to them. Also on raw kids it is usually about converting younger children. I have supported my family by working nights for many years and so I was not there to monitor what they ate. Even now that I have finally qualified for a day shift I simply cannot keep up with making raw food for them. (Well they simply won't eat it) So it was just too easy to go get a burger for a buck for Dad when he was home with the kids in the evening while I worked. My son's best friend is very macho and he appreciates some raw stuff - mostly the fruit smoothies. The kids rebel against anything at this age and I realize that I am fighting TV, school, culture at large and Dad.

My husband was a Navy Seal and he is in his late 60's. They are so brainwashed also by the military as to eating for strength and stamina and then the macho thing. I was very ill at one point and visited some forums for raw people that eat raw meat. Yuck! I notice that the posters on those forums were mostly guys and here we have mostly women and am not sure what conclusions that I can draw from that. I have a sister who craves raw meat but to me - I have never been much on meat - it always smells rotten to me. Anyway, getting my husband or child to be raw vegan is just wayyyy too big of a battle for me. I think that if I were well off enough that I could be a stay at home wife and mother I could slowly slip in enough raw creations that I could make a dent - but working full time and then having no help around the house or with all the animals? I just can't do it.

Maybe search for "husband"?

Oh yes, I had to laugh when one of the guys on the raw meat forum was trying to figure out how to eat his cow that he bought. Most of it is just too nasty and rough and gristly - not food for human consumption. I can not picture our ancestors eating it at all.

[Beckla]

Welcome, Eva!!

We live in Boston. My husband is 6'8 and, when we began this adventure, was close to 295 lbs.

Seeing the results in me, he's now at 175 -- in 3 weeks -- and, for the very first time in his 34 years -- has abstained from meat/dairy for 3 weeks. NEVER, in my wildest imagination, did I ever think he'd do a 30 day challenge... let alone stick to it.

I'm so glad you're here and wish you nothing but the best.

Becca

[Conscious Midwife]

My husband is Egyptian. He loves pastry sweets, whit flat bread and fava beans. He's a big eater but he has tried every dietary change that I've attempted. The closest he's going to get to long term raw is probably 2 raw meals a day and then a pesco vegetarian lunch or dinner.

Meats not a biggy for him to skip becuase it isn't halal/ kasher in our local markets, and special ordering it has become a chore. Meat is not cooked in our house , but I know he consumes it at the chineses buffet.

I like cooking and grand presentation so 100% raw has been difficult for me. I'm striving for a consistently high raw vegan diet with cycles of 100% Raw plus days of just juice feasting. Hubby is game, so that's our focus now.

[luckitri]

There are alot of guys doing this. They just don't post as much. They just do it. There was a guy who came here about a year ago, learned, and then came back recently to show us his before and afters. He looks great! He had phenomenal weight loss. I wish I could remember his name so I could show you.

[lavendarJ]

I agree with the post. I think that in time, your husband will become curious. Now I still have family members who think I've fallen into some type of eating disorder or extremist way of eating. But then, there are others, like my sister, who actually now attempting to learn about raw and eat healthier.

[rawpriestess]

welcome welcome welcome

[Eva]

So funny to see the beginning of my journey. I almost can't believe I once had acne and stomach aches EVERY DAY!

Gotta love raw!

[spicyfull]

And three of those people including yourself post regularly. Time does bring about all sorts of change.

[RawVegRon]

Eva,

I watched two wives become different people after we married. I watched them gain weight, turn into bitchy people, develop health problems. . . food, and time, and "circumstances beyong our control" can have a very large effect on a marriage. The hard thing for me to realize was that I had no control over my wife. It was even harder for me to realize that I apparently had no control over my own life!! Now I'm having a hard time realizing that food, and time, can have the same deleterious effects on me as I've seen it have on my ex-wives.

I seem to be in a desperately negative mood today. Reality and Truth don't seem to be too attractive to me today because I have a chocolate chip cookie hangover this morning. I must have hypoglycemia or something today. I think food must be affecting the way I think and feel today. Sorry if it rubs off on you.

Ron

[Eva]

Ron,

I'm there with you today. The not so funny thing is that I thought I had everything under control. I did. And I just am hating some things happening with my job now. I don't have the courage to just, quit. And I think I NEED to have my own business rather than deal with other people's garbage.

I just had some (Not raw!) bread and cheese a couple hours ago. I had a conference call and 10 minutes before it, I ran out to get something to stuff my emotions down.

And now I've been in and out of the bathroom, what a quick turnaround of events. Sigh.

I JUST recommended to someone else to go through this workbook I have called "Revvellutionize Your Life". Seems like it's time for me to get back to self exploration.

Maybe that would be helpful to you too? I think it's worth examining why we do the things we do.

:eek::o I wish you the best.
Eva

[RawVegRon]

Eva,

Yes, I know what you mean. I worked for some 40 years, and it seems that I never had a job that I really liked! There was always politics, personalities, abuse, exploitation, deadlines and stress on my jobs--and they never paid enough money, or gave me a feeling of satisfaction. I retired on social security in 2005 and went to a tropical island--but life didn't please me there either, and I came back to Seattle. Now I'm bored again, and planning to go back to work just to have something to do with my time.

I think the real problem is my expectations; the way I think. Maybe I need to work on me: adapting and accepting myself, and accepting Reality, the way it is. I sometimes go to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous for support, but that is not what I'm really looking for because they slurp a lot of coffee and stuff a lot of doughnuts in their meetings. Then after the meeting, they go outside and smoke cigarettes, then meet at the local pizza place to load up on high-fat junk.

I'm hoping to find someone who is seeking a slightly different kind of self-improvement. For example, I've started a personal journal on the internet. I'm trying to develop a 12-step support group like AA, which would apply to raw food. Would you be interested?

In AA they have 12 steps, support group meetings, sponsors and advisors, and a Big Book of instructions to help them get sober and change their lives for the better. I think it is a very good idea. I have used it to quit drinking for 18 months now. I would rather have a support group for staying raw and improving my life that way. Would you be interested in something like that?

I agree with you that the problem seems to be that when I get stressed on my job, or feel frustrated in my relationships, that I seek comfort food to change my feelings. Well, that is the same problem that alcoholics have, except they seek alcohol in those times, and AA helps them stay away from alcohol.

Do you think we could start a support group to help other people and (ourselves) stay away from junk food by coping with our emotions instead of eating over them?

Ron

[Eva]

Ron,

I think it's a great idea!!! Victoria Boutenko has a book called "Twelve steps to raw" or something similar. I have it at home. I actually didn't read it all the way through, but my mom did and seemed to have gotten a lot out of it! :)

At the moment, I am very busy with all sorts of things, so the best I can do with the 12 steps venture is be a support when I pop on here. Why not just start a thread called "12 steps to raw" or something?? But please keep in mind that this forum is based on Alissa Cohen's book... so as long as you're respectful of that, it could be worth a go!

:)