other's reactions to raw

[merfie]

i am having a crazy week with other's reacting to me. i wrote about this in my blog...my boss freaked out on me today and attacked my character and personality (i know she was projecting most of it) but it had nothing to do with my job. she was extremely mean about everything and said "it's all about meredith." the bizarre part is that she then told me she loves me and we're all a big "family." man are we dysfunctional and twisted...she has been constantly making fun of my diet.

then, i talked to my ex (as of 2 days ago) boyfriend just a bit ago. i know he's hurt and feels that it's unexpected, but it wasn't. he was angry, i understand, but when i couldn't really give him an explanation (didn't need to hurt his feelings more) other than i need to follow a different path, he then said, "oh, yea, it's all about meredith."

yes, it is all about me. i am working on me, i am changing rapidly, i am following a path i have been looking for for years, i am becoming healthy, i am taking care of me, a "selfishness" that i'm okay with. with all this said, it still really got to me, and yes i understand there may be some validity behind it, which i am willing to explore.

so many lessons are coming at me so fast, i need a break!

[greenfeline]

Many times people are afraid of what is different. They want people to be like them and then blame you saying you think it is all about you! I hope that made sense:o Stay on your path to higher self awareness. There are like minded people on this board to support you!

[moonpie]

Merfie,

I admire and applaud you for taking that hard step and breaking up with your bf...if it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't.
I too, have had a hard time with others reactions to my change in diet. My husband has been the most critical and resistant. When I first started raw, he was soo mad, and the only reason I could get out of him was that he thought I was trying to starve myself - I also know that he is opposed to any change in his life, so when I changed my diet, somehow he translated that into 'She's changed her core beliefs and she's not the woman I married'. Needless to say, we've talked about it - well, I've talked about it and he's listened with a half-skeptical look on his face - and he seems a little more relaxed about it now...but I know this issue is far from settled.
Anyhoo, please don't ever tell yourself that you are selfish for looking after you...none of us deserve to feel that way!!

[Ariannah]

People's reactions to going raw and natural (especially, in my case as I was a junk food vegetarian before) can often be hard to work around.

Especially when, like myself, you're raw because you believe in it, not because you have some "life threatening allergy", but because you believe in it from the core of your being. It almost made me wish I had an allergy to fall back on. Because when I am asked why, I give something lame like, "Oh, I just feel like eating fruit."

When your lifestyle is suddenly different to someone else's that you are close to, it can seem, just by the very act (actions speak), to be an affront to others and their lifestyle.

This is when I go out of my way to make sure I show support their lifestyle wholeheartedly. If there's a party and they want me to bring a bag of pretzels... sure, I'll do it. I'll also bring a plate of fruit to share with others who want it......

Over time, the novelty of what I do has worn off, and my friends have relaxed. I even offered recently for my friends to come over and make pizzas (cooked) together. Sure, I'll be eating grapes or whatever when they're doing it, but if it's what they want to do - I'll offer the place to do it, with joy.

I am thankful my husband and family support me in what I do. There's no "explaining" I have to do, and I can just do what I do, and also make the meals they like. They're certainly enjoying having more salads and fruit around the house!

[Veganforlife]

Oh I agree with what the others have said. Congrads that you realize YOU need some change in your life. And I feel the negative others around you can't accept change and are envious that YOU can and this is how they deal with it. You didn't need them to tell you it's all about Meredith (in their sarcastic way), but hey it is and so what? It's a good thing. When they are laying in a hospital bed somewhere due to a SAD induced illness later in life, um, it'll be all about them now, won't it?

[jaurequi]

Good for you! It IS all about you, and don't forget it ;).
Seriously, it is wonderful that you take care of and love yourself. No one else is going to take care of you, but you; and no one can take the place of loving your self.
You have to love yourself to love others, as cliche as that sounds; but it's true, yes?

Bravo!

[Damzlfly]

Well my sister thinks I have an ED because I 'obsess' about what I eat (I was diagnosed with a multitude of food insensitivities last summer and purged everything out of my cupboard...come to think of it, why can't I do that now with RAW??? weird...garbage bag anyone?) and my dad thinks he's going to outlive me because of my 'weird' diet (he took my sister and I out to the Keg on th weekend for dinner..do u think they have ANYTHING that isnt meat????..I had a salad). Oh and did I mention that I'm running a 1/2 marathon in the fall? He also thought I was nuts to do that...I can't do that, I'm not a runner! whatever.

My MOM on the other hand thinks I sound awesome on the phone, full of life and energy and positivity. I am still transitioning and have found myself to be extremely tired, but other than that, I am feeling uplifted. This is a HUGE thing for me because by nature, I am a very sarcastic and dry..tending towards negative individual, and didn't like it much.

So to everyone who thinks we are 'nuts' I say screw ya! What matters is how you feel inside and thats what should keep you motivated.

[vwinters]

i am having a crazy week with other's reacting to me. i wrote about this in my blog...my boss freaked out on me today and attacked my character and personality (i know she was projecting most of it) but it had nothing to do with my job. she was extremely mean about everything and said "it's all about meredith." the bizarre part is that she then told me she loves me and we're all a big "family." man are we dysfunctional and twisted...she has been constantly making fun of my diet.

then, i talked to my ex (as of 2 days ago) boyfriend just a bit ago. i know he's hurt and feels that it's unexpected, but it wasn't. he was angry, i understand, but when i couldn't really give him an explanation (didn't need to hurt his feelings more) other than i need to follow a different path, he then said, "oh, yea, it's all about meredith."

yes, it is all about me. i am working on me, i am changing rapidly, i am following a path i have been looking for for years, i am becoming healthy, i am taking care of me, a "selfishness" that i'm okay with. with all this said, it still really got to me, and yes i understand there may be some validity behind it, which i am willing to explore.

so many lessons are coming at me so fast, i need a break!

The “it’s all about Merideth” line is a manipulation ploy being utilized by your boss & ex to make you doubt yourself and to increase their control in your life. Be strong and be true to yourself. You’re doing great! :)
VW

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar097/penguin/lb/528.2/140/513.2/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/weight-tracker/)

[JennaLynne]

I know how you feel.... I talked to my dad the other night on the phone and he asked what I had for dinner and when I said a salad, I could feel him rolling his eyes and he said "oh yeah, you're on another one of your kicks again." (I tried being a vegetarian when I was younger, and I've been on and off several diet plans.) Yeah dad.. thanks for the encouragement!! Ugh.. It can be frustrating, for sure.

However, I was thinking about all of this... not only my diet, but other areas of my life where I differ from them and so many (namely spiritual beleifs) and I have to do what I know to be right, and true...despite what they think or feel. They're entitled to their opinion, just as I am entitled to mine. And if I am not living the best that I know how to live.. then I'm cheating myself, my kids, and everyone around me.

Just keep pushing through... try to let the comments be like oil on water, don't let em stick ;) You are doing wonderful.

Jenna

[Revvell]

"oh, yea, it's all about meredith."

yes, it is all about me.

Just tell them, no, it's not all about me, it's all about REVVELL! :D

That will break the pattern when they say "who???" heh!

Revvell

[puffysmom]

I know how u feel. I have not actually gotten much from family as most of them dont know I am doing raw. My son, dil and grandchildren do but that is all. When i was doing mostly salads my sis thought I was nuts. I ate huge ones and I stayed at their place for several days. her hubby thought I was a pig eating so much greens. There was a lot but I didnt get hungry later and eat ice cream like he did. Also i lost weight doing it so my sister told me it must be ok or i would not lose weight. Of couse i was doing some cooked foods then but not much meat.

I was at church yesterday helping with quilting for charity and we usually stop midmorning to snack and chat. Well someone has to bring a snack so i took my own. One lady asked me if i was on a special diet and I said yes but that was all. She did not ask........i did not say anymore and it was forgotten. I had taken two coconut macaroons which looked better than what they had.:D

I am doing this for me. So Meredith u r doing it for u. Nothing wrong with that. I know it is hard to let it slide but try to do just that. U dont judge how they live so they should not judge u or any of us.

A online friend asked if i was ever going to cook food. I told her I had no idea. I so love steamed veggies but i also love them raw so why take all the nutrients out? It keeps her happy with what I am doing. She knows I am trying to clear up my psoriasis and arthretic psoraisis.

[Sharon in Colorado]

When I was a tween I had a best friend and we used to listen to pop all the time. All of a sudden she started listening to rock and roll and I remember feeling very ackward and confused. I remember another time being really into bell bottoms in the 70's and a friend of mine moved on to 'straight leg jeans'.

Both times I felt sort of left behind and left out. Like they moved on to something bigger and better.

Imagine this amplified as an adult. The difference is we ARE adults and it seems a bit ridiculous and juvenile when someone can get so emotionally charged about another person's journey or new life choices.

Yet, it still takes us out of our comfort zones, sometimes makes us feel inadequate or we feel like the person making those choices are somehow making bad choices and truly are endangering their lives.

I think the best thing to do when we change is not to overly focus on that stuff around our loved ones, we are still the same people that they know and love - to me, by overfocusing on our new changes and choices sometimes we push those loved ones away.

I try to be the same Sharon my old friends remember, but I also show a different light so that they are curious enough to wonder and want to try and improve their own lives.

I think I've successfully had that effect on many, partly because many old friends and family members and asking me what I'm doing and also what they could be doing, and they've never done that before.

[Sharon in Colorado]

Just tell them, no, it's not all about me, it's all about REVVELL! :D

That will break the pattern when they say "who???" heh!

Revvell

LOL! You're so silly! :p

[Revvell]

LOL! You're so silly! :p

Yuh! And I "try" to remember to be that way rather than be SO, SO SERIOUS about stuffs all the time!

[RowanC]

Look, I say, "Of COURSE it is all about me!" For each of us, that is the TRUTH of the matter.

We can NEVER change anyone else's mind or life. We can make suggestions, pray, hope, talk til we're blue in the face, but the bottom line is the ONLY person we can ever change, for good or bad, is ourselves!

By changing ourselves, we make change in the WHOLE.

Yes! It IS all about YOU making positive change for yourself. By embracing a healthier diet, your body will heal, making YOU happier and healthier and more pleasant to be around. By healing your body, you will heal your mind and capabilities to perform your job.

People fear what they do not understand. Since they are failing, it's almost as though they want YOU to go along on their ride.

Simply refuse.
When they say it's all about YOU, just shrug and say, 'yup!"

Frankly, a boss who is making those types of statements in a crowd is bordering on harrassment in my opinion...she may need a firm but respectful request IN WRITING not to do that.:eek:

[Vegan Princess]

I'm really proud of you for putting you first! :)

No one at work knows I'm raw, but everyone comments on what I eat. I work with mostly men and one actually said vegetables are not allowed in a certain area (in jest of course but it's sort of true). Just this week I started making green smoothies in the kitchen and boy you should see the looks on those guys faces! But I am educating those that ask and mostly just laughing to myself that they probably think I'm crazy...but I don't care. The man who teased me the most when I became vegan had a mild heart attack. He is fine, but now he can't eat the junk either...and no way would he tease me now!

Hang in there. I think in time when people see it's not a phase they stop bugging you. But don't take their comments to heart. You obviously know what is best for you.

Cindy