View Full Version : Saying "No thanks" nicely?
02-24-2007, 06:53 PM
Well I am on day 3 of being raw, and loving it. Last night I went out to a club dancing with some friends and some of thier friends. I had one problem, I did not want to drink and everyone kept trying to buy me drinks and kept asking where they were, trying to shove drinks in my face, and in the last attempt someone just bought me one (which thankful my bf drank for me:rolleyes: ). I know they are trying to be polite when they buy me a drink without me asking, but I still said all night I wasn't drinking. Has anyone every gone through this? I want to be polite but firm, maybe it's just something that will take time for them to get used to that I'm not going to be drinking? Thanks for the help, I respect them and don't want to hurt thier feelings.
02-24-2007, 06:56 PM
Sounds like you handled it pretty good actually. Just hold your hand up and say, "No thanks, really." and turn your head or walk away. They'll get the message. And if they are truly your friends, they'll respect your wishes.
02-24-2007, 06:57 PM
I would take it and just go to the restroom with it and dispose of it there or walk around with it all night long, but don't drink it...
02-24-2007, 07:05 PM
I want to be polite but firm, maybe it's just something that will take time for them to get used to that I'm not going to be drinking? Thanks for the help, I respect them and don't want to hurt thier feelings.Trying to give them the benefit of the doubt here, because when people are used to us being a 'certain way' it is sometimes hard for them when we want to change. I suppose, too, I am not one for making big announcements, so I would just say in a situation like this, "I don't feel like drinking tonight." Hoping that they wouldn't try to 'test' me!
But I have to ask you, if you respect them, do you think the way they treated you was respectful? I mean, if no means no, what was their problem? And while it's nice your BF took your drink, I hope he wasn't driving!!
02-24-2007, 07:30 PM
Haha we don't have a car so no one was driving.
But ya it didn't feel very respectful. I honestly have only had drinks with all of those people once, but maybe they just assumed I'm as dumb as I was on new years (got sick for 3 days after and haven't have the desire for a drink since, my body just can't handle alcohol no matter how little)
Thanks for your support guys and your words :) I am just gonna "keep on trucking" and they'll get used to it eventually. When I was younger people used to call me a prude for not wanting to do drugs, like all the time they called me that, but I didn't care then and if they think that I'm weird for not drinking now then they're not gonna be good friends.
02-24-2007, 08:08 PM
I was a notorious partier back in the day, and when I say "I'm not drinking tonight" you should see the looks and the "give me a break" comments that I get.
I've always been health conscious (or so I thought) and into working out, but still a partier. Since I've been on a MAJOR quest to better health for nearly a year now, people are slowly coming to realize that I'm not drinking as much, if any.
I haven't completely given up alcohol, but I might have one or two drinks every couple months. (I also live in a very remote place and don't go out much). This will all be a new challenge when I move back to America and am going to see live music as much as possible.
But I know what's best for me, so I can either accept that or face the consequences. :)
Firicia, your real friends will respect your wishes. I went through this many years ago when I quit smoking pot. My friends ALL smoked, but it only took me a few times explaining that I really didn't want to partake before they understood I was serious. Try being firm, but if they persist, ask them "which part of 'no' don't you understand?"
02-24-2007, 09:09 PM
You're SO not alone, sweetie.
Seems that even as we age and become increasingly, outwardly "professional" and "responsible", many of our dear friends - and WE - cling to the laid back, whatever days.
I've met grimaces... frowns... huhs.... and "oh pleeeeease"s .... with a smile. The more I believe in what I'm doing, the more it seems to come across. Though, for me, it will likely always remain a challange (e.g. saying to the grocery store checkout clerk - 'yeah, um. two bags of lemons. yeah, um.. we have a weird diet...'
right or wrong (please save me the speeches - we all come to raw in our own time and way - the key part is that we come because it happens to be right for each of us individually) --- I have felt more and more resolute and less and less apologetic as I've gone.
Know what one of the most amazing parts of this journey has been for me?
Discovering how many other people knew about the raw lifestyle (it's not just a diet to me!). It's pretty pervasive in our culture... sure, that depends on where you are and Boston can be a liberal city of sorts... but, still... raw nuts and Lara Bars in my general grocery store?? We're less and less on the periphery.
Stand tall. And do only what feels right to you and your body. :)
02-25-2007, 03:10 AM
People can get used to anything, and eventually your friends will get used to you not drinking. It took quite a few polite refusals in my experience, but I just had to reinforce to them, 'I am happy, I am very happy with or without drinking.'
02-25-2007, 03:40 AM
I would make an announcement to my friends, I'm no longer drinking, respect that, support me. Communication.
02-25-2007, 08:17 AM
-It's probably easier for you than for me! Ha! ha! You CAN just order a glass of water and nurse that all night! With a drink in your hand....its hard to buy you a drink! LOL. You just raise your glass and point to it! Silence is sexy!
-David Z. Mason
02-25-2007, 09:40 AM
i know exactly what you are going through i've just recently started raw as well and i have the same problem with my friends.
I've been trying to quit for a while now because i always get silly when i drink and then my friends tell me am boring when am not drinkin ! they buy me drinks even when i say no and sometimes i feel really bad. i think it will just take them sometime to realize that we are serious and they have to respect that
02-25-2007, 02:13 PM
Why not just tell them as it is? If they've only been drinking with you once and you indeed got sick for three days after. Why not just tell them, "no thanks, my body really can't handle it"? They will understand!
Fly forever free!
03-13-2007, 01:48 PM
i had a mild to serious drug and alcohol addiction problem all throughout high school and towards the end of middle school. i kept my grades up and what not, and outwardly it probably didnt look that bad, and there are those who are surely worse, but nonetheless i had a problem and realized i was alcoholic. i got help, and i was sober for a little over 2 months before i started this raw way of eating( i have only beeen eating raw for 2 weeks). the more i get into this diet the more the alcoholic in me is leaving because i dont eat one apple and then eat 10 more like i would if the apple was beer. cooked food cravings are leaving and alchohol i guess is one of them.
any friends of bill w let me know.
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